Chapter Text
Purple had always been close to Orchid, his mother, from a very young age. His father, Navy, was a complicated situation, as Purple seemed to cling to the logical conclusion that something changed in the midst of the family. Purple loved his family the same way they loved him in their own imperfect way.
Purple remembered this memory, a very, very important memory. As a kid, he walked to his parents' room and opened the door - getting on his tippy toes to reach the doorknob and even using his favorite butterfly-patterned blanket to wrap around the doorknob and pull. It was a trick Orchid taught in case Purple struggled with opening doors at his height.
Purple walked into his parents' bedroom and saw that Navy and Orchid were sleeping- which makes sense; it was midnight. Orchid struggled with her health for a very long time, so she needed rest... And medication, of course. Besides her was Navy, as always, just there.
Purple woke them up- or, well, Navy, because Orchid was resting. Purple watched as his father grumbled a bit before rolling over to the side to see that it was Purple pulling in his sleeve. Little Purple with a blanket too big for him in his arms.
He told his father there's a monster in his closet. Navy just stared and shook his head, saying that there are no monsters in his room. Purple frowned and tugged on his sleeve harder, saying that there is! He needs to see it!
Navy gave in, of course, because if Purple started crying, then it would wake up Orchid. Entering Purple's room, Navy just looked around until he laid eyes on the closet - so tiny and probably full of clothes and toys. Purple points at it, hiding behind Navy, saying there's a monster.
Navy sighs, tired, but for some reason he nods. For some reason, he stretched out his arms and rolled up his sleeves- like he's ready to fight. He says something;
"So there's some oversized jerk hiding in a tiny little closet box, scaring little kids? Especially my little kid?"
Purple watched as Navy quickly opened the closet door and jumped inside with a fist, the closet door shut, and a ruckus ensued. Purple heard Navy fighting the alleged monster, sounds of clothing hangers bumping and falling, toys flying, and Navy bumping against wall to wall.
"So you're the jerk, huh?! Come here-" a punch to a wall, clothing hangers swinging in the air, it was a battle, and Purple believed it. Purple had always looked up to his dad as someone strong, brave, and who knew what to do. At least.
The battle ended with a disheveled-looking Navy, out of breath from the battle, and tucked under his arm was.... A sweater? Folded and with Christmas patterns.
"Pretty tough but... I got the jerk." Navy held out the sweater, “and turned him into a sweater."
Purple gasped, amazed, seeing the spoils of war his father hands to him. A sweater of a monster - too big for Purple, of course, but it's the thought that counts.
"Now there are no monsters." Navy pats Purple's head. "But you better learn how to fight like me, you know? Because there might be more monsters out there that need to be turned into sweaters. And then maybe, you can make a really pretty sweater for mama, hm?"
Purple wanted that. He smiled so wide and nodded. He'll be strong like papa
Purple cherished that memory because it was evidence, in his mind, that things were happy. That his father did love him, even if it was just that singular moment of care when he was a mere child.
Purple hugs the dear moments, those moments that were golden; he hugs them close even if it hurts. Aim for the better goal, ignore the unimportant, ignore the yelling through the walls, the bills on the table when there should be breakfast, the space between mama and papa every time they lay in bed, the sound of the TV playing whatever….
Purple keeps the sweater even if he's now too big to wear it.
Inspired by his father’s words, he would then ask him if he’ll teach Purple how to be as strong as Navy. He wanted to be like his father and to fulfill his duties too once he grows up. He doesn’t notice the odd look that formed on his face, but Navy just smiled and nodded.Orchid, who watched from the background, seemed to frown.
Purple knows how hard Navy hits because Purple wanted to be strong; he knows this, Navy knows this, so it made sense- to Purple, for Navy to not hold back. To raise his voice for Purple to not give up. To ask Purple to be the bigger person- be the strongest.
Yet it still hurts, it still bruises, it still lingers even when it heals. Orchid continued to hug him even when Purple thought he could be stronger- Orchid thought Purple cried due to the rough training sessions, but in actuality Purple cried because he couldn't be strong enough for mama and papa.
Purple thinks it's his fault for not reaching such potential in strength. Maybe that's why mama and papa yell a lot. Why papa leaves the house, why mama sits in the living room silent. It's because Purple wasn't strong enough to make them both happy, he thinks.
Navy got much angrier; he snapped more, he seemed more stressed; maybe it's because Purple wasn't strong enough- but if Purple was more attentive, he'd notice the bills on the table for Orchid's medication, that Navy got laid off, that Navy had debts to pay too due to it.
Things were tough; Purple only saw it that he's the issue- truthfully, it was easier to blame himself in this situation bc it's much more comprehensible. But he can't rely on it too much cause he does notice: he notices Orchid skipping her medication when it's out just to buy dinner, notices that Navy sleeps on the couch or outside on the porch, notices how they rarely ate together as a family.
Navy doesn't look at Purple anymore, even when Purple asked if they could train- asking whilst out of Orchid's hearing because Purple doesn't wanna hurt Orchid or make her mad.
