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You saw my pain, washed out in the rain
Broken glass, saw blood running from my veins
But you saw no fault, no crack in my heart
And you knelt beside my hope torn apart
Felicity sighed as she stared down at the calendar on her tablet.
Five months.
Five months had passed since the night half of the Glades had crumbled to nothingness.
Five months of the city being on-edge; crime rates skyrocketing with each passing day. The Glades looked like a war-zone. Half of it was still standing, barely touched by the devastation while the other half was in ruins.
Five months since Felicity woke up to an email one morning from her bank stating that her check of 1.5 million dollars had cleared and had been deposited in her account. She’d read the email five times before it all sank in. Her fingers had hit her speed dial, the familiar face and name popping up on her screen, but there’d been no answer.
Five months of no answer. Only a note left on one of the monitors in the Foundry.
“Thank you.” - O
Felicity had almost ripped up the note; torn it to shreds as the tears trailed down her face. But she hadn’t.
Instead, it stayed in the Foundry. Next to her computers. Her new computers.
She’d refused to use that money for herself. If Oliver Queen thought he could just pay her off, and forget their team ever existed, he was wrong.
Every night, she watched as the city grew worse. Cops were dying on the streets. Kids disappearing, and women being mugged on a daily basis. Corrupt lawyers flocked the streets of the Glades, promising retribution and payment from the Merlyn and Queen families. The people who bought into it and paid the fee were left with nothing but unkept promises.
Four months ago Felicity had made up her mind to use the money to upgrade the Foundry.
He wasn’t done. He may have thought he was, but he wasn’t.
Felicity had seen something in Oliver from the very first day; something deep within him that told her he could be trusted - that he was a good person. Beyond the brokenness and the innocence that had been stripped from him on that island, his heart was still in the right place. He wouldn’t be able to turn his back on problems like this for long. And when he did return, she would be there. Their Foundry would be there. Waiting.
Every week after her regular work day, she had made time to head down there, drawing up prints on the computers and then deciding on new lighting, display cases, medical supplies. She upgraded their computer systems, as well as indulging in a top of the line 3D printer.
Her nights had been spent redesigning his bow. Using what her knowledge of his old one and the research she did on new designs, she revolutionized it - integrating new technologies with the feel of his old weapon of choice.
The research she had done was tedious and covering her tracks had not been easy especially the first month when she didn’t have the safety of the Foundry and the security system it had. But in the end, when the finished product was in her hands, she knew it had all been worth it. She hoped one day, he would think so too.
Not long after Queen Consolidated reopened, Felicity had been promoted.
She was floors above the IT office now and oversaw all the IT development for the company. Her knowledge of new technologies was put to good use and her days were filled with meetings and designing new interfaces and security systems for the servers. In a way, it was a combination of what she’d been doing for Oliver and Queen Consolidated during the previous year. And it was rewarding in ways she hadn’t expected.
No one had told her why she’d been promoted. But she knew who had made the call. Even if he’d never called her.
She’d been in contact with Diggle. He had acted elusive at first. Felicity knew he was keeping Oliver’s whereabouts to himself. When she begged him, he just sighed and asked her not to put him in that position. She had agreed and had met for lunch every week since then.
Finally, Oliver had turned up on the news. The first glimpse of him she’d had in months was of him heading into QC’s headquarters in Europe. According to the media, he had been doing a tour of the offices abroad, making sure investors and stockholders had updated information and so they would not lose hope in the company. She had buried the hurt that throbbed in her chest that he hadn’t even tried to contact her to let her know he was okay. Diggle had given her a sympathetic look the next day at lunch, but she’d said nothing.
With the upgrades done and the club back open under Thea’s control, she’d still found herself at Verdant daily. If not to interact with Thea, then to work in the Lair. It was familiar. It had somehow become a part of her. She and Thea had formed a fast friendship, after getting of the initial awkwardness of having to explain to the girl how she knew Oliver so well and why she knew the layout to the club like the back of her hand. In time, Thea had opened up to Felicity - expressing her anger and annoyance with her brother. Roy, Thea’s boyfriend, had stepped up and helped with Verdant’s re-opening, helping with the day-to-day operations of the facility. Somehow, Felicity had managed to keep them out of the basement until she’d gotten the false wall in place. She’d been able to alter the construction plans to include a false wall for extra storage. The extra $5,000 she’d added to the payment of each worker didn’t hurt either.
