Chapter Text
(6:13PM, Tsukasa’s room)
Tsukasa checked his phone,
No texts from anyone.
“Aauughh!!” Tsukasa threw himself back onto his bed. School break was suppose to be used as a way to recharge yourself, but he only ended up feeling more stress than ever.
No show plans, no updates on anyone, nothing. He was honestly starting to feel a bit lonely - but of course he would never admit that.
Tsukasa was a future star, stars are suppose to shine so brightly that it filled up the midnight abyss with light, but what do stars do when they’re not shining? What do stars do in that dark abyss so far apart from each other? What purpose do they serve when the sun shines for them? Tsukasa’s eyes felt heavy, he put his phone down next to him and curled himself up on his bed.
“Shows… I wonder what Emu, Nene and Rui are doing.. maybe they’re thinking about shows too..?” Tsukasa rolled himself on his back and stared at the ceiling. “No, they’re probably busy with other things. A star like myself just has to preserver! I need to think of some ideas for shows myself.”
Tsukasa sat himself up, he began to look around his room for inspiration.
His bed? A show about sleep? “Nope.”
His wardrobe? A show with lots of costumes? “We have costumes anyway, no..”
His— KNOCK! KNOCK!! KNOCK!!!!
“Tsukasa! I’m home! I’m coming in!”
The door swung open, and a cheery young lady made herself at home by plopping herself onto Tsukasa’s bed.
“Oh, Saki. I thought you were practicing with your band mates?” Tsukasa scooted himself to face her.
“Ahh.. well I was but Honami completely forgot she needed to housekeep for Ms. Yoisaki today, then we were planning to hang out in the SEK— I-I mean in the park nearby, but we decided to practice another day instead!”
“I see..” Tsukasa’s eyes drifted off to his wood floor, Saki lowered herself to get into his line of vision.
“Brother? Are you okay?” She looked concerned, Tsukasa was quick to answer.
“Oh, I’m sorry I’ve been pretty tired lately, this must only be the consequence of stardom!” He forced out a dramatic laugh, however Saki didn’t seem too convinced.
“Brother, you haven’t gone out much these past few days.” She held his shoulder, “How about your friends, hm? Emu and the rest of your troupe! Why not ask to go out with them?” She smiled.
“Well..” Tsukasa looked at the wall behind her. He wanted to ask, but he thought they’d have better things to be doing. I mean the amount of homework that they had to complete, and with everyone’s usual routines…
“…You’re right, Saki. Thank you, I’ll ask my friends.” He smiled brightly, however it was filled with pure paranoia. He didn’t want to reach out, but if it meant he was upsetting his sister by not asking, then he’d ask. I mean.. what’s the worst they can say?
“Fantastic!” She brought him into an embrace, “See, Tsukasa? If you’re ever lonely remember your friends are always there for you. That’s what I always think anyway, ah, and me of course!”
He put his arms around her and hugged her back, “Thank you, Saki, but really I must assure you that I am not lonely.” Tsukasa exhaled as he rested his head and smiled into her shoulder, a smile which she would never see didn’t reach his eyes. “Nevertheless!” He shot back up and held her shoulders firm. “I’ll do just that then! I’ll ask them if they’re free tomorrow!’
She pulled back and began to rise “I’m glad, brother!” Saki exclaimed as she gradually reached for the exit. “Tell me what you guys do tomorrow! Love you, Tsukasa.” She exited and closed the door, waving on her way out.
“Yeah.. I will.”
SLAM!!
…
Tsukasa reached for his phone and stared at its home screen. “…I’ll just ask if anyone’s free tomorrow.. surely someone will be, I guess it would be good to get out of the house.”
Tsukasa unlocked his phone and went onto a group chat consisting of Emu, Nene, and Rui. He typed:
Tsukasa: “HELLO EVERYONE! I have a proposal! I say tomorrow the four of us go somewhere?! Possibly a cafe? Or a park?! Maybe we can come up with some new show plans!! Get back asap!!!!!!” Anddd…
…Sent.
“Phew.” He sighed in relief.
‘Im glad I did that, maybe Saki was right, maybe we’ll all make plans and go somewhere together. Great!’ He thought. “Hey Saki!” He called as he ascended himself from his bed, “Wait for me! I’m coming, let’s make dinner together!”