To Purple's dismay, Navy shook his head. Oddly enough, the idea that Navy won't fight him to prove Purple's strength is saddening. It means Navy doesn't care about him anymore
Purple tries to rationalize everything, that there's a logical conclusion to it, a cause, an effect- anything. He knows they were all happy back then, they were, but things changed and Purple hated that!
Orchid loved him still, and Purple took care of her, not wanting her to tire herself out anymore. Purple picked up her clothes as she slept, cleaned the house, and learnt to cook food. Sometimes he'd leave leftovers just for Navy to pick up when no one is occupying the dining room/kitchen part of the house.
Purple remembered when he was walking with Orchid and passed by a clothing store. Orchid stared at the clothes on display and just walked inside- Purple followed. They picked clothes and wore them in the dressing room. Orchid wore a beautiful dress and Purple applauded. Orchid picked a few clothes for Purple, feminine, pretty, just like mama.
It filled Purple with a sense of… pride? Happiness? It made him feel pretty. He was always pretty- because he looked like mama. Orchid smiled and called him beautiful, and Purple laughed.
Yet they couldn't afford it, of course, so they returned the clothes. Yet before leaving, Orchid held his hand.
"Purple... Sayang, nanti kalau mama dapat rejeki... Nanti mama beliin baju banyak untuk Purple, ya? Baju yang cantik banget... Nanti semua mama kasih ke Purple." Orchid promised.
Purple held her hand tightly, fighting against his own protests. He doesn't want Orchid to waste money on him-- knowing medicine is expensive, he wants her to focus on herself and not be burdened by a useless, weak, son. Him.
Purple tried to work; it's not enough. He ran around here and there only for the bare minimum. He was always everywhere and nowhere, always moving, always...
Purple would count how much money was needed for a month; for Mama's medication, for Papa's debt, for food, for utilities- Purple fought weakness because he needed to be strong. He had to.
He was desperate, but he needed to work hard; he tried entering a ring to win prize money and got his ass kicked. He was clearly bruised, and Orchid scolded him upon finding out why- he tried to keep it discreet yet even then he can only pay for food for his parents.
Afterall, it was his responsibility to take care of them right? After all, it was technically his fault at one point things got bad. Purple needed to be the Hero of their story, to save this broken family… just like the stories Navy told him when he was a kid, like the drawings Orchid made back when she was younger and met Navy, back when they were happy.
Purple truly believed he could keep it up to fulfill the needs of both his parents and himself. He thinks what he’s doing is a necessary sacrifice, a heroic duty, an obligation as a son. If he could keep it up long enough then he can surely make them proud and finally at peace- that there wil be no more fighting, no more space, no more silence…
Purple knows Navy spends less time at home- sitting on the porch mostly late at night. One day, one night, Purple went home late because he was working another odd job- juggling duties and such. He rushed to get take out too and he saw Navy sitting on the porch with a can in his hand. Empty, of course, as always.
Navy looked up and saw Purple.
"What are you doing late at night?"
"... I was... Getting food."
"At this hour? Most places would be closed by now."
"Yeah... Uhm-" Purple scratched his head "-I just... I didn't expect it to be so late, and I ran cause my bike got stolen and-"
Navy didn't seem impressed but he did notice the extra smaller plastic bag that had money in it. It clicked in his head.
"You got a job?"
Purple seemed startled- a clear indication that Navy was right. Purple sighed.
"Kind of... I just do quick jobs, mostly, delivery or running errands. Just enough for today and... Well, it's.. still not enough."
Navy just stares- and Purple assumes that Navy is disappointed with the amount. So Purple continued to speak-
" But I've been working hard still! I know there's still much I need until I can pay for obatnya mama and other bills, but I'm doing my best- I can fill in for this month's payment so that you and mama don't need to stress so much... I-I know it's not impressive work but I know one day, one day, I can pay all of papa's debts! And I can take care of mama too!"
Purple seemed to run his mouth; he put down the plastic bags and showed Navy the amount he'd made. It was impressive- it was what he made in a single day. Navy just stared still as Purple seemed to try and convince him that there's nothing to worry about, that Purple can solve it, that Purple can be the Hero, that Purple -
" Purple. "
Purple stops, and he sees that Navy has put down the empty can with the other hand. Navy looks at him intently before shaking Purple gently;
"Keep the money."
"... Huh?"
"You don't have to include my debts, 'nak. I'll handle them. You just focus on yourself first."
Purple seemed to be taken aback; he found that... Foolish. So he spoke before thinking;
"But- you haven't had a job since-"
Navy suddenly laughed, and Purple flinched.
"Yeah, yeah, your papa's a deadbeat..."
"No-no, that's not-"
"Udah." Navy says firmly "... I got a job offer anyway. Will start working next week so I can handle my debts."
Purple blinked - for a moment, oddly enough, a weight seems to lift off of his shoulders but he doesn't focus on it.
"I... See."
