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It was awfully nice to be home. Don’t get him wrong, hanging out in mainland island 2 was always fun, especially when everyone is celebrating a recent success as big as the one they were celebrating, but there was a strange atmosphere in the air. Everyone was so excited to still be alive that it just reminded them of all the people who weren’t. Happy or sad, Saps was sure he would find it easier to figure it out on his own.
He reached out to the edge of the shore, pulling the little boat in, the familiar feeling of sand running between his fingers. A small gust of wind carried through the otherwise stale air. Finishing tying the boat to the dock, he took a step back. It was completely different from the one he’d stolen to run away all those nights ago, but it somehow brought back memories. Days had passed since he’d last been to his island, so it felt nice to rest his feet on the ground. He took one last look at the sea, breathing in for a moment. He hadn’t been this alone since… well, since a time he didn’t particularly like to think about.
He spun around on his heels perfectly happy to finally get to sleep in his own bed. However, the sight that greeted him made his heart drop.
“Took you long enough.”
Saps didn’t have time to process what was happening. He knew that voice. It was one he was never meant to hear again. Someone he was never meant to see again. Someone he’d watch die. Stood at his doorstep. Not dead.
Alive.
Flux was alive.
His feet were stuck in the sand which seemed ready to drag him under the ground. His brain wouldn’t, couldn’t, tell his feet to move so he just stood there, helpless once again in his presence.
“What- you miss me or something?” Flux had his usual grin, but his words were slurred, and Saps noticed before it happened; his brain finally let his feet move again as he instinctively reached forward, his hands making contact just as he felt the body go limp.
So much for some quiet time alone.
It would have been very easy for Saps to ignore Flux’s body, maybe he could’ve even sped up the process by throwing him into the sea. It wasn’t like anyone would stop him. It would have been so easy to ignore him, that Saps couldn’t understand how he had ended up with the supposedly dead man lying unconsciously on his kitchen floor.
He knelt down next to him to get a better look but only found himself more confused as to how Flux was even alive. Burns were littered across every inch of exposed skin and Saps assumed the dried blood on his face was caused by the large gash on his forehead. Despite his lack of medical training, Saps was also pretty sure the concerning angle of his right arm was due to some kind of break. His hands were still gloved, Saps noted. Every part of him said to leave, walk away, let him die, but he couldn’t bring himself to.
“Just won’t stay dead,will you?” he muttered under his breath.
There was so much to fix he wasn’t sure where to start. He rummaged through his chests trying to find something to clean up the burns, most of his supplies had been used up in the war and it wasn’t like he could ask anyone for some.
“Hey Cass, do you have any spare bandages? No, they’re not for me, they’re for the guy the whole world hates and thought was dead!” Not really an option.
After a short while of searching he found a few supplies: a singular golden apple (not that he was happy to be giving away his last one), a roll of gauze he must have missed when preparing for the fight, and some uncooked food. What else could he need?
The rest of the night was spent attempting to bandage the worst of the burns and cleaning out most of the cuts. Saps was grateful Flux stayed unconscious throughout the process because trying to put up with his constant sarcastic remarks sounded like a nightmare (Ish, he used to find those remarks charming) but he was starting to realise in order for him to eat the golden apple, Flux would have to be awake.
He turned away, not sure what the best way to wake him up was. To his luck, the second his back was turned, he heard gasping and spluttering and he spun round to see Flux sat upright.
“Don’t-” Saps grimaced, “you’ll make it worse. Just stay still.”
Flux looked around, his eyes darting around the room, seemingly confused. Saps waited for him to say something, a big declaration of thanks, or maybe an apology for everything he had put him through.
“Why am I on the floor?”
He sighed, rubbing his temples to try to shake the frustration from himself, “you’re welcome for saving your life.”
“You could’ve saved my life on a table or something,” the usual cocky tone Flux had adapted to his voice was there, but it was shakier and less in control than it used to be.
“I could have not saved your life at all, in fact I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have if this is going to be your reaction.”
There was a moment of silence, “thank you.”
