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Lake Evendim shimmered as the sun rose at Halston's back. He once found it beautiful, always going out of his way to watch the reflection of the sun upon the water, and if he had no duties that morning, he would strip to his underclothes and go for a swim. Now, it just looked like a lake.
Mirui came trotting back and dropped the stick he had thrown for her into his lap. She sat beside him in the sand, panting and waiting patiently. Halston reached out to scratch behind her pointed ear, and she nuzzled into his hand. After a moment, the terribly clever dog dipped her head to nudge the stick with her nose. Halston complied to her wish and launched the thing down the shore. She went running, and Halston looked back at the lake.
He really hated it.
His ear twitched faintly when he heard the distinct sound of someone trying to sneak up on him. Well, they likely weren't meaning too, but all rangers were trained in the art of stealth. Whoever it was stopped just within Halston's periphery.
"You've been ignoring me," Lothrandir said without preamble.
"Have I?"
"Halston."
Halston sighed and looked down to pick at the skin around his nails. Mirui wandered over, bypassing Halston to present her stick to Lothrandir. He petted her head, then threw the stick for her. "I leave in an hour," he said once she ran off. "Are you going to ignore me until I'm gone?"
Halston didn't answer the question, instead twisted to look up at Lothrandir. "Let me go with you."
"Hal..." Lothrandir's face fell, but Halston kept going.
"Let me talk to Calenglad about it, and I'm sure he will permit me to go. It is safer to travel in pairs or groups than it is to travel alone. And perhaps the Lossoth may be more inclined to form relations with the Dúnedain if they have the words of more than one man. And if things go sour, you will have better luck escaping if you have someone by your side."
Lothrandir stepped forward and knelt beside Halston, resting his hand on the younger's shoulder. "You are needed here, Hal," he said.
"But I do not want to be here, Loth." Halston knew he sounded like a whiny child, but his words were true. Every day he woke up wishing he would be somewhere else, somewhere far from Tinnudir, from Lake Evendim. He went through his days praying that Calenglad would give him a task that would send him from the bounds of this place. He hoped, and he hoped, and nothing ever happened. Nothing ever changed, and he felt trapped in a place that used to make him happy.
"We all must do things that we do not wish to," Lothrandir said. "We all have a duty to fulfill, and yours is still here, guarding our heritage from those who wish to steal it."
Halston shook his head and looked away. "Yes, and that was my brother's duty too. Now he is dead because of it."
"Brannen more than anyone would want you to hold fast to your oath."
"What does it matter what Brannen would wish for? He is not here, and soon you will be gone too."
Lothrandir's hand tightened minutely on Halston's shoulder, and Halston ducked his face further from his friend's view. Shame burned his face, for he knew that Lothrandir was right about what Brannen would want, but he could not help the bitterness and grief in his chest at the thought of never knowing for certain what his brother would want.
It was why he was so desperate to stay with Lothrandir who in his mind was the final tether Halston had to Brannen. Brannen and Lothrandir had been friends first. Halston had always followed his brother around like he had hung the moon and stars in the sky, admiring his every move and wishing to be just like him. Lothrandir simply became an extension of that, and now that Brannen was gone, Halston struggled to differentiate his friend from his brother, especially since Lothrandir made it his mission to stick by Halston.
He knew how terrible it was to think of Lothrandir in this way, to attempt to replace his brother, but he could not shake it, no matter how hard he tried. And with Lothrandir leaving for the frozen lands in the north, Halston felt himself falling apart.
"Halston." Lothrandir gently shook his shoulder. "Can you look at me?"
He didn't want to, not really, but he did it anyway, tilting his head to face his friend. Lothrandir lightly flicked his temple, and Halston thought he may start crying. Brannen had done the same when Halston was being particularly troublesome.
"I will not be gone forever," Lothrandir stated. "I will come back. You won't be alone either, if that is your worry. We are all brethren, and everyone here is fond of you. Besides, Mirui will keep you company, won't she?"
His dog chose that moment to appear, plopping on the sand and resting her head on Halston's thigh after she discarded her stick. She was quite good at that — being the balm to his soul. He ran his hand up and down her back, scratching lightly.
"You are not going to promise it, are you?" Halston asked.
Lothrandir sighed softly. "I do not want to make a promise I am not certain I can keep. But I will say... this is not the last time we will see each other." He placed his hand on the back of Halston's neck and brought their foreheads together. "Can you promise to not let this despair be all that you feel?"
"Loth..."
"Hal."
Halston squeezed his eyes shut. "I do not know if I can keep that promise."
"You can. Do you want to know how I know this?" Lothrandir continued before Halston could answer. "Because you, Halston, are more alike to your brother than you think, and he did not let something like this control him. He conquered it head-on and came out the other side with a grin. So, I want you to promise to do Brannen proud."
Halston sniffled and said, "Okay. I promise." He did not know if he could make his brother proud. He was more likely to disappoint him, but Lothrandir believed in him, so maybe he could try.
"Good." Lothrandir held their foreheads together a moment longer before pulling away and rising to his feet. "Now, let us go on one more ride before I leave. Mithúl is eager to stretch his legs before our journey, and I am sure that Mirui would enjoy running alongside us." Mirui jumped at the sound of her name and circled Lothrandir, kicking sand in her excitement. Halston pushed himself to standing, and Lothrandir smiled. "I knew you could not resist a ride."
"It would be rude of me to decline your offer," Halston retorted.
"Right, of course, that is the only reason." Lothrandir draped his arm over Halston's shoulders and steered him towards the stables, Mirui following closely at their heels.
Later, after they rode through the hills that bordered the lake, Halston stood at the bridge, watching as Lothrandir guided his horse across it. The man looked back at Halston and waved. Halston waved back, though it was a rather pathetic excuse of a wave. It took all of his will to not race for his own horse and ride after his friend. But he could not, for his place was not with Lothrandir.
Mirui pushed her nose against Halston's leg. He looked down at her and rubbed her head. When he turned his gaze back up, Lothrandir was gone.
"Farewell, my friend," he whispered, and the wind carried it far away.