"Mhm. So you save that money for school or something nice... But also focus on your mother's medicine too. Okay?"
"... Okay. "
Navy nods, "have you eaten yet?"
"-Hm? Oh... Belum, wait-" Purple takes out the food orders he got from the plastic bag, "I bought some fried rice, here, take--"
"No, no, I already ate. You eat first. It's already late, jangan makan telat nak or you'll get sick too."
Purple stared at Navy like he had gone crazy. Purple just... Nods. Maybe he's just taken aback because Navy looked skinnier than last time-- oddly enough, how long has it been since Purple saw Navy ate? Or, well, since they ate together. This time it was just Purple now sitting next to his dad on the porch, eating fried rice from the small container with a plastic spoon, his dad just sitting quietly and staring at the night sky.
If Navy noticed the subtle tears streaming down Purple's face, he didn't comment on it.
"... Save the extra containers for your mother. So she has breakfast." Navy adds.
Purple nods, a spoonful of rice in his mouth, a muffled hum.
Purple wondered if it was alright to ask for a hug- and he quickly shook that thought away. Because at least at this very moment, this moment with his dad, this silence, it was evidence he still cared for Purple.
He still cared, even after everything.
Purple thought, as tears continued to stream down, perhaps he stopped being subtle about it. He sniffled, blinked away tears, and rubbed his eyes with the clean part of his sleeves. Navy was kind enough not to point it out, not to acknowledge that Purple was crying next to him.
That's what Purple thought as he finished his midnight meal and sat there just a little longer because being told he should sleep.
That was the last time he saw Papa and heard his voice;
"Goodnight."
"... Goodnight, Papa."
The next day, Navy left home early in the morning, knowing Purple was still asleep. For the first time, Purple slept peacefully after that night.
Suitcase in hand, Orchid watched from the living room as Navy left. Neither talked, knowing bitterness swelled, but at least, at least, Navy took his problems away from her for the first time. Even when she knew, deep down, that Purple won't take the news well. She felt a moment of peace before having to think about how she'll break the news to Purple.
And if she should tell Purple that Navy lied about the job offer. That Navy didn't get that opportunity. That Navy is leaving with his problems tucked under his arm- knowing well that in the end, Purple was the truly strong one, not Navy.
Months had passed since then; Purple never took the news well, but from an outsider perspective, he might've just. Dissociated when Orchid told him that Navy is living away. She doesn't tell much- maybe for the best, because seeing how Purple became unresponsive after that was... Scary. But Purple continued, on autopilot; he just had to-
He had to pay Mama's medication. Yes. That's why.
Days passed like Purple was monitoring himself from a screen; he ran errands, got his money, and he took care of Mama. He cooked food, he walked with her, went to the park to see the flowers. But when he spoke, he felt like he wasn't speaking, just filling the silence with enough noise to ensure Orchid knows her son is still with her.
Orchid's condition wasn't improving much, but she hid it so well. So very, very well. Maybe it's the same thing, tucking away her problems so her son doesn't see it. She hated the state she was in but at least she can do something in return- unlike Navy. They spent time together; she smiled, she laughed, she reran those old shows she watched with Purple and they laughed together.
Purple hugged her a little more tightly. He'd hold her hand for hours just in case she wandered off. Purple notices Orchid is having a hard time remembering so he starts to put notes on the fridge. He folds her clothes. He counts the hours: how long has it been since Orchid has eaten bc she was asleep.
And at the same time, Purple wrote letters- unsent. To Navy, because he hasn't found the address. Orchid said she'll tell him later. Never did. Maybe because it didn't exist- maybe. But Purple can't leave her alone.
Oftentimes she recalled a story about a hero defeating a dragon. Purple doesn't know what prompted her to say that, but... He listened as he lay next to her, because she can't be left alone.
"It was a funny story." She smiled, even though she had told that story many times, Purple smiled back at her as he fixed her sleeves.
"Tomorrow, what do you want to eat, mama?"
"... Hmm... What do we have?"
Purple chuckled, "Anything you want, mama." Because he had money, he saved enough; he could get her whatever she wants- delicious food she could ever ask for!
"... What do I want?" She thinks for a bit "I don't know. I can't seem to think what foods are good..."
"Okay... What about noodles?"
"Oh?"
"There's a really nice restaurant nearby, and it has really good food, Mama. You can order whatever you want, I'll pay."
"Waduhhh, Purple... I can't do that to you--"
Purple just laughed, "it's okay, I've saved enough. You deserve many things, mama."
Orchid just smiled, holding her son's hand, "oh, sayang... Thank you. "
She hugged him, and he hugged her back, seeing as she fell asleep- it was late anyway. Purple could leave, but he simply readjusted, made sure the blanket kept her arm, made sure her sleeves weren't tugging against buttons. And he fell asleep next to her, knowing that tomorrow he would wake her up, and they'd have breakfast- something light, so they could eat many good foods in the new restaurant.
The next day, Orchid passed away in her sleep.