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Danny felt like shit. In human form, too. He hadn't even gone on patrol that night. And this felt… distinctly human. Which was massively inconvenient because he couldn't exactly go to the doctor’s. Not when his pulse was one tenth of a human heart rate. Not when he weighed 62 pounds at seventeen and 5’8. Not when his temperature was dangerously low for a human.
It was why Jazz worked so hard to make sure he forced himself to eat, take supplements and sleep whenever he actually could. Because taking Danny to the doctor for anything would be a mess. So, he went to Jazz, because who else could he go to? Luckily, she was on break from college. They were both on Christmas break, though hers was significantly longer than his.
“Jazz?” he asked, knocking on her bedroom door. She opened it, and her smile immediately dropped when she got a look at Danny. He must have looked as bad as he felt, then. She ushered him inside, and he flopped onto her bed. She didn't even get upset about the papers he crinkled on her duvet. “I feel like crap.”
“You look like crap. Is it a human thing, or a ghost thing?” she asked, chewing on her lip in worry.
“Human.”
“Tell me your symptoms, now.”
Danny couldn't pinpoint any actual pain anywhere. He just felt horrible. Exhausted more than usual and differently than his chronic lack of sleep and rest. He felt distinctly wrong in a human way. “I don't know. Nothing… hurts. I can feel my core pretty strongly right now, though. Like… it’s working in overdrive. But I’m a human right now. It’s… not supposed to work like that.”
He was filled with dread. Terror that his ghost side was finally overpowering his human side. Jazz noticed the signs of an impending panic attack melt down with ease, and walked Danny through it, helping him calm his breathing. The hyperventilating definitely didn't help him feel any better.
“-nny. Danny, can you hear me?” Jazz asked, panicked. Danny was staring up at the ceiling, blinking confusedly. He nodded, finally processing what Jazz was saying. “What are you feeling, now?” she asked, holding onto him tightly, like he was slipping away in ghost form.
“...slow. Confused,” he said. “My head hurts.”
Jazz went white as a sheet. She swallowed thickly, and pulled Danny into her lap, holding him as he laid still. His hair was turning white without any transformation triggered. It had happened before. The last time he’d been severely injured in human form, Sam had to give him CPR, and then figure out whether or not to blow his secret going to the hospital.
They figured his hair turned white when he was about to turn into an actual ghost. AKA, if he was dying for real.
His eyes closed, and Jazz sobbed.
Only, he woke up maybe seconds later, absolutely disoriented, hair back to being black. “Danny, how are you feeling?”
Danny jerked away from her, baffled that he was in his sister’s lap. “What the hell, Jazz? Why was I in your lap?” He sounded disgusted. Jazz opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it. “When did you remodel your room?” he asked, looking around the semi-familiar space in confusion.
Jazz licked her lips, and very calmly asked Danny, “Do you know what date today is?”
“...No. It’s May, right?” His eyes strayed to the open curtains, and any further response about what date he thought it was died on his tongue. It was snowing. It didn't snow in May. “Wait, what’s today’s date? What just happened?”
“It’s December 29th, 2008.”
“What? You're lying!”
“Danny, what year is it for you?”
“2004!” Jazz pursed her lips. “Wait, I forgot four years of my life? Why? What happened?”
Jazz pulled on her hair in dawning horror. “Oh no! You’ve forgotten the last four years of your life!” she exclaimed. “Oh god. Okay, Danny, you need to sit down, okay? I have a lot to tell you.”
Danny was baffled. “I forgot four years, I have to go to the doctor!”
“NO!” Jazz shouted, startling Danny. Danny, who was now seventeen. He was so much taller, he just noticed. “You can't go to the doctor. Danny, come down to the lab with me, and I can explain everything.”
Scowling, Danny looked at his sister like a stranger. “So in the last four years you don't give a crap about my health?”
“Gah, it’s not that! You can't go to the doctor because you’re not human anymore!” Jazz finally exploded, eyes rimmed with red. Danny scoffed at her, unable to comprehend what had happened to his smart, responsible sister in the last four years. “Danny, think you want to turn invisible right now. Humor me,” she said sternly. Danny scoffed again, but the thought did flitter through his head.
