Chapter Text
The taste of dirt mixed with blood was more familiar than Feng Xin wanted to think about at the moment. He groggily raised his face out of its muddy hole, turned it to the side, and spat.
His spinning mind slowly caught up with his surroundings. He was alone in a clearing in the middle of dense woods. Sunbeams shone down through the sparse branches above him. Below were puddles of mud, how much was water and how much was blood was unclear.
“The fuck happened?” Feng Xin mumbled groggily to himself.
There was a giant boar monster that needed to be slaughtered. Simple enough; he and Mu Qing–
Heart racing, throat tightening, he leapt up immediately.
“MU QING?!” He spun his throbbing head all around, wild eyes scanning the leveled terrain of broken trees and smashed greenery.
“Fuck! Mu Qing?! Whe–”
“Quiet! I’m right here, idiot.” His favorite voice hissed from behind him. He twisted around, relief spreading through him immediately upon meeting the obsidian eyes of his long time rival recently turned companion.
Feng Xin stepped forward and took Mu Qing’s hand that wasn’t still firmly grasped onto his body length saber. Mu Qing accepted the gesture, but averted his gaze, like he always did. Always.
Feng Xin was used to swallowing the rejection, though. Used to smiling yet getting no smile in return. It had been this way since Mu Qing’s near death confession of wanting to be “f-f-friends” with him and His Highness.
“What the fuck happened?” Feng Xin asked after clearing his throat and letting Mu Qing’s hand go. “Do you remember?”
“Mn, we were blindsided. Some opportunistic ghost has put up an array dampening our spiritual powers. So, your golden arrows fizzled out before they struck the boar when it charged. You took the hit full force and have been out since.” Mu Qing calmly explained while he dusted off his robes and finger combed his long hair the best he could.
“Fuck. What a little shit. Where are the boar and ghost now?” Feng Xin glowered.
Mu Qing pointed toward their right, where the giant beast laid a li away, motionless and bloodied.
“You took them both down by yourself? With no spiritual power?” Feng Xin asked, awe-stricken.
“Just the boar.” Mu Qing sighed. “Damn ghost got away… What? Not good enough to at least get one?”
Mu Qing finally met Feng Xin’s golden eyes, his own narrowing. Suspicious. Always suspicious and calculating. His lingering mistrust of Feng Xin was nearly tangible and felt as though he’d swallowed sharp rocks. Fuck, maybe he had.
“No! It’s– ugh. It’s still impressive, Mu Qing. And I’m… I’m glad you’re fucking okay, so just be normal.” Feng Xin groaned.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes as usual, but also put his hand behind his head and looked down.
“Thanks.” He mumbled.
“Y-Yeah.”
Without their age-old arguing to fill the silence, the air around them felt still and strange. Feng Xin’s heart raced as he watched Mu Qing finally sheave his saber and twist his silver hair up into a bun and pin it.
“We have to find the ghost now. We can’t do anything with this array up, and our spiritual energy is only going to get weaker.” Mu Qing started. “I have some medicine. Here.”
Mu Qing tossed Feng Xin a blue, glass bottle. Feng Xin knew it was Mu Qing’s own special medicinal potion he brewed himself and felt his face heat. He traced his fingers along it tenderly, until Mu Qing awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Uh, right!” He knew he needed to stop acting this way. He was a Martial God, a Heavenly Official! Not a schoolboy with a crush, damn it all.
“Are you alright? You’ve been… did you get hit that hard?” Mu Qing raised his eyebrow.
Feng Xin opened the bottle and let the mist surround his body, healing him as he let out a wry chuckle. “In a way.”
“Rest, then.” Mu Qing waved his hand toward Feng Xin and started walking away. “I’ll scout ahead, catch up when you can.”
It was not harsh. It wasn’t uncaring. It just was. And that hurt far more than the old bitter insults or punches to his face. So, despite feeling physically fine now, he did sit on a rock and watch Mu Qing wander away. His heart could use a rest.
Once Mu Qing was out of sight, a rustle came from next to Feng Xin. He responded immediately, raising his bow and securing it with an arrow from his quiver at lightning speed.
“Yikes!” The ghost yipped as the arrow let loose and left a long gash across his cheek. He vanished immediately then, surrounding Feng Xin with haunting laughter and shaking the remaining branches around him.
Feng Xin sighed. “You’re not scary. Just fucking come down here so I can shoot you and go home.”
The ghost clicked its tongue. “Tsk. So rude. So callous. You think you are special just because you are a god? I spit on the very idea of your godhood!”
“Don’t care. If you want sympathy, you should have bothered my companion instead. I don’t empathize with monsters or ghosts or anything that hurts others.”
“Mn, clearly, General Nan Yang. But the one you’re so smitten with does, you say? We’ll see about that.” The voice echoed from all around the branches. Feng Xin couldn’t exactly place where it came from.
