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Would You Fall in Love with Me Again?

Summary:

After Homulucifer's defeat, Homura feels like she deserves nothing. Madoka is there to prove her wrong.

Notes:

To celebrate the release of the new Puella Magi Madoka Magica movie, I decided to publish a little one-shot about this series, which I absolutely loved.

The title is taken from the final song of EPIC the Musical, for symbolic reasons, and because I like that song.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Homura Akemi deserved nothing. Even less than nothing. 

She had betrayed Madoka, taking advantage of her infinite kindness and selflessness by separating her mortal self from her divine form and interfering with the Law of Cycles, all to restore the normal, happy life her friend had given up. 

Of course, she couldn't keep Madoka trapped forever; she had realized that immediately. She had vowed to become her enemy if, when Madoka broke free. 

She had promised to fight Madoka for the happiness she deserved, even as Madoka sought to sacrifice herself for the good of the rest of the world. 

It hadn't been a particularly effective threat. Even the Incubator had noticed and pointed that out. 

She had said, told herself that she was doing it all for Madoka’s sake. That she was giving back the life Madoka had been forced to sacrifice, that she was protecting her. 

The truth, the harsh, selfish truth, was that she didn't care about Madoka's choices or desires. She simply wanted Madoka to be happy, at any cost, even at the cost of the world, and even if it meant going against Madoka herself. 

But, in her infinite kindness, Madoka had forgiven her and brought her into her Heaven for puella magi, maintaining that Homura, too, was a kind of witch who needed to be saved. 

She had wanted to refuse, to be left to die, but Madoka had given her no choice. She had dragged her up to the Heaven, bound by the red ribbons she had returned to her, despite all her protests. 

In all honesty, she didn't feel she could truly complain, considering she had done the exact same thing to Madoka. 

As she thought about her obsession love friend, she realized Madoka had just appeared right behind her, revealed by the pristine white ribbons she wore and the very cosmos swirling around her omnipotence, a sort of ironic physical embodiment of the fact that Madoka was the center of her universe. 

"Hey, Homura-chan." she said, hugging her from behind. 

Homura couldn't stop her face from flushing red as she felt Madoka’s soft breasts pressing against her shoulders. 

"Are you okay?" 

Trying to recover from her embarrassment, unbecoming of a demon trapped in Heaven, Homura lied. 

"I'm fine. I am in Heaven, after all." she replied, shaking her head. 

Madoka’s embrace tightened. As if to protect her. As if to keep her from running away. To protect her from herself. 

"Don't lie to me." Madoka said. Or rather, she pleaded. She, the Goddess who had defeated and sealed her away in Her realm, pleaded with her. 

Then Madoka gripped her shoulders, pressing her soft, gloved hands into her bare skin "I know you aren't okay. I know. How could you be, after everything that’s happened to you, everything you’ve done?

Homura longed to struggle, to pull away, but she couldn't find the strength. It wasn't because Madoka was stronger, or because she was bound by those red ribbons, at least, not entirely. She lacked the strength to even make the attempt, simply because Madoka was holding her. 

Despite everything, despite not deserving it, she still couldn't bring herself to reject Madoka's affection. For all her ascension to Devil and Adversary of God, deep down she remained that sad, lonely girl who yearned desperately for affection. 

All Homura could manage was a smile to reassure Madoka, but it was a forced, unsettling smile, much like she was herself. 

"I assure you, I'm fine." she lied "I may have lost the war, but I'm not doing badly. I'm with you again..." 

At that moment, Homura made the mistake of turning toward Madoka. She saw those golden eyes glistening, heavy-lidded, and a melancholy smile upon her face. 

"Oh, Homura-chan." the Goddess, Madoka, said, resting her left hand against Homura's right cheek "I'm so sorry." 

The Devil’s eyes widened in surprise at those words, while the Goddess took advantage of her confusion to lean in and kiss her forehead. 

"I was truly cruel to you." 

Madoka’s voice was barely louder than a whisper on the wind, yet to Homura, it felt like a stone dropped into still water. 

She gasped, frozen, as Madoka pulled away from her forehead. 

The Devil found herself stammering. 

"W-what?" 

The very idea that Madoka, of all people, was apologizing to HER, the one who had betrayed, divided, and imprisoned her, was so... absurd and contradictory that Homura’s mind could not process the anomaly. 

"I'm sorry; I was cruel to you." Madoka repeated to her "When I made my wish, I left you all alone, left you to pine for my memory until you went mad because of me. And I did nothing to help you, convinced that the Law of Cycles would fix everything, acting just as indifferent as Kyubey." 

She gave a bitter laugh. 

"What kind of friend am I?" 

Homura’s first reaction upon hearing Madoka berate herself so harshly was to freeze. Of course, it wasn't the first time Madoka had doubted herself or resorted to self-deprecation, but never to the point of calling herself cruel or comparing herself to the Incubator. 

Her next move, naturally, was to comfort Madoka. She turned toward her and cupped Madoka’s cheeks in her hands, searching for tears to wipe away, even though ribbons still bound her wrists. 

Finding no tears, Homura simply held her face and said "Don't you dare say that. Don't compare yourself to that... thing. It knew exactly what it was doing; you only acted the way you did because we put you in that situation. What happened, what I did, is entirely my fault..." 

She bowed her head, feeling unworthy of even looking at Madoka as self-loathing surged back stronger than ever. 