In his lower periphery vision, he watched his legs disappear into transparency. He jerked his hands up, and saw they were invisible, too. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” he exploded, absolutely terrified. Jazz stood up and hurried over to him, grabbing at where she figured his hand was. “Wh- how do I turn back?!”
“Think you want to be visible. It’s that easy.” It was, and Danny was visible again, his face dripping with tears and pale as a ghost. “Danny, please come down to the lab with me, and I can explain things. I don't know why you lost your memory, but whatever caused it has passed. Please, please trust me right now.”
Danny nodded shakily. She grabbed her laptop, went into Danny’s room and pulled up a floorboard under his bed, pulling out a USB drive, and then took his hand, leading him downstairs. “Where are mom and dad?” he asked, voice hoarse.
“...Hunting ghosts.”
“But ghosts aren't real.”
“They are now. A lot has changed in four years, Danny. I’ll bring you up to speed about the most important stuff.” They walked into the basement, which looked completely different. The portal embedded in the wall was functional, when the last time he remembered being here, it was in development. He hadn't believed anything would come of it.
Jazz sat him down in one of the chairs, and rolled him up to the table. She grabbed a folding chair and sat next to him, setting up her computer and the thumbdrive. She knew the password he’d chosen for it. He didn't. But… he really got this much closer to his sister in four years? That he let her know where he hid things in his room, and his password protected stuff? What had happened to bring them so close?
Once everything was set up, she turned to Danny, clearly intending to start off speaking about why he turned invisible on command. “Danny, three years ago, there was an accident. You were shocked in the ghost portal, and it turned you into a half ghost-half human.” She stopped, letting him sit with that for a long moment. He finally made eye contact with her again, mouth gaping, and she continued. “In your ghost form, you go by Danny Phantom, and you’ve become somewhat of a vigilante ghost hunter. Only Sam and Tucker also know.”
Danny was finally startled into a response. “Mom and dad don't know?”
Jazz licked her lips and shook her head. “You never told them. You were never comfortable with it.” Danny then remembered where she said they were. Hunting ghosts. He was a ghost, now, too. Did they want to hunt him? He couldn't imagine his parents hurting him. He also couldn't imagine keeping something like this from them either. “I always supported you telling them, but it’s your choice and yours only.”
Blinking, trying to process everything, he nodded, telling her to continue. “A lot has happened to… your body and mind. At least, before you got sick and healed a few minutes ago. I don't know if that’s changed from your amnesia, but I doubt it. Do you feel strange at all? Can you pinpoint where you feel strange?”
Her voice was so calm, understanding and caring. Danny felt… safe with her. She’d kept this secret from their parents because it was Danny’s choice to make. She was always so pushy… four years was a really long time for teenagers. So much had changed. He thought, inspecting his body from within.
“I feel… cold. And tired. It feels like my heartbeat is really slow.” He pressed a hand to his chest, and felt a strange thrumming feeling. Not a heartbeat. But when he pressed his fingers to his throat, he got confirmation that his heart was incredibly sluggish. So much so he probably should be laying on the ground, unconscious.
No wonder she said he couldn't see a doctor. “Those are a few of the symptoms. You, Sam and Tucker have been very thorough, so you have extensive medical documents the three of you compiled, and then once I found out, helped with. We can go over that first, okay?”
“Okay…”
There was a large folder that explained the differences in Danny’s “human form” biology. It was a lot, but it honestly looked like the most severe changes… were with his brain and emotions. He’d always had anxiety ever since Maddie got sick when he was a child and he thought he was going to lose her. And he’d been insecure and quick to assume blame for things.
But the observations he and his loved ones had compiled painted a completely different picture: older Danny was a disaster. He had regular panic attacks, massive anxiety, recurring existential crises, and an obsession with protecting people to the point it had nearly damaged friendships. With his only two friends.
Danny lowered his head. “Am I miserable?” Even now, he felt anxiety eating at his chest, making him feel stuffy inside. It was unpleasant. And he lived with it at all times. He had to be miserable, right?
But Jazz shook her head. “Life is difficult and often unpleasant, but you’ve found comfort and consistency. You even enjoy being in your ghost form. You’ve made peace as well as possible in this body.”