“You don’t know anything, fucking ghost. Just shut up.”
“I’m sick of your hubris and cruelty!" The shaking and voice grew stronger. “You’ll pay!”
Suddenly a vine shot from behind Feng Xin, he barely dodged in time. The ghost cackled crazily. “Wrong move, dummy!”
A yelp came from the wood ahead as the vine pulled taunt. In the blink of an eye, it reeled back, like a fishing line having caught a giant carp.
Now, Mu Qing was wrapped entirely up with the damn thing and hanging upside down in front of Feng Xin just out of arm’s reach.
“What the actual fuck?!” Feng Xin cursed, lurching forward toward Mu Qing. Another vine sprung up from underneath, however, wrapping around his arm and pulling him back down face first into the mud. More came from below and strapped him down.
“Feng Xin!” Mu Qing cried out. “Stop fucking around! Don’t get hurt again, please!”
“This one says you will give me sympathy.” The ghost appeared between them, quieter now, facing Mu Qing. “Would you hear my tragic tale?”
Feng Xin could only imagine Mu Qing’s expression, but heard him take a deep breath before giving a strained reply.
“Fine. If you let my friend go, I’ll listen to you. He is already wounded and needs to heal.”
Feng Xin was dumbstruck for a second. It was the first time he heard Mu Qing say the word “friend” without stuttering over it. Its sound was gentle and warm, like a forgotten feeling of home.
“No!” The ghost spat. “This rotten god stole the one I loved! She was with child, soon to bear me a strong son, I’m sure. Until winter, she came down with a fever. I prayed. I had been devout to General Nan Yang my entire life! I prayed at his temples, gave him many offerings, but he ignored my pleas! She died, and I– and I–”
“You took your life in your grief?” Mu Qing pressed. It was silent for a beat, but apparently the ghost had confirmed because Mu Qing sighed. “I understand what it feels like to be ignored and alone. There are things even the strongest gods cannot change. Matters of fate. Many of us are fated to be… alone. But you can move on, and meet your love again in your next life. Let us go, repent, and move forward.”
The ghost’s cries grew softer as the vines around Feng Xin loosened. Feng Xin raised his face from the mud again, broke the vines from himself, and jumped to his feet with a ready bow.
However, the ghost was already dissipating. It was but a scattering cloud of ash, being blown across the clearing.
Feng Xin rolled forward and caught Mu Qing after the vines completely slackened and he fell. His arms pulled him close for half a moment, before he realized what he was doing.
“Fuck, sorry, sorry, I–” Feng Xin stumbled over his words until soft lips crashed into his own, cutting him short.
His vision blurred, his pulse raced, his thoughts froze like a pond in dead winter. He could feel Mu Qing’s tongue trace his bottom lip, smell Mu Qing’s floral hair oil, and feel his grip tighten around his neck.
But all too soon, all of it ended with a strong push against his chest. He fell backward onto his bottom, hazily taking in the beautiful, blushing figure standing above him.
“You! You! I– argh!” Mu Qing closed his eyes tight and grabbed the sides of his head, his anguish more dramatic than any playactor Feng Xin’d ever watched on stage.
“...Mu Qing, what…” Feng Xin stumbled slowly over his words. What could he possibly say? There was nothing inside his head, except the longing for the feeling he had experienced only moments ago.
“I didn’t mean–! I didn’t mean to!” Mu Qing yelled, gripping his chest and fighting back tears. “I was just worried, okay? So worried, again! First, that boar nearly fucking kills you, then the ghost grabs you! Why are you so useless today? You never used to be like this, why–”
“It wasn’t like it was my fault, asshole!” Feng Xin spat out. “You might hate me, but I–”
Feng Xin cut himself off with the memory of Mu Qing’s frantic kiss, raising his fingertips to his lips.
“Except… you don’t…” He mumbled and met Mu Qing’s wide eyes.
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His beloved friend grimaced, making Feng Xin burst out with laughter.
“Mhm. I’m sure you don’t. I don’t know what I’m talking about either.” Feng Xin stood up with a wide grin.
“Feng Xin, I swear to the Heavens if you–”
“Don’t fucking worry, I won’t do shit.” Feng Xin waved his hand, but then added blithely, “For now.”
“What do you mean, ‘for now?!’”
“These things must be done properly.”
“What are you talking about, Feng Xin?” Mu Qing groaned. “Look– it meant nothing! Nothing happened!”
Feng Xin only smirked in response, though. He crossed his arms behind his back and started walking through the woods back towards the town.
“Come on. We should return to Heaven now that the array is gone.” Feng Xin said wistfully.
Mu Qing was beet red, unable to speak for once. He rolled his eyes, but it lacked its usual disgust.
There was no need to rush things. All this time, Feng Xin had thought they weren't making any progress, but they had been. Now, he could go about courting Mu Qing properly, finally clear on how the other felt.