“Well don’t get used to it. As soon as you’re better, you can leave.”
“I wasn’t planning on staying.” Another second passed as they looked at each other.
Saps knew Flux. He knew that this was his plan, to show up here so close to death that Saps couldn’t say no. He knew Saps would help. He knew no one else would.
“You should rest for the next few days. I’ll help you upstairs.”
Flux looked offended by the offer, “it’s not far, I can cope by myself.”
Saps did not have time for this. Even someone with an everlasting supply of patience would give up trying to help Flux, “did you forget how close you are to death or is it a choice to ignore it?”
“A choice,” he replied, making no effort to get up.
“Just wait here, I’ll go get wool from outside to make you a new bed,” a reasonable excuse, Saps figured, to get himself some air.
He left Flux on the floor and headed out back to the sheep pen, which, of course, had no sheep in.
When the barrier had dropped, island two seemed particularly interested in taking back as much livestock as they could and, when he’d realised all his animals were gone, he didn’t have any time to sort out that problem. The irony wasn’t lost on him, he would’ve had plenty of time to sort out problems like this had he not been being chased by the entire world- fault of the very man crumpled on his kitchen floor.
What he should have done was cut his losses, packed up and moved to a new, more remote, location. What he did instead was kick a large pile of sand, turn around, and head back into the house. The sheep weren’t the problem, he could write to Cass asking for two and she’d send him two hundred. The problem was now who he was responsible for.
“What’s got you looking mad?” Flux asked, using the same fake-sympathetic voice he’d used to irritate him before.
“Take a guess,” Saps replied, deadpan.
He paused for a moment, “you realised living on a remote island isn’t as cool as you thought it was?”
“Close.”
Outside the sun was slowly setting, leaving a golden cast over the room, “you should go up,” Saps said, “you can take my bed.”
“What about you?” if there was any concern in the question, he couldn’t hear it.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve gotten used to not having a place to stay.”
The words fizzled out into an awkward silence interrupted only by Saps outstretching his hand, “take it. You’re not gonna be able to walk up on your own.”
The golden glow from the sun had rested itself perfectly against Flux's face, illuminating the purple haze to his eyes. He might have been staring (he was definitely staring) but he couldn’t understand how someone who was so close to death could have eyes which looked so alive.
His arm outstretched slowly, as if every movement was painful, and, in the light of the sunset, their fingers interlocked.
“Thank you,” he said as the distance between their fingers was completely closed, and this time Saps could tell he meant it. His hands met fabric, weird, he could’ve sworn he’d taken off the gloves when he was bandaging him up.
He was not particularly happy about having to sleep on a chair in his own home but there wasn’t much of an alternative. He debated staying downstairs for the whole night, sure the chairs wouldn’t provide much comfort but at least he would finally get his peace and quiet. Or maybe he could lie outside the whole night, under the stars. He should be making Flux sleep on the floor- no- he should be making Flux sleep outside or on a boat headed towards island 1. Anywhere but in his own bed. And yet, Saps knew as he sat on the front steps, that tonight someone else’s head would lie on his pillow.
It wasn’t cold, which wasn’t unusual for an early evening in the desert, but part of him knew he couldn’t stay out much longer before the wind got to him. He had, of course, stayed in worse conditions than the sandy floor. Places where the grass was his only option for rest and places where the grass couldn’t reach him at all. He’d spent a while in the tundra, the only place he could truly be safe because anyone who stumbled into it ended up dead. Thinking back to the ice-cold weather which had gnawed at his skin through layers of stolen clothing, he couldn’t help but sit outside knowing that he could without freezing half to death.
There had been a night, in the tundra, soon after he got there, and long before he would leave, where he had sat at the top of his freshly-constructed tower, fresh snow settling in through the sides he hadn’t filled in yet, where a star had fallen from the sky. It had whistled right past him, so close he felt he should reach his hand out to grasp onto it and never let go. He didn’t make a wish. Wishes were no more than hopeful thinking and hopeful thinking was no more than accepting that the only way out of your situation was through hope. But, for a moment, he wasn’t running away from the whole world. He was just watching the stars. Like he used to do with Flux.
