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1; In the beginning--
Colette meets Lloyd by running into him.
Years later, this won’t be a surprise. Right now it means Colette winds up sitting in the dust, again, with a quiet yelp of surprise and the thought that oh, no, she’s going to get someone in trouble again.
She’s doing her best to be a good Chosen; but she’s clumsy, and sometimes she trips over herself, and sometimes it’s the wall that suffers and other times she runs into people. The Chosen is important, she knows. Generally it’s the people she runs into who get into trouble, since they could have hurt her.
Colette is getting into the habit of apologizing for that, as well as any injury she might have caused. It’s just safer to apologize first. She has the words in her mouth already when a hand appears in her field of vision.
“Hehe, sorry about that,” the boy says, and Colette forgets what she was going to say in between taking his hand and winding up on her feet again. She brushes her tunic off and folds her hands together, fingers linked. He’s grinning at her, even though she doesn’t really recognize him. “Are you all right?”
Colette can’t help but smile back. “I’m fine,” she says, and, when she finds the words she was reaching for earlier, they turn out to be “Thank you.”
He starts coming to the village a lot more often. Every time, his smile catches Colette the same way.
2; On the road from Asgard--
“Colette, can you grab me some fresh water?”
She takes the pot Lloyd hands her. It’s Genis’s, and it has a little dent in it from where he had to swat a scorpion with the only thing to hand. “Are you helping cook tonight?” she wonders aloud. Usually Genis takes over for the most part, when they’re on the road. Apparently he doesn’t trust any of them to cook something good enough without a stove. Colette accidentally got into the wrong spices the last time she tried, the Professor gets chased off by Genis most of the time when she tries, and the fact that Kratos won’t go anywhere near the tomatoes is a source of some one-sided contention.
“Yeah,” Lloyd says, grinning. Colette smiles back; she can’t really help it. “I had some ideas about meat stew and Genis said we could try it together.”
The food itself doesn’t really matter all that much to Colette any more, but she’ll try anyway. “All right,” she says, nodding decisively. “How much do you need?”
“Just some,” Genis calls over. “Don’t worry about it.”
She can do that. Colette nods again and turns, heading for the nearby stream. Part of the reason they camped where they did, on their way toward the Balacruf Mausoleum. She passes under Kratos’s watchful eye as she does, but he doesn’t say anything.
Well, it’s not like it’s far, even if Colette is going alone.
She has to wonder, though, how much longer she can keep them from noticing she’s not really eating. Colette fills the pot halfway and starts back with her mind more on that than the pot or the ground, and she’s sprawled on the ground with water going everywhere before she even realizes she’s tripped. “Oh no,” she says aloud, frowning; but the pot is fine, so she picks herself up, dusts herself off, and starts back to the stream.
When she has the water -- again -- she turns and Lloyd is there. Colette processes, belatedly, that she did hear his footsteps. “Is everything okay?” he wants to know, taking the pot from her before it can spill. “You were taking a while.”
“I just tripped, that’s all,” Colette says, smiling and waving it off. “Everything’s fine.”
He still looks worried. Colette’s been seeing that in his face a lot lately, the little crease between his eyebrows and the downturn of his mouth. She wants to apologize for putting it there, for making everyone worry about her even now.
“Colette?”
“Hey, did you two get lost?” Genis has appeared behind Lloyd with some annoyance, ladle wielded one-handed with all the threat of his kendama. “Come on, some of us want to eat.”
Lloyd frowns at them both now, glancing between them. “Genis, I thought you were getting the meat ready?”
“Huh?” Genis tilts his head back a little, ladle threats temporarily forgotten. “No, I-- Raine.” With that alone as explanation, Genis turns and bolts back toward the campsite, Lloyd hot on his heels as soon as utter horror has crossed his face. Colette stands there for a second or two, one hand absently resting over her heart.
It’s all right. She can apologize to them later.
3; Hima, before the Tower of Salvation--
Colette traces words in the palm of Lloyd’s hand. There’s the same old choked-up feeling in her throat like she’s going to cry, but she doesn’t. She can’t. The feeling only lingers.
It isn’t like she could talk anyway.
They’ve been sitting here for what feels like hours, up on the highest cliff in Hima where the wind blows. She can feel the pressure of it, at least, and she can see Lloyd occasionally shiver with the chill, but the cold itself doesn’t mean anything to her any more.
All the same, Lloyd’s staying with her. She wants to apologize for it, but she’s already done that, and she’s pretty sure if she tries to do it again Lloyd will just tap her gently on the head and call her a dork. And she’ll apologize for... apologizing. It isn’t the memory Colette wants to leave him with.
“Colette?”
Lloyd wiggles his fingers in her grasp, and she looks up at him, eyes wide. As ever, he smiles. “You looked like you were lost in thought. What is it?”
