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‘Congratulations! Stray Kids will debut as 8!’
It was a simple line but it plagued Felix’s mind. He often thought back to that day on the Stray Kids survival show. Somehow he’d been the only incompetent one, the only irredeemable one according to JYPE because if he was competent and redeemable he would be with all of them. All of Stray kids. He supposed that it could’ve been fate that they debuted as 8 because 8 is fate after all, but that didn’t last long.
Not even two years after debut Kim Woojin had left Stray kids due to ‘personal reasons’ that nobody knew and to be frank Felix hated him for it. He hated him for not realising the gold mine he stood on. He hated him for living his dream and throwing it away. The man had everything at his fingertips, a good-well known label, band mates he knew, was close to and trained with for a long time and a capable producing unit. What more could he have possibly wanted that he threw all that away to debut in a company nobody knows of to become a soloist?
Which left Stray kids as a Seven member group.
Felix’s new company, KQ Entertainment was a new company that saw Felix’s dance potential. After applying for various agencies (once he ended his JYP trainee contract) and constantly getting rejected or turned down he was finally accepted at KQ which in itself was a bizzare label. Other than himself and 8 other trainees there was no trainees and there was no groups. He initially thought he was getting scammed until he did debut in a group called ‘Ateez’.
Ateez consisted of 9 people; Seonghwa (the eldest), Hongjoong (the captain), Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, Wooyoung, Felix and Jongho (the Maknae) and despite the short notice of Felix joining their debut lineup and the language barrier they were all very welcoming and friendly to him and even helped to with his Korean. Within Ateez Felix was the closest with Seonghwa and Wooyoung who was insistent and persistent on becoming friends with him.
Of course it still hurt when he saw Stray kids (now a 7 member group) on every tv show in Korea and it hurt even more when they blew up and took the industry by a storm with ‘God’s Menu’ , it was the final nail in the coffin for Felix it was proof that they didn’t need him at all. But he had Ateez and he had so many memories and moments with them that he cherished dearly. He enjoyed learning how to produce with Hongjoong, Lego building with Seonghwa and his cuddles with San and Wooyoung. His self esteem and confidence which were destroyed when he was eliminated on the Survival show was slowly but surely being restored.
The more time that he spent with Ateez the more that he opened up about his time at JYP and the survival show, his members were extremely understanding and ready to pull him out of his thoughts every time they sensed him drowning in them.
It had been 3 years since he joined Ateez and they semi-blew up with ‘HALA HALA’, they didn’t have as many fans as groups like BLACKPINK, TWICE or even GOT7 they had enough to be recognised as a successful group.
Felix in particular was growing more popular as well with his fairy-like visuals and his contrasting deep cave-like voice. His members enjoyed teasing him about all the baby fat his face lost and how he ‘wasn’t cute anymore so now they couldn’t coddle him because was all grown up’ which was a lie they all coddled him anyway, especially Wooyoung who took it upon himself to ‘adopt’ Felix as his son. Atiny’s also enjoyed calling Felix their ‘second princess’ as Mingi was the first princess and Seonghwa was a queen.
Felix was overall really satisfied with his new group and his new dynamic and thought that nothing could shake it up or ruin it.
During his time with Ateez, Felix grew more and more detached from any Stray Kids emotions he once felt when he was kicked off the survival show. It helped that none of the members bothered to reach out. They waited a year before they started trying to reconnect with Felix.
‘I’m not going to leave you behind’ had to be up there on the list of the biggest lies that had ever been said to him. Chris- Bangchan didn’t even bother checking on him during the short time he was still at JYP before leaving for KQ. This made it easier for Felix to just leave.
Sure he may have cried in Seonghwa and Wooyoungs arms occasionally when he initially joined KQ. Sure he had his night terrors of that day which his dorm mates (whichever one was closest - usually Yeosang or Yunho) would help him and give him comfort and reassurances.
He may not have had many interactions with his former potential bandmates but when ever they had comebacks around a similar time he found it relatively easy to avoid them at places like Inkigayo or even end of year award shows we’ll mostly he somehow managed to run into them back stage of the AAAwards last year.
‘Felix!?’ Han had yelled after Felix almost ran into backstage that year. ‘Is that really you? I’ve missed you so much!!’ Han exclaimed pulling Felix into a tight hug. Felix tensed up in the hug which he’s sure Han felt because he was quickly pulling away and hastily apologising.
‘Sorry I got carried away and a little bit excited at seeing you again. What happened after you-‘
‘Han!!?’ Bangchan called out ‘oh there you are!!’ He said approaching them with the rest of the group. ‘Who’s……oh’ he trailed off ‘Felix?!’ He exclaimed.
‘Well it was nice seeing you guys again….. I kinda have to go find my group…..’ Felix replied awkwardly. Which was met with a range of statements.
‘You debuted!?’
‘We can help you find them’
‘Who’s the group??’
‘Are they treating you well???’
‘Do you need help finding them?’
‘Can we meet them?’
‘Why didn’t you keep in touch?’
‘Why did you leave us?’
Their sudden onslaught of questions had garnered the attention of the Ateez members who were looking for him. ‘Yongbokkie!! Are you okay!?’ Wooyoung exclaimed pulling Felix into a hug and dramatically checking him out for any ‘injuries’. ‘We called you multiple names Bok only to find out you left your phone with Sannie how many times have we told you to bring your phone with you everywhere? I mean what if some other group snatches you up? Not that I could blame them because you’re so cute and snatchable but you know what I mean!! What if-‘
‘Let’s stop rambling first Wooyoungie’ Seonghwa gently interrupted.
‘He’s fine Woo, our Lixie is a strong man right Lix?’ Hongjoong added
‘Yes Wooyo-hyung listen to Joongie -hyung and Hwa-hyung, I’m fine….’
Bangchan awkwardly cleared his throat ‘ahem….you’re Felix’s new group right??? We’re Stray Kids and I’m the leader Bangchan’ he offered his hand to Seonghwa.
Seonghwa shook his hand ‘I’m Park Seonghwa and this is our Captain Kim Hongjoong. We, including Felix are apart of Ateez’ he answered curtly, which surprised Felix because he’d never seen Seonghwa so aloof and reserved.
‘Felix mentioned you guys before when he told us about the survival show and his previous label.’ Hongjoong added. ‘Anyway thank you for offering to bring him back it was a pleasure to meet you guys really’
They all bowed to Stray Kids and returned to their changing rooms, that was the last interaction Felix thought he’d have with his previous band…,
That was until they got invited to participate in a show called ‘Kingdom: legendary war’ . The show itself wasn’t an issue. It was the participants. It was Stray Kids.
‘Yongbokkie are you sure you want to do this??? We don’t have to do this you know? Your comfort is our priority’ Wooyoung asked or the umpteenth time during their group meeting.
‘Wooyo-hyung, I’ll be fine the survival show doesn’t really bother me anymore, aside from that I think it’s high time I face my ghosts I can’t go avoiding places they’ll be at forever you know?’ Felix mused aloud more to himself than his bandmates.
‘Well……we’ll trust your word for it Bokkie, just remember you can tap out whenever, we don’t want to force you into a situation that you’re not comfortable in’ Hongjoong stated.
Whoops and cheers broke out from the other members, ‘Yes!! Let’s do it 9 makes one team!! Let’s do this’ Yunho yelled.