In addition to everything else, she had even started dating. So far none of the men she’d been matched with had stuck, but it felt good to not be dwelling on the past anymore. She needed to move forward.
And then she got the email. A meeting called by Oliver Queen, himself, for nine o’clock sharp in the board room. All head personnel were to attend.
He was coming back. He was taking an interest in the company.
So many thoughts flew through her head. But the biggest one of all was that she was going to see Oliver Queen again. He was going to be within touching distance - close enough to run and throw her arms around him distance. Slapping across the face for disappearing on her and making her worry distance.
Her fingers froze over her keyboard, her stomach clenching at the thought of seeing the man who had infiltrated her dreams for the past five months - not that her dreams hadn’t been riddled with him before that, of course. The man she’d just managed to stop asking Diggle about every week. That man who’d waltzed into her life, handed her a bullet-ridden laptop, showed up in the backseat of her car bleeding, told her he was the vigilante, made her a part of his team and then disappeared out of her life again.
She’d thought of this moment time and time again. What she would say. How she would react. Would she slap him or hug him? Ignore him or unrelentingly babble about everything she felt. If she had to guess, she’d go with the latter.
She was still very much hurt by his actions.
Hurt that he’d just left. She hadn’t been completely surprised, but she had been hurt. He didn’t even say goodbye. He just left her a two word note, and put 1.5 million dollars in her bank account, as if that had been what their friendship had meant.
It had stung. It still stung and although it had lessened over the months, the pain was still very much present.
Five months. He’d really been gone five months.
Pushing back from her desk, she gathered her tablet and headed for the door. The meeting started in ten minutes. She wasn’t going to be late.
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she pushed her golden hair away from her face, adjusted her glasses and squared her shoulders. Taking one last glance around her office, she headed out the door.
Her hands became clammy as she neared the board room. And she paused just outside the door to collect herself before reaching for the handle and striding in.
He looked good. Crisp tailored suit fitted to his muscular body. Chiseled features hidden underneath a day’s worth of stubble. Blue eyes still as crystalline as ever.
He still carried the weight of burdens though. The furrows in his brow and tension in his shoulders told her that immediately. His eyes cut to hers briefly and she saw something flash within them before he turned his attention back to the brunette who was seated to his right.
Felicity couldn’t help studying the woman. Her face was familiar - as if she’d seen her somewhere before. Oliver’s gaze on her was intense, but she could see the telltale signs of his mind working behind his business mask. She wondered what he was thinking about. There was a hint of distrust in his gaze, so minute that she was sure no one else would catch it, but it was definitely there. Whoever he was talking to, it was someone he didn’t completely trust. That knowledge immediately put Felicity on edge because regardless of her feelings toward Oliver at the moment, she still trusted his instincts; trusted him.
When he started the meeting, she allowed herself a moment to revel in the sound of his voice. It was his commanding business voice, but still his voice - deep and rich, demanding and charismatic all at the same time. He used his trademark smirk more than a few times and she schooled her features to not show her slight annoyance. The usual mask was firmly in place, but Felicity found herself aching to see the real Oliver underneath it all. How was he really doing? What was he really feeling? She hoped she’d get to find out the answers to those questions. She hoped he would let her back in because despite her anger at him for disappearing, she missed him.
They were halfway through the meeting when the door banged open and Oliver abruptly stood as three masked men stormed the room. Gunshots rang out, and Felicity jumped, her eyes flying to Oliver who was looking straight at her.
She knew that look. It hadn’t changed. He was in an internal battle with himself. He wanted to react but knew he couldn’t. It wouldn’t fit with the Oliver Queen that everyone outside she and Diggle knew. He had to act helpless as if he couldn’t disarm all three men easily with a few quick maneuvers.
The next thing she knew, he lunged toward her, and she was under the table in less than a second. His body was warm and heavy on top of hers. His familiar scent surrounded her and the effect was immediate. Her body calmed, her breathing regulated and she was able to think. His presence represented safety to her, even after all these months.
A few moments later, everything was quiet and Oliver was gone.
She jumped up from where she lay on the floor to see the devastation. Broken glass crunched under her feet and frightened employees peered up at her from beneath the table. The brunette was gone as well and that’s when she saw Oliver talking to her in hushed but angry tones across the room.
Her eyes swept the room and she noticed Diggle standing in the corner, his eyes trained on her, gun drawn. His look told her everything she needed to know. He cocked his head towards Oliver’s office and she knew she should follow him.
