Chapter Text
Rain had settled over the cottage sometime that morning and hadn’t shown any intention of leaving.
It was unusual enough that even the lake had gone quiet, the steady sound of rain against the windows replacing the usual noise of summer outside.
Their friends had made plans to meet at the diner, but neither Ramona nor Oona had felt particularly inclined to leave the warmth of the cottage.
So they stayed.
They had been lying on Ramona’s bed for hours now, neither of them particularly interested in doing anything productive. Oona was curled against Ramona’s side, one of Ramona’s arms loosely wrapped around her while they whispered about absolutely nothing.
Every now and then, one of them would say something that made the other laugh, only to dissolve into another quiet conversation a few moments later.
Oona’s fingers absentmindedly traced little patterns along Ramona’s arm fascinated with the way goosebumps appeared at her touch. Ramona played with a strand of Oona’s hair, occasionally twisting it around her finger before letting it slip free again.
At some point, the conversation had faded almost completely.
Oona turned her head toward her, their faces only inches apart, so close their lips touched when talking.
Ramona smiled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
“I’m allowed to stare.”
“Debatable.”
Oona grinned and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Ramona’s mouth.
Ramona turned her head and caught her lips properly.
The kiss was slow and unhurried, the kind neither of them needed to think about anymore. The air was filled with soft breathing in between kisses. A quiet moan left the taller girls mouth when she felt a now familiar tongue tracing her lips.
When they pulled apart, Oona stayed close, her forehead resting lightly against Ramona’s, breathing heavily against each other.
Another kiss.
Then another.
The rain continued tapping softly against the window.
Ramona kisses her again, absentmindedly, almost distracted by how good it feels to finally have Oona this close. To feel her, so warm and soft against her own body. The whole situation feels so unreal that she forgets her own sense of reality for just a second.
“You have no idea how long I’ve thought about this happening,” she whispers into the air as Oona places hot wet kisses down her neck.
She can feel Oona pause immediately, slowly lifting her head to look at Ramona, a bright smile spreading across her face.
“Yeah?” she asks teasingly, placing soft pecks against Ramona’s lips. “How long?”
Ramona freezes for half a second as she realizes what she just said.
“Never mind!”
She groans and immediately buries her face against Oona’s neck, trying to hide the embarrassment.
“Just pretend I didn’t say anything.”
She starts placing kisses along Oona’s neck, breathing her in deeply and hoping that Oona is going to let it slide. It’s only been a few days since the night of their first kiss, and the last thing Ramona wants is to scare her off with deep and meaningful love confessions.
Oona lets her get away with it for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Ramona’s warm mouth against her skin. She lets one hand tangle in Ramona’s hair and slips the other beneath the blonde’s shirt, resting it against her back and pulling her a little closer.
“’Mona,” she half moans.
Ramona doesn’t look up.
“No.” She shakes her head against the other girl’s neck.
“How long, babe?”
“I’m not answering that.”
“You literally brought it up, though.”
“I was clearly experience a moment of temporary make out induced stupidity.”
Oona laughs softly. “Making out with me causes you to lose your mind. I mean I knew I’m good but that’s a whole other level of talent.”
Ramona groans again into her neck.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Oona grins knowingly, moving her fingers up and down Ramona’s back in soft caresses.
“You really don’t have to be embarrassed about anything with me. You know that, right?”
Ramona smiles faintly, still playing with a strand of Oona’s hair.
“I know.”
She hesitates for a moment, her fingers slowly winding the strand around them.
“Honestly? I think I’ve felt it ever since we first met. It was like a harmless little crush at first. And then, somewhere along the way, it just wasn’t as harmless anymore.”
Oona lets out a quiet breath.
She doesn’t say anything.
For a few minutes, neither of them does.
They simply lie there tangled together, close enough to feel each other’s breathing, both silently trying to process what Ramona has just admitted.
Eventually, Oona breaks the silence.
“I thought it was just me.”
Ramona lifts her head slightly, finally looking at her.
“What do you mean?”
Oona’s confidence falters.
For perhaps the first time that night, she seems genuinely unsure of herself.
“It means this hasn’t been a recent development for me either,” she admits quietly.
Ramona watches her, waiting. Her heart beating heavily against her chest at the thought of Oona having felt the same the whole time.
“You were always so… special to me. Right from the beginning. I just couldn’t always tell why, you know?”
She gives a small, almost embarrassed laugh.