Tsukasa left his phone on his bed and sprinted downstairs, only letting time give him the answer he wanted.
…Or didn’t want.
Emu: ‘“Oh no, Tsukasa!! I’m so sorry!! Me and Nene already made plans for a date tomorrow!! I don’t think we’ll all have time to go out together since school is soon!! >_< Waahh!! I’m so sorry!!!!!”
Nene: “Yeah, we’re sorry. Maybe we could rearrange for another date after school starts? Sorry.”
Emu: “Yeah!! Don’t worry, Tsukasa!! We’ll go out together soon!!! :DD”
Nene: “Maybe in the next 2 weeks.”
Emu: “Mhm!! That’s not toooooo long! :((( I feel so bad but we’ll all go out together! Promise!!”
He knew it.
He didn’t want to tell himself that, but he knew it.
Not long later, he responded:
Tsukasa: “DANG!!! What a shame!! That’s okay, girls! You go enjoy yourselves. We’ll rearrange soon :)”
It was late. He put his phone down on the side and laid back on his bed, he wasn’t tired anymore, he was drained. He closed his eyes.
——————————————————————-
(11:46PM, Rui’s room)
“Hm? What’s this?” Rui had just finished inventing a new miniature robot, he was quite proud but with all the time and effort gone into it he hadn’t gotten a chance to check his phone.
“A message from Tsukasa?”
He brought his phone closer to him and leaned back on his chair.
‘I haven’t heard from Tsukasa in days,’ He thought, ‘Oh, Emu and Nene are busy too.’
He paused.
‘For tomorrow? Ah, .. I’m free tomorrow. Do you recon Tsukasa would be okay just going with me?’ He pondered to himself, ‘Well of course, I am Tsukasa’s director and friend, I’m sure Tsukasa won’t mind only being with me.’
He opened a private chat with Tsukasa.
Rui: “Hello Tsukasa, I saw what you said about inviting us all out on the group chat, but since Emu and Nene declined, would you like to go out with me tomorrow instead?”
…
He changed his phrasing.
Rui: “Hello Tsukasa, I saw what you said about inviting us all out on the group chat, but since Emu and Nene declined, would you like to go somewhere with me tomorrow instead?”
Yeah.
He sent the message.
Rui set his phone back down on his desk and inspected for any mistakes on his new invention.
——————————————————————-
(2:31AM, Tsukasa’s room)
Tsukasa shuffled in his bed, he had slept, but not much - or “not enough a star should get” as he would claim to anyone who noticed the bags under his eyes he so desperately tried to cover up.
“…mmgh..”
He sat himself up, droopy eyes melting down his cheeks.
“…Thirsty.”
He reached out for his phone in the darkness to use as a flash light to battle against the black abyss he was so oddly familiar with, when suddenly…
He rubbed his eyes. Then rubbed them again.
“..Rui?”
He returned moments later with a glass of water and laid back down in his bed, opening his newest message.
He read it through multiple times, he’d known Rui for years and they had quite a ‘close’ relationship, so he shouldn’t be surprised one of his closest friends said yes to going out for a day with him if he was free, yet after being let down and the already disastrous mood he was suffering with, it felt like weight being lifted off his shoulders and a piece of his heart being put back together.
Tsukasa: “Yeah sure! I’m glad you’re able to come, let’s meet at Shibuya crossing tomorrow at 2:30PM? Does that sound good?”
Tsukasa noticed Rui was oddly formal in his message, he usually sent him weird photos or the most random facts in the middle of the night on a school day (which Tsukasa would have to lecture the importance of sleep and how it affects your skin the next day to him). Maybe he was nervous? ‘Rui? Nervous?’ He chuckled to himself. ‘No way, he was probably trying to act mysterious.’
Tsukasa smiled to himself thinking about it.
However that was exactly what it was.
——————————————————————-
Just as fast as Tsukasa closed his eyes, marigold streams of light transmitted through his star print curtains, pulling him out of his tranquil state of rest.
‘Today is the day I meet Rui.’ He thought to himself as he propped himself up and began to slide out of his bed.