Fifteen minutes later, she was in Oliver’s office, staring at his back as he leaned against his mahogany desk.
Diggle stood behind her. No one spoke.
“What happened in there, Oliver?” Diggle finally asked, and Felicity was relieved someone broke the uneasy silence.
She could see Oliver tense, his shoulders straightening from under his tailored suit.
“I don’t know,” he said through gritted teeth.
Felicity pulled in a deep breath, so many things inside her wanting to be released.
“Well, I don’t think this is random. You show up in town again after five months away and three masked men shoot up your conference room within a few hours? Might want to consider some recon...” Diggle began to suggest as he took a step forward, eyebrows raised, his underlying message clear.
“I didn’t come back here to be the vigilante,” Oliver breathed out, voice so low it was almost a growl. “I’m done with that.”
Diggle sighed. “I’m not saying you did. But I think you need to realize that there are quite a few people in this city that don’t really like you right now. Being the vigilante had its perks... including keeping people safe.”
Oliver turned then, eyes blazing. “I told you, I did not come back to Starling City to be the vigilante!”
“And I respect that,” Diggle commented diplomatically with a sigh.
Felicity had heard enough and cut Diggle’s next comment off, surprising the two men with her interruption.
She stepped forward, squaring her shoulders, and spoke up.
“I don’t.”
Her statement hung in the air as Oliver’s eyes cut over to her, narrowing. But he couldn’t intimidate her. Not anymore. He hadn’t been able to do that for months before he left. It wasn’t going to work now.
His eyes held hers for what seemed like ages, and she could feel the blood pounding in her ears as the adrenaline pumped through her. She waited, desperately wanting him to say something, anything.
“I’m not that person anymore,” he finally declared softly, and briefly she saw his mask drop and glimpsed the anguish that still lay beneath.
Despite everything in her telling her to stand firm, she took a hesitant step forward, reaching out to him, her hand finding his arm.
“I know you don’t want to hear this,” she began calmly, eyes boring into the back of his head, willing him to face her - hear her, “But I still see that goodness in you that I always have. It’s there. You’re hurting. Hell, we all have been. But Oliver, three men shot up your conference room today dressed in hoods. There has to be a reason... They wanted something. They didn’t kill anyone. They were there to send a message. What was it? Don’t you want to know?”
“I can’t be The Hood anymore,” he whispered, looking at a point past her. “Tommy... all he saw me as when he died was a murderer. I don’t want to be that person.”
“Then don’t.” she replied honestly, squeezing his arm to return his attention to her. “Be the hero. Be the person this city needs. Help the city you came back to save in the first place.”
He let out a deep sigh and turned away from her again, crossing to the large floor to ceiling window that looked out over the sprawling city.
Felicity glanced at Diggle who nodded at her in encouragement.
Minutes passed before Oliver turned, facing them. “Fine. Maybe we can do this...but things have to change.”
Felicity couldn’t stop the grin that rose to her lips. “Oh, things have changed.”
The words slipped out before she could stop them, but she didn’t regret them.
She felt both men’s stares on her as she walked to the door, and left them to follow in confusion.
Diggle drove them to the Foundry in the black sedan that was parked outside the front entrance to QC. Felicity rode in the back with Oliver and couldn’t stop twisting her hands in the hem of her blue dress.
Now that they were actually headed there, her nerves were eating away at her. What if he hated it? What if he took one look at it and walked out? What if...
Oliver’s hand came down over hers and her eyes flitted up to his. A frown creased his features as he looked at her, worry present in his eyes. She tugged her hand away. Hurt danced in his eyes before she looked away and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Her fingers tingled where he’d touched and she drew in a deep breath to steady herself at the numerous thoughts that began winding their way through her head.
She wondered, briefly, if he noticed how she had changed.
In the days after the Undertaking, she’d needed a clean slate. She went for a new hairstyle, even wore her contacts for a few weeks before realizing she just couldn’t stare at a computer screen all day with them in. Trips to the mall - not using Oliver’s money - brought a new wardrobe. Fitted dresses in various colors, new heels and new glasses.
She needed to start over. She needed to forget. But knew she couldn’t. She never would.
And now as they sat in the back seat of his car, headed back to the foundry, she wondered if he noticed. But then again, she reminded herself, why would he.