He had to take her word for it. “We became close?” he asked quietly, feeling numb. Numb and lost.
Smiling, Jazz nodded. “We did. I kept your secret, and have done my best to look out for you. I also lie to mom and dad all the time to keep your cover.” She said it so proudly, when Danny felt pained for having kept this to himself for three years. Three years of lies and hiding. Of compiling all of this himself and never sharing it with them.
Danny worked very hard to not fall apart when he asked, “Why didn't I tell mom and dad?”
Jazz rubbed his knee in a comforting gesture which actually helped sooth him, and it was such a shock. He’d never been close to Jazz. She’d always been a know-it-all, reinforcing every insecurity he’d ever had. But right now, he couldn't be more thankful that she was his sister. It was just bizarre.
“Phantom, your alter ego, showed up at the same time ghosts started frequenting Amity Park. They don't know it's you, so Phantom is just another ghost for them to take care of, and a powerful one, too. It doesn't help that they say stuff about how they want to experiment on Phantom, though,” she grumbled. Danny just nodded. “Hopefully the amnesia is temporary. You're on Christmas break so you don't have to go to school for another week.”
Danny didn't feel comforted. “Should tell Tucker and Sam,” he mumbled. He pressed his finger to his throat again. Still so slow, so sluggish. “Are you sure this stuff is normal?”
“It is, now,” Jazz answered simply. Danny let his hand fall to his lap, and his sister pulled out her phone and informed both of Danny’s loyal best friends that he’d gotten sick and healed back with massive amnesia. Both were on their way immediately. Danny stayed where he sat, staring at the ghost portal. A weird energy came from it, seeping into his skin and bones. It wasn't unpleasant.
Driven by curiosity, he walked up to it, and placed his hand on the metal hull of the door. “What do you feel?” Jazz asked from where she still sat in her folding chair.
“It’s warm. Pulsing. What am I feeling? Can you feel it?”
“Ecto-energy. And no, I can’t. Before Sam and Tucker get here, do you want to see what it feels like in your ghost body first?”
“Let me guess. Think it and it happens?” he asked moodily. When Jazz confirmed this, Danny did as instructed, and jumped when a ring of white light appeared around his waist and traveled along his body in both directions. Once it was done, everything felt so different. He felt… buzzed. As if he’d drunk alcohol. Once, when he was twelve, he’d found the booze cupboard and downed an entire bottle of wine. He’d been grounded for two months but he knew his parents had been pleased he hated it so much he swore to never drink again.
He felt weightless, and lifted himself off of the ground with ease. Flying - or floating - was almost easier and more natural than standing on the ground. Jazz pulled a compact mirror out of somewhere and held it up for Danny to see. White hair, neon green eyes, and the faint freckles he rarely ever noticed glowed slightly on his cheeks, distinct from the visible glow around his entire body.
Danny dropped the mirror on the table and put his face in his hands, hunching over his back. Jazz rubbed large circles into his tense shoulderblades through the thin hazmat suit that had appeared out of nowhere, overtaking his day clothes when he transformed.
Once Danny got his breathing under control, he sat back down in the chair, slumping over and plopping his face on the table. He thought about his current - or past - self’s decision not to inform his parents, and wondered if he ever planned to. Or if he’d keep it from them for the rest of their lives. Or until he was forced to if he was captured and they tried to off or experiment on him.
But… surely, telling them before it got to that point would be easier than if and when it devolved into that hellish situation? But he didn't know. He didn't know the present Maddie and Jack, only the two of them in their versions from four years ago, before ghosts existed for real. Before they weren’t crackpot theories anymore.
There was no way they would hurt Danny. Right? But then why did they not know yet? It was so upsetting.
When Sam and Tucker arrived, seeing Danny hunched over the table in ghost form, he saw them older. They’d both changed so much, but some part of his brain still remembered because, though he noticed the differences from last time, there was no jolt of shock. He had to hope his memory would come back.
Sam pulled him into a hug, which Danny returned feebly. “You got sick? How sick?” Sam asked. Danny looked to Jazz to respond.
“Really sick. His hair turned white.” Sam and Tucker both blanched, and Sam hugged him again.