He made his way downstairs, fiddling with his unkept bed hair that he refused to let anyone see. He didn’t want anyone to see him other than perfect, a shining star, that meant keeping his appearance immaculate. He even tried to keep this act up in his own home, in front of his family, in front of Saki, in front of himself. But of course, looking perfect would be difficult at 8AM when all you want is breakfast, and so does Saki apparently.
“Good morning brother! I made pancakes for us, yours is on the table.” Saki couldn’t care less about how Tsukasa looked, scruffy or pristine, that was still her beloved brother, and that’s all she could ever care about. Tsukasa thought he knew this but.. something still lurked in the back of his mind telling him otherwise.
“Wow Saki! They look amazing, thank you.” He seated himself, Saki’s warm smile brightened his abyssal black mind. He rested his head in his hand as he tore apart his pancakes, feeling Saki’s gaze hovering over him as she began a conversation.
“Did you ask your troupe to go out, brother?” Tsukasa loved Saki’s company, he’s always tried his hardest to be the best brother for her, especially due to her rough childhood. He’d never want to upset her, and he’d never want her to pity him either.
“Ah, yeah.” He knew Saki would say how it was a shame all four his troupe members couldn’t make it, he also knew she’d feel bad since all her friends are usually free to go out all together, so it was easier to lie he assumed, just to protect her feelings (and his too).
“They’re all free to come! We’re going to meet up at around 2:30 at Shibuya crossing.” He smiled that smile everyone fell for, the smile Saki always fell for too.
“I’m really happy for you! See? I told you asking them out was a good idea, I hope you have fun today! Me and my band are planning to go somewhere today too, we’re not sure yet, maybe we’ll do some practice.”
Sometimes, Tsukasa found himself envying Saki’s relationship with her band. They all seemed so close, they never had to plan far in advance when they wanted to meet up, he was happy for her, he knew he was, so he pushed these thoughts as far back in his infinite, vast yet so crowded mind. “Sounds fun! Enjoy yourself, make sure you get home before dark, there should be food in the fridge you can warm up once you get back.”
“Thanks, enjoy yourself too Tsukasa!” She ascended from her seat, put her plate in the sink, and went upstairs to get herself ready. Tsukasa sat alone at the table, rolling a small chunk of pancake around with his fork. ‘I should get ready.’ He thought, and with that he finished his pancakes, followed Saki upstairs and went into his room, closing the door behind him.
——————————————————————-
Rui sat up, he must had fallen asleep on his desk last night. He winced as he rubbed the back of his neck and checked his phone.
He read Tsukasa’s message, ‘Why was he awake so early?’ He thought, but didn’t question it any further.
Rui: “Of course, I’ll see you there.”
It was 11AM right now, so he had a few hours before he had to be there. He stood up, and made his way to his bathroom to have a shower. His hygiene wasn’t bad, kinda just average, nothing special like Tsukasa’s.
…Tsukasa.
He wanted to be extra presentable today, he had no special body washes or anything though since he didn’t like the texture and overwhelming smells they produce once first applied, maybe he’d think more into it later.
For now he should focus on showering. He didn’t know why he wanted to look so well put together today, I mean he was seeing Tsukasa but he always sees Tsukasa, so.. what’s so different? It wasn’t until he realised he was just staring at the bathroom floor that he considered getting a move on. ‘Cmon..’ He mentally slapped himself, turned on the water and stepped in.
35 minutes go past, Rui steps out and makes his way back into his room to pick an outfit. He spent extra long washing his hair, he couldn’t figure out why.. he’s known Tsukasa for years, today just felt.. unlike the rest.
He’d typically pick the first thing he saw when he went out, but he shuffled in his wardrobe a little than usual today, making sure the shirt and trousers he picked actually matched.
‘Ahh.. this is so dumb. There’s no way Tsukasa’s putting this much thought into this. Tsukasa is just effortlessly stunning.’ He cursed himself internally within his busy mind, mindlessly staring at the clothes he’s chosen that are thrown out carelessly on his bed.
However he couldn’t be more wrong.
