Archive of Our Own

“Hello? Earth to Eom Seonghyeon?”

Seonghyeon barely registers the voice at first, his attention fixed across the cafeteria for long enough that the rest of the room has faded into an indistinct hum of scraping chairs and clattering trays. It takes a large hand waving directly in front of his face to finally pull him back.

He blinks and looks up.

Martin is staring at him from across the table, eyebrow raised. Following Seonghyeon's line of sight, Martin turns his head, eyes landing on a particular figure sitting several tables away.

Kim Juhoon.

There is nothing particularly remarkable about what Juhoon is doing. He's sitting with a few other students, listening to someone talk while absently picking at his food. His dark brown hair is neatly parted, nicely framing his pale face that somehow never seems to lose it's composure. He doesn't fidget, doesn't slouch or seem bothered by the noise around him.

He never seems bothered by anything. That, strangely, is what bothers Seonghyeon.

It's not as though Juhoon has ever done anything to him – they've barely spoken. If Seonghyeon were truly being honest, he couldn't name a single specific thing Juhoon had done that deserved this kind of disapproval.

It's that Juhoon is the type of person everyone seems to like without him having to work for it. Good grades, great at sports, easy to talk to (or so he's heard). Teachers and nearly the entire student body like him, and somehow he always knows exactly what to say to appease everyone. Even his best friend Martin, who is usually suspicious of people Seonghyeon dislikes, has nothing but good things to say about the guy.

Martin turns around and gives him a look, “I don't understand why you hate him so much. He's a cool dude.” He casually reaches across the table and steals a fry from Seonghyeon's plate as he says it.

So yeah, unfortunately, Martin thinks Juhoon is great. Of all the people he could've chosen to become friends with, he had to pick the one person Seonghyeon couldn't stand. Wasn't there some sort of unspoken rule against being friends with someone your best friend hates?

And annoyingly, Seonghyeon knows Martin well enough that the blond wouldn't keep someone around if they had done something to his friend. If Juhoon were genuinely cruel, Martin wouldn't defend him so casually.

This leaves Seonghyeon with a problem he doesn't particularly like admitting to; Juhoon hasn't actually done anything wrong. He just hates him, for whatever reason.

He looks down at his plate, finding it considerably emptier than it had been a few minutes ago, thanks to the thief sitting across from him.

“I don't hate him,” he mutters “I don't even know him like that.”

“Right.”

He bites the inside of his cheek and drops his face into his hands with a quiet groan, rubbing his eyes as though doing so will somehow make the entire conversation disappear.

“Do you think I'm being ridiculous?”

Martin pauses. “About what?”

“About him.” Seonghyeon lifts his head and gestures vaguely towards Juhoon's table. “I don't even know why he gets on my nerves so much. I just see him and–”

He stops, not sure how to explain it without sounding crazy and irrational, though he knows that's what it is.

It's the way Juhoon carries himself. The way people automatically make room for him, or the way he can sit anywhere doing absolutely nothing and still look like he belongs at the center of everyone's attention.

“I don't know.” Seonghyeon finally admits. “He just annoys me.”

Martin chews away at his fry, “I think you worry too much.” He points the fry at Seonghyeon, “And I think you should give him a chance.”

Seonghyeon's expression immediately sours, “Why?”

“He's a great guy once you know him.”

Seonghyeon glances back at Juhoon's table. He doesn't look particularly interesting from here.

⋆˙⟡

As much as Martin wants to preach otherwise, Kim Juhoon is not a great guy. Seonghyeon is sure of it.

Great guys didn't tell you to ‘watch where you're going’ when you accidentally bumped into them, then look at you like you'd personally offended them when you apologized.

It had happened earlier that week.

Seonghyeon had been turning a corner in the hallway, distracted by papers in his hands, ones he had been given the task of bringing to a teacher, when he'd walked straight into someone. His shoulder had knocked against the other person's chest hard enough to send a few papers flying.

“Shit– sorry,” Seonghyeon had said immediately, crouching to pick them up.

“Watch where you're going.”

He'd looked up.

Seonghyeon remembered the way he had stared down at him, face blank and devoid of emotion, his dark eyes giving absolutely nothing away. He hadn't even bothered with the fake, polite smile people usually gave when they wanted to make it clear that everything was fine.

“He's just blunt,” Martin had argued when Seonghyeon told him about it. “He probably didn't mean it like that.”

The three of them were in Seonghyeon's bedroom, Martin comfortably sprawled across the floor with a textbook abandoned somewhere beside him, while Seonghyeon sat against the headboard of his bed with Keonho. Martin had originally offered to come over and help the younger boys study for an upcoming math test, which soon enough derailed into everyone giving up and scrolling on social media instead, before Seonghyeon had started complaining about he-who-shall-not-be-named. 

Keonho, who had been scrolling through his phone, hummed thoughtfully, “Seonghyeonie's blunt too,” he said, looking up, “but he's not rude.”

Seonghyeon threw both hands up, “Thank you, Keonho!” Martin only pouted from his spot on the floor.

“Maybe he was just having a bad day.”

“Why do you keep defending him?” Keonho groaned, dropping his phone onto the mattress.

“I'm not, I'm just trying to look at it from his side!”

Martin sighed and looked toward the ceiling as though asking for patience. Keonho went still.

Seonghyeon immediately noticed the way his eyes widened. “What?”

Keonho slowly sat upright, turning towards him with a highly exaggerated expression, “Does he–” He lowered his voice dramatically, turning to the blond, “Do you have a crush on him?”

For several seconds, nobody said anything. Then, Martin covered his face with one hand and groaned while Seonghyeon smacked Keonho's arm.

“Keonho, what the hell–”

“Never say that shit again,” Seonghyeon hissed.

“I'm just asking!”

“You're asking stupid questions.”

Seonghyeon turned to Martin, only to find him still lying on the floor with his hands over his red face. For some reason, the question lingered.

Martin having a crush on Juhoon? The idea was so absurd that Seonghyeon almost laughed. But the longer he thought about it, it seemed more and more plausible.

“But,” he said slowly, unable to resist, “are you in love with him?”

Martin blindly reached behind his head, grabbed the first thing his fingers found, and threw it. The abandoned pencil case narrowly missed Seonghyeon's head.

“I'm not in love with Juhoon–what the hell? He's my friend!”

Martin finally sat up, planting his palms against the floor and stared at the two boys on the bed.

“Listen,” he started, his voice losing its usual joking tone, “I don't know what his problem with you is,” his eyes settled on Seonghyeon, “But i'll talk to him about it.”

Seonghyeon blinked. He hadn't considered that.

“You will?” Martin nodded.

“I'll ask him what's going on. And I'll make sure he understands that if something bothers him, he can talk to you about it like a normal person.”

Seonghyeon looked at him for a moment before glancing at Keonho, the other boy already watching him expectantly and waiting for his response.

“Okay.” Seonghyeon said eventually. “You should do that.”

“And,” Keonho added, “if he doesn't stop, I will literally beat him up. You know i can do it.”

Martin snorted, shaking his head.

⋆˙⟡

Seonghyeon is shoving the last of his things into his locker when he hears footsteps slow to a stop beside him. Expecting Keonho, he closes the locker door and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees who it is.

“What the fu–”

“You're Seonghyeon, right?”

Seonghyeon stares. Aside from bumping into each other, this is the first time they've ever been this close.

He'd seen Juhoon plenty of times before, obviously. Whether it'd be in the cafeteria or in the halls, surrounded by people who seemed to naturally gravitate towards the boy. Never like this.

His skin is annoyingly clear, without a single blemish to taint it. His dark hair falling neatly across his forehead without a single strand looking out of place. The school uniform sits perfectly, as if it had been tailored specifically for him to wear rather than pulled from the same pile of standardized clothes everyone else was forced to wear.

Seonghyeon clears his throat and straightens, “I am.”

Juhoon studies him for a moment, expression almost indifferent, his eyes moving briefly over Seonghyeon's face before dropping onto his clothes.

Seonghyeon rarely bothers wearing the school-issued shirts and blouses. Sometimes he wears whatever shirt he'd managed to steal from Keonho, and other days he shows up in one of his own hoodies. Today it's his favorite striped shirt underneath a jacket. He respects the dress code enough to wear the usual uniform pants though, unlike Martin, who had long since stopped pretending the rules applied to him. He regularly shows up in graphic tees and ripped jeans without even bothering to carry his school jacket with him in case a teacher were to stop him for it.

Juhoon's gaze eventually returns to Seonghyeon's face, “I've been told you have a problem with me.”

Seonghyeon blinks, and for a second he doesn't understand. Then his eyebrows draw together.

“I have a problem with you?”

Juhoon gives a small nod. “That's what I've heard.”

Annoyingly, Seonghyeon doesn't believe that's the way Martin had phrased it.

“I don't.” He lies. “You were acting like an asshole.”

Juhoon's eyebrow lifts slightly, “Was I?”

“Yes.” Seonghyeon folds his arms, “The hell was that attitude for?”

“You bumped into me.”

“And I apologized.”

Juhoon watches him, unable to come up with a defense. “You did.”

Silence stretches between them. Seonghyeon stares at him, waiting for an explanation that doesn't seem to come. “Are you going to say something?”

“What do you want me to say?” 

Juhoon's expression remains blank. Seonghyeon's jaw tightens. He looks away, pretending to be far more interested in his locker than he actually is. “Whatever,” he yanks the locker door shut harder than necessary. “Fucking asshole.”