Their arrival at Verdant broke her out of her thoughts and she tilted her head up to look at the building that she still called her second home.
Silently, she exited the car and waited for Oliver. He paused as he climbed out, his eyes roving over the familiar building and taking in the new and old.
He frowned at the graffiti along the wall. She and Thea had tried to stop it. Their calls to the police had been unhelpful. They were too overwhelmed to worry about a little graffiti. In the end, it wasn’t worth it.
She ignored his questioning glance her way, and walked purposely toward the back entrance. She pushed her thumb against the pad and waited for validation before typing in the code.
Diggle whistled low behind her, and she felt her lips turn up. They were in for a big surprise.
It was dark when they entered, but they all knew their way down the stairs and Felicity reached the light lever first.
The room was bathed in fluorescent glow, and both men exchanged looks when all they were met with was a room lined with boxes of alcohol. Then she noticed Oliver narrow his eyes and stare at the far wall.
His eyes glanced in her direction as he walked towards it, Diggle following closely behind.
“The room’s smaller,” he commented, his fingers reaching out to touch the false wall.
Felicity smiled and crossed over to where they stood. Diggle and Oliver turned to look at her in surprise as she walked to the corner and reached behind a stationary crate built into the wall, quickly typing in another code on the hidden panel.
As she pressed enter, one part of the wall began to slide open, revealing a larger area behind. felicity motioned for both men to enter before following and tapping the code in on the other side to close the door behind them.
Darkness enveloped them and Felicity’s fingers closed in over the second light switch that had been installed.
“So,” she commented, apprehension tingling up her back, “I made a few changes, obviously.”
In one swift motion, she flipped the lever and light bathed the room. What once had been a fairly crude set up of metal tables and a few computer screens was now transformed into a professional lair for someone whose mission was to save the city.
Blue lights hung from the ceiling in a rectangular shape lighting up the area. To one side sat a bank of computers; new screens, servers and keyboards. Codes ran across the screens and the hum of the servers made Felicity smile at the comforting sound. On the opposite side was another table that held some of the upgraded tools and medical supplies she’d had delivered to various places around the city under false names and records. Adjacent to the computers and medical supplies was a tall glass case where Oliver’s suit hung, complete with quiver and arrows. The tears and holes had been sewn up and she’d added an extra layer of non-flammable cloth that would help protect him in extreme heat situations as well as an extra zipper near the back for when they needed to get it off of him quickly.
Next to the case, there was a long, black box sitting atop Oliver’s old wooden chest which she’d made sure to keep untouched.
Felicity waited, holding her breath as she watched Oliver walk into the center of the area and look around. His gaze swept over everything, taking in each piece of equipment, every new feature and detail, and finally landed on his suit.
Finally, he turned, his eyes finding hers, and the look reflected in them made the breath catch in her throat. His mask was down, his emotions on full display. He was her Oliver again. Secrets and all, and back here with his team where he belonged.
“Felicity...”
It was the first time she’d heard him say her name since that night. And she let his voice wash over her, realizing for the first time, how much she’d missed his voice.
“I know it’s a lot,” she began to babble, afraid of what was going to come next, “but I couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. It needed to be done. It couldn’t sit in ruins and I knew you’d be back. I know it’s a lot to take in. But trust me, coming back here in the first place wasn’t easy either. Cleaning out the rubble without people getting suspicious of what was down here. Everything had to be removed first before I let anyone near it. Thankfully, Thea let me help her redo the club and so I had access. And before you start in on how you don’t want to do this again or you want to know where I put all your other precious stuff, let me show you around...”
“Felicity,” his voice cut through her rambling and she stopped, seeing the slight smile on the corners of his lips.
“Right...” She clamped down on her lips, momentarily.
He turned full circle, taking everything in, and then she saw him glance at Diggle who just shook his head. He didn’t know about this at all.
“I...” he started. “This is amazing, Felicity.”
She beamed at the compliment, a breath of relief rushing out of her.
“Where did you get the money?” he suddenly asked, frowning in her direction.
She tilted her head at him, giving him a knowing look.
The moment it dawned on him, his expression turned darker. “That was supposed to be for you. Not this...Not...”
Felicity held up a hand, taking a step forward to stand her ground, “You gave it to me. Thought you could what? Pay me off. I chose what I wanted to do with it.”
Oliver looked taken aback by her words. His eyes shuttered closed and his hands flexed by his sides.
