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Cassie knew the look in both their eyes, the two brothers’ body language creating a self containing energy field pulling the,selves to each other. There were things they shared with each other that she couldn’t understand- didn’t even know if she wanted to understand, no matter how much she loved Dean.
She plastered a smile on her face and went to grab the singing kindergartener in the next room. Plopping Amanda in the master bedroom with some crayons and a coloring book, she went to the patio where Cas stood, watching the flowers and bees. A stress response he’d had as long as she had known him.
“Any idea what’s going on?” Cassie asked him.
“Sam’s sick. I can’t tell with what, but I can feel it from here. I assume he’s telling Dean, if we’re both out here.”
He was quiet, impatient, but they both had learned to let the Winchester brothers deal with their issues between themselves first. Cassie slipped an arm around Cas’ waist, pulling him closer and kissing his neck nonchalantly. They stood there until Amanda came out, her warm copper-colored skin shining in the sun, curls everywhere as she ran out, unaware of the emotional mess unraveling in the household. “Papa!” she called towards Cas, who picked her up, their identical blue eyes locking with each other (Cassie and everyone was still unsure how that happened). Cassie’s eyes followed the familiar freckles on her daughter’s skin, stomach aching to reassure Dean about whatever was going on.
She’d know soon enough, so she stayed with this portion of her family, watching the sun drop in the horizon.
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It was Cas’ day to pick up Amanda, so Cassie was starting dinner for her boys and little girl. Dean had been holed up in his room all day, yelling at different insurance agencies, doctors, lawyers, and even occasionally Sam. Cas, Cassie, and Dean all technically had their own rooms, but most nights the three of them laid in Cas’ room- the biggest in terms of both space and the bed size. Amanda’s room was next door, which was especially convenient when she was too young to sleep through the night.
Dean came down to the kitchen, unshaven jaw set angrily. Passing a cup of water to him silently, she sat down and looked at him, waiting to him to supply whatever had been going on all day. Instead, he leaned into her and started sobbing. She held him, watching the water the potatoes were in boil over, flames shooting, making no move towards the stove.
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Dean’s room was stripped of his personal possessions, and it looked much like the day they all moved in 8 years ago. First the hospital bed was delivered, then a nurse came by to set up equipment and give directions, Cas following with what items Sam had wanted to keep after selling most of his stuff and breaking the lease on his apartment. Amanda came in with some drawings and playdough sculptures “to cheer Uncle Sammy up!,” and then Sam was there. He was smaller, slowly wasting away and seemingly shorter than before. Dean helped him into his bed, pretending to complain about helping his little brother again. Sam cracked a smile, stating “No vigils, jerk,” as Amanda bounded in, excited her uncle was staying with them.
Dinner found all 5 of them at the kitchen table, reminiscing over sanitized-for-Amanda memories. She knew monsters were real, and that all of her parents and her uncle made them go away. Still, a 5 year old didn’t need all the details. Sam started laughing while telling the story of how he and Dean had unexpectedly ran into Cassie on a hunt. Unbeknownst to the brothers, she had started hunting and was tracking down the same werewolf they were. Amanda demanded the story of when Cas and Cassie met, which they left to Dean, who was the best at telling it while omitting Cas’ falling and the painful aftermath. Cas fussed over the girl during the story, Dean putting a reassuring hand on his back, to help calm him.
Sam started coughing, but waved the attentive adults’ concern off, excusing himself from the table. Still, Cassie followed him a few minutes later with his unfinished dinner and drink.
“Daddy, what’s a vigil?” she heard Amanda ask Dean.
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The new normal was stressful, emotionally draining, and incredibly awful at times, but that’s what family was for, right? At least, that’s what Cassie thought at bad times. She had no idea how she’d do this with Dean if it wasn’t for Cas. Cas often said he didn’t know how he’d do it without her. Dean, for the most part, acted as stoic as ever, but let them take care of him, and Sam. And that was better than they had hoped, to be honest.
A nurse came in 3 times a week to check in on Sam. It would have been more often if it wasn’t for Dean dropping ever non-family commitment for Sam. Cas and Cassie worked out their schedules around Amanda’s school and Sam’s medical needs. Most days, Cassie picked up Amanda, but Cas was the one who most often had parent-teacher meetings. So she was surprised when a staff member pulled her aside.
“Ms. Robinson? I talked to your- I talked to- Castiel the other day. About Valentine’s Day?” Shit. This is going to be about the 2 dads and 1 mom thing, isn’t it? “Sorry to bother you, but I had some artwork of Amanda’s that I thought we should talk about.”
In her hand was an attempted crayon drawing of the the family- Cas, Cassie, Dean and Amanda, around Sam in his hospital bed with an IV. At least, knowing their home situation, those things were easy for Cassie to pick out. Above it, in neat teacher handwriting was, in quotes, “Love is watching someone die. - Amanda Winchester-Robinson, age 6.”
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When Cassie finally managed to pry Dean from the room, Cas boxed up all of Sam’s things he had brought in just a few months ago. They all knew to burn everything, but there would be a time and place. The nurse came and arranged for all the rented equipment to be returned, stopping to give Amanda a lollipop and Cassie an empathetic glance.
Amanda’s grandmother took her to the park. And like that, their house was quiet. Still, even- besides the shake in Dean’s body, unvocalized sobs pounding into Cassie and Cas as they held him. Empty without the beeps, the mumbling, the doors opening and closing as one of them checked in with or kept Sam company.
Cassie knew Dean would curse his father, God, hunting, whatever out loud and yet actively, inwardly, blame himself. She was worried Cas would blame himself, his de-powered angel abilities, lack of allies who were still in good standing with Heaven. But the two of them would have to be there for Dean, and for Amanda, who’d lost her only other non-parent family member besides her grandmother.
Despite feeling weighed down in every bone in her body, Cassie arranged a simple cremation and burial. A few friends of Sam’s and several hunters came, giving condolences to Cas and Cassie, but most especially Dean. He insisted on shoveling the dirt back in himself and luckily Cas had bribed the cemetery caretaker beforehand. Dean had been completely silent the entire day, and had barely spoken to any one in the week leading up to the event, save for his little girl. Now, she sat in his lap, head leaning into his chest and arms wrapped around his neck as they both stared at the freshly covered ground. Cas had his arm around Dean’s shoulders, hand on Amanda’s arm, gaze following theirs. Cassie watched them for a few minutes before joining them, pain multiplied by the interwoven grief of her family.