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After the match in Istanbul, the Champions League match no less, the relief and joy among the Dortmund players connects them like an electrical current. It is not the most important match yet, not by far, but this win early in the season is so vital for morale and will be a motivator later.
Although the player of the evening was without a doubt Jude, Erling was chosen for post-match interviews. "Bless him," Reus snickered behind Jude. "Does he like these interviews because he can seem so eager answering all the questions without saying much, or does he hate them because they make him nervous? His accent is always so strong when he does them."
Although Jude would have considered himself well-educated in all things Haaland, enough to pass an exam on the man with flying colours, should it ever come up, he would have to leave this particular question blank. Or at least wing it.
Erling could turn on an agreeable puppy-dog front and all the interviewers loved him for it. Even if it was debatable that he always took their questions seriously, he was all smily and charming so that they never felt like he was mocking them. Faces saved all round.
His teammates were glad as well when Erling made the sacrifice and they could just get on with hugging, celebrating or recovery, leaving him to his interviews.
This time, however, excitement was still flowing through them and Jude found himself in the middle of Marco and Mats.
"Guys, we have to crash this thing! The questions are usually a lot of nonsense," Mats laughed.
"Yeah, let's do it!" Marco egged them on. "We can do bunny ears behind Erling's head?"
Mats giggled and grabbed Jude's hand.
"Come on, come with us!"
Briefly, Jude wondered who the mature, long-standing players were and who the supposed young, by dint of his age still slightly immature one, but their plotting was contagious.
If anyone had earned a bit of harmless fun, it was them.
He was between Marco and Mats now, both grabbing on to his arms and pulling him toward the little interview background where Erling presumably handled the interview in his usual no-nonsense way.
Jude had some momentum and Marco and Mats, the traitors, simultaneously let go of his arms. They didn't run anymore whereas Jude realized too late that he was the only one running, his feet still determined to carry him toward Erling.
In a split second, he decided he was going to prank Erling his way. If the two seniors found it funny to abandon him halfway between the edge of the field and a fun joke, he might as well choose for himself what he would do.
Bunny ears, sure. Very funny. Very original.
He ran toward Erling, who was focused on the question, the interviewer beaming at him.
In the back, Marco and Mats were snickering, happy that their mean plan had worked out. Jude was still propelling himself toward Erling, unable to snap out of the prank.
They saw in real time how Jude appeared on Erling's side, deciding for whatever reason to press a kiss to Erling's face, or was it only his neck, and speeding off.
"Those were not bunny ears," Marco sputtered.
"I knew they don't shy away from PDA but I didn't realise he has it in him to kiss Erling on live TV," Reus added.
They processed this information.
Is there a video somewhere? I need to know right now how the interviewer reacted!" Frantically, Marco and Mats got out their phones and opened Google.
"Trust the good people on Insta to always have our backs!" Mats had found a serious account that was certainly only interested in football that had shared a clip only minutes after the interview had been live.
It started as expected, Haaland talking about football, something about them scoring twice and Besiktas scoring once (astute observation, thought Mats), all serious face and concentrated look.
Then Jude appeared in the picture and unmistakably planted a kiss on Erling. Although he ran off instantly, Erling had to have seen him. It would have made sense and the two older players had their proof in the form of Erling smiling widely and being all happy after the kiss.
"Look at him. There's practically a sunrise on his face. Awww, young love." Marco said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. "Our little ones."
"Forget that, did the interviewer really follow up to this with "little kiss from Jude, how good was he tonight?"
They rewatched the video after the kiss, and sure enough he had.
"He doesn't know what will hit him. A Haaland with the chance to talk about Jude is an unstoppable force!"
Jude came up to them from behind.
"You traitors! After my beautiful goal as well," he complained.
"Well, did we enable your first public kiss on the big stage, or did we not? Also, your kiss made Erling launch into a speech about you, how wonderful you are, so we didn't do anything wrong."
"Interesting how you say you're sorry you betrayed me!"
Back at the hotel room, Jude was very, very good for Erling.