Work Text:
The steady rhythm of the air conditioner hummed in the background, mixing with the distant laughter and chatter of the people in the studio. Phuwin stood by the vanity, in the green room, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The makeup artist had done a flawless job— so well that the exhaustion underneath his eyes was concealed with perfection, the line of his jaw and cheekbones contoured to enhance the sharpness, the orangish blush on the apple of his cheeks and on the tip of his nose looked stunning under the bright studio lights. Phuwin looked every bit like a photographer’s dream, a subject so pretty and photogenic it had them giggling with joy whenever they looked at their work.
But he was tired.
Exhausted beyond words, every bone in his body ached so bad and his eyes— adorned with grey contacts— felt so heavy that keeping them open for even a minute felt like the biggest chore.
He was on the third shoot of the day, a magazine shoot that had to be finished by the evening. Phuwin had been up since the crack of dawn, and he remembered grabbing a cup of coffee right before dashing out of his house in a hurry, no breakfast.
His schedule for the day was so packed that he barely had any time to breathe, let alone rest. The first shoot in the morning was good, mostly because he still had a little energy left, despite only getting four hours of sleep the previous night. For the second shoot, they had to change locations and the drive itself took nearly an hour of his time, by the time they wrapped it up, it was already past noon.
The grind had pushed him to survive only with a new cup of coffee every few hours, Phuwin had lost count of the amount of cups he had consumed, the number was definitely not anything healthy. When he sat down to finally have lunch, all his appetite had vanished into thin air, and so he only managed to stomach a few bites of rice before he felt like throwing up.
And now, it was already around six in the evening and he was mostly done with the last shoot for the day before he had an interview scheduled. His manager had exclusively asked him multiple times if he was okay with having so much work piled up in a single day, she had tried to convince him to let go of at least one of the jobs so he could rest a little. But for Phuwin it wasn’t anything new, he was used to working until his limbs gave up on him so he had convinced her that he can do it, that he will take a break after. His manager had shot him a wary look before she finally gave in.
But right now, in the very moment he stood in front of the mirror; looking at how dead he looked, how exhausted he looked, Phuwin regretted agreeing to work altogether. It didn’t hit him that today was going to be one of those days where even dragging his feet across the floor was too much work. Phuwin sighed for what felt like the millionth time in a single day, averting his gaze from his own reflection— annoyed at the sight of a perfect exterior under the exhaustion. He looked for his phone, the device had sat on the nearby table, untouched for nearly two hours.
He grabbed it to check if he had missed any important notifications in the midst of his hustle. When he opened his messages, his heart warmed at the sight of a bunch of unopened texts from the pinned chat on top, Pond.
‘Good morning, love’
‘All the best for your day, Phu’
‘Did you eat lunch?’
‘I hope you aren’t trying to survive only on coffee right now?’
The last text made him grin, Pond knew him a little too well. Holding the phone with both his hands, he smiled at the screen before typing back a reply.
I am so sorry I couldn’t text you the whole day :(
The reply was almost immediate, a surge of heat pulsed through his veins when the typing bubble appeared on his screen and Phuwin felt like his heart was melting.
‘It’s alright baby, how are you feeling?’
‘Are you tired?’
Phuwin’s grip on his phone tightened, the edges of the device digging into the palm of his hand. The smile on his face faltered and before he could realise it, a single droplet of tear landed flat on the screen of his phone. Phuwin blinked, surprised at the sight.
I am :(
Because he was, he was tired. And whatever it was about Pond, Phuwin could never bring himself to lie to him or tell him that he was fine when he wasn’t. Pond studied him like an open book, he could tell if Phuwin was tired from the way his shoulders fell, he could tell from his smile if Phuwin was genuinely happy or if he was faking it, he could tell if he was anxious from the way his fingers flexed before digging into his palms. Pond had somehow managed to understand him so well, that even when they were far away, with only their phones to communicate, he could tell that Phuwin was tired.
In a few seconds, his phone began ringing in a familiar tune, something he had reserved for Pond.
Phuwin bit down on his lower lip, crushing the soft lipstick stained skin as more tears gathered at the corner of his eyes.
The moment he answered the call and brought it up to his ear however, a few tears slipped and rolled down his cheek, leaving behind a trace over the layer of foundation on his face. Pond’s low and deep voice greeted him with a soft sigh, “Hi baby.”
Phuwin’s brows furrowed together as the stinging behind his eyelids grew heavier, the relief that flooded his veins felt far too overwhelming at the moment.
“Hi..” he whispered, voice so low it was almost inaudible.
As if Pond had felt everything he spoke in a low reassuring tone, “It’s alright, love.”
Those three words broke the dam.
A strangled sob echoed in the narrow space of the room, Phuwin sank to his knees, clutching the phone tightly as tears started flowing freely; rolling down his face like the ripples cascading down a waterfall.
