Chapter Text
Thanatos had no reason to do what he did.
None of them had any reason to do what they did.
The last time I saw that sight was the very first time I’d escaped from the Underworld. The breeze of the mortal realm was…strange. Cold, like in Elysium’s, with a trace of warmth from the rays of the sun. There were so many more sounds too.
The rustling of the leaves, chattering of creatures unknown, the sound of the water, the crashing of waves against shores, the shuffling of my feet against snow, grass, then sand.
Textures beneath my feet. Gods, I’d never felt sand between my toes. It was…strange, but I didn’t hate it.
The waters of the mortal realm were lighter than what I was used to. Styx would pull back for a little bit, weighing down after regenerating an entire soul. This water slipped through my fingers and felt like a mystical, delicate blanket.
…
They had no reason to do all of this.
Everyone wanted to help me, I understood that. They were trying to help me recover from all the things I’d gone through under Chronos’ rule. Thanatos led the endeavour and told me to take a vacation- either with him or anyone I wanted.
The first time he’d asked, I simply told him that I didn’t mind going anywhere as long as he stayed by my side. Yet, he made me pick. When I finally caved, I said I wanted to try going to the mortal realms and live as a mortal for a bit. I wasn’t lying, but I was half-serious.
I didn’t think he would do it. I made the impossible request thinking he would give up after being refused by the primordial gods. Nyx had to have known how dangerous this was. Father too.
No…somehow, he pulled it off.
My feet weren’t engulfed in fire. My eyes were still mismatched, but my right eye was white. My hair was long, messy and spiky as always, but my laurels were gone. My complexion was fairer, less deathly.
I didn’t think I would ever get to see this.
“What do you think?”
I turned around to meet his gaze and…I couldn’t find any words. Thanatos was always charming, but seeing him this way was beyond me. His skin was dark, yet shone in the light like steel. His golden eyes were piercing still, but warmer and gentler now. How? How was someone capable of being this beautiful in any form?
“...you look amazing.”
“I meant everything else, Zag”, he rolled his eyes. I missed his laughter so much, I didn’t even care about looking stupid.
I laughed too. “That’s amazing too.”
I turned back to the endless sea, stretching out ahead of us. I could breathe the air up there and actually hold my own. It smelled different than usual. Salty.
This…realm. This dream. Whatever this was…it was a testament to how much everyone wanted me back.
…I almost felt guilty just for being there, just for asking.
“I didn’t think you would actually make this happen”, I muttered.
Thanatos walked beside me and knelt down. He dug through the sand for a bit and pulled out a small white fragment of…something. When he handed it to me, I couldn’t help but feel awe. It was a seashell, small and delicate with engravings carved by nature. I had seen shells before, but this one was so fragile and beautiful…I wanted to take it back home with me.
“It’s my responsibility to give you everything you need”, he smiled up at me. “If that means giving you a vacation as a mortal, why not?”
“But…was Nyx okay with this?”
He shrugged. “She set this up. She and Lord Chaos made this realm and everybody else was more than happy to help move it along. Apparently, the primordial void of all creation likes you.”
Ahh…right. I forgot about that. “Do they, now?”
It was odd.
Nothing about this world was real, yet it all felt so true. Exactly the same as if I’d just escaped the Underworld and walked free. I was almost anxious about my inevitable demise, but it never came. That feeling stayed far away.
“Everyone wants this for you, Zagreus.” He stood up and took my hands. Thanatos’ hands were always cold, but now…was it because he was mortal? It felt nice. “We won’t stop at anything if it means helping you recover. So…don’t worry about anything else. Take as long as you need to. We have nothing to look forward to and no deadlines to meet.”
For some reason, those words made me feel guiltier. True, I had asked this of them, but should I have let them go this far? As much as I wanted it…
“Right…”
I think Thanatos noticed what I was going through when my hands tightened around his. He lifted my face up by the chin so I could meet his eyes.
“You deserve this”, he said. “Completely.”
…he could read my mind. That was my first thought- Thanatos could read my mind. Or perhaps I had simply become that predictable. Either way, I smiled back at him and nodded.
“If you say so.”
He pouted. “No. You do. Say it.”
“Wha- why do I have to say it?”
“Say it! We’re not going anywhere until you do! Say it.”
I groaned and tilted my head in defeat. Thanatos’ stubborn side was adorable, but I really didn’t have the energy for it. I couldn’t argue about this.
“Fine. I…” I blushed. “I deserve this.”
Well…that smile was worth the argument. If it meant making Thanatos laugh, I could tell myself a few white lies. He set this up for me- him and all the other gods- so the least I could do was say something that simple.
Embarrassing as it was.
I think Thanatos was more excited about our first day there than I was. I’m not saying I wasn’t, but he kept taking me by the hand and running along the beach. He wanted to show me all the little things mortals loved so much about this place- from the water, to the sand, to the shells, fishes and fauna. Maybe he wanted me to cheer up.
Seeing him that way was more than enough, though. At least for now.