It was late when he finally stood up, too cold to be out anymore. He closed the door gently behind him, not out of fear of waking his guest, but out of habit. He’d spent the past weeks as silent as possible, terrified that even in the middle of nowhere if he made too much noise someone would find him. He crept up the steps, hesitating at the door to his room. Would it be weird for him to sleep in there? He hadn’t thought about that, but surely it would have been weirder for him to sleep outside the room. Besides, Flux was in a fragile state, what if he needed something in the night and Saps was nowhere to be found? There was a chair tucked away into the corner of the room that would be comfy enough, at least for one night.
Luckily, he had a spare blanket which would work perfectly to keep him warm, unluckily, said blanket was kept underneath his bed.
It was a tricky operation, tiptoeing round to the corner of the bed where the blanket would be stored, gently reaching down to pull it out, all without making a single noise. He looked up for a moment, his breath catching. Something about the way Flux was asleep. Calm, peaceful, nothing like the man who had betrayed him. He looked… sweet almost.
“You’re staring.”
In the dim lights he hadn’t realised that the sleeping face he was observing wasn’t actually asleep.
“I was grabbing a blanket. You should really be resting,” Saps replied smoothly, trying to cover up the fact that he was, indeed, staring.
The response came flat, as though it was intended to be delivered with some force but the speaker was too tired to get the meaning across,“I can’t.”
He sighed, obviously not. He really shouldn’t have been surprised that after almost dying it wasn’t all that easy for Flux to fall asleep, “I think I have one health pot left, you can take that tonight and I’ll get some more ingredients tomorrow.”
The response came in the form of a short nod which Saps could barely make out in the dark. He slipped down the stairs to retrieve the potion, lingering slightly as his fingers met the glass. The last one. He was so willing to give up his last potion for a man who would’ve- who did leave him for dead. As he thought of the sleeping face upstairs, calm and peaceful, his grip tightened around the flask. His last potion wasn’t going to Fluixon, leader of the conspiracy and murderer of the Island 2 leaders, his potion was going to the man half-asleep in his bed, relying on him. His potion was going to his friend.
“Drink it carefully,” Saps fussed, handing him the potion, “you need to sit up.”
“Sorry,” Flux mumbled, nothing to his usual self. Saps never thought he’d miss being constantly teased and ridiculed but something about the self-pitying tone to Flux’s voice made him crave the old sarcasm.
“It’s okay, this should kick in straight away then you can get some sleep.”
When the bottle was empty, he placed it on the bedside table. He absentmindedly wondered if it was a different type of glass to usual, because it still felt full even though he could see there was nothing there.
“Saps?” He felt fingers close around his wrist as he turned to leave, cold and weak, “it’s not just the pain. I can’t sleep.”
This was the last thing he wanted to be dealing with. It was late and he was tired, “just try, and if you can’t just lie there quietly with your eyes closed so I can,” he did try to say the second half a little quieter, but in the dimmed room the sound seemed to carry across perfectly fine.
“That’s the problem,” he muttered in response, “when I close my eyes all I can see is the lava and I’m falling towards it and everyone is cheering and all of a sudden my body is breaking down and I’m telling myself to swim but I can’t move forwards and-” the words were piling up fast and spilling out. Even in the darkness it was clear they were painful, “and I look up to see who pushed me and it’s-“
“Okay, okay, I understand, just, breathe, please,” his own words didn’t come out as reassuring as he would have liked, but it would have to do for the both of them, “I’ll be right in the corner the whole night.”
“They were cheering.”
He knew. Saps knew they were cheering, because he was among them. Friends, some of them, others looked up to him. They were willing to fight and die for him. So, he had cheered along.
He looked at Flux, really looked at him, despite the lack of light in the room and despite his heart reaching his throat when he did, “I know, but can you blame them?”