Madoka had come to comfort her, something she didn't deserve in the first place, and yet she had only managed to hurt her further. 

All she ever did was cause harm... 

She should have simply died a long time ago... 

"While I don't blame you for trying to save me, on this last point, unfortunately, I cannot argue." Madoka admitted, her tone almost curt, as if she were holding back anger at her old friend's betrayal. 

Homura lifted her face, her mouth hanging open in shock. Of all people, she did not expect her Goddess, Madoka, to be the one to confirm her guilt. 

Not that she harbored any illusions to the contrary. She, more than anyone, knew she was a demon. 

"After all, there’s a reason you’re still bound. I don’t want to risk being stabbed in the back again." Madoka continued, gently moving Homura’s bound hands away from her face. 

But instead of letting go, she clasped them, interlacing their fingers. 

"But even though I can’t ignore your betrayal, I also can’t ignore the path that led you to make those choices." 

Homura could only stare at the girl before her "M-Madoka..." 

"You relived the same month nearly a hundred times, accumulating so much trauma that you transformed from a sweet, shy girl into a battle-hardened warrior ready to take any action she deemed necessary, without ever succumbing to despair... All for me. Just because I was kind to you in the first timeline." Madoka recalled, her tone filled with regret "After everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve done for me... letting you die would simply be too cruel for both of us." 

To say this unleashed a storm of emotions within Homura would be a massive understatement. 

The emotional and irrational part of her felt angry at Madoka for being so forgiving toward someone who had betrayed her trust, much like she had with the Incubator, yet she also felt guilty for harboring such resentment. 

Her rational side was astonished, then felt foolish for having been surprised; after all, she ought to have known Madoka better than anyone, given the time she had spent protecting her. 

The selfish part of her, however, had the audacity to feel happy. Happy that Madoka acknowledged her devotion and wanted to reciprocate in some way. 

But she didn't deserve to be happy. 

All these emotions, swirling together, manifested in a single action. 

"Why don't you hate me?!" the Devil screamed, pulling away from the Goddess. 

Her shout was loud enough to shake the surrounding galaxies, yet not enough to even slightly bother the Goddess standing before her. 

The Goddess simply grabbed the Devil by the head and pulled it close to her own in a single motion. 

"Because I love you too much to hate you, you stupid idiot!

For the third time in that conversation, Homura found herself open-mouthed. 

"What?" she whispered, her heart filled with fear, confusion, doubt, and... hope

That curse, like a treacherous beast, or a seductive pink-haired succubus in white lingerie... 

Her mind was wandering; the point was, she had thought she had eliminated it long ago, at least from within herself, but it had returned, stronger than ever. 

At that point, Madoka realized what she had just said. She swallowed nervously; she hadn't planned on starting that conversation right then. 

"I meant to talk to you about it, sooner or later." Madoka said, looking away for a moment "I guess we're talking about it now." 

In her current state, Homura could only nod, her gaze vacant. She was experiencing far too many emotions that day. 

"As you already know, after making my wish, I regained the memories of all the timelines." Madoka explained, and Homura nodded. 

She was momentarily frozen. You couldn't blame her. 

"And... I discovered that I had already fallen in love with you. In the original timeline. And the second one, too. And the one after that. And in most of the timelines where I truly got to know you." 

Madoka... had fallen in love with her? 

How? What? The FUCK?! 

"Huh?" 

The sound escaped her lips as a squeak, yet the intensity born of her nervousness was enough to shatter a window. 

Madoka blushed and looked away, then turned her gaze back to Homura. The Devil was trying to rebuild her signature facade, to distance, protect, herself from the emotions she was feeling, but she was failing, given how shaken she was. 

"W-why?" she asked, her voice wavering yet curious "Why did you fall in love with me?" 

"I have to admit, at first I just thought you were cute. Cute and adorable." Madoka couldn't help but chuckle softly at the thought of how moe Homura had been in the beginning. 

Homura, conversely, looked away, embarrassed and humiliated. So much time spent pretending to be strong for Madoka, all of it wasted because of her past weakness. 

"But... the more time I spent with you, the more I felt there was something special between us." Madoka continued. 

Homura turned her gaze back to the girl she loved so dearly. 

"I loved going out with you, walking through fields of flowers and along the beach, shopping, singing, dancing, hugging, holding hands... I couldn't live without it anymore... Do you remember, Homura?" she asked, offering a faint, nostalgic smile. 

"Yes..." Homura nodded, feeling a sense of nostalgia herself. 

She fondly remembered the time before she had embarked on her mission, when she and Madoka had simply enjoyed life together, with no witches or anything else to ruin it. 

Then, the light faded from Homura's eyes. 

"I am not the girl you fell in love with." she murmured, her voice husky with sadness, as she lowered her gaze. 

Then, Homura felt Madoka’s hand, warm as the Sun, rest against her cheek and gently lift her head, finding herself gazing into Madoka’s golden eyes. 

Even the most oblivious girl would have recognized the immense love those eyes conveyed. 

"I will fall in love with you over and over again, I don't care how, where, or when, no matter how long it's been, you're mine, Homura-chan." 

And with that, Madoka pressed her lips against Homura’s. 

For a moment, Homura didn't know what to do. 

Then, she clung to Madoka and accepted the kiss, letting herself be cradled by her love. 

Afterwards, they would dry her tears. 

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed it! While I'm quite proud of this one-shot, I admit it was a bit rushed, so I'm open to criticism. Thanks for reading!