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Saparata never really moved on, he always replayed that same scenes in his head.
'What went wrong?' He always asked himself that certain question. The issues never meant to involve him but it did, greatly at that. It was never his fault that he got involved. If only....
'Fluixon. ' His heart felt heavy whenever he thought of that name.
He called Fluixon's name, a sign of escape maybe? Or it could be guilt. Even though it was never really Saparata's fault. It has always been Fluixon's fault.
But, deep down, Saparata never blamed Fluixon. He grieved that name, Fluixon is his best friend after all, or was... so he never took his fault seriously. Saparata resented him yet not fully. Maybe its because of his years spent together with Fluixon.
Or maybe...
He never really got to tell his feelings to him.
Seriously though, Saparata has always admired Fluixon. Who wouldn't? Fluixon is a prodigy, born into a wealthy and powerful family. In contrast to him, who has an average family. Saparata admired Fluixon, not in a way of romaticism. A little bit perhaps, but its entirely platonic. Saparata admired Fluixon's persistance, or maybe what he calls stubborness. Yet those consistent persistance that Fluixon's have, the way people's word never got into his way. He always point his perpective point, always trying to aim to defend his point. Truly admirable, Saparata always noticed every action Flux's do, entirely for his observation, nothing else. Did Saparata mentioned Fluixon's beauty? The way his obsidian eyes moved with precision, always observant to his surroundings, always planning ahead of time and always thinking of the unthinkable, you could say he is paranoid but Saparata would like to say he is just secure. That's hot, I can't blame all the girls fawning over him. Like hello?
Saparata couldn't pinpoint the exact words to describe Fluixon's beauty. Ethereal perhaps, yet he knows Flux is more than those words spoken. In Saparata's eyes, Fluixon are like those of a star. He shines the brightest on his eyes that would always left him starstruck. Fluixon's eyes hold that of a galaxy, filled with tiny particles that makes his eyes shine. Stars tends outshine to take the spotlight of the moon, the reason why Saparata would stargaze just to see the perfect alignments of the stars. He would often see a bundle of stars shaping something out of the ordinary, yet depicting a deeper meaning. Saparata always liked mysteries, he wanted more than just the shine of the star. However, stars tend to burn fast, specially a big star like Flux. If stars burn fast, slowly but surely, it will cause a massive fluctuation. If a star is nearing its end, It would mostly explodes called a supernova. Even though stars exploded, its shine decreased but the explosion creates a thousand of particles. Moving in slow-motion in the endless eternity of space. There are two things it can turn into. First, it can turn into another star that shines again in the starry night. Gravity pulls the dust and gas together until it gets very hot, in the next second, nuclear fusion starts when the center gets hot enough, and a new star is born... If its nearing its end again, it will repeat the cycle of never-ending, like Ouroboros. The second it can turn into a black hole that can cause massive destruction. At first sight, a black hole seemingly looks passive because of its beauty that pulls into you, that of a magnet perhaps. But, if you moved closer, you would be suck in that will slowly kill you. If Saparata were to pick which Flux turned out, It would be the latter.
Fluixon.... Is like an angel fallen from the heavens, maybe he commited sins regarding to his beauty as thou he was perished by the heavens. He then goes to hell, where it truly fits him. In contrast to his beauty, is his personality. That stone cold attitude that he always put on his face, that stern eyes that could stab you during meetings, that soft lips that contains deadly words that didnt fit quite right to his face. That personality of his... This unsufferable personality of his is what truly attracted Saparata. Fluixion always goes to Saparata to complain about politics, on how stupid human could possibly be. Those sly tongue of his always complain about the incompetence of people. If other would have heard it, they would be offended yet Saparata hid his best friend's word from them. Because if he did tell them, then Saparata would get the constant nagging from his dear friend. Then what cames after hell? He just couldn't go back to heaven after he was banished from it. Therefore, he ascended to earth. Fluixon was hereby created. A sentient being, that is created by divine intervention. Heaven blessed him with beauty, Hell cursed him with character. But those difference made him perfect, He admired.... Ahem, maybe he use that words often. Saparata... really adore Fluixion. Maybe that is why things went haywire. He adored Fluixion so much, that he forgot his intentions. Who could really blame him? Its like moth to a fire... Saparata really loved Fluixion....As a friend of course, nothing more
Saparata wondered if Fluixon truly seen him.
He wondered if Fluixon has experience in dating, he asked Fluixon that question before. But Fluixon laughed it off and said he never truly cared about love. He asked what his type is, He never answered. Because they were interrupted by someone, a lost indeed. Then months later, the incident happened. ... Its like a fogged memories in Saparata's mind. A lost cause yet every single time, he vividly remembers...The way Fluixion fell onto his arms, head bleeding. Saparata gasped for air, he never wants to remember that again. He didnt want to remember... What happened during....
"Wow you actually showed up."
"Can't say no to a friend, can I?"
Fuck
A tear fell on his eyes again. Saparata's eye glistened as he sniffled, he miss Flux.
|| Goodbye, Friend ||
He stared at the words engraved in the tomb, Fluixion. His eyes mist, eyes swelled up again He didnt wanna cry anymore he was tired, tired of all this incidents. Years had passed, almost everyone moved on.
𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
He was still stuck at his friend's tomb. He wants to get out and just face that his friend is dead.
Yet.
He couldn't, He should but..
His mind keeps telling him to move but his heart never wavers. He still liked, no. Loved Fluixion with all his heart
Maybe... Saparata is just being stupid With his Small Fragile Hearts.