For the first time, something shifts in Juhoon's expression. A faint crease appears between his eyebrows. Seonghyeon expects a response. An insult, maybe.

Juhoon simply steps around him.

“Have a good day.” Their shoulders nearly brush as he passes. Seonghyeon watches him go, appalled.

Martin's intervention had done nothing.

⋆˙⟡

Being a grade below Martin means that Seonghyeon and Keonho don't share many classes with him. None, actually, except for P.E.

Most days, Seonghyeon doesn't mind it. It means he gets to avoid Martin's habit of talking through every lesson and stealing his things whenever he gets bored. Today, however, he finds himself wishing that class would end sooner.

He and Keonho are sitting in the grass at the edge of the field, watching their classmates run laps under the scorching afternoon sun. The air is thick and the grass beneath them is warm enough that Seonghyeon can feel it burning into his ass.

His attention drifts aimlessly across the field until Martin suddenly spots them. The blond lifts a hand in recognition and changes direction, jogging toward them, Juhoon right beside him.

Seonghyeon's stomach tightens before he can stop it.

Martin drops down in front of them, breathing a little harder from the run but otherwise looking remarkably unaffected.

“There you two are. I've been looking for you.”

Seonghyeon looks up, ready to answer, but the words never come. His attention was already stolen by the person standing beside Martin.

Juhoon doesn't look like the Juhoon Seonghyeon is used to seeing.

The neat school uniform is gone, replaced by black athletic shorts and a plain white t-shirt, the sleeves sitting bunched up around his upper arms. His hair is no longer perfectly arranged either, several strands stuck to his forehead with a faint sheen of sweat on his skin.

It's the best he's ever looked, and Seonghyeon hates that the thought occurs to him.

After a moment, he realizes that Juhoon's attention is on him, watching him with a faintly puzzled expression. They hold each other's gaze before the older shortly shifts his attention onto Keonho.

Keonho has his bottle of water tipped so far upward that half of it is running down his chin and soaking the front of his shirt.

Good lord.

Juhoon is probably judging the boy right now.

He simply watches Keonho for a moment before looking back at Seonghyeon, one eyebrow raised.

Why are you staring at me?

Seonghyeon looks away. His face feels warmer than it should.

“So, what do you think?” Martin's voice pulls him back.

“Wha– huh?”

Martin stares at him, “I've been talking for five minutes.”

Seonghyeon winces, “Sorry.”

“Were you even listening?”

“Yeah.”

Martin narrows his eyes, “What did I say?” 

Seonghyeon opens his mouth and quickly closes it. Keonho snorts beside him, “You weren't listening at all.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Whatever, the other stuff doesn't matter,” Martin shakes his head, “I was asking if you guys wanted to come with us after school. We're going out to eat.”

Keonho perks up, “Where?”

“Don't know yet. Somewhere good.”

“I'm in.”

Martin turns towards Seonghyeon, waiting. Seonghyeon shrugs, “Sure.”

“Great.” Martin pushes himself back to his feet and brushes the grass from his shorts. “Meet us near the gate after school, then.”

He looks at Juhoon, “Let's go back before our teacher starts yelling.”

They turn without another word. Seonghyeon watches them disappear among their classmates. Only when they're several meters away does he realize he's still looking. He drops his gaze to the grass.

He doesn't know why he keeps doing that.

⋆˙⟡

The final bell rings hours later, and Seonghyeon finds himself waiting near the school gates with Keonho, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket. 

Keonho glances at the school entrance. “You think they're coming?”

“Yeah.”

“You sound sure.”

Seonghyeon looks at him. “Martin wouldn't dip on us.” Keonho only hums, satisfied.

A familiar blond head appears among the crowd. Juhoon is walking beside him, his school bag slung casually over one shoulder.

“Hey,” Martin says as they approach. “Sorry. Teacher kept us.”

They start toward the main street, the conversation falling into its usual rhythm between the established friend group. Seonghyeon stays mostly quiet, walking beside Keonho while Martin and Juhoon trail a little ahead. Every now and then, Martin says something that makes Juhoon answer with a short remark.

Seonghyeon tries not to listen.

Eventually, they settle on a small restaurant tucked between a convenience store and a pharmacy. It's nothing special from the outside, but the inside is warm and quiet, only a couple of occupied tables.

They slide into a booth.

Martin and Keonho immediately begin arguing over what to order, leaving Seonghyeon sitting across from Juhoon. He feels mildly uncomfortable.

Seonghyeon isn't sure what to make of him. Their little confrontation at the lockers had gone nothing like he'd expected, and now they're sitting across from each other as though none of it happened.

Seonghyeon opens the menu and fixes his attention on it.

“So,” Martin says, “what are y'all getting?” 

“Chicken,” Keonho answers immediately.

“Did you even look at the menu?”

Keonho comfortably lays his arms over his head, looking smug, “I don't need to.”

Martin rolls his eyes before looking at Seonghyeon. “You?”

“Probably the same.”

Juhoon glances up from his menu. “You always get that?”

Seonghyeon looks at him. “Yeah.”

Juhoon doesn't say anything else. Seonghyeon frowns.

Their food arrives not long afterward. The conversation becomes a lot easier once everyone has something in front of them.

Martin starts telling a story about a teacher nearly catching him asleep during class. Keonho insists that he could've gotten away with it, which leads to an argument over whether Martin had actually been asleep or just pretending. Seonghyeon listens, occasionally adding a word of his own. At some point he's laughing despite himself.

Juhoon doesn't say much and mostly listens. Every so often, Seonghyeon catches him smiling at something Martin says. They're small expressions, barely there before they disappear again, but they're largely different from the impassive look Seonghyeon is used to seeing at school.

At school, Juhoon always seems so distant, almost untouchable. Here, sitting across the table with his sleeves pushed up and hair slightly disheveled from a long day, he seems less intimidating and more ordinary.

Not nice, though. Seonghyeon isn't ready to give him that much.

Martin suddenly reaches over the table and steals a piece of Seonghyeon's food.

“Dude.”

“You weren't eating it.”

“I was about to,” he grumbles.

Martin grins and eats it anyway. Seonghyeon sighs, reaching for his drink. 

“You let him do that?”

Juhoon's voice makes him look up, “What?”

Juhoon gestures to Martin with his chopsticks. “Steal your food.”

“He does it all the time.”

“You should stop him.”

Seonghyeon gives a short, disbelieving laugh, “You wanna tell him that?”

Juhoon looks toward Martin, “Give it back.”

Martin snorts, “No.”

Juhoon considers him for half a second before shrugging and returning to his food. Seonghyeon stares at him.

“That was fucking useless.”

“I know.”

A laugh spills out of Seonghyeon before he can stop it. It's quiet, but Juhoon's eyes lift immediately. He watches the other for a moment before looking down at his own drink, hiding what is unmistakably an amused smile.

⋆˙⟡

It's three in the morning, and Seonghyeon cannot sleep.

He should put his phone away. He knows staring at a screen in his otherwise pitch black room isn't going to help in any way, and that he'll regret staying awake when his alarm goes off in a few hours. Either way, he's been lying in bed for nearly an hour, mindlessly scrolling through social media and occasionally letting out a quiet laugh at something stupid enough to amuse him. The rest of the house is silent.

Then a notification appears at the top of his screen.

@kimjuhoon has liked your post.

Seonghyeon stops scrolling and stares at the text at the very top of his screen. Then he sits up slightly.

“The hell?” He taps the notification. Instagram opens to a post from three months ago.

Three photos.

The first is a mirror selfie Seonghyeon had taken before leaving the house. The second is a picture of Martin's TV, taken from the very back of his bed while the blond played video games. The third is an incredibly unflattering picture of Keonho mid-sentence, eyes comically wide. Seonghyeon doesn't remember what his friend had been talking so passionately about.

He frowns.

Why was Juhoon on his profile? They don't even follow each other.

He shuts his phone off and drops it onto the mattress. Whatever. It doesn't matter. He rolls onto his side and closes his eyes. Who cares.

Twenty seconds pass. His hand reaches for his phone again.

“Damn it.” Before he can stop himself, he's tapping on Juhoon's profile.

His profile photo is a carefully taken half body shot, the older boy standing in front of a sunset with the orange sky glowing behind him. Seonghyeon looks at his own profile photo at the very bottom corner of his screen. A random, slightly blurry selfie he'd taken without much thought. He moves on, clicking on Juhoon's most recent post.

It's a video, dated a month ago, of Juhoon playing the piano.

The song is vaguely familiar, something Seonghyeon has probably heard before, but doesn't know the name of. Juhoon's hands move over the keys without hesitation, posture relaxed despite how complex the piece seems, though it's not like Seonghyeon would really know.

He scrolls down.

The next post is a fit pic. Juhoon stands in front of a full-length mirror, wearing a dark shirt and jeans, his phone obscuring most of his face. It's a simple outfit, the boy's proportions making it look a lot nicer than it really is. He scrolls again.

Food.

A sunset.

A group picture with several people Seonghyeon vaguely recognizes from school.

The further down he goes, the less the account resembles the person Seonghyeon has conjured up in his head. There are pictures from school events, places the boy has visited, group photos, random scenery, friends.

Some of the pictures aren't even particularly good. One is badly framed, another is blurry. There are a few where someone has clearly taken the photo without telling him. Then something catches his attention. 

It's a selfie – Juhoon's hair is sticking up in several directions, his expression completely blank.

A quiet laugh escapes him, “Oh my God.”

