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It was a wintry day in Republic City. Lights were shining from nearly every building, their glow reflected on the snow outside. The sky was clouded and it was so dark outside that Asami knew there was no way she could go home tonight, not unless she wanted to risk getting into a crash and as tempting as sleeping in her cozy bed was, she didn't dare risk it. Korra wasn't in Republic City currently (she had returned home to celebrate the Winter Solstice with her parents, she left four days previously and had kissed her on the cheek, promising to be back soon) and if any thing happened to her, Korra would rightfully lecture her. The city was quiet, people too cold to be out and about, or if they were from the North or South water tribes, celebrating the Winter Solstice. Or stuck at work like me, she thought, gloomily. She had so wanted to sleep in her bed... especially on such a cold day and she knew it'd be even colder that night. The ground was covered in snow, even if she couldn't see it, she knew it. She remembered how it had snowed that morning, how beautiful she had thought it was, the white snowfall had glimmered in the morning sun, dazzling and reflecting it's light. Her father had told her that was nothing more beautiful than it ("Other than your mother, of course." He'd add in a whisper, which would always make her laugh, until one day her father stopped joking and her laughter died for a long time), when she was a child. She would stare in wonder at the snowflakes, how each one was unique, never a copy of one another, and the light gleaming on it. She would play in it by herself, her mother watching from a distance, warmly wrapped up in furs. She would do that for hours, Asami remembered, smiling briefly. It had always been her and her mother mainly at first, then her father got more free time and... Well, she wouldn't go down that road, not so soon. It didn't matter anyway. Her father was dead less than a year now and the pain she felt reminded her that her grief wasn't over, no matter how she tried to bury it.
Her trip to the Spirit World with Korra had distracted her. With Korra, walking hand in hand, things had been fun, wonderful, happy. She had forgotten her sorrows temporarily, had felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from her, had had a bounce in her walk. Once they had returned home, however, all of that had ended. Oh, she was still content as long as she had Korra, of course. Nothing could ruin that. But there was a large emptiness inside of her, where once her love and hope for his redemption, had lived. Along with the love of her mother. They were dead now and nevermore would they return, she had had to accept that, as painful as it was. That did not mean she never felt depressed over their death. No, she would constantly see things that reminded her of them, especially her father, as of late. Seeing young girls playing in the snow with their fathers made tears well up in her eyes and she would had to hurriedly blink them away, or look away, discreetly wiping her eyes with her fingers.
Korra knew how deeply Asami was affected by her father's death, Asami and her had discussed it in the Spirit World. She smiled again at the memory.
Korra and her had been sitting under a tree that had orange colored apples (that could speak, as Asami had learnt the hard way after trying to take a bite out of one. It had cried out, indignantly, "Stop, you murderer!" which had awakened the others, who began screaming out things at her. Asami had backed away, shocked and somewhat frightened, in hindsight that seemed silly as they were just, well... apples. At least they appeared that way. Nothing was what they seemed in the Spirit World. Thankfully, Korra have intervened and peacefully resolved the situation, but every now and then she felt as if they were watching her in suspicion. Not like she could really blame them.) and floating above the tree had been a spirit of a flying lemur. The leaves were purple and a light wind was blowing. There were no noises to be heard, it was so different from Republic City, where there was never a quiet moment, it was... peaceful but strange. Asami wasn't sure if she liked it so much. But if Korra was there, she'd tolerate it and try to enjoy it.
Korra had been stroking her hair, Asami's head in her lap. Her hands were calloused but her touch was tender, just as she had imagined they would be when she pictured them in scenarios like this. Asami loved to be close to her. She had thought of her all those months they were apart, worrying about her, constantly hoping that nothing was troubling her, hoping that she knew she had a friend in her, no matter what had happened with them and Mako in the past. She had thought of her after Korra had been tortured and was recovering. When she taken care of her, she had gotten to know the Korra under the surface. She had seen her cry, Asami would avert her eyes, knowing the tears were shameful to Korra. After she was done crying, Asami had wiped her tears away with her hand, marvelling inwardly at how soft Korra's skin was. She hadn't noticed that Korra had tried to lean into her hand. After that, her feelings grew stronger and stronger. This was new and exciting. Asami had never really dated anyone other than a boy named Haru, and Mako, and now, of all people, the Avatar. At least she assumed they were dating. Maybe they weren't. But Korra had said she loved her. So, she wasn't worried about that at the moment. At the moment she had been thinking of her father, who had died, leaving her an orphan. She knew he had died a hero, but still, he had tried to kill her... turned against her... yet he also had saved her. It had left her in a confused state, as at the time of his death, she had just begun to try and forgive him.