He already knows she’s scared. She hasn’t told anyone else that, although Kratos probably knows. And Professor Sage looks at her sadly, sometimes. Apologizing for all the weight she’s given to him, though, will only make Lloyd frown at her again, and she doesn’t want to see that.
Colette shakes her head, biting her lip, and thinks of something else, starting to trace letters in his palm again, keeping the measured pace they’ve learned works best.
Lloyd... thank you.
He says the words aloud in her wake, and tips his head quizzically at her. “You’re welcome? What for?”
And for that Colette can only smile. There are too many words to write to say it all.
4; A rescue effected--
“You’re happy tonight,” Sheena comments, sidelong, as they’re settling down to camp. They’re stopped partway to the Temple of Earth, judging the rest too far to make even on rheairds tonight. The usual gentle disagreements are in the air, about who’s cooking what -- Genis is letting up, if only a little -- and where the bedrolls go, but overall it’s peaceful.
Colette nods an agreement, taking one of the packs from her. She’s barely been able to keep her feet on the ground half the day. There’s hope about everything-- both she and Presea are feeling things again, and she’s so sure Sheena can make the pacts, and they’re going to find a way for everyone to be able to live in peace. “I am,” she says. “I know we’re nowhere near the end, but it seems like we can really do it, you know? And we’re all together again. I’m just... happy.”
Sheena’s fiddling with something at her throat. When Colette finishes, she seems to catch herself, drops her hand and points past Colette instead. “Here,” she says, “drop that over there and I’ll help you set up. I know what you mean.”
Colette does as she’s told, puzzling over the gesture for a minute or two, until she hears the faint chime of a bell and puts the pieces together. Her face falls halfway through unpacking. Lloyd had told her, but she hasn’t really had the chance to talk to Sheena until now.
All of them have lost something, but Colette doesn’t think it will ever be fair.
“What’s that face for, now,” Sheena says, prodding her gently in the side.
Colette will never like hiding things from her friends, so this comes out easily. “Lloyd told me,” she says, eyes down. “About Corrine. Sheena, I’m--”
“If you apologize I’m going to start crying on you,” Sheena threatens. Colette thinks she’s smiling too much to be serious about it, but isn’t going to risk it. She bites her lip instead. “And don’t start thinking it’s your fault, either. We would have needed to make the pact with Volt even if you hadn’t been kidnapped, all right?”
“But--”
Sheena shakes a finger under Colette’s nose. “No buts,” she says firmly, even if her eyes are suspiciously bright. “Promise me. --Anyway, it was Corrine’s choice.” It sounds a little like it’s hard for Sheena to say, but... Colette understands. She thinks.
“...All right,” Colette says. It’s difficult to say anything else with Sheena so determined. “I won’t apologize. Thank you, Sheena.” Thank you, Corrine.
5; After everything--
She hasn’t let go of Lloyd’s hand once, and the thought of apologizing for anything is nowhere near her mind.
The world is saved, and the Tree growing right before their eyes. Maybe it’ll be difficult, but they survived and they did the impossible.
Colette survived. She’s a Chosen who survived her journey, and some people might be upset about that, but she’s never going to be sorry for it when the Great Tree is living and well and the worlds no longer have to sacrifice each other.
There are much better things to apologize for.
-1; About Kratos--
Kratos talked about what he was going to do, a little, so it isn’t really a surprise to Colette when Lloyd comes back to Iselia alone. She goes out to meet him, taking the sky so it’ll be faster, and lands by him some several meters outside Iselia.
Lloyd still breaks into a grin when he sees her, even if it’s weaker than usual and fades quickly. It’s okay. Colette understands. “Welcome home,” she says anyway, smiling back at him.
“I’m back,” he offers belatedly, matching her pattern. “Dad... left.”
“I know,” Colette says, biting her lip only for a moment. She’s been getting better about apologizing only when she really needs to, though it’s still something of a habit. Here, though... “I’m sorry,” she says at last. Lloyd’s giving her a confused look like he doesn’t quite understand, so she hastens along. “Even if you understand why he left, it hurts, doesn’t it? And I can’t do anything to help. So, I’m sorry you have to miss him.”
At least Lloyd’s laughing, if quietly. Colette wrinkles her nose at him, in turn unsure why. “Silly,” he says. “Of course you can.”
Colette doesn’t get it, tilts her head to the side quizzically. Lloyd reaches out, snags her hand and tugs her toward him. Oh, Colette thinks, and falls into hugging him, arms wrapped tight around him. He’s always given the best hugs, all warm and safe and like nothing else in the world matters, at least for a moment. “Okay,” she says aloud, closing her eyes and holding on with everything she has. “I can do that.”