He gazes at it for a few more seconds before scrolling back to the top of Juhoon's profile. The follow button looks as if it's glowing. His thumb hovers over it, tempted.

He presses it.

Following.

The magic is quickly broken and his stomach drops.

“What am I doing?” He immediately taps it again, locking his phone and throwing it onto the other side of the bed. He closes his eyes again.

A second passes. Then two, five, until the phone vibrates. He reaches over.

@kimjuhoon has started following you.

“Oh, come on.”

⋆˙⟡

The next morning, Seonghyeon regrets ever owning a phone. He regrets social media, regrets staying awake until three in the morning, and most of all, regrets following Kim Juhoon.

It was a stupid decision made while he was half asleep, fueled by curiosity and zero good judgment. He'd unfollowed almost instantly, so it should have been over. Except Juhoon had followed him back.

Now Seonghyeon is standing at his locker, staring blankly into it while his mind replays the notification from last night for what feels like the hundredth time.

He shuts his locker a little harder than necessary. The poor locker has been suffering recently.

“Why are you slamming that?”

He nearly jumps. Martin is standing beside him, looking mildly amused.

“Misjudged my strength.”

“You look like you haven't slept.”

“I haven't.”

Martin raises an eyebrow, “Why?”

Seonghyeon shrugs, “Just couldn't.”

They start walking down the hallway together. Seonghyeon tries to focus on literally anything other than the fact that Juhoon's account is sitting in his following list.

Then Martin stops, “Oh, there he is.”

Seonghyeon's stomach drops. Juhoon is walking towards them from the other end of the hallway, talking to someone from his class. He looks exactly as he always does – neat uniform, hair in place, expression calm.

Seonghyeon looks down at the floor as Juhoon gradually gets closer. Maybe if he acts normal, Juhoon won't say anything, and pretend last night never happened. Maybe–

“Morning.”

He glances over. Juhoon is looking at him.

“Morning,” Martin responds easily. Seonghyeon manages a quieter ‘yeah’.

Juhoon gives a small nod and continues walking with Martin. Seonghyeon watches them leave. No mention of Instagram, no strange look, nothing. He should be relieved. Instead, he's annoyed. He spends the entire morning expecting something, and Juhoon doesn't even acknowledge it.

By lunch, Seonghyeon has almost convinced himself that the whole thing was insignificant.

He's sitting with Martin and Keonho when Juhoon joins them, dropping onto the empty seat beside Martin. Seonghyeon swiftly looks down at his food. Martin starts talking about something that happened in class, and Seonghyeon listens half-heartedly. Then Juhoon speaks.

“You have a lot of pictures of Keonho.”

Seonghyeon's head snaps up, “What?” Juhoon is looking at him.

“On Instagram.”

Keonho turns to Seonghyeon while Martin's expression becomes suspiciously entertained. Seonghyeon feels heat creep up his neck.

“You went through my account?”

Juhoon shrugs, “You went through mine.”

“I didn't–”

“You did.”

“I didn't go through it.”

Juhoon gives him a knowing look. He had, infact, gone through Juhoon's account, there isn't really a convincing argument against that.

“Why did you follow me?” He stares at the older instead. Juhoon doesn't reply, just sips on his drink instead.

Martin is fully grinning now, “Y'all are weird.”

Almost as an afterthought, Juhoon says, “Your posts are funny. Especially the one with Keonho.”

The latter boy immediately looks offended, “Why does everyone talk about that picture?”

“You looked stupid,” Juhoon says. Keonho glares at him.

Martin and Seonghyeon, on the other hand, burst out laughing. Juhoon's mouth twitches, quickly looking back down at his food as though nothing happened.

⋆˙⟡

By the end of the week, Seonghyeon has started to notice a pattern. Whenever he goes looking for Martin, Juhoon is there.

The first time, Seonghyeon assumes it's a coincidence.

The second time, he tells himself that Martin probably invited him.

By the third time, he's beginning to suspect that Kim Juhoon has somehow decided to make himself a permanent figure in Martin's life, which admittedly, is ridiculous. Martin has been friends with Juhoon longer than Seonghyeon has even known his name. Of course they're going to spend time together.

He spots Martin on a bench outside the school building, his backpack thrown beside him. Seonghyeon speeds toward him, already reaching for his phone to let him know he's there. Then he notices the person sitting next to him.

He stops walking. For a brief moment, he even considers turning around. Pretend he hadn't seen them, go find Keonho instead, and maybe get something from the vending machine and wait until Juhoon leaves.

He keeps walking.

“You two come as a package now?” He says when he gets close enough, heads snapping toward him at different speeds. Martin pulls him into a handshake.

“Hey, man.”

Juhoon doesn't say anything, only glancing at him for a moment before turning all attention back to his phone, waiting for the two to finish greeting each other.

“Ah– wait,” Martin hastily pulls his phone out, thumbs moving across the screen before his lips settle into a frown.

Juhoon looks up, “What's wrong?”

Martin bites his lip, giving himself a few seconds before replying, “I, uh, promised I'd help someone with something.”

Both Juhoon and Seonghyeon look at him.

“Now?”

The blond grimaces, “Yeah, my bad.” He gets to his feet, already slinging his backpack over his shoulder, “I'll be back in a bit.”

“Y–you're actually leaving?”

Martin is already running back to the school building, “I'll be quick, I promise!” Seonghyeon gawks.

He looks at Juhoon, who is still staring at his phone, playing some stupid repetitive mobile game.

Fine. He can sit here for a few minutes.

The silence starts getting uncomfortable after a while.

Seonghyeon shifts in his seat, “You're really quiet.”

Juhoon's eyes remain glued on his phone, “You're really not.”

Okay.

Seonghyeon frowns, “I'm not that talkative.” Juhoon doesn't say anything else for a few minutes.

Then he speaks again. “Do you think I'm fake?”

Seonghyeon goes still. This was the last thing he expected to come out of his mouth. He turns to Juhoon, “Huh?”

“You said you thought I was fake.”

Seonghyeon remembers. He hadn't told Juhoon that directly. He'd said it to Martin, long before they'd properly spoken. Apparently Martin had mentioned that too. He looks down at his hands.

“I don't know.”

Juhoon waits, and Seonghyeon feels inclined to continue, “I thought you were.”

“And now?”

He shrugs, “I don't know you well enough.” Juhoon nods slowly.

“Fair.”

Seonghyeon watches him. He doesn't seem offended. For some reason, that catches the younger off guard.

“You're not going to argue?”

“What do you expect me to do?”

Seonghyeon pouts, “Defend yourself, I don't know. Why you're not fake, or something.”

Juhoon hums, “You're allowed to think whatever you want.” Seonghyeon doesn't have an answer for that.

Maybe Martin had been right.

Maybe Juhoon wasn't–

“Although,” he adds, “you do seem to spend a lot of time thinking about me for someone who doesn't like me.”

Nevermind. There it is.

The irritation returns instantly “You're unbelievable.”

Juhoon's mouth twitches.

Martin comes back a few minutes later to find the two of them sitting on opposite ends of the bench, neither speaking.

“What'd I miss?”

Seonghyeon stands, “Nothing. You took too long. Let's go.”

Martin follows and Juhoon gets up behind them. As they start walking, Seonghyeon hears him say quietly,

“You really do talk a lot.”

Seonghyeon turns around.

“Fuck off.”

Juhoon walks past him, and Seonghyeon could swear he's smiling.

⋆˙⟡

A few days later, Seonghyeon finds himself standing outside a classroom he's never been inside before with absolutely no idea why he's there.

He'd gone looking for Martin, the blond having texted him during lunch asking if he could bring him the notebook he'd left in Seonghyeon's bag, and Seonghyeon had agreed without thinking much of it. Except Martin isn't here.

Seonghyeon checks his phone again.

Seonghyeon: where are you

The message sits unanswered. He leans against the wall and waits.

Students from upper grades gradually begin walking through the halls. Seonghyeon recognizes a few of them, but none are Martin. Then someone walks out of the classroom.

Juhoon notices him a second later, his expression shifting slightly.

“What are you doing here?”

Seonghyeon straightens, “Waiting for Martin.”

“He's not here.”

“I figured.”

Juhoon adjusts the strap of his bag, “He left a few minutes ago.”

Seonghyeon stares at him. “He did?”

“Yeah.”

“And he didn't tell me?”

Juhoon shrugs, “Probably forgot.”

Seonghyeon looks down at his phone. Of course he did. He pushes himself off the wall, “Whatever.”

He starts walking toward the lobby. After a few steps, he hears footsteps behind him and glances over his shoulder. Juhoon is following.

Seonghyeon slows, “You coming?”

“I have to go that way.”

“Oh.”

They continue walking. For a while, neither says anything.

It's not as awkward anymore.

A week ago, being alone with Juhoon would have made him feel like clawing his eyes out. Now, he walks beside him without feeling like every second is unbearable.

He glances over. Juhoon is looking at his phone.

“You're always on that thing.”

“Mm.”

Seonghyeon doesn't bother saying anything else. Eventually he stops near a staircase.

“I'm going this way.”

“Okay.”

Seonghyeon hesitates and he doesn't know why. He breathes, “See you.”

Juhoon watches him ascend up the stairs, “See you.”

By the time he reaches his classroom, he's already decided the whole interaction meant nothing. And if Seonghyeon catches himself checking Instagram later that evening to see whether Juhoon has posted anything new, that's completely unrelated.

⋆˙⟡

Juhoon didn't think much about Seonghyeon at first.