"Asami... " Korra's hand had stilled in her hair, and she noticed that Korra sounded uncomfortable.
Frowning, Asami lifted her head, looking up at her, instead of keeping her gaze on the flying lemur. "What is is? Is my head too heavy or is it uncomfortable leaning against that tree?" she asked.
"No... I was just thinking... about your dad." she looked away from Asami, uncertainty on her face. "I was wondering if I could ask you something about him."
She raised her eyebrows, taken aback. Korra hadn't asked her about him in a long time. "What about him?"
Korra bit her lip, dragging her top teeth across her bottom lip. "Well, uh, I wanted to ask if you two got to say anything to each other, y'know, before he died? I know, I know, ugh, that sounds so insensitive of me. I just wanted to know if you were okay, if you got to say anything?" she groaned, rubbing her hand down her face, clearly annoyed at her inability to phrase things the way they sounded in her head.
Asami's heart dropped, her mouth felt dry, her stomach clenched, her chest felt heavier, making breathing harder. No, she hadn't, there hadn't been any time. He only told me he loved me, she thought. She closed her eyes, not wanting Korra to see her sadness, she wouldn't see her crying, which she was not going to do, not after everything Korra endured, she didn't need more pain. No, no, no! She told herself. This was supposed to be a vacation, a time to forget their sorrows and troubles.
"I... " she paused, and after a moment of her continued silence, she felt Korra put her hand on her face, her thumb rubbing something wet away. Oh no, she thought, her mouth trembling. I started crying, after all... Still, she leaned into the touch, sighing at the feel of her warm hand. Korra knew how to comfort her and make her feel safe, in ways Mako hadn't been able to.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, I was hoping I could help you." Korra said, pulling her hand away to rub the back of her neck .
Asami shook her head, opening her eyes. "It wasn't you, Korra, I... my father only had time to tell me he loved me." she faltered at the last words, tears once again burning in her eyes, her chest tightening.
"I... I'm so sorry, Asami, I wouldn't have asked if I had known he only... " she said, frowning, a guilty look on her face.
"Don't apologize, Korra, you ... you didn't know and it's just... I'm still a bit mad at him and I know I shouldn't be, because he did love me and he has- had started to change... but ... I can't help thinking of how he tried to kill me... Silly, isn't it?" she chuckled and rubbed her eyes.. "And than I remember how he would hug me or how he'd read to me as a child! I just don't know what to think of him and it's driving me crazy." she said, her voice cracking and getting louder at the last sentence, making the flying lemur above look down at them and reproach them in it's high pitched voice.
Korra waited a moment before she responded, "I think you're justified in how you feel. What your father did was wrong and you have every right in not forgiving him immediately. You don't have to, I don't think he'd blame you, you have a long time left and plenty of inner strength to make it through your feelings and thoughts. If you can't and you want someone to talk to... I'm here." she finished, lamely.
She felt her tears coming faster at that, burning and blurring her sight as they fell down her cheeks, ruining her makeup. She felt rather than saw Korra move closer to her and wrap her arms around her, her warmth a comfort to Asami who felt as if all the warmth from that day had been stripped away and winter had taken it's place suddenly. As she began to sob, she put her head on Korra's shoulder, who in return tightened her grip on Asami, Even as she sobbed, she felt safe, like only her and Korra, nothing else, just Korra holding her and her clinging, desperate to absorb some of her strength, oh, but most of all, she felt loved. As as her sobs began to subside, she realized Korra had been rubbing her back, her strong fingers giving her a comforting massage that rivaled the masseuses she had gone to in Republic City. Despite her exhaustion, her sore eyes, her stuffed up nose, the snot and drool she had gotten on Korra's shoulder, her completely ruined makeup, and her overheated face which had blushed from realizing just how close she was to Korra, she pulled away from her.
"I'm sorry... " she apologized, her voice hoarse and scratched sounding. "If I had a handkerchief I could clean up where I cried on your... "
She stopped as she watched Korra waterbend and airbend the area she had cried on her until it was clean. Then she smiled, just as Korra did.