“It wasn’t a payoff...” he said quietly, eyes opening and staring straight into hers.
Felicity shrugged, turning toward her computers and typing in a few commands. “Well, that’s exactly what it felt like.”
Diggle coughed to interrupt them, a knowing grin on his face. “Now that things are back to normal...where do we start?”
“I’ve already been keeping tabs on a few different reports of ‘hooded men’ attacking places around the Glades,” Felicity stated evenly, ignoring Diggle’s first comment and making hand motions to act as if she was pulling on a hood as she pulled up reports on the screen. “So far they have evaded the police.”
“I’m running some facial recognition scans from the security tapes I was able to pull from QC, but it’ll take a few hours,” she added, turning to look at him.
“Sounds like we’ll need food then,” Diggle nodded, heading for the false door. “Burgers sound good?”
“Delicious,” Felicity replied, and Oliver only grunted in response.
“Be back soon,” Diggle called before striding to the door and pausing.
A moment later, he lifted his head and sent Felicity a silent plea for help. She chuckled and pointed toward the camouflaged box to the left of the wall. “The code’s 4892.”
Diggle gave her an appreciative nod and then disappeared, leaving the two of them alone for the first time.
She felt the tension as soon as the door closed behind Diggle. She kept her eyes fixed on the computer screens in front of her while she heard Oliver move about the room.
Every inch of her body wanted to turn towards him; see what he was doing and try to read his thoughts, but she didn’t.
After awhile, she felt his eyes return to her, and her keystrokes became more deliberate, trying to ignore the weight of his gaze.
She wondered what he was seeing as he looked at her. Everything she wanted to say to him came rushing back to the forefront of her mind, and suddenly she couldn’t concentrate. Her thoughts were running wild as she replayed the last two hours in her head.
His voice interrupted her thoughts and she jumped in her seat. “You’ve changed.”
She closed her eyes, trying to calm the stuttering of her heart before turning towards him.
He was closer than she thought, standing near the computer tables, arms folded across his chest. He’d rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up halfway, exposing his well-toned forearms.
“In some ways. In some ways I’m still the same person I’ve always been, Oliver.” Her voice was quiet, tired for she was tired. So exhausted from everything. A good night’s sleep had evaded her for the past five months since the Glade’s fell. She wouldn’t admit to Oliver that her best sleep came here, in the basement of Verdant on the couch she’d picked out. Not yet, anyway.
“Your hair’s down,” he stated, his gaze fixed on her face and she could feel the beginning of a blush.
She shrugged her shoulders, “I needed a change. After everything...”
And then her voice broke and she grimaced, biting down to force the emotions away. “You’re not the only one who had to deal with stuff after that night, Oliver. And some of us couldn’t just run away from it all. Some of us had to keep getting up every morning and go to work and pretend they didn’t know anything about why what happened, happened - pretend they were at home like they were supposed to be and not trapped beneath a club in the middle of the Glades while it was coming down around them.”
Her anger sparked, and she was on her feet in an instant, finding his gaze and holding, refusing to let him turn away from her this time. He needed to know how she felt. He needed to know what this city went through while he was gone; what she went through.
“I woke up the next morning to an email about a ridiculous amount of money in my bank account and a note - of two words - taped to my dust-ridden computer screen,” she yelled, her voice shaking as she reached for the note and threw it at him. “1.5 million dollars and two words is all our friendship meant to you? Oh, and the promotion. Let’s not forget that. Which, yes, I appreciate, but it would have meant so much more for you to actually tell me; be there. And then you were gone. No phone call. No message. No way for me to know you were even still alive except for Diggle’s elusive answers. And then you pop back up in Europe at the corporate headquarters. The first time I know you’re actually alive and well. Five months later, I see you for the first time in a freaking board meeting and I get shot at...”
She started pacing halfway through that rant and she wasn’t sure how to even stop now that she’d begun because there’s so much bottled up within her. So much.
“So, yes, I changed, Oliver. I started wearing my hair down. I got new glasses because the others were damaged. I bought some new dresses - tried to forget the last eight months of my life, but then I realized, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. So I came back here. And I worked. Because that’s what I do. I try to fix things. Even when the problem’s not here, or there’s no one here to help, I try to fix things. It’s the only way I could fix me...”
And with that she looked up, her breath ragged, tears stinging at her eyes but she refused to let them fall; refused to let him see her that broken.