Martin had mentioned the boy before they ever properly spoke. Usually in passing, usually with some complaint about how Seonghyeon was convinced Juhoon was an asshole. Juhoon found it mildly confusing, he'd barely interacted with the guy.

Then Seonghyeon started glaring at him in the hallways. That made it harder not to notice him.

Now, a couple weeks later, Juhoon has started noticing things without really meaning to.

Seonghyeon always takes the same seat when they're eating together. He picks the spicy chicken if it's available, drinks too quickly when he's thirsty, then complains that his stomach hurts afterward. He steals food from Martin and Keonho, but gets annoyed whenever either of them does the same.

Juhoon doesn't know why he remembers these things. He only realizes how much he's noticed when the four of them stop at a convenience store after school. Martin and Keonho are arguing over what snacks to buy. Seonghyeon stands in front of the drinks, scanning the shelves. Juhoon watches for a moment before reacting past him.

“You don't want that one.”

Seonghyeon looks at him with a puzzled hum. Juhoon points at the bottle in his hand, “That.”

Seonghyeon looks down at it, “Why not?”

“You don't like it.”

“Not really.” A pause, “How do you know that?”

“You said it.”

“When?”

“A while ago. I don't remember.”

Seonghyeon looks at the bottle for another second before putting it back, then reaches for another one.

“This?”

Juhoon glances at it. “Yeah.”

Seonghyeon doesn't say anything, just stares at him for a few seconds before turning back towards the shelves. Juhoon watches him pick up the drink. For some reason, he looks slightly uncomfortable. Juhoon doesn't understand why.

He turns to Martin, who is still standing several aisles away, arguing with Keonho about something that apparently requires both of them to speak at the same time.

“Are you getting anything else?”

Seonghyeon shakes his head, “No.”

They walk toward the register together. Juhoon doesn't remember making a decision to start paying attention to Seonghyeon. It happened gradually, somewhere between Martin talking about him and Seonghyeon glaring across the cafeteria and the first time they actually spoke.

At first, Juhoon had mostly been curious. He wanted to know what he had supposedly done to deserve such dislike.

Then, he'd realized that Seonghyeon was easier to read than he thought. When he was annoyed, it showed immediately. When he was embarrassed, he talked faster. It was difficult not to notice.

He notices when Seonghyeon isn't around, too.

He isn't sure what to make of it.

⋆˙⟡

Martin is the one who brings it up, because who else is there.

They've stayed behind after school, sitting on the steps outside the gym while they wait for the rest of their friends to finish. The afternoon has cooled considerably, and the field beyond them is almost empty now, the noise of students leaving gradually fading into the distance.

Martin is scrolling through his phone when he suddenly laughs.

“Seonghyeon still thinks you're arrogant.”

Juhoon glances at him, “I know.”

Martin looks up, clearly expecting more of a reaction, “That doesn't bother you?”

Juhoon thinks about it. “Not really.”

“You've never wondered why?”

“I have.”

“And?”

Juhoon shrugs. “I'm not sure.”

Martin laughs under his breath, “He's been like that since before you two even talked.”

“I know.”

“You know everything about this guy, apparently.”

Juhoon gives him a look. Martin grins, “I'm serious. He used to complain about you constantly. I don't even think he'd spoken to you more than twice.”

“I noticed.”

“You know what he said yesterday?”

“Mm.”

Martin's grin widens as he leans in. “He said you're not fake anymore.”

Juhoon is quiet. It's such a small change that he doesn't know what to make of it.

“Really?”

“Yup.” Martin puts his phone away. “He still thinks you're annoying, though.”

Juhoon looks at the field, “That sounds more like him.” Martin laughs.

“He was actually trying to explain it to me. He said he doesn't think you're a bad person. He just thinks you're…” He pauses, trying to remember the exact words. “Apparently you look at people like you're judging them.”

Juhoon raises an eyebrow, “Do I?”

“Sometimes.”

“I don't mean to.”

“I know, don't worry.” Martin leans back against the step behind him. “He also said you make him feel like he's being stupid.”

Juhoon frowns, “I've never said he was stupid.”

“I'd hope so.”

“Then why does he think that?” Martin doesn't have an answer to that.

Juhoon looks down at his hands. He'd always known that Seonghyeon didn't like him, that wasn't new. What is new is the idea that his opinion has changed at all. For weeks, Seonghyeon had looked at him like there was something fundamentally wrong with him.

Now, apparently, he doesn't think Juhoon is as fake as he'd originally portrayed him to be. Maybe that's something.

“Does he still hate me?” Juhoon asks.

Martin laughs, “Now, I didn't say all that.”

“You kind of implied it.”

“He said you're annoying.”

“I know that already.”

“No, he doesn't hate you.”

Juhoon looks away again. For some reason, he finds himself thinking about Seonghyeon's expression whenever he's irritated. The way his eyebrows pull together, or the way he argues over things that probably aren't worth arguing about. He always seems to have something to say, even when he has no idea what he's talking about.

Martin nudges his shoulder, “You know, you're smiling.” Juhoon's expression immediately settles.

“I'm not.”

“You were.” The taller looks too smug for Juhoon's liking, “You like him.”

“Nope.” The answer comes too quickly, and Martin's smile fades into something more knowing.

“I didn't mean it like that.” He waits a second before continuing, “I mean, you don't seem to mind him.”

Juhoon looks toward the school building. Through one of the windows, he can see students moving around inside. Somewhere in there, Seonghyeon is probably still waiting for Keonho, or complaining about something, or talking too loudly to someone who didn't ask.

“You're right,” Juhoon says eventually, “I don't.”

Martin nods, “That's what I thought.”

Juhoon doesn't think much of the conversation after that. He tries not to.

But later, when he sees Seonghyeon walking down the hallway with Keonho, he notices him almost immediately. The younger doesn't notice him at first.

He's talking animatedly, gesturing with one hand while Keonho listens. His expression changes every few seconds as he tells whatever story has him so invested. Juhoon watches it for a moment. Then Seonghyeon looks up and their eyes meet.

His expression changes almost instantly, a flash of irritation. Seonghyeon's eyes narrow slightly, and Juhoon nearly smiles.

Annoying.

He looks away first.

⋆˙⟡

Juhoon is lying in bed, half-heartedly scrolling through Instagram while a song plays on his phone. He isn't really paying attention to what he's looking at or even listening to, his playlist long having finished and having begun auto-playing songs he's never even heard of.

A notification catches his attention.

@seonghyeooon liked your post.

The post in question is old when he checks. Old enough that it isn't something that would normally appear while scrolling.

He gets the same notification two more times.

Huh.

He taps on Seonghyeon's profile, scrolling through it for a moment, mostly looking at the same things he'd already seen when Seonghyeon first followed him and he quickly followed back.

He clicks on the Message button and starts typing.

kimjuhoon: You okay?

He receives a reply about five seconds later.

seonghyeooon: what

kimjuhoon: You've liked three of my posts

A longer pause this time.

seonghyeooon: I DID NOT

kimjuhoon: You did

The typing indicator appears before quickly disappearing and appearing again.

seonghyeooon: insta is glitching

kimjuhoon: Is it

seonghyeooon: yea

seonghyeooon: obviously

seonghyeooon: why would i be stalking your accoujt

Juhoon looks at the last message for a moment, deciding against pointing out that Seonghyeon has essentially admitted to exactly what he's denying.

kimjuhoon: Okay

seonghyeooon: thats it???????

kimjuhoon: What else should I say?

seonghyeooon: idk

seonghyeooon: accuse me of stalking u or somethign

Juhoon snorts at the contradiction.

kimjuhoon: Are you stalking me?

seonghyeooon: like i said, no

seonghyeooon: i was looking at One thing

kimjuhoon: Three things, apparently

seonghyeooon: sybau

Juhoon laughs quietly. He doesn't know why this is so entertaining. Maybe it's because Seonghyeon is exactly as easy to read through text as he is in person, and because Juhoon can practically hear the irritation in his messages.

kimjuhoon: Which post were you looking for?

seonghyeooon: none

kimjuhoon: Then why did you like them

seonghyeooon: I SAID IT WAS A GLITCH

kimjuhoon: Alright

kimjuhoon: Goodnight, Seonghyeon

seonghyeooon: ?????

seonghyeooon: gn

Juhoon looks at the last message for a few moments longer than necessary before shutting his phone off.

⋆˙⟡

Juhoon notices Seonghyeon has been quiet for the past ten minutes. He's sitting with Martin and Keonho, still looking at his phone whenever the conversation dies down, occasionally responding when someone speaks to him. But he's not really present.

His attention keeps drifting to the other side of the courtyard. Juhoon follows his gaze.

Three boys from Seonghyeon's year are standing near the fence. Juhoon recognizes two of them. They're the kind of people who are always talking too loudly, always looking for someone to make fun of.

He watches one of them look at Seonghyeon, saying something that makes the rest laugh. Seonghyeon's own expression changes just barely when Juhoon turns to him. His shoulders tense and his thumb stops moving across his phone.

Juhoon looks at the boys again. He can't hear what they're saying from here until one of them raises his voice.

“Didn't know Eom was into boys.”

Seonghyeon goes completely still. They clearly notice.

“Clinging to Park everywhere he goes like a wet fucking dog.”

They're lucky Martin doesn't hear them, too absorbed in his conversation with Keonho, otherwise the taller man would've sent the three of them flying across the yard already.

Juhoon feels something in his chest tighten, and before he knows it he's standing. 

