Chapter Text
envy.
such a strange emotion. it had always accompanied beomgyu throughout his life.
he has always been envious of a lot of things. most of them relating to his older brother soobin. it was the most obvious after all because as the older sibling he got everything. the kingdom, to state the obvious, and along with that most of the attention was focused on him.
their parents always paid soobin more attention because he needed it. the public knew of him as the heir to the throne so it was a given.
and beomgyu had understood that fact from a young age. yet he couldn't help but feel envious.
currently beomgyu was lying on his bed, bored out of his mind. then there was a small knock on the door and without waiting for a response someone came in. speak of the devil.
"brother, you are needed downstairs. shoemaker choi is visiting today," his brother soobin explained. he waited for beomgyu to get up and they both headed down.
on their way to the great hall, where the shoemaker always awaited them on his visits, the brothers didn't talk much.
from a young age, beomgyu always felt conflicted about their relationship. he wasn't sure if getting close to his brother was a possibility in this life. they weren't far apart in age but it still felt as if there was some sort of barrier between the two. hence he never bothered to get to know soobin on a more personal level. obviously he still knew the other better than almost anyone else, they live together after all. but he never made an effort to ask questions or strike up random conversations even when it was just the two of them like right now.
after another minute in silence, the two of them reached their destination. beomgyu greeted shoemaker choi in a polite manner, as he was taught basically when he was born. image was the most important thing in this family so beomgyu needed to look good at all times, especially with his behaviour.
on this day it wasn't just the usual meeting with the shoemaker, he had brought someone along with him. "this is my son yeonjun. he will take over for me eventually so i'm taking him along from now on," he had explained when the two brothers noticed the new person among them.
yeonjun quickly shook his head and slapped his dad's arm, "don't say it like that! it sounds like you're about to die!"
his reaction caused beomgyu to snort but he quickly covered his mouth.
turning to look at his brother, he noticed soobin staring at yeonjun. normally the older did all the talking during these meetings since he would become king soon. but beomgyu got the feeling this time he forgot about that fact.
so naturally, beomgyu took over that part to not embarrass their family. it was his duty.
"pleased to meet you, yeonjun or should i- we refer to you as mr choi as well? it could get a bit confusing so we would need a way to differentiate between you two," he offered a polite smile after his words. beomgyu also lightly elbowed soobin in an attempt to free him of his.. whatever it was he was doing.
yeonjun quickly shook his head, "ah no, yeonjun is fine. it seems we're the same age as well." he glanced at soobin before continuing, "it's an honour to meet you two."
"the pleasure is all ours!" soobin had finally found his voice again after staring for so long, "i'm soobin, crown prince as you might know. and this is my brother beomgyu." his voice was trembling as he spoke.
beomgyu would love to ask him what all this panic was about but he really couldn't be bothered. about time something was making the perfect prince nervous. who knows? maybe soobin messes up and beomgyu finally gets his chance to shine.
the universe had other plans it seemed like because soobin quickly recovered. his voice was still weaker than normally when he spoke but the rest of their meeting passed by as usual.
dreams don't come true for beomgyu, he had realised long ago.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
later in the day, beomgyu decided to take a walk through the garden. today was rather uneventful and he hated being stuck in his room.
soobin being the crown prince also means that going out in public alone was not something beomgyu could do. his parents called it "preventing embarrassment", whatever that meant.
it was the worst. beomgyu had been raised by the same rules as soobin and simply because he was born a year after him, beomgyu wasn't able to follow them when he was alone?
his brother could go out, make friends with the kingdom's residents but beomgyu had to stay by himself. it was so stupid.
he clenched his fists but quickly relaxed again with a deep breath. this walk was meant to be soothing, there was no point in this.
"yah, choi beomgyu!"
at the mention of his name beomgyu quickly straightened his posture and turned himself to face whoever had called him.
upon seeing the person though, he quickly loosened his posture once more. it was none other than his one and only friend in this boring life, kang taehyun.
"what is the matter prince taehyun?" beomgyu spoke while walking up to the other. they had been friends since they were six. both their kingdoms were in some sort of alliance so their families met up regularly. luckily beomgyu's parents had nothing against the two of them being close.
"don't call me that," taehyun slapped his arm once beomgyu was within reach. the older could only snort at his response. they both didn't like being referred to by their title.