——————————————————————-
Head in his hands, stood up in front of his bed that was completely covered in different outfits, some even fallen onto the floor around him. Tsukasa felt like he was going to loose his mind, nothing was good enough! At this point he started to wish he told Saki he was just going with Rui and needed her help picking an outfit. Why was he freaking out so much?! Well of course he wanted to look his best but nothing was working! He’d had a shower not long after he went into his room after breakfast, he had dried his hair and now all he needed was an outfit.
Almost like he summoned his saviour, (the saviour he really didn’t want to see him in this state) Saki knocked on his door.
“Brother! You left your phone downstairs, I’m coming in oka—?” She shoved open his door and halted in suprise. Although Tsukasa had his hair brushed and was showered, his face really brought out the fact he was a complete mess. Before he could say anything she cut him off.
“I.. Uh- well your phone was vibrating and lighting up on the table, you have a lot of messages I assume so I thought I’d bring it to you!” She strolled over to him holding out his phone, still glowing with a smile.
“Oh! Thank you Saki! This..” Tsukasa directed his uneasy gaze away from her to his bed full on clothes as he fiddled with his hands.
“I’m.. just.. struggling with an outfit.” He chuckled nervously, still not looking back at her.
“I can tell.” She crossed her arms and smiled with joking sympathy, “Is it like this every time you all go out somewhere?”
He giggled. “Yea— well no, I don’t know..” He looked at her in defeat, not trying to cover his struggling any longer.
“Well, if you ask me I think this shirt would match well with these trousers!” Saki picked up two pieces of clothing and pressed it against Tsuaksa as if he was wearing it.
“Hm, I suppose you’re right..” Tsukasa admitted. “However I thought it would look better with these.” He picked up another pair of trousers and pressed them against him where Saki was, causing Saki to move the trousers she was holding away from him to observe the new pair.
“Oh! You’re right.. hmm..” she pondered momentarily before lifting her gaze up to him, grinning. “Seems we’re going to be here a while!” She chuckled, “Seems so..” Tsukasa grinned back, a rare genuine smile.
While Saki laid out possible outfits that could match, Tsuaksa checked his phone. She was right, the group chat consisting of Emu, Nene and Rui had been chatting not long ago. Tsuaksa logged into his phone and opened the chat. All three of them had been talking on there, was Rui already ready?! Surely he was ready if he had the time to text, it was only almost 12PM, there was still two and a half hours, but every second counts! Doesn’t it? If his anxiety wasn’t already bad enough, it definitely worsened once he read the most recent texts sent.
Nene: “Oh btw Rui, did you see what Tsukasa said last night about going out today?”
Rui: “Yes, I did. Me and him are just going out today alone.”
Emu: “:O Really?? Have funnn!!!! I’m super duper happy someone got to go out with Tsukasa, I felt reallly bad when me and Nene couldn’t :((“
Nene: “Me too. Have fun out there.”
Rui: “Thank you :)”
Rui: “Oh Nene actually, could I text you privately for a while?”
Nene: “Sure. Me and Emu are just sat on a bench right now in this flower field, you mind Emu seeing what you’re texting me?”
Rui: “I won’t keep you for long, and I intended on Emu seeing anyway. Mind if I call you?”
Nene: “Okay, Emu will listen to the call then.”
…Huh? Not only did Tsukasa feel slightly (very) left out, but now he was certain Rui was ready! And HE wasn’t!! Having time to call Nene, he definitely had time to kill. Was Rui not taking this as serious as he was? Was he putting too much effort into this? Did Rui just wake up and put on what he first saw? Tsukasa felt embarrassed and stupid.
“We gotta be quick Saki!” He spun around and threw his phone down on the clothes covered bed and put his hands on his hips and spoke in that demanding confident tone everyone knew him for. “Everyone’s already ready!”
“Already?!” She squeaked “It’s only 12PM!” She squealed in panic, both her and Tsukasa crowded around his bed and assessed which outfit would be the final pick.
——————————————————————-
“Seriously?!” Nene and Emu both shrieked over the video call.
“Do I.. not look good?” Rui questioned reluctantly.
Rui’s phone was propped up again the wall on his desk, camera pointing towards him. His hair was brushed neater than usual, his clothes were smoothed out and worn presentably, and.. was that a little blush and eyeliner?