"See? I can totally do laundry! Tenzin complained about it being 'An abuse of your abilities and a waste of them', well, joke's on him, because after I learned airbending, I'd just dry my clothes within five minutes." she said, her grin mischievous and it reminded her of the Korra she first met, the girl she had thought of as a star at first, how wrong she had been.
They looked at each other for another moment, Korra's smile became softer and shyer, and Asami felt as if the sorrow had been ringed from her body and her smile couldn't become larger. She knew at this moment that she loved Korra and though her father was dead, she had Korra.
Beautiful, strong, clever, sometimes hot headed Korra, but kind was Korra, Korra wouldn't harm her, never.
Asami was brought back to the present by a loud and sharp knock on her door. Who could it be this late? She thought in irritation. She knew it had to be late as she walked by her offices' window and there wasn't a light to be seen in the sky. Just great, probably more papers, she huffed a sigh and turned the door knob.
"What?" she asked irritably, when to her surprise five, babbling and talking very loud and fast, people rushed in. "Who, what is this?"
When they all were in and not being as loud, she realized they were Korra, Mako, Wu, Bolin and Opal. She blinked. Weren't they all (save for Wu and Mako, who to everyone's surprise, had moved in together three months ago and announced an engagement. Well, Wu had, very loudly and constantly. He bragged how he would have the finest wedding in Republic City and from what else Asami heard he was also going to have the finest bills delivered to Mako. All in all, she was happy for them, despite Mako's exasperation with Wu's hyperactivity, he would smile fondly at Wu and she had even once seen the two share a tender kiss and hug when they thought they were alone.) at the South Pole? Not that she wasn't happy to see them especially Korra, who looked aglow, her cheeks shining and her eyes wide, looking as if she'd just had the thrill of a lifetime. Korra must love the snow, she mused.
"We came to see you!" Wu said, matter of factly. "We wanted to help you get home and spend time with us!"
Mako put his face in his hand, shaking his head in annoyance. Bolin snickered at what he took to be a sexual sounding line, Korra fought a laugh as well, by the way her nose crinkled and she avoided Asami's eyes. Even Asami had to admit it sounded pretty dirty if you took it from the context.
Opal rolled her eyes but smiled, evidently she had learned to tolerate her brothers' husband. "Yeah, it was Korra's idea. The Winter Solstice was fun, but Korra wasn't having as much fun without you." she explained, Korra elbowed her and whispered something into her ear.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I know you can speak for yourself." she whispered back to Korra.
Korra whispered something back and straightened herself up, still looking a bit mad, but adorable to Asami.
"Basically, what he said, we want you to come home with us." Korra said, no longer heated.
Asami laughed\and said, "Okay, okay, I can finish this tomorrow.." It was a lie but they didn't know that and honestly, she didn't care at the moment, as they were exactly what she needed currently: a distraction.
She needed some time off, to think about her father and her feelings for him, to fully confront them (if Korra would help her as much as she could, if she agreed) and now the perfect reason had shown up. Lucky for her she had such good friends and a girlfriend. Maybe my father blessed me in the afterlife. She thought.
She put her work aside carefully,and Mako and Opal helped her shut down the building, while Wu, Bolin, and Korra went outside to wait. Asami looked at Mako who had just turned off the lights. He looked happier and healthier since moving in with Wu. Guess he's not a bad cook, after all, looks like he's gained weight, she thought. Guess I lost that bet. Oh well.
When they got outside, Korra was rubbing Naga's belly, along with Bolin. Naga clearly enjoyed the attention she was receiving if the loud 'whooshing' noise her tail was making was anything to go by. Korra was muttering praise to her and was also feeding her some sort of treat. Asami pulled her coat closer to her, it was a very cold night and it seemed like he and Wu and Bolin were the only ones affected, as they were bundled up the most. Asami had even worn two shirts, a sweater, and a fur coat, with her skirt and high heels. She had worn what she had hoped would keep her warm on her way home after work. It hadn't been enough. She shivered, her teeth clattering. Korra must have heard for she looked up, concern in her eyes.
"Hey, Asami, come stand by me." she called out.
