Chapter Text
Since the moment Neil Josten was more than just a name, Neil promised himself he’ll document all the important parts of his life. He almost lost it all once and he wasnt gonna lose it again. not now when he was finally allowed to have his life and live it as he wished. not after he managed to escape.
In his first year with the foxes, his sophomore year of college, he finally got a phone. and Neil was going to use it to capture every little bit of his life. just to prove that he exists. to stick it to his fathers face and say “fuck you” as loude as he can.
🞂—--------------------------------
“Neil,” Andrew whispered.
“what?” Neil whispered back.
“Put your phone down.”
“I need to record this.”
“You're recording this on your phone? “ Andrew chuckled at him.
“Well, not everyone has your memory!” Neil half-shouted half-whispered.
“Why do you need a recording of Waymack’s pre-game speech anyway?? They always suck.”
“Well, it’s just- I thought- it’s our last game tog-”
“Alright foxes, listen up-” Waymack started his crappy pep-talk.
Neil knows it's not the last one he'll hear, but it's not going to be the same. It's the last time he’ll hear one with the Monsters all together, the last bit of his original fox-friends. Next year will be rough. Him alone again, without Andrew.
🞂—--------------------------------
Neil was on his way to Andrew for the first time since Andrew finished college and left Neil for his final year. Andrew was playing for a professional team, and to Neil's enjoyment Andrew made a few allies in the team.
reminder to self: the new monsters, or the professional monsters, are Jackie, Roby, and Rinn. and Kevin, of course, that hasn't changed. Rinn isn't much of a talker and Jackie is mostly bark no bite. Roby reminds me a lot of Nicky. Allison thinks he and Rinn have something and she betted on it so I'm getting intel."
🞂—--------------------------------
"Wait, wait. Say that again, say that again.” Neil said with such glee it can drive you mad.
“No way.”
“Come ooon Andrew, admit it!” Neil was smiling ear to ear, he couldn't believe he got Andrew to say it.
“You're recording this? Really?”
“Yeah!”
“You gonna show it to Kevin?"
Neil was tempted, but he can live with keeping this just to himself if Andrew said so.
“I just want it on the record. Andrew Joseph Minyard admits to enjoying exy!”
“You are such a junkie, no, I said I can tolerate playing against YOU because it’s fun blocking your shots”
“You said you have fun playing exy! it doesn't matter how.”
“you’re a junkie”
“I thought I was nothing”
“You are.”
“A junkie is something.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.” Neil had his mischievous glint in his eyes and Andrew just about lost it.
🞂—--------------------------------
“Neil!” Andrew was yelling from the other side of the road, walking towards Neil.
He was visiting Neil at PSU, his pro team had their final game for this round and were given a week off before they went into death-matches and Andrew used it to go to his junkie.
“Neil.” Andrew said, now standing in front of him.
“Hey,” Neil smiled at him, he's really going to miss this once Andrew has to go back.
“I thought you had practice, why aren't you at the court?”
“Just felt like running, sorry." Neil didn't want this week to be gloomy. He finally saw Andrew after being apart for so long. No one said how hard it is to be living in different countries after shearing a room for three years
“Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.”
“Were you timing yourself?”
“No, I was just recording.”
“Recording what?”
“Just wanted to capture the foxhole in all its glory.”
“Do you ever listen back?”
“Not yet.”
“Are you planning to?”
“Yes, whenever I'll miss the foxes, or you. Still can't believe we're going to play for different teams.”
“You’ll have Boyd with you.”
“Comfort doesn't suit you Drew.”
🞂—--------------------------------
“I wanna go on the record for this wait i need mt phone!” neil’s voice was still strain and shaky.
“I’m already recording rabbit. stay in bed your injured”
“I’m fine.” Neil insisted for the seventh time that day.
andrew didnt look convinced.
“alright alright. today is…”
“March 10
“March 10, 2012, we are in the hospital-”
“because neil is a junkie that dosent know when to stop”
“-it is currently 2:19 and after a very lonely night with doctors”
“idiots”
“we figured it will be smart to get married!!”
“yes because you cant be trusted to use you fucking phone.”
“i mean aaron called you once he saw me in the hospital”
“lucky for you he had a shift today or this marriage would've ended in a funeral home”
“anyway, for legal reasons andrew need to legally be my family in order to be with me in a hospital so we will be fixing this tommorrow, or is it technically today?”
🞂—--------------------------------
“Today, July 20th 2012, was our final match on separate teams, and next year's is going to be the first time Andrew and I are playing on the same team since college. I know it isn't a major event for Andrew, but I found his favorite ice cream and was hoping we could celebrate together, or just eat ice cream and watch a movie.” Neil said to the recorder.
He unlocked the door with his key. He liked doing it. having a key. a home.
“Andrew, I'm home. look what i found at the market-” Neil was shouting at the entrance.
Andrew was standing in the living room with a note in his hand, a note from a certain FBI agent. Agent Browning. “Whats this?”
“shit.”
🞂—--------------------------------
That night while Neil talked with Browning Andrew left for a drive. and never came back.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. What am I gonna do? How can I explain this?? Andrew is never going to trust me again! For the record I never meant to hurt him, I just wanted a fresh start! I wasn't lying about everything, stupid browning- he ruins everything! I thought we were done with the case!!”