“Whats the big deal about my hair turning white? It’s white right now,” Danny pointed out.
“It turned white without the transformation. Last time that happened, Sam had to give you CPR. We figured it meant you were actually on death’s doorstep. We need to do some studying about a near-death illness that can cause memory loss,” Jazz mused. “He’d said he didn't hurt anywhere specific, but felt and looked terrible. He was also confused.”
“Well, a couple of lost years is better than a lost Danny,” Tucker said firmly.
Danny smiled a tiny smile. He felt like a complete freak, but those in the room with him still saw him as Danny. They still cared about him. “I’m already half dead, aren't I? Maybe I’d stick around and pretend to be alive. Haunt you all.” They seemed relieved Danny was able to joke about it. “So… this is normal for you?” he wondered, opening his arms and gesturing to his current state.
“Very normal,” Tucker and Sam confirmed.
“Did you react well the first time you saw it?”
“About as well as you since we were there when it happened,” Tucker answered. “Sam told you you should check out the ghost portal. All of this is her fault.” Sam slapped his arm.
“If I knew Mr. and Mrs. Fenton hadn't even tried the on switch I wouldn't have said anything!” But there was clear guilt and shame in her voice. Danny didn't blame her. She never would have willingly had this happen, so there was no reason to assign blame to an unlucky accident. He wasn't going to comment on this revelation. He asked what it was like for them, given he couldn't remember it right now.
His best friends’ expressions darkened. Bad, then. “You were vomiting ectoplasm all over the place. It leaked out of your nose and eyes, too. You were screaming. It was scary, so we’re always relieved the transformation doesn't hurt anymore.”
“Oh… sorry.”
“Ectoplasm is surprisingly easy to clean up,” Tucker said.
“No, I mean, about seeing me like that.”
Jazz crossed her arms. “It’s good they were there or nobody would have known about your situation, and we wouldn't have the amount of information gathered. And the benefit of their support.”
“How’d you find out?” Danny asked his sister, given she seemed a bit miffed when she mentioned him never willingly telling anybody.
“I saw you transform in an alleyway. You never told me.”
Danny scratched the back of his neck. “Well, just based on today alone… I’m glad you were in that alleyway,” he said, sending her a little shy smile. All of her irritation disappeared, and she smiled back. “So… I hide this from everyone and pretend Danny Phantom is someone else?”
“You go by Phantom in this form. And you usually go on nightly patrols to fight other ghosts, but it’s less because you need to protect the city and more to sate your obsession,” Sam said, sitting down on the lab table. Danny frowned, brows furrowing. “It’s a ghost thing. Something you compulsively feel the need to do or your anxiety and stress goes off the charts.”
“Right… fun,” he grumbled. “I wasn't messed up enough before anyways.” They all frowned. “And… mom and dad really don't know?”
“No, because they keep saying crap like wanting to experiment on you,” Tucker said angrily.
“I still stand by my claim they would drop all of that stuff the moment they know the truth,” Jazz added. She looked beyond frustrated, though Danny didn't know if it was with him for keeping it a secret or with their parents for saying those things around Danny. He picked up the compact mirror, and asked how nobody realized it was him. Same face shape, same hair, same voice, probably. “Not quite. The glow makes the contours of your face different, and your voice is very different to human ears. It’s almost static.”
Danny drooped. But at the same time felt relieved that his parents weren’t just being inattentive and not-caring. If he genuinely appeared differently, that was for the better, right? So this secret wasn't all over the place, and he was a public freak. “Wait, the ghost attacks aren't bad? And I only fight them for my benefit?”
“They cause property damage to the extreme, but they don't really try to hurt Amity Park residents. You fighting them sates your obsession, and it’s a good way for them to socialize,” Sam said so easily, like it wasn't weird and awful. Danny fought ghosts for no real reason other than his brain told him to?
He asked, “How do I balance school with all of this crap?” All three of them winced, and Danny chewed on his lip worriedly. They then told him he didn't balance them well, and his grades and attendance were abysmal. Danny wasn't that surprised, but he was disappointed. Doing poorly in high school set him up for failure in college. He didn't ask whether he was planning to go to college. He wouldn't be able to handle it if they said he wasn't.
