Work Text:
Christmas 2001
Bright, colorful Christmas lights surrounded her as Emma Swan walked through the park on the 24th of December. She had been out of prison for approximately 2 weeks, and in that time, she had made her way to Florida. Tallahassee, to be exact. She wasn't really sure why this was the first place she decided to come to after being released. Part of her had hoped Neal would be here waiting for her. Maybe it had been some huge misunderstanding, and he would be there by the beach waiting for her with open arms. She was wrong.
When she arrived in Tallahassee, not only was there no beach in sight, but there was no Neal. And as much as the idea of him abandoning her hurt, it was nothing close to the excruciating pain she felt for the child that she would never get to hold.
It had been a little over 3 months since she had given birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Though she had not looked at him in the hospital room, she saw him in her dreams- his head of beautiful brown hair that matched his fathers, his chubby cheeks, and his little button nose. Every day since his birth, she had woken up with an aching feeling in her chest that lasted until she cried herself to sleep the next night. All she had to do was close her eyes, and she could see him perfectly.
It was now Christmas Eve, and while most new mothers were preparing for their baby’s first Christmas, Emma was alone and living out of her car. As she watched other happy families walk by her in the park, she dreamed of her little family that could have been.
Suddenly paralyzed by grief, she sat down on a nearby bench ans began to cry. She cried for her little boy who she would never meet. Cried for the man she loved. Cried because he abandoned her. Cried for all the times she had been abandoned. And cried because she would always be alone.
All of the sudden, she felt a tapping on her shoulder. A little boy, no older than 5 or 6, had noticed she was upset.
“Why are you so sad?”
Taken aback by the child, Emma responded with silence. She stared into his little brown eyes, filled with so much kindness. So much love.
“Don't be sad. Santa’s comin’ tonight. He’s gonna bring PRESENTS!” The boy spoke with so much joy and enthusiasm, that Emma could not help but smile back at him.
“You're right, kid,” she nodded, “so what did you ask Santa for?”
The little boy smiled up at her and spoke with certainty, “I wished for my mommy to be happy.”
Almost immediately, Emma heard a female voice frantically calling out. She looked up and connected eyes with a woman who spotted the little boy practically sitting on Emma’s lap, and rushed towards them.
“Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I turned around for one minute and he ran off. Thank you for keeping him safe. Again, I'm so sorry.” She spoke quickly as she picked up the dimpled face little boy, hugging him closely and whispering in his ear as she walked away.
As the woman and boy left, Emma thought about what he had said. He wished for his mommy to be happy. She thought back to her own little boy. Would he just want for her to be happy too? Emma had no idea how she could possible find happiness, but she knew she had to figure it out. For her son, she needed to live her life and make him proud. Even though she knew she would never see him again, she would do it for him. She would do anything for him.
As she stood up from the bench and continued to walk through the park, she noticed a stand selling homemade ornaments. On the corner of the stand hung one that caught her eye. It was a tiny picture frame that said “Baby’s First Christmas” around the edges. Without even thinking twice, Emma grabbed the ornament and bought it with the little money she had. Once she got back to the bug, she grabbed a box that was hidden in her trunk. It was full of old memories. She carefully dug through the box until she found what she was looking for, a sonogram. She placed the photo inside of the newly purchased ornament and held it close to her heart.
Emma laid in the back seat for what felt like hours, listening to Christmas music playing quietly, and staring at the ornament. She looked up at the clock and noticed it was officially Christmas.
“Merry Christmas, kid,” Emma spoke into the empty bug while clutching the ornament, “I'm sorry I'm not with you for your first Christmas. Or any christmases for that matter. But I love you so much. I always will. And I'm gonna do better for you. I promise.”
With that, Emma fell asleep holding the picture held in her child’s first and last ornament that she would buy. When she awoke the next day, she placed it in her box of memories and put the box back in her trunk. As she got in the front seat of the bug, Emma took a deep breath. She decided to leave Tallahassee today, and while she didn't know where she was going next, she would keep her promise to her son. She would find her happily ever after. And while it might not be in the way she had expected, with Neal and her baby boy at her side, she would find it some day. It would be difficult, but she’d make her kid proud.