On the other end of the line, Pond felt his own heart shatter at the sound of Phuwin sobbing. And the fact that he was miles away from the younger man, in a different country, it was of no help. Pond was in Singapore for his own work schedules, away from Phuwin. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to hold Phuwin in his arms and hug him close, caress his hair until he felt safe, until he fell asleep in his arms. But he was far away and the distance between them was a painful truth.
“Hey baby… Phuwin… Can you listen to me, love?” Pond mumbled, hoping and praying for his words to reach Phuwin.
He heard a small hiccup followed by a couple of sniffles before Phuwin replied in a small voice, “Yes..”
Pond sighed in relief, the stiffness in his shoulders reduced a little despite how anxious he felt, “Can we take long breaths together, Phu? Will you do it with me?” it was as if he was talking to a baby, his voice was so soft that Phuwin felt his lips quiver.
“Okay..” he swallowed slowly, his free hand coming up to pat himself on the shoulder, something Pond would’ve done if he was with him.
Phuwin inhaled a breath of air trying his best to mimic the pattern from the other end of the line, held it for a second or two before exhaling it out through his mouth. Pond kept praising him from the other end, encouraging him to keep going until he felt better, until the racing in his heart slowly came back to normal.
“Phuwin, I’m so proud of you baby.” Pond said with the most tender, most gentle voice. It was devastating how soft the moment was, as if nothing else in the world mattered more than the two men and their beating hearts, despite the miles between them.
Phuwin felt calmer, the anxious and irregular beating of his heart was reduced to a slow and steady thumping, but the hand he had brought up to pat himself was still there, arm resting against his chest as his palm caressed his shoulder over the fabric of his brown jacket. The touch felt soothing because in his mind, it was Pond holding him close.
“I miss you.. I miss you so bad..”
“I miss you too, Phu.”
“I didn’t think I would feel so overwhelmed, really it was stupid..”
“Stop right there. Feeling exhausted is not stupid Phuwin. It means you’ve worked hard and it means your body and mind needs rest, nothing about this is stupid." The firmness in Pond’s voice had managed to untangle the thread of uncertainty in Phuwin’s heart. It was such a simple thought, something he already knew but maybe he was blinded in the moment, or maybe he just needed to hear it from Pond.
“Right.”
The furrowed brows on Pond’s forehead relaxed a bit, “Do you feel a bit better?”
“A lot, actually. Thank you so much, Nara..” Phuwin closed his eyes, blinking away the last of fresh tears as they began to dry on his face, “The makeup is all ruined though.” he mumbled with a small pout, bringing his free hand back to watch his soiled fingertips from repeatedly rubbing them over his face.
“I texted your manager, she’ll be there in a few minutes.” Pond declared and Phuwin couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips.
“Wait, why?”
“You’re going home, Phuwin-” Phuwin had opened his mouth to protest but the words never made it out as Pond continued to speak, “and I am not taking no for an answer.”
“But the shoot needs to be wrapped up by today..”
“Nothing matters to me more than your health, Phu. When did you last have a proper meal? And no, coffee is not a proper meal. I know you probably skipped lunch too. And I know there is a coffee cup somewhere around you, probably the sixth one of the day.” Phuwin’s eyes landed on the half empty cup on the table, an involuntary sigh escaping his mouth as he slumped on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“I was right about all of that, wasn’t I?”
“Yeah..”
Pond exhaled a breath, something akin to a frustrated sigh but he wasn’t annoyed, he couldn’t be. Because he knew Phuwin and he knew his patterns. And so he did what he always did, he stayed by his side.
“I’ll be flying back tomorrow and when I come back, I want to see you at home, resting.”
“I cannot sleep properly without you,” Phuwin admitted with a low whisper, a natural tinge of pink dusting his cheeks, “It doesn’t feel good.”
Pond laughed at that, a low and melodious sound that seeped not just through his ears but also through Phuwin’s heart, “God, I wanna kiss you so bad right now.”
Phuwin’s nose crinkled as a genuine laughter bubbled through his own chest, “That does not help our case, Nara.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I do. But I cannot help it sometimes, I just want to fly back home and hold you close all day long,” Phuwin smiled at the image of Pond running back to him, the sight was far too endearing, “But it’s okay because I do feel at home right now.”
Phuwin tilted his head, a subconscious movement that manifested itself whenever he was confused, “Oh?”
“Because I am talking to you right now,” Pond continued, a small smile plastered on his face as he spoke, “because home was never just a place,” he paused, sighing with a fond look in his eyes, “it was always you.”
Phuwin smiled, a smile so wide his eyes had turned into tiny crescents.
“God you’re cheesy.”
“And you aren’t smiling right now?” Pond teased him back earning a giggle in response.
Phuwin groaned, biting the inside of his cheek with a wide smile still evident on his face, “I hate you..”
“And I love you.”
Phuwin bit down on his lower lip, trying and failing to hold himself back from smiling. It was all he ever wanted, all he ever wished for. Because even if there was distance between them, they always knew their home would stay the same.