Seonghyeon looks up at him, “Where are you going?”

He doesn't answer, crossing the courtyard. The boys notice him approaching. One of them straightens slightly.

“Kim, hey.”

Juhoon stops in front of them. “What were you saying?”

One of them gives him an unimpressed look while the other two look away, clearly uncomfortable with being confronted.

“We weren't talking about you.”

“You were talking about my friend. What was it?”

The boy laughs, and Juhoon thinks he hears quiet snickers from the other two as well.

“What, you gonna do something about it?”

Juhoon stares blankly. He lifts his hand, pointing his thumb backward to where his friends are sitting, “I can let Martin handle you if you really want.”

For the first time, the boys seemed uncertain, “We were joking.”

Juhoon doesn't back away. Instead, he steps closer, breaching their space with a low voice, “You don't talk about him like that again, understood?”

They stare at him for several seconds before turning and walking away. Juhoon watches them leave. With a sigh, he eventually turns and walks back himself. He hadn't realized that his hands were clenched.

Seonghyeon is watching him from where he sits. So are Martin and Keonho. He sits down beside them.

“You didn't have to do that.” Seonghyeon speaks quietly.

“I wanted to, they were bothering you.”

Seonghyeon frowns, confused and a little shaken. Strangely, Juhoon feels something tug at his heart at the sight.

“Forget about them.”

Seonghyeon studies his face, and after a moment, he nods, “Okay,” before quietly adding, “thank you.”

⋆˙⟡

The cut isn't serious, Juhoon barely notices it at first.

It happened during P.E., when he'd caught his hand against the edge of one of the metal benches while moving it out of the way. It's nothing more than a shallow scrape across his knuckles, already beginning to dry by the time he's changed back into his uniform. He doesn't bother cleaning it properly.

By the time he meets Martin and the others after school, he had almost forgotten about it.

They're back on the steps outside the gym, waiting for Keonho to finish talking to his teacher. Martin is scrolling through his phone while Seonghyeon sits next to him, occasionally looking over his shoulder at whatever the taller boy is watching. Juhoon sits a little farther down.

“What's that?” Seonghyeon's voice makes him look over.

He's looking at Juhoon's hand, at the scrape that's started bleeding again.

“Ah,” he exclaims cleverly.

“You're bleeding, Juhoon.”

“I am.”

“You've been sitting there with it like that?”

Juhoon shrugs, “I didn't even feel it.”

A soft sigh, “Give me your hand.”

Seonghyeon is holding his own hand out expectantly. There is something almost comical about how serious he looks.

Juhoon gives him his hand, the younger taking it carefully and turning it over to better look at the scrape. His fingers are warm, Juhoon notes.

“Did you do this during P.E.?”

“Yep. Caught it on a bench.”

Seonghyeon clicks his tongue, “You're supposed to tell the teacher if you get hurt.”

“It doesn't hurt.”

“Not the point.”

Juhoon watches him dig through his bag, “You carry a first-aid kit around?”

“No– hold on.”

After a few seconds, Seonghyeon pulls out a small packet of tissues and a couple of adhesive bandages. This causes Juhoon to raise an eyebrow.

“Why do you have those?”

“Keonho is an idiot who gets himself hurt all the time.” He hears Martin laugh from above.

Seonghyeon carefully wipes the blood from Juhoon's knuckles, his touch gentle enough that Juhoon barely feels it.

“Does that hurt?”

Juhoon shakes his head.

“Alright. Tell me if it does.”

Juhoon watches Seonghyeon's concentrated face while he works. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, his mouth pressed into a thin line as he carefully cleans around the scrape. It's strangely different from the Seonghyeon Juhoon is used to seeing – the one who is always complaining, arguing, or glaring at him. Juhoon finds himself watching for longer than he should.

Seonghyeon notices, a light flush dusting his cheeks, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Then stop staring.”

Juhoon looks away, “Sorry.”

Seonghyeon finishes wrapping the bandage, “There.” Juhoon looks down at it.

It's crooked.

“Thanks.”

“Don't mention it.” Seonghyeon lets go of his hand. The absence of his fingers is very noticeable.

Juhoon flexes his hand once. “It's crooked.”

Seonghyeon immediately looks offended, “You're welcome.”

“I didn't say it was a bad thing.” He could easily move the bandage and fix it. He doesn't.

⋆˙⟡

Seonghyeon doesn't think much about the bandage at first, as it's a stupid thing to remember. Juhoon had scraped his hand, Seonghyeon had cleaned it, and that was it. There was no reason for it to occupy more than a few seconds of his thoughts.

Yet, hours later, Seonghyeon is lying in bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about it again. More specifically, thinking about how quiet Juhoon had gone while Seonghyeon cleaned his hand.

Usually, the boy always has something to say. Even when he's not speaking, he has that irritatingly calm expression that makes Seonghyeon feel like he's being silently judged. This time, he'd just sat there and let Seonghyeon take care of the cut without complaining.

Seonghyeon remembers looking up once and finding Juhoon already watching him.

He rolls onto his side and pulls the blanket higher. It's not a big deal, he does the same for Keonho. 

His phone buzzes on the mattress.

kimjuhoon: Thanks for earlier

He stares at the message. For some reason, his stomach twists.

seonghyeooon: dont get hurt again idiot

kimjuhoon: I'll try

kimjuhoon: You should sleep

Seonghyeon finds himself squinting at his screen.

seonghyeooon: r u telling me wht to do

kimjuhoon: I'm throwing out a suggestion

kimjuhoon: You look tired lately

Seonghyeon thinks back to the last few nights and the hours he's been staying up until. He probably does look tired. That doesn't mean Juhoon of all people has to notice.

seonghyeooon: stop paying attention to me

kimjuhoon: No promises

“Stupid.” He isn't sure whether he's talking about Juhoon or himself at this point.

Eventually, he puts the phone on his nightstand and closes his eyes. The room is quiet, and for once, his mind isn't racing through schoolwork or tomorrow's schedule. Instead, he thinks about Juhoon's hand resting in his.

The warmth of his skin, the slight crease between his eyebrows when Seonghyeon had asked if it hurt, and the way he'd trusted him to take care of it.

Seonghyeon isn't sure how he feels anymore.

His phone buzzes one last time.

kimjuhoon: Goodnight, Seonghyeon

seonghyeooon: goodnight 

He puts the phone down. This time, he falls asleep

⋆˙⟡

They're sitting outside a convenience store after school, drinks and snacks spread across the small table between them. Martin is halfway through telling some ridiculous story from class, Keonho keeps interrupting him, and Seonghyeon is barely listening.

Juhoon is sitting across from him, holding a cup of iced coffee. He's been unusually quiet.

Not that Seonghyeon minds – silence is probably preferable to whatever annoying comment Juhoon might come up with.

Then Martin says something that makes Juhoon laugh. It's barely even a laugh, more like a quiet exhale through his nose, but it happens as he's taking a sip. He immediately coughs.

The cup slips and coffee splashes onto the front of his shirt.

Martin makes a noise somewhere between a gasp and a laugh, “Oh, shit.” Keonho covers his own mouth beside him, eyes wide in shock and amusement.

Seonghyeon really tries to do the same, but the sight of Juhoon sitting completely frozen, a dark stain seeping into his otherwise neat shirt, is too much. A laugh escapes him.

Juhoon's head snaps up, making him cover his mouth at the last second. “Sorry.”

Juhoon's eyes drop back to his shirt. The expression on his face is difficult to read, but Seonghyeon notices the tips of his ears turning red. He's actually embarrassed.

That realization kills most of Seonghyeon's laughter. He watches as Keonho passes Juhoon a napkin, and he starts awkwardly dabbing at the stain.

“It’ll come out,” Martin says, still fighting a smile, before he adds, “probably. I've never seen you spill anything before.”

Juhoon looks at him with a bored expression, still dabbing away at his shirt, “Congratulations.”

Keonho grins, “I didn't know you were capable of making mistakes.” Juhoon doesn't respond.

Something in Seonghyeon's mind snaps, and before he can think twice, he's grabbing his jacket he'd tossed over his chair and holding it out to Juhoon, silently urging him to cover himself. Juhoon looks at the jacket, then back at him, eyes widening a fraction.

“What?”

“Just–put it on.” His face warms. He pushes the jacket against Juhoon's chest.

The older boy takes the jacket, slipping his arms through the sleeves. It fits him perfectly. Seonghyeon looks at him for a second before quickly looking away.

“No one will know what happened.”

Juhoon hums in agreement, “Thanks.”

By the time they leave the convenience store, the sun has already started sinking behind the buildings. Martin and Keonho walk ahead, arguing about what they should do and where they should go next, while Seonghyeon and Juhoon follow behind them.

Juhoon walking beside him isn't particularly unusual anymore.

Somehow, over the past few weeks, they've stopped treating being around each other like a chore. Seonghyeon still finds him irritating at times, of course. Juhoon has a talent for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, that hasn't changed. But the silence between them has long stopped being uncomfortable.

A group of students come towards them from the opposite direction, taking up most of the pavement. Seonghyeon instinctively moves closer to the edge to let them pass. Juhoon does the same, and their shoulders end up brushing. Seonghyeon barely notices it until it happens again, just a few seconds later.

He glances sideways at Juhoon, the older boy doesn't react. He looks forward again. There's plenty of space between them now. He doesn't know why, but he finds himself becoming aware of the distance.