It wasn’t until this point where Saps realised the hand was still clasped around his, and somehow his own hand had slipped down till they were intertwined. Flux still had his gloves on and Saps couldn’t understand why that bothered him so much.
“Will you stay tonight?” Flux murmured, so quiet Saps was almost certain he’d misheard.
“I’ll just be in the corner,” he reassured.
Flux squeezed his wrist, “not there.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Saps knew perfectly well what Flux was saying, but he couldn’t let himself do that. Not anymore.
“Come on,” Flux traced a thumb against Saps’ palm, “it wouldn’t be the first time.”
This was more what Saps was used to. Clingy and sarcastic, that was the Flux he remembered. That was the Flux he was trying to forget.
“I can’t,” he bit his lip, his words uncertain.
Flux blinked up at him, “please?”
The sunrise came early in the morning, flooding the room through a gap in the bottom of the blinds. Sunlight washed over the sleeping pair, casting a golden wash across the room.
Saps woke more comfortably than he had in a while. The sun kept him warm and he breathed in the sweet, morning air. For a moment, he wondered if all those nights sleeping away from his bed had made him forget how small it actually was because he found himself close to falling off it. Then, he remembered the night before. It wasn’t the sun that was keeping him warm, it was the boy also slotted into the bed beside him. His arms were wrapped around Flux’s waist and, for a moment, he debated staying there. Flux fit so perfectly into his arms that it felt natural. Eventually, he managed to pull himself away, careful not to wake the other as he did.
Noting the pleasant morning, he sat outside, pen in his hand and paper resting on his lap. Cass had told him to write with anything he needed but part of him still felt guilty for asking. Two sheep, some nether wart and soul sand so he could grow it for potions. He signed the letter, swirling the S of his name graciously.
There was hardly any food left in the cupboards so he made swift work of getting outside to the farm. Under the hot sun, most people would’ve complained about having to work but he was glad it gave him something to do. Most of the wheat had been ripped up, but a little fenced off area containing that and a few carrots and potatoes seemed relatively untouched. He worked first on harvesting what had grown while he was away, which was, luckily, enough for breakfast and possibly a meal later. Then, he started to plant down the seeds he had harvested plus a few spares he happened to have. Farm work kept him busy till late morning when he could no longer ignore his hunger and he was forced to retire inside.
Fresh bread and a glass of water were all he could make enough of, at least while there were two of them for him to feed. Later, maybe even tomorrow, he would head into the forest where he was sure he would find some cows and pigs, but they would make do for today.
He knocked on the bedroom door. He was met with no response, but pushed himself into the room anyway.
“I brought some lunch,” he called softly.
Flux rolled over, very clearly just having woken up. His glossy black hair rolled over his face messily as he turned his body to look towards the sound, “lunch?” he mumbled, barely cohesive, “what time is it?”
“About midday,” Saps set the platter and glass down on the sidetable, taking away the empty potion bottle from the previous night, “I left some food, sorry it’s not much, I would’ve given you more but this is all I could find.”
“‘S’all right,” he reached out to grab the plate as Saps turned to leave, “you’re not staying to eat?”
“I’ve eaten,” he replied, not technically a lie but he wouldn’t have stayed either way.
“Oh. Yeah, of course, you’ve probably been up for ages.”
He nodded, intending to finally take his leave.
“Do you know what happened to my sister?”
The question made him freeze.
Cynikka was dead. There was no possibility she had showed up somewhere. He had seen her die himself (though he’d seen Flux die too and that clearly wasn’t true so he wasn’t sure what to believe).
Part of him felt like lying, maybe saying she had run off and they had never caught her. Then, he remembered whose fault it was that they were in that war to begin with. He didn’t know if the thought made it easier or harder to tell him, “Cynikka didn’t make it.”
“I see.”
Flux didn’t cry. He had never cried, at least not in front of Saps. But the way his body stiffened and his face hardened said enough.
“I’m sorry.”
He meant it. Queen Cynikka of Infernous was a formidable enemy, one he had been glad to see taken down as it made the rest of her kingdom a lot more hesitant to continue fighting. But they were family, and losing family was hard.