🞂—--------------------------------
“It is currently 17:27, After listening to some of my recordings, I think I have an idea on how to prove to Andrew I wasn't lying. I don't want to jinx it, but I am on my way to his house in Colombia. Let's just hope I'm right and he's there.”
🞂—--------------------------------
Neil and Andrew enjoyed going on road trips and long drives at night together. Whenever one of them woke up from a bad dream, or Neil was upset because of a match they lost and needed to run, they would get in the black Maserati and drive into the unknown. The quiet drives always calmed Neil and helped him clear his head. However, Neil never would've thought that he would feel so stressful and anxious on one of them. He never would've guessed he'd be the one driving, especially not in the woods, and especially not alone.
“The date is July 23 2012, my name is… Neil Josten, and I have been lying to my husband since the moment I met him.” Neil said to the device, "I am going on the record here to make this right. To remember.”
The time was about 18:13 and Neil just realised he forgot his charger at the court,“I have about 30 minutes left before my phone dies. So…
So I don't have very much time to convince him, I guess.”
the GPS interrupted neil to declare on the right turn to the shady road.
“there is literally nothing here… not even the radio is working. if im going to die here in all places. after everything” neil exhales a humorless laugh
“Well I hope Andrew will at least find the car or my phone or even my racket….” he mumbled to himself.
🞂—---------------------------------------
Andrew's family cabin looked fitting. Remote, alone, the perfect place to hide from the world to get some ‘me time’, especially after finding out your husband was lying to you about who he is from the moment you've met him.-and refusing to acknowledge it-
“I am not setting him a trap really. This isn't one of my father’s games. i am not him” he tried to convince himself
“My mission is to salvage the most important relationship I have ever had. I just need to get to the door and explain everything”
Neil traced the ghost of a key on his palm. Andrew took the key with him and they never thought they'd be needing a spare one, they were always so caught up in each other's gravity, they never imagined needing to drive all the way to columbia just to get away from the other, usually when they fought they worked things out instead of running from them, which was a very welcomed change to Neil from his previous lifestyle.
How was he supposed to get in when Andrew so clearly despised just the sight of him at this moment? Neil didn't know, but he was about to find out as he was nearing his destination.
there was a faint sound of drilling coming from the house.
“I just need to do it. no more running away. just knock” neil took a deep breath in preparation “okay here we go”
Neil knocked three times. his lucky number.
everything stopped. Not a single sound was heard.
He tried again, a little harder.
nothing.
“Andrew, come on, I know you're in there. Can you just open the door?”
no answer.
“Okay you can also just not… “ he mumbled to himself. “I know it's fair given the circumstance, but-” he couldn't think of a good argument.
he had truly, deeply, ruined Andrew's trust in him.
“how about a deal? you'll let me in and if after we've talked you still want me gone i will leave.”
still no answer.
“okay how about ill just slip you some papers through the mail slot and let you decide"
“Let me know if you've opened it, and I'll just… stare at these trees for the meantime.”
Neil was hoping his plan would work.
outside it was filled with mosquitoes who are attracted to Neil's fresh wounds from their last game this season.
“awsome. mosqitoes. worst then riku those fuck ass creatures”
“andrew…? ” he tried again after a few moments.
“okay either inside is my husband, andrew joseph minyard, who lives at 222 avenue and playing under the number 13 in the US court, or there is a stranger in his childhood home.”
“whoever it is- it'd be really cool of you to open the door!” he shouted
“Also I really have to pee so…”
“alright! I'll play your game! im not me, youre not you,everything is a hallucination and this is just a dream”
“Whoever you are, you have a lot in common with my husband. you have the same car so either he sold it or im screaming at a thief”
“Andrew, it's me. I know you. I drove like 27 hours to get here. Can you open the door?”
“I know you can hear me. and I know you're listening!”
Neil was starting to lose hope. Maybe he did ruin everything.
“I'll tell you everything. the truth. all of it. anything you wanna know. you deserve to at least know who you're trying to let go”
“You are not the monster they say you are. I know you care and you want to know what happened.”
“I promise this is not what you think, I had a very good reason to lie, can you just hear me out?”
“i know you don't trust me anymore, and it's really all my fault. and if its worth something i also don't know who i am at this point. might as well be stephan or chris it doesn't matter i just know that for the first time i was able to be real with someone, i was real with you andrew i can prove it.”
No matter how hard Neil tried there was still no answer. but after a 27 hour drive and 2 flat tires he had to change in the middle of a storm Neil wasn't giving up.
he’ll run all the way here if that's what it'll take for Andrew to just hear him out.
“Andrew, just hear me out and I'll tell you all the truth. Let me in. You will never have to see me again after this.”
Saying please would be unnecessary. It wouldn't help him. he can’t keep begging for much longer.
“There are mosquitoes everywhere and I can feel them on my skin eating my alive and sucking all my blood.”
Neil was getting desperate. He will try anything at this point he just wants to make things right. He wants Andrew back and he wants late night drives and night practice. He wants ice cream and movie date night. He wants his life back. Neil's life.
“andrew”
There were footsteps coming from the house towards the door, and the sound of the locks being open.
“i am only letting you in so you won't get eaten alive.”
andrew was standing at the door and neil felt like maybe this wasn't so hopeless after all
“dont get any stupid ideas i still hate you” andrew still blocked neils way in the house
“understood” Neil noded
“and I don't trust you.”
“didnt think you would.”
Andrew waited a moment for this to make sure Neil understood and moved from the door frame to let Neil in.