“N-No! I-I mean, like, seriously? You want us to tell you if you look nice? I thought your appearance didn’t really bother you that much, why care now that you’re going out with Tsukasa?” Nene explained, Emu peering over her phone, eyes sparking at his little glow up. “Eeek! Cute!!” She exclaimed, making Nene flinch due to the squeal assaulting her ears.
Rui laughed nervously, he did care about his appearance, especially compared to his middle school days, but today felt.. different. He wanted to look nicer than he already did.
“Yes, but.. do you think Tsukasa will like it? I thought I’d try to put myself together a bit more today, it just felt right to do so.” He said smiling at the floor bashfully while fiddling with his sleeves.
“You idiot.. yes, I’m sure Tsukasa is going to like it.” Nene sighed in disbelief. ‘Really? Rui wanted to call over this? Since when was he so worried about his appearance in front of Tsukasa?’ She wondered.
Emu was too interested in the new look to care it seemed however. “Of course Tsukasa is going to like it! You look amazing Rui! Do a twirl do a twirl!!”
“Fufu.. thank you guys, I want to look my best today for some reason, I just needed your opinion.” Rui gazed at Nene and Emu through his camera with a meaningful smile, which they both returned. “Kind of like a date!” Emu blurted out.
Nene gave her a gentle joking shove, however once looking back at her phone.. why is Rui just standing there staring into the camera? His eyes were wide and his face was slightly more red than before. “Rui?” Nene asked, breaking him out of his trance.
“Oh— yes? Oh! A date.. ah…” Rui stared off into the distance for a moment, “I.. hm.” He looked back into thin air, gaze away from the camera.
‘Maybe this is something he needs to figure out himself.’ Nene decided, getting a hint of something she had been suspecting for a while now. “Alright Rui, we’re going to head off now, tell us how your ‘date’ goes.” She joked.
“Wait— No, it isn’t a date—!” Rui announced as he gained consciousness again.
“Bye~!” They both waved over the phone, then ended the call.
Rui was left staring at a blank screen. ‘A date?’ He thought. ‘I.. wouldn’t mind that… I don’t think. But…’ he paused once again. ‘I wouldn’t want to halt Tsukasa’s process of becoming a star. He puts his heart into everything.. so if he were to put his heart and effort into me…’ He picked up his phone. ‘A date…’ He lowered himself onto his bed.
‘If we were to go on a date, what does that make us?’
——————————————————————-
It was 2PM. Tsukasa would leave in about 10 minutes, he had something quick and light from the fridge as he planned to go to a cafe with Rui after some shopping. He finally decided on an outfit, not too ‘out there’ and not too plain either. He was basically ready, the only thing left to prepare was his mind. Why was he so nervous? Cmon, it’s only Rui.. that being said Rui turning up with a rocket in his bag wasn’t something that would surprise him, so maybe that was his reason for feeling nervous.
Oh yeah, speaking of a bag, he had to pack his. Just a simple backpack was all it was. Tsukasa rose from the couch put his bag on the living room table. ‘What should I bring..’ He thought. ‘Phone, power pack, keys, maybe a snack just in case… that’s probably it.’ He decided before walking around the house to find what he needed.
He wandered into his room and picked up a spray. ‘Oh and I’ll need this.’ He thought before spraying himself. It had a floral scent, it was calming. After spraying, he took it downstairs and packed everything. He decided now would be the best time to set off.
“Bye Saki! I’m off now!” Tsukasa announced while turning back around to shout to Saki inside the house.
“Bye Tsukasa! Have fun!” Saki waved from upstairs which Tsukasa copied in return, then swiftly left the house and locked the door behind him.
——————————————————————-
“Excuse me, mom?” Rui knocked on his mother door, his tone was uncharacteristically timid. His mom opened the door. “Yes, Rui? Something the matter?” She questioned as she looked up at him.
“Well, I…” He paused for a moment. “Do you have perhaps.. some perfume I could use?” He looked down at her, slightly red in the face on top of the already dusty pink blush he hoped she wouldn’t notice.
“Perfume..?”
Rui looked away, did she think he was weird for this? He didn’t have anything to make himself smell nice in the shower.. he just wanted to smell nice for Tsukasa—
She chuckled, “Of course, Rui. Come in, see which one you like.” She moved away from the doorframe and allowed him to enter. ‘Of course..’ Rui thought. ‘Why would my mother ever judge me?’