Asami walked over to her, which was hard as her shoulders kept jerking and shivering in the cold. When she got to Korra, Korra wrapped an arm around her, Asami felt a tiny bit of heat radiating from her at first. But after a few moments she felt a strong heat wave coming from her. She sighed and closed her eyes leaning back into Korra, then opening her eyes, and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend.
Wu was watching from a distance.
"I'm not riding that polar bear dog!' he said, the revulsion and semi-fear in his voice, evident. "She'll get hair on my nice, new, expensive, paid for by the groom clothes!"
"Way to be subtle," muttered Korra to Asami, before glaring at him. "And don't talk about her that way. She is very smart and well... if polar bear dogs get mad... you know, I've heard of them eating people who insult or offend them." she winked at Asami, who realized Korra was playing a trick on Wu and she nodded.
"Oh, yes, in my studies as a kid, I learnt all about it. They're very proud animals, Wu, and beautiful," she paused, leaning down and petting Naga's belly, making her wag her tail happily. "so you might want to apologize or... you never know, the wedding might have to be cancelled. For a funeral, if there's anything left." she shrugged. "Your choice, apologize... or get eaten."
Wu shrieked loud enough to pierce your ears. "You gotta be kidding me! Those things can eat people? This is allowed to happen? You, the Avatar, would let her eat me just for protecting my clothes? You'd let Republic City's greatest actor be eaten? No offense, Bolin, but I AM far more talented than you, you must admit. I can't cancel the wedding, I already ordered everything, aaah, how do I apologize? Pet her? Feed her, preferably no human meat, clean her, play with her, BOW to her? Oh that'd look so weird, how can this have happened... why did nobody warn me?"" he groaned, falling to the floor.
"No one thought you'd be that dumb," Bolin said bluntly.
"Bolin," Opal whispered, looking at him, a frown on her face. "Don't call people dumb."
"What? It's true, look, even I am smarter, I know polar bear dogs eat people."
Opal looked at him in mild horror and disbelief. "Please tell me, Bolin... those stories... they're not... oh."
She shook her head and walked over to where Wu and Mako was. "What? What is it?" Bolin called after her.
"Wu, just apologize to Naga, so we can get out of the cold," Mako snapped, in annoyance.
Asami noticed he was shivering and smiled. She had forgotten how much Mako hated the snow. He would be short tempered and a pain in the ass when it got cold.
Korra cleared her throat, "You have to pet her, Wu, for, um, fifteen minutes then you take her for a walk, then you take her to Asami and ours house. Got it? Good. I'm out, this party is done!"
Bolin groaned along with Wu, Wu's groan being much angrier. Asami's heart skipped a beat when she called it our house, her face turning redder, she was grateful the darkness concealed it somewhat, she noticed Korra's' eyes were on her, her blue eyes twinkling in the moonlight, her hair blowing around her face. She's so beautiful, she thought breathlessly.
"I thought we'd go over to your house and play or something," Bolin whined and Opal shook her head whilst Mako pulled a disgusted face behind him.
"No, me and Asami want 'private' time, no friends over, etc, get it? Wu did this for that reason, so don't be sad, Bolin. We'll see each other again tomorrow. Asami is always busy! So it's harder to spend time with her," Korra said, patting him on the back, trying to comfort him but it was clear she was in a fidgety mood. She's always full of energy, it seems, Asami thought, smiling.
Bolin nodded, resigned, and turned to Opal. Most likely to argue with her more, Asami thought. That's when the thought struck her. Something she hadn't thought of in years. Mainly, well... because she had no friends to do this with. Not until she turned eighteen and even then she hadn't been sure they would agree. But, Korra, yes, yes yes, oh, why hadn't I thought of this before? she thought, before she grabbed Korra, who looked surprised, and pulled her close to her so she could whisper in her ear.
"Hey, want to play in the snow?" Asami whispered to Korra, who turned to look at her, her eyes wide and gleaming in the moonlight.
"Yes!" she said, loudly and excitedly, grabbing her by her hand and pulling her by her hand, racing towards Asami's house, dragging Asami behind her, who only had a moment to wave goodbye to the others. All of them, save for Wu who was petting Naga with his eyes shut tight, waved back. Asami smiled, despite feeling like Korra was about to rip her arm off at the speed she was doing.
Maybe if she could learn to love the cold and snow again, she could finally come to terms with her father and forgive.
Just maybe she could feel at peace.