He sat down again, once more putting his head in his hands. His life was a complete mess.
-x-
Eventually, his parents came back home from their work trip. The four agreed Danny would be taking at least a week’s break from ghost hunting to wait for his memories to (hopefully) return, and that he also would try to keep his memory loss to himself until they knew whether it was actually permanent or not. The thought of it being permanent was upsetting to all of them. But Danny knew they would still stick by him. If they hadn't left him already, they wouldn't now. It would just make everything even more difficult, which he really didn't need.
Danny worked extremely hard to act normal, but when his family were talking about their days, or their plans for the week, or about school, Danny stayed suspiciously silent. Awkward. He didn't know what to answer, because anything he said would be untrue and inaccurate. His parents didn't notice his strange behavior. Maybe because he was always some sort of mess, so him being withdrawn made sense. That was a depressing thought.
Did they ever wonder why his mental health had seemed to plummet the moment he was no longer human? Did they ask? Did Danny lie every time? What a sad future he had.
After dinner, Danny discretely went into the basement, and sat in front of the ghost portal. He felt some of his exhaustion fade, a byproduct of the leaking ecto-energy from the portal. Luckily, his family wasn't affected by it. Just Danny. And not in a bad way.
“Danno? What are you doing down here, son?” Jack asked as he and Maddie went down, no doubt to work. Danny stood up to leave.
“I don't know. Um, I just felt like coming down here,” he said awkwardly. His parents both frowned, but didn't question it. Depressing. “I’ll go to bed now.”
“Okay… oh, do you have any idea of what to talk to Mr. Lancer about tomorrow's meeting?” Danny couldn't keep the confused, dumb look off of his face. Maddie frowned. “Your meeting about college? How to get your abysmal grades back up?”
Danny jolted. “Oh, right. Um, I’m not sure. I can, uh, prepare tonight.”
“Danny, you're acting strange,” Maddie said, worry finally creeping into her voice and face. “Did something happen today?”
Danny shrugged, averting his eyes. “I just haven't felt well all day. Jazz helped me. I feel a bit better now.”
“You're sick? You never get sick.”
He shrugged again. He so badly wanted to tell them, before he remembered all of the specific instances that had made him decide to keep his life a secret. If he got his memories back, would he not want to tell them again? Danny felt like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff.
He fell over it.
“Would you ever not love me anymore?” he asked, seemingly out of nowhere. His mother looked aghast, and Jack just looked baffled by the question.
“We’ll always love you, Danny,” Maddie said firmly. “Please, talk to us. Just this once, confide in us.”
Danny rubbed at the tears already leaking from his eyes. “I don't remember the last four years of my life,” he started with.
That was not what they were expecting. “Why didn't you say anything?” Maddie gasped in shock. “What caused it? We need to take you to the doctor!” Danny didn't let her pull him out of the basement to some doctor who would only do more damage.
“I wanted to go to the doctor, too. Jazz convinced me that wasn't a good idea.” They were even more shocked at that. At Jazz seemingly being callous and irresponsible. And also for keeping this from their parents. Danny wondered how shocked they would be when they found out she’d been lying to them for years to cover for Danny’s second life. “I agree it’s not a good idea, either.”
“Why? You have massive amnesia!”
Danny grabbed his mom’s hand gently, and pressed it to his jugular to feel just how sluggish his heart rate was. Her eyes widened in shock, and deep unease. “There’s… a lot of stuff I forgot. And a lot of stuff I apparently never told you. I want to tell you now in case I get my memories back and they make me choose to keep hiding it.” They both looked so scared of whatever he was going to tell them. “You might want to sit down for this.”
They did.
Danny started to pace. “Apparently three years ago, I went into the ghost portal before it was working. It turned on while I was inside, and blasted me with ectoplasm at the same time that… that it killed me. Since then, I can - I am half ghost.” He finally looked up to see his parents pale as sheets. Danny wasn't sure what was making them pale. The fact he was their enemy, or that he’d kept this from them, or that he’d died that day. “Since then I guess the ghost stuff has tanked my mental health, and the obsession has overtaken my life.”
He shuffled, hesitant to reveal the biggest possible problem. “Also, apparently you guys hate and keep hunting my ghost self.”
