Chapter Text
The fact that Simon and Five were ‘married’ shouldn’t bother Sam all that much. It was all a joke really. Simon ‘proposed’ with a ring he won in a vending machine. Joke was him though because Five accepted it and hasn’t stopped wearing the ring since. And the two of them certainly acted like an old married couple. Always bickering, bantering, and generally being softly affectionate in a way that was not exactly what you’d probably not expect from the two.
Even though it wasn’t (and they both admitted it) official and they weren’t actually tied to each other, neither had been involved with anyone else since their ‘engagement’ and subsequent ‘marriage’. And this was especially unusual for a person like Simon. He used to have a new interest/conquest every few days it seemed. But not anymore. Nobody had seen him flirting with or heading home with anyone since this thing with Five.
No one was even there for the marriage. Five simply made a (rather impressive) wedding band from wires taken some of Janine’s spare’s box and Simon has worn it everyday since.
The hardest thing was that no one could figure out whether the two of them were joking or not. A plastic and recycled metal ring weren’t exactly legally binding as holy matrimony goes. But they act like they are together, and also like the best of friends. To be honest, it’s a pretty solid relationship. And Sam is definitely not jealous of it.
Sam is sitting up on the bleachers on his laptop as his runners pound the track. Well he says his runners. He’s just a manager. But they all consider him a part of team. He’s not sure why, but it makes him feel at home.
He can always tell when Five and Simon are rounding to his side of the track. They are always making tons of noise while running together.
“You just like outrunning me cause you think I will look at you butt. But I can assure you that I’m definitely not looking.”
“That’s really your loss then Lauchlan.” Five calls over a shoulder.
“Excuse me! I am a gentlemen, I only look at butts when I have permission.” Simon shouts, picking up speed as Sam looks up.
“Who ever said you didn’t have my permission?” Five spins around and jogs backwards. “We are married after all.” She puts up a hand and indicates to the plastic ring.
“That’s true. Does that give me permission of anything else?”
“Catch me to find out!” Five’s voice fades as she rounds the corner and Simon laughs and speeds up to give chase.
Sam watches them go then turns his attention back to his computer. He’s got to organize the reservations for rooms when the team goes to a competition in a few weeks (He’s doing this while ignoring his engineering homework). He’s making certain there’s enough rooms for the runners to only be doubled up in rooms. In Sam’s experience, three or more runners left together in a room meant trouble. Two just cut down on that if he paired them off correctly. After thinking about the other matchings for runners, he contemplated putting Five and Simon together, because Five was the only one how could keep Simon in check without hurting him.
He shakes his head quickly at the thought. He didn’t even want to think about if or what the two of them do behind closed doors. How real did this fake marriage get?
With a shutter, he returns his attention to the reservation on the screen. No, he’ll put Five and Simon as far away as he can.
But of course after he says this he starts to feels bad. He looks up again and sees Five and Simon running on the other side of the track. Even from the distance, he can tell Five is laughing loudly with Simon fast behind.
Simon makes Five happy, so that should be good enough for him. And he shouldn’t be jealous of what they have.
Focusing on his work again, and actually getting something done he doesn’t notice when he becomes surrounded on both sides.
“Sam. Five and I’ve got an offer you most certainly won’t want to refuse.” Simon ignores Sam’s jump and wraps an arm around his shoulders and hugs him close.
Sam would try to pull away, because Simon is sweaty and smells gross, but he knows that he won’t be able to get away.
“What is this time?” Sam questions.
In lieu of a verbal answer, Five passes him a flier very obviously ripped from a bulletin board.
Sam takes it and reads over it silently.
“A zombie mud run?” He asks, getting two beaming faces in response.
“Yeah! It’s like one of those obstacle courses but you get chased by zombies.” Simon gushes.
“That doesn’t seem like it would actually be very fun.” Sam counters.
“Not in real life anyways.” Five adds quietly.
“But this will be super fun. Look, you can even get paid to be a zombie.” Simon points excitedly at the paper.
“You guys want to play zombies in a mud run?” Sam looks at both of them.
“No, we want to run from zombies,” Five responds.
“But you could make some money if you come with us,” Simon continues.
Five and Simon aren’t quiet to the point where they finish each other sentences. But they are still pretty in sync.
“Okay, but why are you inviting me?” He finally struggles away from Simon and he lets him go.
“Because all the other runners aren’t able to come during the break,” Simon begins.
“And I happen to know you need an excuse not to go home for the break.” Five smiles at him, but there’s a touch of sadness to it. “You’re parents like me. If you say you’re with me, they’ll be pretty cool with that I gather.”
Five is one of the few people who knows his whole sob story, after a long phone conversation in the middle of the night.
“So, what do you say Sammy?” Simon queries.
“This place is like two thousands miles away. How are you even planning getting there?”
Five and Simon share a mischievous and conspiratorial look.
“Road trip?” They say at the same time.
******
In the end, Sam did agree to go on the trip. Not to Simon, only when he and Five had a free moment together when Five was trying to force him to study. Inevitably Five asked him if he thought about the trip. And after being caught by Five’s expectant look, he had said yes without exactly meaning too. Not that he didn’t want to go on a trip with Five; he loved spending time with Five. He was more concerned about being stuck in a car with Simon.
He liked Simon, considered him a good friend. But being in a car with him would be close to torture. He could only imagine the jokes. And the puns. Oh God, the puns.
Being third wheel to the ‘married couple’ could be very awkward too. They seemed to have a game where they would say the most embarrassing things they possibly could trying to make the other one blush first. Sam hasn’t seen either of them break before, though he certainly lost.
But he knew Five and that was not likely to happen. Five’s usually thoughtful like that and can keep from taking Simon’s bait easily.
So the road trip couldn’t end up being that bad… Right?
******
So with bags stuffed in the back of Simon’s car, the Yao Family appeased thanks to Five (Sam’s family really likes Five, considers Sam’s hanging out with Five a good influence for some reason), and enough snacks to keep two runners with fast metabolisms and Sam fed they’re ready to roll out. They’ll be taking shifts driving in order to get there and back within the break.
“Alright, let’s get the show on the road!” Simon reclines himself in the passenger seat. Five volunteered to drive first, naturally. Sam has been pushed to the back seat at Five insisting that he has to get homework done.
“I promised your dad that you would do work, so get to work.” Five reminds him when he asks why he’s not navigating.
“Okay, okay. Just make sure Simon doesn’t get us lost.”
“You wound me sir!” Simon dramatically clutches his stomach, receiving an amused look from Five.
“Headphones on, Sam,” Five says sternly.
“I’m putting them on,” Sam assents. After he places them on and focuses on his notes, he can’t hear what Five and Simon are saying, if they are saying anything. He glances up every once in a while to see that they’re chatting, with is normal he supposes.
He does get a bit of a surprise when he sees that Simon and Five are holding hands. He pulls a headphone off to tune into things and realize they are singing a dramatic duet from the playlist, one that he knows states hand holding. So it’s not too weird. When the song is over, Simon lets go.
“Man Five, your hands are sweaty,” He complains while wiping his hands on his pants.
Five, looking indignant, punches his arm with a feigned gasp.
“You’re one to talk swamp monster.” Five comments, throwing a sort of endearing glance over at him then returning eyes to the road.
“That was lame,” Simon chuckles.
“I know, shut up.” Five counters.
They laugh together for a bit before going quiet. Sam places his headphones back on and tries to work again.