The expression on his face was blank before it crumbled. And then she saw everything. The sorrow, the regret, the guilt. It was all there. And despite her anger, her heart went out to him - ached for him.
Her shoulders fell and she turned away from him because if she kept looking at him, she’d end up doing something stupid. Like running to him, throwing her arms around him, trying to take away all his pain. She wasn’t sure he’d accept that comfort right now.
Moments later, his voice echoed around her, soft and unsure. So unlike him, she wasn’t sure if he’d really spoken.
“Do you regret me? This...” he paused for a few seconds as if trying to find the right words, “Helping me?”
A shuddering sigh left her body before she turned to him, and she was stunned by the absolute need she saw in his eyes. The need to know if he had completely ruined her life.
A small chuckle bubbled from her throat, awkward in the space around them, but it was that or a sob, and she shook her head. “No, because you made me better. In ways I didn’t even know I could be. Helping you gave me more confidence and a sense of purpose that I never had. I realized I could help people - truly help them. I could never regret that. Or you. Ever.”
Not able to look up at him for fear of losing it, she turned back around to the computers.
She heard shuffling behind her and then strong hands were pulling her towards him, arms wrapping around her waist. He turned her and she was instantly fitted perfectly against his body. Felicity couldn’t help but tense at first. She had longed for this comfort; ached to comfort him. But he had run. Away from the pain. Away from this city. Away from her.
She felt him shudder beneath her and her walls disappeared. She relaxed against him, and she finally accepted the reality of the situation. He was back. He was here with his arms around her, holding her close, breathing her in, alive and safe.
A sob wracked through her body and soon she was crying, the emotions of the day too much to handle. Tears streamed down her cheeks and into the starched fabric of his dress shirt. Her fists balled up the material in her hands and held to him tightly.
Felicity heard the soothing words he whispered against her ears and all she could manage in reply was a small nod.
“I’m just glad you’re back.” Her words were muffled and broken between sobs, but they were the truth.
His muscles tensed and she wondered if she said the wrong thing, but then he was holding her tighter. She could feel the apology in his actions; the message clear and simple. He was sorry. Sorry for leaving. Sorry for running. Sorry for abandoning her.
Oliver held her for a few minutes longer before she pulled back, and he caught her gaze as she did.
“What?” She asked shyly when he continued to gaze at her. “You’re doing that staring thing again.”
His fingers brushed through strands of her straight blonde hair and she held her breath.
“I like it,” he murmured, and she smiled softly.
“Thank you,” she replied before stepping completely out of his arms, knowing that spending anymore time there would be bad for their friendship.
She felt the loss of his warmth as she returned to her computers, and heard him shuffle away towards the wooden chest in the corner.
When he stopped, she cast a glance his way to find him staring at the picture sitting in the case along with this suit.
Questioning eyes turned towards her and she attempted a shrug and a sad smile.
“He never cleaned out his office after he left. I found it there before the contractors came in and everything had to be cleared out. I figured you might want it eventually.”
She bit her lip at the end of her explanation and waited anxiously, hoping he wouldn’t be upset. At some point, she knew he would appreciate having it. But the wounds were still relatively fresh and the turmoil still great within his eyes.
“It’s from opening night,” he mused aloud as he retrieved the picture from the case and held it in his hands almost reverently.
She stepped closer to him, hands twisted in front of her; torn between reaching out to him and letting him be.
“It’s a good picture,” she told him softly, coming up behind him and laying a gentle hand on his broad shoulder. “I know you wish things had been different... I know you want to make him proud; to be something other than what he thought of you when he died.”
Oliver tensed at her words, but she continued on, needing him to hear this. “And you can do that, Oliver. I heard him too that night, you know,” she admitted, and his eyes flew to hers.
She swallowed at the look of confusion and motioned to her ear, “Comms... you didn’t turn yours off.”
He let out long slow breath and his eyes slid shut as if he was reliving that moment.
“I failed him,” he finally whispered brokenly. “I failed my best friend.”
Felicity blinked back the tears that swam in her eyes, and tightened her grasp on his arm.
“No, his father failed him. This city failed him. You tried to save him. He would never want you to think that,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around the breadth of his back and pressing her face against the crisp material of his dress shirt once more.
“Don’t do this to yourself all over again, Oliver. Please,” she begged, not wanting to see him go through all the pain and torture she knew he’d already put himself through.
