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Vriska Smells and Needs to Take a Shower

Summary:

Vriska Serket has been living on Earth C and dating June Egbert and Terezi Pyrope for 8 years and has only showered 3 times, all while unconscious. Today, June has come to put an end to Vriska's smell before the neighbors start calling the cops!

(this fic was written a long time ago and is only now getting ported from wattpad.)

Work Text:

Dawn breaks on Earth C. Outside of one lone house a tire swing turns in the wind. Not a creature is stirring in the Egbert residence; all is calm.

Suddenly, the tranquil silence is broken by a loud moan.

June: come on vriska you have to take a shower!
Vriska: Do I haaaaaaaave too?
Vriska: Showers are for the wimpy wimp wimpiest!!!!!!!!
June: vriska, i shower every day. i don't know why it's so hard for you to take a shower!

Vriska turns over in her bed, the very same bed which once held June's father. The room has been litter with 8-balls, flarp memorabilia, and everything Vriska since she took over occupation.

Vriska: I was talking with Terezi the other day, and even SHE doesn't take showers!!!!!!!!
June: terezi doesn't have the best hygiene habbits vriska, we've been over this.
Vriska: 8ut Terezi is like, the coolest person I know!
June: okay first off i'm standing in this room, second even i was able to convince terezi to shower last week!
June: and third, we've been in a polycule for 8 years now, and i've only seen you shower three times.

Vriska groans and pulls the sheets over her head. Her, June, and Terezi have all been dating for a long time, and Vriska knows that Terezi has been keeping better hygiene thanks to June. She mumbles under the covers about how June's an annoying 8luh 8luh 8itch, which June overhears and leaves the room. Vriska emerges from under the covers.

It is August 8th, and has been 8 years since the gods arrived on Earth C for the first time since its creation, and for the first time in 4 years Vriska Serket is going to take a shower.

Vriska yawns and gets out of bed, picking up her pants off of the floor where she had strewn them the night before, and getting dressed. She grabbed her glasses off of the nightstand right next to a framed photo of the polycule when she heard steps approaching the room. She quickly picked up her Fluorite Octet from off a stack of flarp manuals and crawled under her bed.

June emerged from the door wearing her god tier fit, and wielding the Popamatic Vrillyhoo. She had long since grown out of her god tier fit, and had enlisted the help of Kanaya to let it out some so she could breathe. She also had Kanaya turn the pants into a long skirt and cut some of the midriff off. June knew how much Vriska loved her god tier outfit, but Vriska didn't emerge from under her bed.

June: i know you're under there vriska. just come out and take a shower for me, you stink.
Vriska: It's called aura, June. You wouldn't get it!!!!!!!!
June: we can do this the easy way or the hard way vriska.
Vriska: 8ring it on, Eg8ert.
June: oh you're really going to get it now vriska!!!!!!!!

Vriska burst out from under the bed and tossed her Fluorite Octet onto the ground. It rolled 3 fives, 2 eights, and a two four and seven. The octet summoned multiple spiders.

June: you chose the hard way vriska.

June pounded her Popamatic Vrillyhoo upon Vriska's skull, fracturing it. Vriska cried out but took a swing at June. June took the blunt of the force to the nose, which immediately started bleeding. They both knew they would just come back to life if one of them was killed, and if not they could acquire Jane's assistance. They had called Jane more than once to settle disputes, mostly involving Vriska murdering somebody or her getting slain herself.

June: come on vriska, we literally have no reason to fight.
June: just get in the shower!!!!!!!!
Vriska: M8ke me!!!!!!!!
June: oh now it's on!

June delivered another blow to Vriska with the Popamatic Vrillyhoo, this time with an attempted block from Vriska which led to her fist being maimed. Vriska retaliated by pulling June's hood over her head with her uninjured hand, and then giving June the worst wedgie of her life.

June: seriously vriska? resorting to playground tactics?
Vriska: I'm N8T SH8WERING!!!!!!!!
June: fine by me.

Vriska was pushed back from June's response, which is just what she wanted. June delivered a perfect all 8 roll on the Popamatic Vrillyhoo to Vriska's waist, shattering her spine and leaving her on the floor.

June: i'll get you to shower even if i have to do it myself!
Vriska: You win Eg8ert........

Then, Vriska passed out. She awoke hours later as she had been dragged in the shower by June and washed by her, a process that was very difficult as June had to clean Vriska's limp corpse.

Vriska: I guess I'm clean now........
June: don't worry vriska, it's nicer being clean than covered in blood.
Vriska: 8ut I like 8eing covered in 8lood!
June: then when we get home we can have a little fight with terezi too.
Vriska: I'll kick both your 8utts!
June: i'd like to see you try after today!

June had called Jane to revive the deceased Vriska, who had died a Just death from being too stubborn to shower. While there, she and June caught up on what was going on with the polycule and then bid farewell as June waited for Vriska to awaken.

Later that evening, Vriska snuck into the shower to clean herself. After all that stubbornness, she turned out to really like showering.

THE END.