Saparata would know. He didn’t know his family, but he knew loss. And maybe that was why Flux was there now. Because he couldn’t stand loss.
“Cass is coming later today,” he began, clearly trying to steer the conversation in a different direction for both of their sakes, “if you stay up here I’ll keep her downstairs.”
“That’s probably for the best.”
“There aren’t really any other options. She thinks you’re dead.”
“Ah, yes. Of course.”
With that Saps headed down the stairs, gazing out the open windows.
He liked Cass, she had been one of the people instrumental to convincing everyone he was innocent. Plus she was kind enough to offer the Coalitions’ help for anything he might need in the future. He wondered partly if she felt guilty about blaming him.
Despite all this, he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive as he saw her disembark the boat that had slowly pulled up to his shore. One mistake and she would find out Flux was still alive. Then… he didn’t think too hard about what would happen then.
“Saparata!” she greeted him warmly, running up the sand to embrace him, “miss me already?”
He chuckled, “looks like island one got here while I was gone. I didn’t realise how much would be missing.”
“No worries. Gives me a good excuse to come and visit.”
She fussed about behind her for a moment, grabbing out a few bundles and (what he was hoping were) two very small sheep and a couple of other goods.
“Now, I know you asked for sheep but they’re both only lambs, I hope that’s alright. The Coalition is lower on resources than I would like at the moment, but I got all of the rest of the stuff you asked for. You said you were making potions so I threw in some spare glass bottles and gun powder, though I know you didn’t ask for it,” she silenced his protests, “it’s a gift we can afford to spare. We wouldn’t have any of this stuff if it wasn’t for you.”
He’d always felt a little awkward accepting praise so he brushed of the compliment, “well Schpood was probably the reason we won the war-”
“Nonsense. Schpood is a great leader but those people were listening to you.”
Her warmth made him forget his previous worries, “come in. I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer you and the place is a bit of a mess.”
He led her into the kitchen, both of them settling down at the main table.
“How has everyone been over on the mainland? I know it’s only been a couple of days since I was there but everyone was too busy celebrating to settle back into normalcy yet.”
Her face clouded a bit, but it was slight. The only reason he noticed was because it stood out from her usual grin, “it’s been hard. People are struggling and they look to me for help, but we’re getting there. I’ve been talking with some of the other leaders and we’re discussing setting up a whole-world government, but if you ask me that won’t go anywhere.”
“If you need a hand with anything I’m more than happy to come for a bit to help out.”
Logistically, there was no way he could, not for a few weeks at least, so a small part of him was relieved when she shook her head.
“You deserve a break. How’s it been back here?” her question was meant to be kind but it just reminded him of the mess he was currently stuck in.
“Uneventful,” he lied.
She nodded, “that must be nice after the time you’ve had.”
It would have been nice, had it been even remotely true.
They chatted for a while longer, talking politics and general updates. They both purposefully avoided bringing up the war, though it was difficult to keep the conversation away from it.
“I’m sorry about Flux,” she said suddenly, “I know you two were close before all that.”
It took him a moment to choose his response, “he made his decision.”
She gave a faint, reassuring smile, “even still, it’s okay to be sad.”
Cass was one of the few people he’d confided his feelings towards Flux to. His feelings that, now, were harder than ever to understand.
He hadn’t realised he was crying till she placed a hand on his.
He shouldn’t be upset. Flux wasn’t even dead, he was alive and in his house. So why was he crying? Flux was alive.
“Did you lose anyone?” he asked, his voice soft.
“We lost many members of the Coalition,” her throat caught but she cleared it away, “I knew each of their names. People always told me it was unnecessary but now I feel like I get to carry them with me.”
Neither of them spoke again for a short while. Instead, they both sat and watched the sun fall behind the clouds. No matter what happened the sun would always rise in the morning and fall in the evening, and, in that moment, that was enough for both of them.
Eventually, she cleared her throat to announce her departure, “It’s late, I’ve stayed long enough, and I’m sure you want to get back to your peace and quiet.”