He let out a ragged sigh that she felt reverberate through his entire body before he slowly nodded his head.
“For Tommy,” he murmured. “I’m going to make this right, for Tommy.”
Felicity smiled against his back, tightening her hold on him before letting go.
Oliver gently set the picture frame back in the case and turned towards his chest. Atop it lay a large black crate and he turned and raised an eyebrow in her direction.
“What’s in there?” he asked, putting what had just happened behind him and moving forward.
She blinked at his sudden change of topic before biting her lip at the anticipation that ran through her. In that box was the bow she’d redesigned for him, and she could only hope that he didn’t hate it.
“Something I’ve been working on,” she finally replied, motioning for him to open it.
He undid the latch slowly and tipped back the cover. His eyes roamed over the new black bow and his eyes rose to meet hers in awe.
“You designed this?” he murmured, his voice a low whisper that sent a shiver through her.
Her lips ticked upwards as pride swelled within her. She could only nod, words getting lost in her throat for the moment.
Oliver turned back and carefully picked up the bow, turning it in his hand, inspecting it as if it were a rare and valuable gem. She watched as his eyes flicked over every inch and detail. His fingers roved over the underside and paused when he saw the tiny Chinese characters etched into the side - the same ones that had been on his old bow. Felicity had been thankful she’d googled them once, curiosity getting the better of her.
“Felicity...”
Her breath caught in her throat and she prepared herself for his critique.
“It’s amazing,” he stated evenly, adjusting it and holding up so that he could nock an arrow.
Breathe fell out of her and she started rambling before she could think to slow down.
“It took a lot of research. My knowledge on bows is limited, but I wanted to create something that you could use as well as stow better for when you’re on your bike or in a tight spot because let’s face it, you get into those too many times for my liking, but that’s beside the point...”
Her rambling was cut off as she heard arrows slicing through the air. She stared at Oliver as he let the arrows fly one by one into the target across the room, his form perfect as ever, his gaze hard and determined.
The last arrow split the first, and he stopped before looking at her.
Her eyes were wide and she knew she was staring. “Um... right, okay. I forgot what that was like.”
His brow furrowed and he cocked his head at her.
She blushed crimson and turned around. “You know... you arrowing and all. Intense... hot...” she mumbled under her breath.
“Playing with new toys before I get back, I see,” Diggle commented as he stepped into the light holding two bags from Big Belly Burger.
Felicity’s stomach grumbled and she grabbed for one of the bags and opened it, humming in approval as the aroma of fresh fries hit her nose.
“That is pretty impressive, Felicity,” she heard Diggle comment and turned her attention back to the two men standing to her right.
Oliver was watching her with a strange look on his face while Diggle inspected the bow.
“Thanks,” she replied happily before beginning to set out the food on the glass table in the center of the workspace trying to ignore the feeling of Oliver’s eyes on her and the feelings that knowledge brought about in her.
“The 3D printer over there helped a lot, but it wasn’t easy to figure out what would be the best of the best,” she commented, laying out each person’s meal on the clean surface of the table. “Especially without our weapons expert.”
She threw Digg a look at that and he smiled in response. “You could have just asked, you know.”
Felicity ducked her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t know how either of you would take this. So I just did it by myself...”
A warm hand landed on her shoulder and she almost jumped at the unexpected contact. When she turned, she saw Oliver gazing down at her, his blue eyes alight with something akin to unadulterated gratitude as if he couldn’t believe she would do all this for him.
A whisper of a smile ghosted across her lips and she nodded, silently telling him she understood.
Diggle came to join them and she moved, Oliver’s hand falling from her shoulder to pull over her chair from in front of the computers.
“Thanks,” she murmured as he held it out for her to sit before taking a seat himself next to her.
Diggle took a seat on the other stool and the three of them dug into their food. They made comfortable small talk as they ate. Oliver asked about the reopening of Verdant and Felicity encouraged him to go upstairs and take a look around. She also nudged him about talking to Thea - she’d missed her brother.
Diggle filled them in on Carly and AJ, the little boy getting ready to start first grade in the fall. His last soccer game of the summer was set for later that week and they all agreed to go.
When they had finished, Felicity began to clear the table as both Oliver and Diggle went to explore the new training area.
It was Diggle who approached her first, as Oliver continued to inspect each of the weapons and lingered around the arrows and his workspace for forging them.