"i didn't know there was a meeting today," beomgyu said while leading taehyun towards a nearby bench so the two could sit down and talk.
taehyun sat down next to beomgyu. "it was spontaneous, i'm pretty sure. my parents said they have something important to discuss with your parents and soobin," taehyun explained.
of course it would be soobin. he was just always involved in everything happening. beomgyu breathed out a sigh. "then why did you get dragged along?" he questioned the younger with a raised eyebrow.
taehyun simply shrugged in response, "they didn't tell me." beomgyu nodded and turned his head to face the garden in front of him. at least now it wouldn't be as boring.
beomgyu loved having taehyun over. he was probably the only person in the whole world who truly understood him. and beomgyu really appreciated it. maybe a bit more than he should.
before he could get lost in his feelings, taehyun swung his arm around beomgyu's shoulders taking him off guard. taehyun usually wasn't one for physical contact.
"huening kai helped his parents out in the kitchen recently."
beomgyu bit down on his lip to not laugh, "how did that go?"
huening kai was a close friend of taehyun's because his parents were the cooks in their castle. from what beomgyu knew he wasn't the best at cooking and most likely wouldn't take over for his parents.
"he made a mess. mother was furious and his mother had to beg for forgiveness. she also promised to never let him help out again after my mother threatened to kick him out," taehyun had a small smile on his face as he told the story.
beomgyu turned to face taehyun, suddenly taken aback by how close they actually were but he quickly shook the feeling off. now is not the time.
"you would let that happen?" beomgyu questioned with a grin. he knew exactly how to get on taehyun's nerves.
"obviously not! who do you take me for? if mother wanted to go through with her threat i would have stopped her immediately!" taehyun was quick to defend himself and beomgyu pinched his cheek. it was just as he predicted.
"relax. i'm just messing with you, taehyun." beomgyu laughed when the younger threw him a glare.
moments like this really made beomgyu forget all about his life. everything felt so easy when it was just him and taehyun. he didn't even have to speak in this weird formal tone his parents forced on him.
sadly, this wasn't an every day thing. since taehyun had his own kingdom to take over one day, he was busy most of the time.
the two of them only really met when another meeting took place.
speaking of meetings, "so you really have no clue what it's about today and why we aren't invited this time?" it wasn't actually that unusual for beomgyu to be excluded from meetings since he wasn't the heir but taehyun was. it felt like an odd choice to not even tell him.
taehyun only shook his head, "father said they were still planning things and involving me before it was confirmed would be unnecessary."
a hum was all beomgyu responded with. now he was wondering why soobin was included if it wasn't set in stone yet. couldn't the parents just talk amongst each other without him? maybe that was just his jealousy speaking though.
"ah, taehyun, there you are." speak of the devil. how did soobin manage to appear every time beomgyu had thought about him? something was off today.
at the mentioned of his name, taehyun shot up and bowed his head as soobin did the same thing.
"nice to see you again, soobin." beomgyu couldn't stand that the two of them were on casual terms as well. he felt as if soobin didn't deserve this from taehyun.
he paid their exchange no mind, beomgyu didn't even turn to look at soobin. today was just one of the days were he was more bitter.
"dinner is being served, you two should join us," soobin told taehyun and glanced at beomgyu, noticing that the other wasn't paying attention.
taehyun tapped beomgyu's shoulder causing the latter to get up with a sigh and the two followed after soobin.
after making their way through the long hallways the three reached the dining hall in no time, both sets of parents already sitting at the table.
soobin sat down next to their mother with beomgyu taking the spot on his other side. taehyun was across from soobin since there was only three of them.
beomgyu kept his eyes on the plate in front of him, he was never part of the conversations anyway. aside from the greetings he had to say of course. he couldn't forget about that part or else he'd be scolded until the next day.
throughout their dinner beomgyu couldn't help but steal glances at taehyun from time to time. oddly enough he felt as if the younger was made to be a prince. he was just so formal and polite in everything he did, beomgyu really admired it even if taehyun always mentioned how much he hated everything about this. the brunette couldn't help but wonder how his life would be if he was the crown prince instead of soobin.
speaking of soobin, beomgyu couldn't help but notice his brother constantly glancing at him. their parents even mentioned how he wasn't paying enough attention to conversation.
soobin seemed nervous? beomgyu didn't really know. sometimes it was obvious what his brother was feeling, other times beomgyu had to guess. that's what he gets for not being interested in his brother he supposed.
once dinner was over, beomgyu sadly had to bid taehyun goodbye. so much to having fun around here.
beomgyu bowed his head to his parents and quickly made his way up to his room. now that taehyun was gone there was no reason to be around his family any longer.
as he was walking out, beomgyu took a peek at his brother. he still looked as nervous as before, beomgyu raised an eyebrow but said nothing. he never asked before so why start now? not that he cared that much anyway. soobin could talk to their parents about his feelings, they would help him.
right as beomgyu was about to open the door to his room, a hand on his arm stopped him. turning his head, he was faced with his brother now.
"beomgyu, i need to talk to you."
this was odd. soobin never referred to him by his name.