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Bilbo saw Thorin, now with a scowl on his face, heading to the deeper parts of the forest. He couldn't go after him, he would never be able to justify knowing why Thorin is so taken aback. So the only way he could comfort him, was the old fashioned way.
He concentraded. Filling his mind with thoughts of Thorin, his face, his hands, his hair. In the beginning, it took him minutes to actually reach him, but now it was barely seconds. He slowly opened his eyes, and instead of the campfire and their bags, there was a dwarf in front of him.
He was sitting on the floor, gazing ahead, at what Bilbo thought was the direction of the mountain. Thorin's feelings were overwelming the hobbit. He was sad, uncomfortable, even a bit angry. Bilbo knew why. He always knew why.
It didn't make it any easier to soothe him.
They went through the whole journey complaining and bickering at each other, and that brought them nothing but trouble. They had to resolve this, sooner rather than later. But Bilbo Baggins was so tired of pretending. For many years he had to be the weird hobbit of Bag End, feigning to be sociable and kind. Still, every respectable Hobbit knew he was odd. He was Belladona Took's son, of course he would be odd. But for the Shire, none of that mattered.
And after his parents died, if it wasn't for Thorin, he would've turned into a lonely mess of a Hobbit. The troublesome dwarf in front of him saved him, even without knowing. And he wanted to save him too, regardless if it had to be from Thorin himself.
He could be understanding if need be. And he could be kind.
Especially for his dwarf.
"Thorin." He kept facing forward, playing with a piece of rock in his hands. The forest was dark, so it was hard to make out his features, but Bilbo knew his face was blank. He got used to seeing it.
"Darling, speak to me." Bilbo said softly, aproaching him.
"I have nothing to speak to you. And i think you would be rather displeased with what i have to say."
"Why do you have to be so difficult? I'm trying to help you. Let me do something," he reached for Thorin, only to stop right before touching him. Afraid that he would ruin everything, he had to take each step carefuly.
He knew the dwarf was trying to ignore him the best he could, but he also knew that Thorin would eventually give in. "I'm afraid there's nothing you can help me with. It would only make you angrier. I don't wish to have another fight, Bilbo. Please, just leave."
Bilbo never wanted to fight, but if Thorin is going to be so recluse, there was little he could do to avoid it. He wasn't going to pretend that nothing was happening. "You can't just decide that by yourself, you're not bonded to a rock, Thorin. You're bonded to me! I deserve a say on this. I understand it is difficult for-"
Thorin suddenly jerked towards him, staring at the hobbit. "You don't understand! If you did, you wouldn't be doing this! You wouldn't be angry and resentful. I wouldn't have to force myself to be apart from you."
Anger was flashing in his eyes, his hands tightly clutched to his side.
Bilbo wanted to deny it, say that Thorin was wrong and that he was just being dramatic, but he couldn't. He was right, Bilbo didn't really understand all of this, but he was trying really hard to. He had been trying so much through the whole journey to be a good partner, to let all of their disaggreaments in the past, to move forward and fix this mess. It looked like Thorin just didn't want to do any of that, and Bilbo was tired of knowing, and understanding and pretending that he wasn't supposed to be angry just because he knew everything. He was still pissed of, he was still tired, and it never meant that he would stop loving and caring for Thorin. The king was just so pig-headed he couldn't see what was right before his eyes. He couldn't stop for a second to understand his side.
When he looked at Thorin, he couldn't stop his eyes from softening. "Thorin, my dear, i'm not pissed that you're not telling the company we are linked, or Ones or whichever it is you believe we are. I am angry that i can't be myself around you! I can't go after you when you're off sulking because i'm not suppose to know you. I can't hold your hand when you make that painful face, i can't- i can't touch you, or- or be close to you and you know that's unfair! I waited years to have a chance to meet you, and when i finally do, you're off pretending you don't know who i am! Stop being such a savage!"
Bilbo hit his shoulders and droped down to his knees, now shuffling closer to Thorin. Their thighs were touching. "See, i wasn't even suppose to know you're sad now, if i didn't really know you. You've seen the worst parts of my life, as i did yours. I want to be proud of it, sing praises to the winds, but i know it is not what you truly wish. Nor what you need. I do understand you, silly dwarf, i just don't agree with what you're doing."
Thorin averted his eyes, now full of guilt. All Bilbo wanted to do was take that pain away.
"I'm sorry, ghivashel... i should've warned you or asked you beforehand, but you have to understand, this," he waved his hands between them, "is sacred. I want it to be just for us, and my people are not allowed to talk about this to anyone, it's private. Your One is your most precious treasure, it is a gift from Mahal himself, the other half of your soul. To announce that weakness for everyone to see is considered almost a crime, and it is foolish. I know it was cruel to pretend not to know you, and i'm deeply sorry and ashamed for it, i just couldn't think of anything else. I was desperate."
Bilbo looked into his eyes, and he could almost see the regret in it. He didn't need words to know that Thorin was tired of pretending too. "But it's- No, you are right, it is not my right to judge you, but you could've asked! At least tried to make a plan, with me, to solve it. Argh, you pigheaded dwarfs and your terrible secret rules! Damned be all of you! Aklâf ," he stood up, walking around in circles, trying to think of a way to solve the mess he made, "but what should we do now? It's going to be harder for me to pretend to not know anything for so long! It is a miracle no one noticed till now, if they really didn't and are not just pretending. You know your feelings will be stronger the moment we get closer to the mountain and it will start to affect me too. By Eru, what would they think if i cried in front of Erebor? There's no explaining that!"
When the hobbit came to his senses, Thorin was already walking towards him. "Shh, Bilbo, relax," he held Bilbo's arms and touched their foreheads together, "we will figure something out. Thank you for playing along with this, i know you never wanted to. I promise i will tell them, when i'm strong enough to protect us. They deserve to know."
Bilbo almost melted on the spot. "You don't have to thank me for it, you know that right? I would do anything for you. By Mahal's beard it's so hard to be mad at you! When you are all sorry and sappy," he cupped Thorin's face in his hands, and kissed his lips slow and softly. All of the anger vanished from him in a instant and all he could feel was tenderness. All he could think was love, "now i must leave, or they will begin to suspect why i'm so quiet all of a sudden. Come back safe, okay?"
"I will be going in just a moment, don't worry," Thorin held Bilbo's hand, still resting in his face. The dwarf was stroking his thumb in the back of his hand, trying to calm him, "everything will be just alright, amralime.
And just like he got there, Bilbo vanished. Going back to his own body and place on the campfire, his presence seeming unnoticed.