Another group approaches, and this time there isn't enough room. Seonghyeon moves closer to Juhoon without thinking, their arms pressing together from shoulder to wrist. Neither of them say anything.

The contact lasts only a few seconds before the crowd thins out and Seonghyeon moves away again.

“Why are you walking over there?”

Seonghyeon's head turns, “What?”

Juhoon gestures vaguely at the space between them. “You moved, like, very far away.”

“Who cares.”

They keep walking. Seonghyeon tries to focus on his friends in front of him, but his attention keeps drifting back to the person beside him. 

Get a grip, stop thinking about him.

Juhoon reaches over and takes his hand, pulling the boy toward himself.

“What the fuck?”

Juhoon is holding Seonghyeon's hand. The warmth of his palm against the younger's own is hard not to focus on. Juhoon looks at him.

“You were about to walk into a pole.”

Seonghyeon turns his head back, “Oh.”

It doesn't take long for Juhoon's fingers to let go. Seonghyeon looks down at his own hands which still feel warm from the contact and shoves them both into his pockets.

⋆˙⟡

Seonghyeon doesn't usually hang out with anyone other than Keonho or Martin.

When a classmate Seonghyeon is friendly enough with catches up to him outside the convenience store after school, Seonghyeon doesn't see any reason to turn him down.

They're sitting on a low concrete wall near the school, sharing a bag of chips while Jiho tells him about various things from his life. Some stories make Seonghyeon laugh harder than usual. Neither of them notice the figure standing on the other side of the street.

Juhoon notices them, though.

He'd been on his way home until he noticed Seonghyeon and the guy he was with. He watches them for a moment.

Seonghyeon is laughing. Not the polite little laugh he spots him give people when he's being friendly – he's genuinely amused, leaning slightly toward Jiho as he talks. His eyebrow twitches.

Eventually, the boy checks his phone, “I should go, my bus is in a few minutes.”

Seonghyeon nods, stealing a few chips from the plastic bag, “See you tomorrow.” Jiho gives him a quick wave before leaving.

Juhoon waits until he's well out of sight and moves.

Seonghyeon doesn't notice him until a shadow falls over the pavement in front of him. He looks up.

Juhoon isn't wearing his school uniform, he's dressed simply – a dark hoodie, loose black jeans, and a pair of headphones resting around his neck. His hair is slightly messier than usual, the front naturally falling across his forehead instead of being carefully arranged the way it usually is at school.

Seonghyeon's seen him sweaty after P.E., with messy hair, wearing casual clothes at Martin's house that the blond had sent him pictures of.

Something about seeing him like this, completely outside the familiar setting of school, catches Seonghyeon off guard. He looks really good.

Gorgeous, even.

“What are you doing here?” Seonghyeon asks instead.

“I was walking home.”

Seonghyeon's lips make a slight ‘o’ shape, “You live this way?”

Juhoon blinks. “No.”

Seonghyeon pushes his head out, confused. Unfortunately, Juhoon doesn't have an explanation. His eyes drift toward the direction Jiho left.

“Do you hang out with him often?”

Seonghyeon pushes himself up, ”No.”

A gust of wind blows over them, and Seonghyeon shivers in his thin shirt. Juhoon reaches up and adjusts one side of his headphones.

“Cold?”

“I'm fine.” But he hunches in on himself as he says it.

Juhoon looks at him for another second before taking off his hoodie. Seonghyeon stares.

“What are you doing?”

“Here,” he holds it out.

“I don't need it.”

“Think of it as returning the favor for last time.”

“It's fine, I didn't even think about that.”

Juhoon sighs and steps closer, draping the hoodie over Seonghyeon's shoulders before the other can protest. The fabric is warm and smells faintly of the taller boy. Seonghyeon swallows his pride and pulls it over himself. Fine.

“You look better in it than I do.”

“Yeah, I probably do,” Seonghyeon grumbles.

Juhoon walks past him, “Come on. I'll walk you home.”

Seonghyeon stays unmoving for another moment before he follows.

He keeps his hands tucked into the sleeves of Juhoon's hoodie, partly because they're cold and partly because he doesn't know what else to do with them. The hoodie is slightly big, an unusual fit for the older boy, but it's comfortable. Every now and then, he catches the faint scent of Juhoon's cologne, and each time he becomes painfully aware of what he's wearing. 

“Why are you walking me home?” Juhoon only shrugs.

“Keeping you company.”

Seonghyeon glances at him, “I don't need your company.” A faint smile tugs on Juhoon's lips. Seonghyeon looks away before he can stare at it.

They continue down the street, passing familiar shops and apartment buildings. The sun has almost disappeared now, painting the sky a muted blue. Cars pass occasionally, their headlights sweeping across the pavement.

After a while, Juhoon speaks, “Who's Jiho?”

Seonghyeon looks at him, “You know who he is.”

“I know his name.” Juhoon scratches at his neck, “I mean are you friends or something? Never seen you together before.”

“Not really, no.”

“You seemed close.”

Seonghyeon kicks a small pebble off the pavement, “He's fun, but I don't care for him that much.” He glances at the older boy again, a small smirk forming, “Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Huh.” Seonghyeon bites the inside of his cheek. He can tell Juhoon is bullshitting, but he has no reason to press further.

They continue walking, neither of them speaking for several minutes. Seonghyeon becomes acutely aware of the space between their shoulders. 

Then Juhoon's hand brushes his. When Seonghyeon looks down, he sees that their hands are almost touching. He expects either of them to pull away soon, gauging the older's reaction first.

His fingers slowly curl around Seonghyeon's instead.

A soft, involuntary gasp spills from Seonghyeon's lips when he looks up. Juhoon is watching the road ahead, but there is a faint flush across his ears – he's nervous. The realization makes something inside Seonghyeon feel warm and he doesn't pull away.

Their hands stay together as they walk.

Eventually, they reach Seonghyeon's place, and it's only then that Juhoon lets go. Seonghyeon almost wishes he hadn't.

“You didn't have to walk me all the way.”

“Don't worry about it.” Juhoon gestures at the hoodie, “You can keep that until tomorrow.”

Seonghyeon looks down at himself, grabbing at the hem, “You sure?” 

“Yup.”

“Okay.” He hesitates, “Thanks.”

When he looks up again, Juhoon is watching him with an unusual softness in his eyes that Seonghyeon can't tell if he's only imagining. Shortly, he turns on his heel and starts walking backward.

“Goodnight, Seonghyeon,” Juhoon exclaims over his shoulder.

“...Goodnight.”

He stands there for about a minute, still trying to comprehend everything that has happened. He goes inside.

⋆˙⟡

The first person to notice something ‘wrong’ is Keonho.

It's not something very obvious, Seonghyeon is still Seonghyeon. He complains about school, steals Keonho's snacks without asking, rolls his eyes whenever Martin says something stupid, and has retained pretty much the same mannerisms.

He's become distracted, though.

They've been sitting in the library for almost twenty minutes, supposedly working on an assignment. Keonho has finished his portion already. Martin had decided to tag along, pretending to work on his own assignments while secretly watching videos under the table. Seonghyeon, meanwhile, has been staring at the same question for atleast five minutes.

Keonho looks at him, “Are you gonna answer that?”

Seonghyeon blinks, “What?” Keonho points to his paper. “Oh. Yeah.” He picks up his pencil then puts it down again. Keonho narrows his eyes.

“What's wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“You've been staring at that question forever, it's not that hard.”

“I'm thinking.”

“That's new.”

Seonghyeon looks offended, “Fuck you.” It comes off more like a question.

Keonho smiles, “See? That's more like you.”

Martin looks up from his phone, “What are you two arguing about?”

“Seonghyeon's being weird.”

“Keonho's being weird.”

Both boys look at each other. Martin studies them for a moment.

“Just focus on your work.”

Keonho gawks, “You've been sitting on your phone the entire time!”

“Shh. This is a library.”

Keonho ends up smacking Martin on the head.

The second time, it's more obvious. They're all outside after school when Martin checks his phone.

“Juhoon's tagging along.”

Seonghyeon's head quickly lifts, “Why?” Keonho looks at him, “I mean– why is he coming?”

Martin shrugs, “He's coming with me.”

“Oh.” Seonghyeon looks back down at his phone, Keonho watching him closely. A few minutes later, Juhoon appears at the end of the street.

Seonghyeon notices him before anyone else does, lifting himself off his heels as if trying to get a better look at the figure in the distance. That's what Keonho notices.

He looks at Martin, and Martin looks back at him. Neither of them say anything.

Juhoon approaches, greeting them casually. “Hey.”

Seonghyeon gives him a brief glance. “Hi.”

It's almost normal, except Juhoon's eyes linger on the younger for half a second longer than necessary. Seonghyeon looks away.

Interesting.

Martin and Keonho deliberately walk ahead, leaving Seonghyeon and Juhoon behind. Seonghyeon doesn't notice it at first.

He looks at their backs, “They're doing that on purpose.”

Juhoon keeps his eyes forward, “Probably.”

“Why?”

Juhoon gives him a faintly amused look, “Maybe they're trying to set us up.” Seonghyeon's ears start warming as he performs a fake retching sound.

Up ahead, Martin quietly elbows Keonho. The younger whispers, “See that?”

“I see it.”

“They're being fucking weird, I told you.”

Martin glances back at Juhoon saying something to Seonghyeon. Seonghyeon shoves his shoulder and Juhoon smiles. 

“Since when does Juhoon smile when Seonghyeon insults him?”

Keonho shakes his head, “I don't know, man.”