“This is really impressive, Felicity,” he told her, taking a seat in the empty chair at her desk of computers.
She smiled easily at him, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I couldn’t sit around and do nothing, Digg. Watching everything happen - dealing with the aftermath - I didn’t know how I was going to manage until I decided to do this.”
“I should have known something was up,” he replied, shaking his head as he grinned at her, “There was a change in you awhile back. Like you’d come to peace with things. It was this, wasn’t it?”
Felicity smiled and nodded. “I think so. But I never would have gotten through these last few months without you, John.”
Her hand reached out and covered one of his large ones that rested on his knees. “Thank you,” she whispered softly, a knowing smile on her face.
Diggle returned the smile before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Anytime, Smoak. You know that. Now, I better get to work cataloguing all the new weapons...”
Felicity nodded. “I created a database for them, but I figured you would want to go through them first.”
Diggle snorted, “Of course you did,” he murmured before walking and disappearing around a corner to find the all the new storage.
It could have been minutes or hours later that she felt another hand on her shoulder. She’d been trying to hack into the FBI database again to run searches on the names that had popped up from the facial recognition scan.
She spun abruptly in her chair at the contact, her leg instinctively kicking out as if she was being attacked.
Oliver jumped backwards and placed a steadying hand on the chair before throwing her a questioning look.
“Sorry,” she shrugged sheepishly. “I was working down her alone for four months. I got used to being alone. Anyone sneaking up behind me these days, I just assume is an intruder. I guess I’m going to have to get used to people again...”
She frowned as the words left her mouth, “Not that I’m not used to people...I’m not a hermit. I’m just more cautious I guess...”
Oliver chuckled and she stopped mid-sentence and glared up at him. But the smile on his face was so genuine that she couldn’t help but laugh softly too.
“I missed that,” he admitted, removing his hand from her chair.
Felicity cocked her head to the side, eyebrows raised. “You missed my rambling nonsense?”
He smiled again, that soft smile that made her insides do somersaults, “Yes.”
“Well, I think that’s the first time anyone has told me that,” Felicity replied, shaking her head in disbelief. “Even my parents say I need to get control of my rambling thoughts - not to mention my complete lack of brain-to-mouth filter, especially around you.”
Oliver sitting down in the chair to her right made her pause, and study him. “You didn’t come over here to tell me you missed my ramblings.”
Oliver smiled, but shook his head. “No. I came over here to tell you thank you.”
“I think you already said that,” Felicity told him good-naturedly, brushing off his words, and going to return to her now beeping computer.
But Oliver’s hand on her arm stopped her, his skin sending bolts of heat throughout her body.
She stared at his hand for a moment before raising her eyes to get lost in the blue depths of his.
“No, Felicity,” he told her earnestly, “I shouldn’t have run. I shouldn't have just left you a note and money and disappeared. I do that and you do all of this.”
A chuckle of disbelief escapes his lips and he runs his free hand through his hair. “I don’t deserve you.”
The words strike deep within her. She shakes her head in confusion. “Of course you...”
Oliver stopped her words with a finger to her lips. “No. I don’t. I was selfish and thought only of myself. I couldn’t stay here. Couldn’t face everything that I failed. But I left you and Diggle to do that - not realizing how much guilt you both carried as well. And while I’m off trying to forget my mistakes, you are here fixing them. I don’t deserve you, Felicity Smoak. But, I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”
His words hung in the air around them and she stared at him, trying to comprehend exactly what he was telling her. There was an underlying meaning to them, one she’s not sure she’s ready to hear. But her heart soared and her lips curved upwards into a light smile.
“Well, it’s a good thing you won’t have to find out, then.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper and unsteady with her overflowing emotions.
The smile he gave her would light up an entire city, she was sure. Her hands reached for him without thinking and quickly found his rough calloused ones. Intertwining their fingers, she looked down at the picture they made, strength mixed with smarts, interwoven until they were one.
Oliver squeezed her hand then bent down and placed a kiss over their interwoven fingers. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening at the gesture, but she could see he was seeking absolution from the guilt that was eating away at his heart.
Bowing her head, she rested her forehead against his hair and breathed. She felt his shoulders relax and a tear slip over their joined fingers.
Tightening her fingers in his, she knew they would be alright. Together, they would make it through.
So give me hope in the darkness
and I will see the light
Cause, oh, it gave me such a fright
but I will hold as long as you like
just promise me we’ll be alright