‘“What’s this one?” Rui asked picking up a small yellow bottle.
“That one smells sweet, like candy.” His mother replied, who was hovering beside him.
“Candy…” Rui thought.
“Could I use this one?” Rui turned his head to his mother, still a little embarrassed to be asking.
“Of course, you don’t need to even ask me next time, use what you’d like Rui.”
“Thank you.” Rui liked the scent of candy, maybe he’d get a perfume of his own
eventually. He sprayed it on himself.
“Oh, this is really nice.” He muttered to himself.
“I know, isn’t it? Why do you need it? Going out with a friend?” His mother questioned.
“Yeah, I am. Tsukasa Tenma.” He said his name gently, ‘Why am I acting like this suddenly?’ He thought, it bothered him, he wanted answers.
“How lovely! I hope you both have a great time, when are you meeting?” She asked.
“About 2:30 at Shibuya station.” Rui smiled thinking about going out with Tsukasa, he’d been in the house too quite a bit, it seemed nice to get out.
“Goodness Rui!” His mother gasped, “It’s already 2:20, you’re going to run to get there in time!”
Huh..
HUH?!
“Oh- Oh! R-Right, I’ll be off then. Goodbye mom!” Rui excused himself swiftly, putting his mother’s perfume down and running down the stairs to the door.
“Bye Rui, stay safe.” She waved him goodbye and watched him grab his bag and rush out the door. Rui was something else, his creations, his ideas, it was great he had a friend to speak with about them.
——————————————————————-
Tsukasa sat on a bench at Shibuya Crossing, his leg bounced repetitively and he checked his phone.
It was 2:32, he had no messages from Rui either. He was probably just being impatient, it had only been two minut—
“Greetings, Tsukasa.”
Tsukasa almost jumped out his seat, he whipped his body and swung his head behind him.
And— Oh!
Rui? Right, Rui was behind him, he figured that out, but..
“My stars Rui! You almost gave me a heart attack! What have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?”
He couldn’t keep his eyes off his face. He looked so beautiful. A little out of breath looking, almost as if Rui ran here (is that why he’s late?), but beautiful nonetheless. Rui is always good looking, Tsukasa will admit that, however it’s always ruined by Rui presenting that manic expression and shooting Tsukasa up on a rocket.
But right now.. Tsukasa at least hopes he doesn’t have a rocket with him.
“Fufu, my apologies Tsukasa. I hope I’m not too late, am I?” Rui checked his phone. ‘Only by two minutes..’ he thought, exhaling out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t any longer, he literally did sprint here after all.
Tsukasa rose from the bench and faced him, “No, you aren’t too late, it’s fine.” I’m just glad you’re here now.
“Alright. So, what’s on the agenda for today?” Rui grinned his cat-like smile, he walked around the bench to face Tsukasa properly, allowing Tsukasa to get an even better look at him.
‘Is that makeup? Damn, maybe I should have put some on too.. I could’ve asked Saki for some of hers.’ Tsukasa pondered for a bit too long, simply staring at Rui’s face. Noticing Rui being unable to maintain the eye contact anymore and turning his head away, it brought him back into consciousness.
“The plan is to go shopping and perhaps a cafe. Does that sound alright?”
“Of course.” Rui looked back at him. Should he have not put this much makeup on? I mean it wasn’t much but the way Tsukasa’s been staring…
‘But Tsukasa wears makeup sometimes when performing..’
Tsukasa brings Rui out of his head. “Shall we get going then?” Tsukasa smiled like the sun. He isn’t just a lonely star in the black abyss to Rui, he was the entire sun. If only Tsukasa could realise that.
Tsukasa began to walk, leaving Rui behind, before he stopped and spun his head around to face Rui.
“Oh! by the way, I like your makeup, it looks good on you.”
So he did notice.
“Ah, thank you Tsukasa.” Rui fidgeted with his hands as he smiled.
If only you knew I wore this for you.
“I didn’t know you wore makeup Rui, you’ve gotta show me how you apply yours sometime. Come on, hurry let’s go!”
Tsukasa took him by the wrist and began to journey down the streets to the mall.