How he would love that.
“You’re always welcome to visit the Coalition, and sorry again we only had lambs,” she apologised.
“Don’t worry about it- they’ll grow,” he smiled, “come and visit again soon when everything is a bit more settled down.”
Truth be told, he didn’t hate the prospect of having to share a bed with Flux for another night or two.
She waved back as she set off on the waters, which had turned a deep blue under the night sky.
Usually, he would’ve offered for her to stay the night, but there wasn’t exactly room. So instead he waved back after her.
The lambs had already been put away for fear of them running off, but he had yet to open the bundle she had gifted him in case it came across rude. He pulled it off the shelf he had placed it on and opened it neatly, remembering she had mentioned there were glass bottles inside.
There was a lot more than he had expected there to be and he almost wished he could run back to give some of it back, but that was impossible, so he would make the most of it. He took out the things he had asked for first, immediately using the nether wart and spare glass bottles to brew some new healing potions. Then, he checked what else she had left. There was a healthy amount of gun powder and soul sand, alongside a couple of glistening melons and spider eyes. It was all too generous really.
“What are you doing?”
The voice made him jump, “Christ, Flux, do you always have to sneak up on people?” then he thought a moment longer, “what are you even doing out of bed?”
“I came down to see if you had any more health potions, and I’m bored,” it wasn’t said in a whining tone, but it felt like whining to Saps.
He took a deep breath but it didn’t do much to cover his annoyance, “what were you thinking? What if Cass had still been here? How did you even get down here? I practically had to carry you up the stairs last night because your leg was broken and your body was all burnt up.”
Flux looked the closest to sheepish he’d ever seen him, “I found a few golden apples I’d forgotten I had, and I heard Cass leaving so I figured it would be okay to come down.”
He blinked a few times, trying to get his head around the words. Looking closer it was clear he was telling the truth as the burns were much less visible and his weight wasn’t shifted as heavily on to one side. Even with this his face still remained unnaturally pale, and his eyes looked hollow. It was almost unbelievable how much he’d healed. He looked almost exactly how Saps remembered him looking.
“You had them the whole time? But you still made me use up the few resources I had left?” He accused.
Ish, he almost wished Flux had actually died.
“It didn’t fully heal me. I still kind of need the potions and the bandages and stuff.”
And stuff? Saps had spent three hours carefully treating every one of his wounds and he thought of that as and stuff?
“You are unbelievable,” he scoffed, "there's some more potions brewing, if you want to take anything else off of me.”
If he sensed the annoyed sarcasm, Flux chose to avoid it, instead happily downing one of the freshly made potions.
“You know, if you are better then you can leave.”
“What?” the reply came delayed, as if his original question had made no sense.
Maybe it hadn’t.
“I mean now you’ve managed to speed up your recovery,” Saps paused, looking carefully for the words he wanted to choose, “you said it yourself you didn’t want to be here any longer than you had to.”
Flux looked as though he hadn’t thought about it, “I suppose I could set up in some of the thicker woods in island 2. It’s probably the only place no one will find me.”
If he wanted sympathy, Saps struggled to find it in him to give any out, “probably smart seeing as everyone thinks you’re dead.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
“You’re welcome.”
They stared at each other in silence.
It was Flux who broke it this time, “you don’t actually want me to leave.”
The words came out self-assured and Saps found it insufferable.
“I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“No offence, Flux,” he started, “I don’t you know what I want.”
“I think I know more about you than you’d care to admit.”
Saps steeled, “I highly doubt that.”
“You never doubted it before,” he replied, staring Saps down.
“Yeah, before,” he shot, “shame you messed that up.”
In response to the words, Flux stood up suddenly, “I made a difficult decision for the greater good.”
He scoffed, “and look how that turned out for you,” he finally raised his eyes to meet the purple ones which were glaring at him, “half the world is sleeping better because you’re dead and the other half is dead.”
Despite the venom in his words, his tone stayed calm, dangerous almost.
