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It's August now, about a month before Cheng Xiaoshi's death node. Lu Guang always gets quite stressed in the weeks leading up to that date, because every time, it would mean he had one less chance to go back and save him, and after all his efforts what if he still failed in the end? How was he meant to just move on from him? Cheng Xiaoshi had become like the sun that he orbited, always coming close to it but never really coming into contact with him, and then separating for a long time, and endless cycle of back and forth, its always the same. But maybe if he manages to save the other one, they will just go their separate ways, like a comet being flung out into the universe once more by the stars gravity.
"even if i do save you in the end, would i even be worthy of you by then? am i even worthy of you as i am now?" he tries not to cry but tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. After the 13th, he wasn't sure that he'd be able to stay within Cheng Xiaoshi's orbit, with all the rules he had set, and made Xiaoshi follow, the same ones he was breaking for the same “selfish” reasoning that Xiaoshi held when he wanted to save Chen Xiao's mother, and Lu Guang had just let it play out and let Chen Xiao's mother die, all to prevent the timeline from changing.. What gives *him* the right, *he's* not the one who get shot and killed each time. *He's* not the one who loses their only sibling each time. And he's *certainly* not a lover who lost their other half. he was just a bystander, or at least is one since he can never convince cheng xiaoshi to not sacrifice himself to save him. . . maybe hes the reason, he dies saving Lu guang every time..
*no. no. no-* he shouldnt be having such thoughts, he shouldn't give up, can't give up, not now, not after all his efforts, but ..
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The 14th September started like any other day and remained that way to Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling. Lu Guang couldn't fathom why this time was different, why Vein never appeared to try and kill Lu .
Qiao Ling noticed that Lu Guang had seemed a bit out of it since the morning and decided to take his responsibilities and give them to Cheng Xiaoshi, she thought it was only fair given how Lu Guang always seemed to be cleaning every mess up.
The next day when Qiao Ling took Cheng Xiaoshi to get bubble tea, Lu guang went to out to a flower shop and later returned with some blue hydrangeas, and was putting them into a vase just as Cheng xiaoshi and Qiao ling were getting back
Then, he heard the all too familiar voices of Cheng xiaoshi and Qiao ling at the door.
"Oh hey! whatchu got there Lu? Xiaoshi shouted from the entrance as Lu Guang turned around to face the two of them.
He could hide his sorrowful expression from Xiaoshi, but he couldn't hide it from Qiao Ling, who noticed and gave him a sympathetic look but stayed back as Lu Guang and Cheng xiaoshi fell back into their normal conversations, although it was mostly one sided with how much Xiaoshi talks, with Lu Guang occasionally interupting to call cxs an idiot.
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Only a few days later would have them attending their second funeral in the past year, however, while their group would only consist of two again, it was for a different reason this time. This time, it was Lu Guang who was in the coffin.
*apparently one morning someone ran past the river only to find a body floating along. They were so scared by it they forgot to finish their run after calling the police there, then later that day, Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi were informed*
The only people who attended were those two plus Xiao Li, presumably his parents hadn't heard the news, or if they had, simply hadn't cared to attend.
Qiao Ling later found her brother on a bench near the entrance, she tried to comfort him, while all she could think was about that sorrowful look lu guang had on his face that day. *maybe if she had checked up on him, things could have been different, they might have been able to prevent it*.
In truth, Qiao Ling had sensed that something was up with Lu Guang for a while, In the months leading up to this week, he had seemed to be really on edge, like everything was out to get him, or more like out to get Cheng Xiaoshi, he had definetly been much more protective over him, but then on that day he bought the flowers he just appeared utterly exhausted, and maybe even at peace, but with what? Qiao Ling had Li Tianxi's power after all, she knew Lu Guang had memories of her brother dying, but she never brought it up, he always seemed so confident. But maybe he wasn't
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The photo studio was certainly a lot lonelier now. The flowers Lu Guang bought just a few days before were left alone on the table in the sunroom. Qiao Ling had started going there more often so her brother wouldn't be alone all the time. Occasionally she would catch Xiaoshi just staring blankly at the flowers, she left him to it, he still needed time to process all of it.
[¯◉°]