“And, come on, babe. It wouldn’t exactly have been realistic for me to assume you’d ever be into me like that.”
Ramona stares at her.
“What?”
Oona looks away.
“Why?” Ramona’s brows draw together, genuinely confused.
“Why would you think that?”
Oona lets out a quiet laugh, but there’s no humor in it.
“I mean I’m not exactly good at letting people get too close. And I’m even worse at believing they’ll actually stay once I do. People leave, Ramona. Sometimes they mean to, sometimes they don’t, but somehow they always do. And after a while, you start wondering if maybe there’s something about you that makes staying too hard.”
She swallows, her eyes dropping to the space between them.
“So I got pretty good at not needing anyone to stay. Or at least pretending I didn’t.”
There’s a pause.
“And you…” She looks back at Ramona, her voice quieter now. “You’re the kind of person I could actually lose something to. I think that scared me more than I wanted to admit.”
Oona is still partly curled over her, one arm braced beside Ramona’s head.
Ramona reaches up and gently turns Oona’s face back toward her.
“You know what I think?”
Oona gives her a wary look.
“I think you have absolutely no idea how incredible you are.”
Oona opens her mouth, but Ramona doesn’t let her interrupt.
“You’re beautiful. And not just…” She gestures vaguely, almost frustrated that words aren’t enough to articulate what she wants to get across. “Obviously you’re beautiful. That’s not exactly new news.”
A reluctant smile flickers across Oona’s face.
“But you’re so fucking caring. You notice everything. You always know when one of us is having a bad day, even when we’re trying to hide it. You’re the person everyone calls when they need something, and somehow you always show up. You remember the little things. You worry about everyone.”
Her voice softens.
“You make people feel like they matter. You take such great care of Maple.“
Oona’s expression changes.
“And you do all of that while somehow convincing yourself that you’re the one person who isn’t worth staying for.”
She shakes her head. “That part? I don’t understand.”
“Oona, you are so unbelievably easy to love.”
The words come out quieter than everything before them.
“And you’re worth every bit of trouble. Every complicated part. Every messy, difficult, scared part of you.”
Ramona brushes her thumb gently along Oona’s cheek.
“I don’t want some easier version of you. I don’t want you to be less complicated. I just want you.”
For a moment, Oona doesn’t say anything.
Her eyes shine, and she tries to hide the emotion behind the smallest, crooked smile.
“You’re really bad at letting me have the last word, you know.”
Ramona smiles.
“Yeah. I know.”
Oona lets out a quiet laugh and leans into her touch.
For a moment, she simply stays there, letting Ramona’s words settle somewhere deep inside her.
Then, almost as if she needs to explain herself, she speaks again.
“So I think I always kind of downplayed my feelings to myself. The whole heavily flirting-with-every-girl-I-meet thing…” Oona gives a small, self-conscious shrug. “It was easier that way. Until the night of the party and the whole Stacey Mallory jealousy situation.”
Ramona groans and gives Oona’s hair a playful tug.
“Don’t remind me of that.”
“Yeah, no.” Oona smiles. “Once I realized you might actually feel the same way, I was literally buzzing the rest of the night. I don‘t think I slept a single minute.”
“Soo…“ Ramona started hesitantly „you didn’t go home with her?” She’s not sure why she’s still insecure about the beautiful camp counselor. Not when she’s the one lying here making out for hours on end with the girl she has wanted for years. But somehow the thought hadn’t left her mind in the last few days. Did Oona actually sleep with the other girl after their almost kiss? It really wouldn’t change anything about her feelings for her best friend, really. But it would be nice to know if Oona too, has been as affected by their moment as she had been.
Oona let’s out a small teasing laugh: “There’s that jealousy again. But no, Ramona. I could never do that, not after the way my heart was literally beating out of my chest for you.“
Before Ramona can respond, Oona shifts closer, gently rolling until she is above Ramona. She brushes a few strands of hair away from Ramona’s face, her expression softening as she looks into her eyes.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would have felt like to actually be kissing you. I still can’t think about anything else,” she admits quietly. “Especially not right now. Not with you looking at me like this.”
Then she leans down and kisses her.
The kiss is deeper this time, carrying all the things neither of them had known how to say before. When Oona finally pulls back, Ramona follows instinctively, letting out a quiet, frustrated sound at the sudden distance.
“Oona.”
She reaches for her, pulling her back into another kiss, holding her close as though she has finally stopped herself from wondering whether this is something she is allowed to want.
For once, neither of them has to wonder.