“None of that would have happened if you had just died like you were supposed to.”
“You’d have liked that wouldn’t you?”
The stars in the sky watched the pair below them intently. Both had their eyes locked onto each other, a fight bubbling up between them. They held it there for a moment, then another, unsure who would strike the first blow.
Saparata to think of himself as a calm man. Someone who was sensible enough to resolve fights with his words and smart enough not to get into fights to begin with. But, after being used as a pawn for some game over and over again, he found it was him who threw the first punch. Fist-fighting wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed but something about the way his closed fingers were able to wipe away that smug smile that told him it was something he could get into. He wanted to blame his lack of sleep in part for his enjoyment in the swing, but if he was being honest he would’ve enjoyed it no matter what.
Fluxion not a calm man. He was known to anger quickly. But, like the other, he was smart. Fighting wasn’t smart. At least, fighting fair wasn’t smart and yet, when the first hit connected with his face he couldn’t help throwing his own in return.
It very quickly became a mess of limbs and hands. If you’d asked either of them what they were fighting for at that moment, they would have responded that they didn’t even know. Yet, on continued the fight. Somehow they had ended up outside, neither of them noticing the stairs as they continued fighting.
It quickly became apparent that they were mismatched for each other. Neither of them had particularly good technique but one of them had barely recovered from life-threatening injuries, and the other of them had spent months fending for himself. Although, even without the injuries, Saps knew he would beat Flux.
He landed a particularly harsh hit onto Flux’s stomach, sending him backwards. He heard a sickening crack and felt a wave of guilt crash over him.
Flux groaned, clutching the leg Saps was convinced had been broken before.
Instantly, he softened, kneeling on the grass next to Flux, “are you okay?”
Saps should’ve seen it coming before it happened- he should’ve noticed that Flux’s weight was shifted wrong, or that his breathing wasn’t laboured like it should be if he was in pain. He should’ve known that Fluixon would never fight fair. But he didn’t, and he was caught completely off-guard when the other pushed himself off of his supposedly bad leg, tackling Saps to the ground.
He felt a forearm being pressed into his neck, hard enough to knock the wind out of him, while Flux’s other hand found his wrist, pinning him to the floor. He froze, staring at the face that now loomed over him. Flux’s eyes were wild with an animal-like craze behind them.
Saps should’ve seen it coming, because it wasn’t the first time he’d used the trick. They’d been sparring, back before the war had happened, playfully fighting for the sole fact that it was fun and it meant they got to spend time together.
Saps always won the fights when they both played fair. It meant, if Flux wanted to win, he had to be sneaky about it.
They’d been in this exact same position, Flux leaning over him, a smug look plastered onto his face. Saps remembered how he’d gotten out of it, it had been easy back then. He couldn’t do that now.
“Are you always going to fall for that?” Flux scoffed.
Saps didn’t respond for a while, “are you always going to fight like that?” was the reply he eventually settled on.
“It’s what you’ve come to expect of me.”
They held the pose longer than either of them would admit, eyes locked fiercely onto each other.
The first time it had happened, Saps hadn't hesitated to break the distance between them, pulling Flux so close that the wind couldn’t pass between them. Now, he had to hold himself back from doing the same.
“Why did you do it?” he asked.
Flux scrunched up his face, lifting himself off Saps and helping him up so they were sat side by side, “don’t ask me that.”
Saps didn’t listen to his protests, continuing, “we had a good thing going, me and you, why did you have to ruin it?”
“Did we?” Flux shot back, “because even in your conscience, we’re still fighting.”
He stilled, confused, “what does that mean?”
Flux laughed, “come on Saps, don’t tell me you don’t know.”
Saps stood up, feeling his pulse rising, “shut up.”
“You saw me die, Saps. How can I be here if you saw me die?”
“Stop it,” he was pacing now, his voice raised, “stop it- shut up- stop talking.”
Flux was following behind him, voice honeyed, “don’t fight with me on this Saps. We can be anything you want us to be now, surely you don’t want us to be fighting.”
