Work Text:
This Prompt: https://www.tumblr.com/writing-prompt-s/824412164299374592/so-if-you-win-the-duel-you-get-to-take-her-on-a
"So if you win the duel, you get to take her on a date." They both nodded. "And if she wins the duel, she gets to take you on a date." They both nodded. "So why don't you both just... Skip that and go on a date?" They both glared.
—
Gene put their hands up and stepped back, “ok, ok. I forgot, this is how you guys flirt.”
Louise and Logan stood in the middle of a farmers field, dressed in full cowboy costume.
They had argued about who would get to wear the black hat and who would wear the white hat. In the end they both picked the black hat. A decision that made Tina exclaim, “awww bad-guys-to-lovers.” Which also earned her a glare from the both of them.
In the field, they stood back to back, guns in hand. Gene and Tina stood a ways back, watching the proceedings. Tina had gone with a pale blue prairie dress, complete with white apron. Gene went femme today, not wanting to pass up the opportunity to wear a salacious emerald green Saloon girl dress.
“Take ten paces,” Gene yelled.
1…2…3…4…5…
In one swift movement, Louise turned on her heel and pointed her gun at Logan. It was too late. She felt a pelt hit her hip as she turned. A splotch of green paint was the only evidence of the hit. She shot at him anyway, leaving a rainbow of splotches across his chest.
“HEY! I got you first!” Logan yelled.
“AND?! You shot before the count was done!” She ran up to him, gun in hand. The sting of the paintball hit zapped her with each step.
“YOU also turned before the count was done. Wow! Hey, don’t point that in my face.” Before she could reach him, he dropped his gun, swooped in and bear hugged her. Pinning her arms down by her sides and lifting her off the ground.
“AAARRGGGG, PUT ME DOWN.” She kicked out wildly, meeting his shin.
“Oufff,” Logan let out a grunt, but didn’t release Louise.
A host came out of a nearby house, “Is there trouble over yonder? I’ll have to call the sheriff.” The host started to walk across the field in their direction.
“NO! NO! WE’RE FINE! GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE,” Gene yelled at the femme shaped host in a brown prairie dress.
“Hey, guys, you’re drawing attention from the hosts. Maybe we tone it down a little.” Tina fretted.
“Louise, I’ll put you down, but you have to promise not to point that thing in my face,” Logan insisted. She felt her cheeks heat. His face was only inches from her while they were still trapped in the bear hug.
“Fine,” Louise grumbled.
“Fine, what?”
“Fine, I won’t shoot you in the face! Happy?” She spat.
“Yes,” He let her down. She gasped for air, finally allowed to fully expand her lungs.
“You know most people come to Westworld to hook up with the weird robot people, right?” Gene snickered.
“Shush up Gene,” Louise tossed at her sibling. She grabbed Logan’s hand. “Come on Loser, we’re going to the Saloon.”
“Wait, no. I won. I pick where we go,” Logan protested.
“Nah aw, you cheated. We hadn’t finished our 10 paces. That means you forfeit!” Louise let go of his hand and started to run back towards town.
“Get back here. I declare a re-match,” Logan called after. He took off after her.
“I guess I’ll go find a nice cowboy with a horse we can ride together,” Tina trailed off.
“That sounds like fun, maybe I’ll also go find a nice cowboy I can ride,” Gene turned to head back to town.
“That’s not what I… nevermind,” Tina picked up the hem of her dress and followed.
— [I break the fourth wall below here] —
“Hey you! You’re not supposed to have unauthorized weapons in the park! Even paintball guns!” A grizzled old man yelled out from across the field. It was unclear if he was a guest, or not. But hosts were not supposed to break character.
“Let’s get out of here,” Gene grabbed Logan’s discarded paintball gun and high stepped it out of the field, with Tina trailing behind.
“Yeah, why did we come to Westworld, if we were going to just bring paintball guns?” Tina asked.
“This is the part where the author lampshades the story, by explaining that they liked the idea of a western standoff between Logan and Louise, but didn’t want them shooting at each other with real guns, because it’s supposed to be a fun date idea.”
“Ok, but that doesn’t really…”
“The author also forgot that guests aren’t allowed to shoot at each other in Westworld, thus rendering the whole duel thing moot. Sooo paintball guns.”
Tina looked incredulous. Geez Gene. Read me to filth, why don’t ya.