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“Thank you,” Minje says, gaze trained onto the litany of pebbles surrounding the tarnished edges of their shoes, “for being the only constant thing that has ever remained in my life.”
They’re sitting on the edges of an abandoned railroad, desolate and unkempt, smearing the flora that blooms near it, like a contagious disease. Brown and gray, miserable and hideous, etches themselves into the tall grass, a distinct variation from the trees towering, looming over them. This, too, is merely a reminder of what will happen, is it not? Minje is doomed to leave, and Keiju will do nothing but watch him drift away until his face will never be seen again, watered down to the status of a phantom cursed with memories. “Don’t thank me,” Keiju exhales, because it is the only thing he can do. “You chose to stay.”
“I don’t want to go.” The truth breaks free in the form of a beast, gnawing at the confines of its enclosure, making an escape the moment it has ensured nobody will be around to catch it, returning it to a place they don’t belong. “I don’t want to lose you.” He reaches forward, fingers intertwining with Keiju’s own, tenderness thawing the cold. “I did everything I could. I lied to them and tried to rebel and told them I’ve been doing great academically, that I’ve had no trouble getting along with my classmates since the day I introduced myself, that I’ve been enjoying life here—” Somewhere along the line, Minje’s voice fades into static, and Keiju glances at their hands, slotted together like they had been destined to be there all along.
In another universe, he would have let himself linger there. In another universe, he would never have moved an inch, fearful that a single shift would disrupt the equilibrium they’d been treading upon, but here, Keiju retracts his palm, still lukewarm from Minje’s touch, pulls him close, and kisses him. The thing about Keiju is that he has never been programmed to love in a way that wouldn’t hurt anybody, especially himself. Minje had told him once that he resembled a cat, his words growing garbled between the sound of his laughter, and Keiju’s first thought had been: Wouldn’t it be painful, if they lay their claws on you? He does not know who pulled away first, or who had been the one to walk away from this battle without orchestrating a fight. Neither of them will win against fate.
Releasing the chain wound around him, he wraps it around Minje, and watches a star fall in the shape of a pendant. “Wish on it,” Keiju says, gesturing to the necklace that would no longer be his, the dangling charm crafted exactly as if it belonged in the cosmos. “Wish on it, and tell me you won’t forget me.”
Is he imagining it, when Minje presses the edges of the same star into his flesh? All of this is decidedly real, Keiju thinks. Minje’s features soften into something completely devoid of tension, despite everything that is looming on the horizon. “I love you. Do you know that?” The words echo like a soft ringing that would stay unperturbed for a long, long time. “I wish I’d told you more often.” Minje looks at him, bearing nothing akin to the sharpness of a blade, and Keiju spares him a glance in return before the ghost of a smile appears, even if a timer is counting down the hours until they will become nothing but parallel lines, ones that will never find their way back to each other again.
“I know.” It is a bittersweet thing, really, that neither of them had ever felt the need to prod, to ask about the other’s thoughts just so they could be understood completely. Keiju knocks his knee against Minje’s, knowing this is the last time they will be together in a way that doesn’t incite a farewell: “Should we?”
“Sure,” he answers, taking in the scenery sprawled before them for the last time. Against the wrath of time, Minje succumbs to his destiny. Keiju’s fingers are buried in the fabric of his jacket by the time Minje rises, and they begin their walk back to his place — where a plethora of boxes litter the floor of the entryway, where everything has become barren, another shell of a home with no one to live in it.