“No, no, no you’re not- you can’t be-”
“You can say it,” Flux prompted, “I know you can. Come on, say it Saps, admit it to yourself.”
He shook his head wildly, “why are you here Flux?”
He shrugged, “you tell me Saps. It’s your mind after all.”
He staggered backwards, catching himself on the wall, “I don’t want you to be here. I was cheering… I was happy when you were… when you were…”
“Don’t kid yourself, I saw you crying with Cass,” Saps must’ve looked confused because Flux let out a short laugh, “don’t act so surprised that I know. I was there, in your head, because I’m-”
“Stop it,” Saps warned.
“Please, Saps, save me the drama,” he leant against the wall next to Saps, “you know this isn’t real.”
“But, then- how am I speaking to you- how are you here?”
Flux propped himself up, tilting his head sideways, “I think it’s some sort of coping mechanism. You’re so upset about losing me that you created this fake version to hang out with. It doesn’t seem very healthy to me. I honestly think you should let me go.”
“No!” Saps replied quickly- too quickly, “I can’t.”
“I think that’s your problem,” Flux sighed, “well I guess I can stay haunting you forever, though it’s going to get dull eventually.”
Saps pushed past him, storming back into the house. This wasn’t what was happening. Flux was alive, he didn’t know how, but he knew that he was. Flux was alive. Flux was alive. Flux was alive.
“Whatcha looking for?” Flux lingered over his shoulder, watching him rip through the house.
“I’m going to prove that you’re real,” he muttered, cursing his house for being a mess.
“Well, this should be good,” Flux raised an eyebrow, Saps didn’t have to look at him to know that was what he was doing.
He ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. The bed was made neatly. On the side, a full bottle of a health potion sat, untouched.
“But- you drank it- I don’t understand…” he stared at the glass beaker. It wasn’t right, none of this was right.
Flux peered down at the bottle, “that doesn’t look like it’s been drunk if you ask me.”
“But,” Saps felt his mind reeling, “you’re here.”
“Not really.”
Saps reached forward, grabbing his hands. They were still gloved. Flux always wore gloves, Saps wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him without them.
He tried to pull them off but all he found behind them was another pair of gloves. Then another.
And another.
“It’s not going to work,” Flux let out an impatient sigh, but made no effort to pull away, “you don’t know what my hands look like, your brain can’t create something it’s never seen before.”
He didn’t stop, becoming more frantic as pulled off glove after glove.
“Saps, please, this is getting embarrassing,” Flux’s voice was teasing, like it always used to be.
He stumbled backwards. There was nothing in his hands. Not a pair of gloves. Not Flux’s fingers. Nothing.
But Flux was alive. He was there and he was alive.
He was there and he was alive.
Flux was alive.
He had to be.
It didn’t matter that he’d seen it. Flux falling straight down, towards the lava. The cheering, voices overlapping, singing praises to Ish, to Cass, to Schpood. To him
It didn’t matter that he’d been there when they’d pulled his body out.
Burns littered across every inch of exposed skin. Dried blood on his face. The large gash on his forehead. His leg twisted at a sickening angle. The gloves, still on his hands even then.
It didn’t matter because Flux was there.
He was alive.
He was alive.
He was…
Saps looked up. The raven-haired boy smiled at him.
His hands were still gloved.
“Oh,” Saps whispered.
Flux clasped his hands together, “thank Ish, I thought that was going to take all night.”
“Oh,” he repeated.
Flux laughed lightly, “I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“You’re dead.”
Flux’s face illuminated, “you got it! Finally!”
His mouth was dry, he tried to swallow, only to find himself coughing when he did.
“It was my fault,” he looked down at his hands, they were bloodstained, “I pushed you.”
He watched Flux’s mouth widen into a grin, “don’t worry Saparata, your secret dies with me.”
He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it, “how long are you going to stay?”
Had Saps looked outside, he would’ve noticed a star, chasing the sun down the horizon, flying past the other stars that were dotted along the ink-black sky.
“Forever... If you’ll let me.”