Chapter Text
Rose took one more look at Emily and reminded her that she would text her during each practice break before reluctantly leaving. Emily sighed in relief as her girlfriend shut the apartment door. When people were around, especially Rose, she was doing a great job at being strong about her knee injury. When she went down, she didn't cry like Mal did with a similar injury. Her head was spinning, and she knew something was very wrong, but she didn't scream or cry. Just let them load her onto the stretcher and carry her away from the game and the woman she loved.
From there, she was poked and prodded and quickly underwent surgery before Rose had even returned from Gotham's long road trip. While Rose offered to fly in, Emily insisted that she was ok and that there was nothing Rose could do. In fact, Emily felt better not having Rose there because it made it less real. While the doctors and trainers talked her through her injuries and explained what was going on with her body, Emily felt like she was stuck back on the field the night of her injury. As if it was all a nightmare, and she was just waiting to wake up and go play in her Friday game.
Emily hadn't let herself cry or think about the upcoming World Cup. Rather than feeling panicked, she just felt numb. Friends like Kelley and Sam had visited, and she put on her best happy face and cracked jokes with them. It was harder with Rose, her girlfriend of two years. When she looked at Rose, she saw her girlfriend's fears about her injuries and grief about the moments they wouldn't get to share on the pitch for the next year together. For the time being, Emily couldn't find it in her to address her own feelings, let alone Rose's.
Now that Rose had left for training, Emily had another exciting full day of doing nothing but resting her leg. She slumped into the couch and closed her eyes. Their living room felt blurry and her eyes felt so heavy.
Meanwhile, at practice, Rose was checking her phone more frequently than usual - hoping to hear from her stubborn girlfriend. While team members knew they were oddly close, only Tierna knew they were actually dating. At the first water break, Rose found a meme she thought Emily would appreciate, and sent it to her. Humor had always been a way the two communicated. While Emily was trying to be strong, Rose could tell that she was barely hanging on. Emily had refused to discuss World Cup timeline, but Rose could tell it was weighing extra heavily on her partner. While she wanted to discuss it more with Emily, she didn't want to press Emily while she was still so fresh off surgery.
At the next water break, Rose rushed to her bag to once again check her phone. She sighed deeply when she saw that Emily still hadn't responded to her or sent her any signs of life. She didn't want to be overbearing, but she desperately wanted to know that Emily is ok. Deciding to be more direct, she texted Emily "Just checking in! Can you let me know you're ok? Want me to pick up some food on the way home?". Coach was calling them all back, so Rose sprinted onto the field and tried hard to focus on practice. Only about an hour of conditioning left, and then she could drive home and check in on Emily herself.
By the time practice was finally over, Rose reached for her phone as quickly as she could. Still nothing. Something about this wasn't sitting right with Rose. While Emily had been withdrawn and moody, they never ignored each other's texts. Years of being in different places had taught them how important staying in contact was. Rose decided to forgo her usual shower and raced to the parking lot to head home.
Upon entering their apartment, she found Emily sound asleep on their couch. Rose let out a sigh and was feeling foolish for how panicked she had felt while her girlfriend was just getting some much needed rest. However, when she stepped closer, something didn't feel quite right. Emily was usually a hard,peaceful sleeper, but right now, her breathing was shallow and her brow was furrowed, and she was whimpering a little.
Rose debated letting her sleep, but she needed to wake her and assess her. Gently, Rose shook her shoulder and whispered her name. Emily bolted upright. "Hey Em, it's just me" Rose tried to soothe. Emily gasped awake. Everything about her body hurt. Her knee, her head, and her heart. She felt a soft hand pressing against her shoulder and looked around wildly until her eyes met worried blue-green ones. Emily felt tears fill her eyes, and all the feelings she had been holding off for 2 weeks broke free. Rose laid a hand on her forehead and tried to get her to lay back. From somewhere above, Emily heard her favorite voice saying "It's ok Em. Just lay back. Can you tell me what hurts?"
Despite the reassurances from Rose, Emily couldn't get her brain to settle. Suddenly, it hit her that she had had a major surgery a year out from the World Cup. Emily cried for all the games she would miss with Gotham and the national team. She cried for the plans her and Rose had for the next year. She cried for the uncertainty of coming back from a major injury in her 30s. Everything felt so overwhelming, and Emily was starting to find breathing hard.
At this point, Rose was getting desperate. Despite her reassurances, she felt like Emily barely knew she was there. Emily's breath was hitching, and Rose was worried that she wasn't able to get enough air. She sprinted to the kitchen and got a paper bag. Coming back next to Emily, she forced the bag into Emily's hands and guided it to Emily's mouth. She counted breathing in and out for Emily and felt her partner's shaking slowing slightly.
Finally, Emily felt like she could get a full breath. She felt the calmness coming back but also a deep embarrassment. Rose positioned herself behind Emily and rubbed circles on her back, trying to soothe. Emily hung her head in shame and rested her head on her one good knee that she could bend upwards. She felt so tired. Rose let her rest for a minute, then softly asked "hey honey, can you tell me what's going through your head". The word honey triggered something in Emily. Her and Rose were big on nicknames, but not pet names.
"I don't want to be hurt. I just want to play soccer with you" she whined to Rose. She felt herself crying again and tucked her face deeper into her good knee. Her injured one sat uselessly next to it, and she glared down at it.
"Oh honey, I know. I don't want you to be hurt either. But is there anything in the moment I can do to make your feel more comfortable right now?" Rose asked. Seeing her girlfriend still bent over and crying made her feel helpless. She gently placed her hand on Emily's good knee and pressed it downward while helping her girlfriend lay back. Then she looked her in the eye and said "I know it's hard right now, but we're going to get through this together. I just need you to communicate how you're feeling with me and let me in when things get hard."
She paused to think and then said "What would make you feel better for tonight? I could order some food and we could snuggle and watch a movie? Or I can call Kelley or Tierna and see if either of them could come hang out with us and bring some food?" Emily immediately stiffened and said "no visitors, but a movie sounds good."
Rose knew she would have to prod into the way her very social girlfriend didn't want people around later, but for now, she was happy to lay on the couch with Emily. She flipped a movie on, and within 30 minutes, they were both asleep.