They walk a few more steps. Then Keonho says quietly, “Do you think they like each other?”

Martin immediately looks at him, “No.”

Keonho frowns, “Why not?”

“Seonghyeon hates him.” Keonho considers this.

“He used to.”

Behind them, Seonghyeon and Juhoon are arguing about something again, though neither sounds particularly angry. In fact, Seonghyeon is smiling.

Martin slowly looks back at Keonho, “...Oh, shit.”

“Exactly,” Keonho grins.

⋆˙⟡

Music shakes the walls, people are packed into every available corner of the house, and someone has already spilled something on the kitchen floor. Martin disappeared almost ten minutes ago, presumably looking for someone he knew, while Keonho is somewhere upstairs.

Seonghyeon has claimed a quiet spot near the edge of the living room, nursing a can of soda with a little something he can't quite name, and watching everyone else around him live their lives. He's perfectly content staying here and wallowing.

That is until he spots Juhoon. The older boy is standing near the kitchen with a few people from school, looking completely at ease despite the chaos around him. Even here, Juhoon somehow looks put together.

He's wearing a dark shirt with the sleeves pushed up his forearms, hair slightly messier than usual. The dim lighting catches the side of his pretty face whenever he turns his head.

Seonghyeon looks away before shortly looking back again. There's a girl standing beside him now.

Seonghyeon recognizes her vaguely. She's in Juhoon's grade, popular enough that he knows her face even if they've never spoken, and she's laughing at something Juhoon said.

Then she touches his arm. Seonghyeon frowns.

Why is that bothering him?

The girl says something else that makes Juhoon smile. Seonghyeon's grip tightens around his flimsy cup. It's when the girl leans closer that Seonghyeon has to force himself to look away. That decision lasts about ten seconds before he looks back, because he just can't help himself. She's still there, but now Juhoon is looking across the room, straight at Seonghyeon. His expression shifts slightly.

Seonghyeon holds his gaze for a moment before dropping it, tipping his head back and drinking. A moment later, someone sits down beside him.

“Having fun?”

Seonghyeon doesn't look over. “Not really.”

“Thought so.”

Seonghyeon glances at him, “Shouldn't you be busy?”

Juhoon purses his plump lips, “With what?” Seonghyeon gestures vaguely towards the kitchen.

“Your little fan club.”

Juhoon looks over his shoulder. The girl is talking to someone else now. He looks back at Seonghyeon, “Jealous?”

Seonghyeon nearly chokes on his drink, “What?’

Juhoon's mouth twitches, “I asked if you're jealous.”

“I get that–why the hell would I be jealous?”

“I don’t know,” Juhoon leans back against the wall, “you’ve been watching us.”

“I was looking around.”

“I don’t believe that.” Juhoon smiles, Seonghyeon going quiet.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Seonghyeon’s face immediately heats, “Come again?”

“I said,” he leans in, “you’re cute.”

Seonghyeon stares at him. Juhoon is clearly enjoying this, and, for once, he’s not even trying to hide it. Seonghyeon looks away, annoyed. “Weirdo.”

A moment passes.

“She wasn’t my type,” Juhoon comments so quietly that Seonghyeon almost misses it.

“Huh?”

“The girl.” Juhoon glances at him, “I wasn’t interested.” Seonghyeon’s heart does an embarrassing little jump. He hates that too.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Juhoon shrugs, “I wanted to.”

Neither of them speak after that. The music continues behind them, conveniently filling the silence.

The party gets louder as the night goes on.

Seonghyeon has lost track of how many times he’s had to squeeze past people just to get from one room to another. The music is loud enough that he can feel it in his chest, and whatever was in his cup from earlier has left him pleasantly warm and a little unsteady.

He finds Martin and Keonho in the kitchen. Juhoon is with them, leaning against the counter and talking to someone once again, though this time Seonghyeon doesn’t recognize the person. When Juhoon notices him, his face softens immediately, “There you are.”

Seonghyeon raises an eyebrow. Juhoon pushes away from the counter and walks over, “You disappeared.”

“I just needed air.”

Juhoon stops directly in front of him. He’s too close, Seonghyeon takes half a step back to make some space, but Juhoon follows him forward.

It flusters the younger, “What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything?”

“You’re standing really close.”

Juhoon looks down at the small gap between them, “Oh.” He doesn’t move. Then his hand lays casually on Seonghyeon’s shoulder, and Seonghyeon freezes. He doesn’t seem to notice.

His thumb moves absentmindedly against the fabric of Seonghyeon’s shirt, “You’re warm, Seonghyeon.”

Seonghyeon blinks, “...Okay?” Juhoon laughs quietly at that and leans his head against Seonghyeon’s shoulder.

Seonghyeon looks toward Martin. He’s staring, and so is Keonho. Both look completely fascinated. Seonghyeon lightly pushes at Juhoon’s chest, trying his best not to think of how it feels against his palm.

“Get off.”

Juhoon lifts his head, “Nah.” Good lord.

“You’re drunk–”

“Yuuup.”

“And you’re being weird.”

Juhoon’s eyes soften, “Do you not like it?”

What the fuck.

Seonghyeon opens his mouth and closes it just as quickly. He genuinely doesn't know what to say anymore. Not when Juhoon is looking and clinging to him like this.

Juhoon smiles, “I thought so.”

Before Seonghyeon can say something, anything, someone bumps into them from behind. Juhoon's arm quickly wraps around Seonghyeon's waist to steady him, the boy grabbing Juhoon's arm instinctively. For a second, they stay pressed against each other.

Juhoon looks down at Seonghyeon's fingers gripping his arm, then back at his face, “You okay?” He asks quietly.

“Y–yeah,” Seonghyeon looks down at Juhoon's hand still on his waist, “you can let go now.”

He doesn't yet, “Do you want me to?”

Seonghyeon hesitates. His heart is pounding.

“No.” The word slips out before he can think it over. Juhoon's eyes crinkle and a tiny smile tugs at his lips.

“Okay.”

At some point, Seonghyeon had dragged the two of them upstairs, because he was starting to get gradually more anxious that Juhoon had drank too much and wasn't sure if he'd be okay for much longer. The noise from downstairs is barely audible up here.

Seonghyeon sits at the edge of the bed in one of the spare rooms, elbows resting against his knees. The door is cracked open, letting in a thin strip of warm light from the hallway. Juhoon is beside him.

Their knees brush whenever either of them moves.

Juhoon's head is tipped back against the wall, eyes half-lidded. He looks tired now. The confidence he's carried throughout the evening has somewhat faded, leaving him quieter than usual. His hair is a mess, cheeks still lightly flushed, and, despite being heavy, his eyes look softer than they usually do.

“You good?” Seonghyeon finds himself asking.

Juhoon takes a moment to actually respond, “...I'm tired.”

Seonghyeon scoffs a laugh, “That much is clear.”

Juhoon tips his head forward, studying Seonghyeon. Seonghyeon immediately starts feeling self conscious, but he lets Juhoon do whatever he wants. He also lets his fingers find the edge of Seonghyeon's sleeve, idly fiddling with the fabric. Seonghyeon tracks his long fingers.

“You're a real touchy drunk, you know that?”

“Yeah.” Juhoon's pinky finger brushes Seonghyeon's skin. Seonghyeon feels his heartbeat pick up ever so slightly.

Juhoon hums, looking uncertain, before he eventually mutters, “I like being around you, Seonghyeon.”

Ah.

He doesn't realize it, but he shifts closer, enough for their shoulders to bump. Juhoon lifts his gaze, eyes wandering all over the other boy's face, and his fingers feel even hotter on top of his hand.

The door suddenly swings open.

“OH.”

Martin freezes in the doorway, Keonho behind him. Seonghyeon nearly jumps off the bed.

He watches as the blond slowly looks between them. They're sitting close enough that their shoulders are pressing against each other and their hands are resting beside each other on the mattress, Juhoon's pinky brushing over Seonghyeon's. His face immediately flushes red.

“It's not what you think.”

Martin's eyebrows rise, “I didn't even say anything.” He steps backward, “Okay, Keonho. We're leaving them alone.”

“Martin–”

The door shuts. Seonghyeon drops his face into his hands.

“Fuuuuck.” Beside him, Juhoon starts laughing. Seonghyeon looks over.

“You think this is funny?”

“A little.”

⋆˙⟡

The movie has been playing for nearly half an hour, though Seonghyeon couldn't tell you what it's about. Martin and Keonho are quietly debating over which character is going to die first. Martin insists it's obvious, while Keonho disagrees purely because he enjoys disagreeing with Martin. Seonghyeon is mostly paying attention to his phone.

Mostly.

Juhoon is beside him. They're not exactly close, and there's enough space between them that Seonghyeon could easily move away even further if he wanted to. He doesn't do that, though.

The room is dim except for the television, and every now and then the light from the screen catches Juhoon's face. He's watching the movie with an expression of mild concentration, occasionally taking a sip from the can resting in his hand.

Seonghyeon glances at him, and then back at his phone. A few minutes later, Juhoon shifts.

His knee brushes Seonghyeon's. Seonghyeon keeps scrolling.

A few minutes after that, Juhoon reaches over him for the bowl of popcorn. His arm brushes Seonghyeon's chest, “Sorry.”

“It's fine.” Seonghyeon lets him take a handful. Then another, and another.

“I can just give you the bowl, dude.”

Juhoon sits back, “Nah. I don't want any more.” Seonghyeon rolls his eyes.