Swallowing thickly, Maddie whispered, “Are - are you Phantom?” Her hands were in front of her mouth, horrified at the prospect. Danny shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded in confirmation. Maddie started to sob in guilt for whatever she’d done and said that Danny thankfully couldn't remember.
“All the times we h-hurt you! And the things we said about Phantom - about you,” Maddie cried.
“That’s why I never told you. I’m telling you now because I don't remember any of it,” Danny said, feeling itchy and uncomfortable. Especially from the lack of reaction from his father, who just stared at the wall, stunned in silence. “I’m sorry. I probably… felt unsafe and - and scared you’d hate me still. Even if you know I was him.”
Maddie jumped from her chair and grabbed Danny in a tight, trembling hug. She apologized, and promised that she loved him, was so sorry she made him feel scared and unsafe, and swore that she’d be there for him from now on. Danny sagged against her, knowing he weighed nothing so he wouldn't hurt her.
He cried, too. Cried in relief of their reaction - not that he really doubted them much without the last three years of context - and grief of the life he lost, and had to accept losing all over again. Jack finally stood up and hugged them both.
The buzzing feeling in his chest grew warm and steady, no longer high strung and annoying. His ghost core or whatever. He had so much to relearn. Hopefully, he’d get his memory back soon enough. Then he could be thankful for this little hiccup, because it got him to tell his parents his giant secret.
Eventually, Danny was overcome with exhaustion, mainly emotional exhaustion from the heavy day, and he went to bed. He didn't look forward to going to school tomorrow, but hoped while he was out, his parents could work on accepting things, and maybe forgiving themselves for the things they’d done when they didn't have all of the information.
By morning, Danny’s brain felt like it was about to explode. He turned into his ghost form, as apparently his pain tolerance was better in this body. The pain did go down a bit, but he downed some over the counter pain killers regardless.
As he was walking down the stairs to try and force down breakfast, he stumbled against the wall, and tripped on the last three steps, hitting the floor hard. Everything he’d forgotten flooded back into his mind with a wave of pain. And then, the pain was all gone.
“Oh, fuck,” he said, himself again with the knowledge that he’d told his parents. And… and they accepted him.
He ran into the kitchen, and saw his mom already cooking, Jack doing messy needlepoint at the table. They both looked like they got little sleep. “Tell me last night wasn't a dream,” he demanded frantically.
“You mean, telling us that you're Phantom. And us accepting it?” Jack asked slowly.
A beaming smile spread across Danny’s face, practically glowing in happiness and relief.
“Good news, I got my memory back,” he said, pulling his mom into a hug, which he hadn't done in years. He kicked himself internally for not being as brave as his amnesiac self. For not telling them sooner, and putting himself through so much added, unnecessary pain. Maddie hugged him back, holding him tightly.
“That’s great,” she said faintly, sounding both pleased and not. She had to be thinking that Danny now remembered all of his parents’ transgressions against him.
“I forgive you guys. If you forgive me for being a pathological liar,” he said, a tad awkward but mostly genuine.
“You're forgiven, of course! It was self-protection!”
“It was avoidance and denial. I already knew you’d accept me. One time there was an alternate timeline where you found out years ago and accepted me. I… was just scared that it wasn't real. And that you’d hate me. I’m sorry I didn't tell you sooner.”
“You're 100% forgiven, Danno,” Jack said firmly. “We only hope we can make up for everything we’ve done wrong. Everything.”
Danny smiled. “You can start by letting me skip school today so we can really talk. I have so much to tell you.” He found himself excited to. To get everything he’d gone through off of his chest, finally.
They agreed, and Danny organized everything he wanted to tell them in his mind while they ate pancakes. Jazz walked down with a wide grin, realizing just by their expressions what had happened. “About time, little brother,” she said, planting a kiss on his head. Danny blushed and scowled at her.
“I’m not gonna tell you you were right all along.”
“I don't need you to tell me, I already know it.”
They have no possible way of finding this out, but the amnesia was a response to his super immune system aggressively targeting cancer cells. Dodged cancer with just a bit of amnesia. I'm new the the DP fandom so feel free to leave fic recommendations in the comments!