A month ago, Seonghyeon would've been seriously irritated by every little thing he did. Now, he's realized that he finds some of the older boy’s habits endearing, even.

The way Juhoon taps his fingers against his knee when he's bored. The way he tilts his head when he doesn't understand something, or the fact that he always seems to know when Seonghyeon is looking at him.

Juhoon's hand lands against Seonghyeon's back, rubbing slow circles into it. Seonghyeon isn't sure why he's suddenly doing that, but he doesn't tell him to stop.

Martin notices and nudges Keonho, the boy looking over. Their eyes meet, none of them say anything about it.

Eventually, the movie ends and Martin gets up to look for a new batch of snacks. Keonho follows him into the kitchen, leaving the other two in charge of picking a new movie to watch.

Juhoon reaches for the remote. Seonghyeon grabs it first.

“I'll pick.”

“You're gonna pick some bullshit.”

Seonghyeon glances at him with furrowed brows, “I won't.”

Juhoon reaches for the remote. Seonghyeon pulls it away, “I'm choosing.”

“Give it to me.”

“Nope.”

Juhoon reaches again. Seonghyeon holds the remote above his head, “You can't reach it.” Juhoon stares at him.

He leans closer, and Seonghyeon gradually lowers his arm despite himself. Their faces are suddenly much closer than either of them expected, yet they don't move. Juhoon's eyes flick down briefly. Seonghyeon's heart starts pounding.

He should move.

Instead, his hand catches the front of Juhoon's sleeve. Juhoon looks down at it, “You're holding me.”

“I–” He lets go immediately. “Ignore that.”

Juhoon's mouth curves into a smile, “I don't think I want to.” Seonghyeon shoves his shoulder.

Instead of shoving the boy back, he catches Seonghyeon's wrist. His thumb moves once across the inside of the younger's wrist as a small, almost absent-minded gesture, and Seonghyeon doesn't pull away.

It's only when they hear footsteps getting closer that they seperate.

Martin walks back into the room carrying a bowl, looking at the two boys and the suspicious amount of space between them that definitely wasn't there before.

“...What happened?”

“Nothing,” Seonghyeon says immediately. Juhoon hums in agreement. Martin sighs.

“You two are fuckin’ weird.”

Seonghyeon throws a cushion at him.

⋆˙⟡

It's late enough that most of the students have already left.

Seonghyeon is sitting on the low wall outside of the school, waiting for Martin to finish his business with a teacher. Keonho left a few minutes ago after getting picked up for an after school club, leaving him alone.

He hears footsteps.

“You're still here.” It's Juhoon.

“Unfortunately.”

Juhoon sits beside him, “You always say that when you see me.”

“Because it's how I feel.” He receives a sideways look.

“You don't mean it anymore. Haven't for a while, actually.”

Seonghyeon scoffs, “Don't get ahead of yourself.”

“I'm not.” Juhoon looks forward. Then–

“You like me.”

Seonghyeon turns sharply, “What?”

“You heard me.”

He sputters, “You're way too confident.”

“Usually, yeah.”

Seonghyeon laughs under his breath. “This is why I used to hate you.”

“Used to?”

Seonghyeon realizes what he said. “Don't.”

Juhoon smiles, way too smug for his liking, “Don't what?” He shifts slightly closer, “You're gonna have to be more specific.”

Seonghyeon turns to him, “You know exactly what you're doing.” Juhoon is still smiling.

Their faces are closer than they were a moment ago, neither of them seem to notice when the teasing stops. Seonghyeon looks at Juhoon's eyes, then his lips, then looks back up. Juhoon watches it all happen. His voice is quieter when he speaks.

“Seonghyeon.”

“Mm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Seonghyeon's heart pounds. He nods. Juhoon leans in slowly, giving him plenty of time to change his mind.

Their lips meet briefly. It's hesitant and uncertain, and it makes Seonghyeon's stomach twist. When they pull away, no one says anything for several seconds.

“That was weird,” Seonghyeon finally mutters.

Juhoon smirks, “Did you not like it?” Seonghyeon doesn't answer, just looks away, and Juhoon thinks that's the end of it.

Until he's suddenly being grabbed by the sides of his face and thrown into another kiss. A deep one, devoid of any hesitation, Seonghyeon's lips moving against his own. It almost feels like an attempt to claim him. Juhoon doesn't even realize it when his own hand gently presses against the back of Seonghyeon's head.

It doesn't take any longer for the younger to pull away, lips swollen, pink, and pretty.

Seonghyeon laughs quietly, almost disbelieving, “Fuck.” 

Juhoon finds himself laughing along, “What?”

“I really don't hate you anymore.”

Juhoon looks at him, “That's unfortunate.”

“Don't worry, you're still irritating.”

Juhoon's hand finds Seonghyeon's, “I know.” Their fingers intertwine.

⋆˙⟡

There isn't a moment where Seonghyeon can point to and say ‘that's when everything changed’, he can just tell that it has.

Somewhere along the way, Juhoon stops asking before touching him.

A hand settles against Seonghyeon's back when they're walking through crowded hallways. Fingers absentmindedly curl around his wrist when Juhoon wants his attention. He starts leaning against Seonghyeon whenever they're sitting together, resting his head against Seonghyeon's shoulder as though he'd been doing it forever, and Seonghyeon lets him. More than that, he starts doing it back.

He'll reach for Juhoon's hand without thinking when they're walking somewhere. He'll steal Juhoon's sleeve when he's cold. Sometimes he'll simply sit close enough that their thighs press together, neither of them bothering to move.

Their arguments haven't stopped, though.

“God, you're so annoying.”

“You love that about me, though.”

“Yeah. No clue why.”

Juhoon always smiles when he says that.

Their friends have stopped reacting to it. Martin barely looks up anymore when Juhoon drops his head onto Seonghyeon's shoulder. Keonho has long since given up pretending not to notice when Seonghyeon automatically reaches for Juhoon's hand.

They've become disgustingly comfortable, he'd say.

One evening, they're sitting together outside the school after everyone else has gone home. The sky is darkening, the air cool enough that Seonghyeon has pulled his sleeves over his hands. Juhoon sits beside him, their arms pressed against each other.

Juhoon's hand slips into his. Their fingers intertwine easily. Seonghyeon leans his head against his boyfriend's shoulder, Juhoon shifting to make him more comfortable. The gesture is so automatic and natural now that Seonghyeon barely notices it.

He shuts his eyes, “Do you remember when I hated you?”

Juhoon laughs quietly, shaking the younger boy with him, “You were very convincing.”

“I was right.”

“Hm? About what?”

“You being annoying.”

Juhoon turns his head slightly. “And now?”

Seonghyeon opens his eyes, looking up. “Still annoying.” He squeezes Juhoon's hand, “But I don't think I’d want you any other way.”

Juhoon's expression softens. He leans down and presses a soft kiss on the crown of Seonghyeon's head, thumb moving slowly across the back of his hand. For someone he'd once been convinced was fake and arrogant, Juhoon has somehow become the person Seonghyeon feels safest around. 

⋆˙⟡

@kimjuhoon has tagged you in a post.

Seonghyeon clicks it. There are two photos.

The first one is normal enough – Juhoon sitting outside somewhere, looking into the camera with his pretty eyes. It's the second photo that makes Seonghyeon sit upright. It's a photo of him. Not something Seonghyeon remembers Juhoon taking.

He's sitting beside Juhoon, head resting on his shoulder, eyes closed. One of Juhoon's arms is wrapped around his waist, fingers loosely curled against Seonghyeon's side. The angle makes it obvious they're together.

Juhoon had decided that was exactly what he wanted everyone to see.

Seonghyeon briefly glances at the caption – a white heart between turtle and fox emojis – before scrolling down to the comments.

@martinplaydatbeat: I FJCIKNG KNEW IT

@ahnkeonwoah: why did i find this out from an instagram post AND NOT IN PERSON????????

↳ @ahnkeonwoah: happy for u tho 😢🥹❤️‍🩹

@zhaoyufine: Omg!!!!! 😲😳 So happy for you guys!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Wishing you a beautiful love story together 🙏🙏💪🎉

↳ @martinplaydatbeat: unc get out the comment section 😭😭😭

Some comments from Juhoon’s classmates:

@yummihani: U have a BOYFRIEND???? WTF CONGRATS

@08jiwoo: kim juhoon is gay 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 dni

@mintcholuvr: I thought that guy hated you

Juhoon has liked that last one.

His phone vibrates with a new message.

Jju: Did you see it?

Hyeon: i did

Hyeon: you rly posted that without telling me

Jju: You look good in it

Jju: I wanted people to know

Jju: About us I mean

He looks back at the photo. There’s something strangely warm about it.

He’d spent so long thinking Juhoon was the kind of person who cared about appearances more than anything else, yet this is the picture he’d chosen. Not some thought out basic couple photo, but a candid shot of Seonghyeon leaning against him.

Another notification appears.

@kimjuhoon mentioned you in their story.

It's a picture of their hands intertwined. No text, no song over it. Simple just like him. He opens their messages again, thumbs quickly flying over the keys.

Hyeon: youre so embarrassinghnfnfnfb

Jju: You love meeee 

Hyeon: unfortunately .

Hyeon: yk what would make me feel better

Jju: What is it

Hyeon: if my reeeaaallllly embarrassing and annoyingly hot boyfriend came over and made out with me rn

He watches as Juhoon struggles to reply for a moment, grinning to himself like an idiot before he throws his phone and hides his face into a pillow.

Jju: Omw