Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The agency’s morning had been pretty normal to start with, everybody was enjoying the peace and quiet and overall it was a great start to the day. That is until the sentence was said. The one dreadful phrase that started it all.
“Hey guys i rented this cabin near Mount Haku!”
The voice came out of nowhere and at first nobody was sure who actually said it. In the end it turned out to be Dazai, which everybody was not surprised by. They all looked around before all eyes landed on Dazai, his bright smile could light up an entire system of caves.
“So! Who’s all going to join in? We could all use a break! The port mafia seems to have taken one, the time of winter is upon us! Let us cerebra-“ Dazai was cut off by an abrupt “No” coming from the voice of Kunikida. A series of whines came out of Dazai’s mouth and ‘but why’s~’ followed.
“What if something happens and were away? What if the port mafia catches wind of our ‘vacation’ and decides to wreck havoc?” Kunikida questioned. Dazai made a bored expression.
“Then we’ll invite them too! It’ll be great! Two organizations coming together for one trip! Bonding ensues, fun and friendly interactions will take place!” Dazai’s smile grew and his eyes sparkled. Kunikida looked at Dazai like he was an absolutely insane man who needed to be locked away. Yosano tried to stifle a laugh, Ranpo looked like he was about to agree with Dazai which is not good. The last one in the room Atsushi just shrank down trying to make himself invincible in the overall situation.
“ARE YOU MENTALLY ILL?” Kunikida finally broke, here we go.
“Hm? I don’t understand? I feel like this would be great! For all!” Dazai mused intertwining both his hands in hopeful joy.
“And how exactly would we get the port mafia to agree to such a- uhm, trip so to speak” Yonaso asked. Dazai smiled at her question, as if he knew he’d somehow get all parties to agree to this and shrugged. Kunikida just about slapped Dazai then and there.
“Are you people seriously considering this idea? Any of you? Really! Can we all just agree that Dazai is being immoral and get back to work!” Kunikida yelled.
“What are we agreeing on?” A new voice asked, full of question. All turned their heads to see Yukichi Fukuzawa walking in looking confused.
“I just proposed a wonderful idea!” Dazai chided.
“It’s a horrible idea and no one agrees with it! Right?” Kunikida asked looking around looking at the faces of his fellow staff to agree with his claim. The rest of the members just looked away, avoiding eye contact.
“What was this idea that Dazai has proposed?” Fukuzawa asked looking around at everyone’s faces before landing on Dazai’s smug face.
“Well President! My wonderful idea was we take a vacation to Mount Haku! I rented a cabin for short while so we could venture up there and have fun!” Dazai’s sweet smile finished off his sentence.
“OH! But what about your absolutely brilliant plan with the port mafia Dazai? Did you forget about that part of the plan?” Kunikida exclaimed.
“Of course i wouldn’t forget about that Dear Kunikida! I was about to tell our esteemed president about how we plan to make sure the port mafia doesn't do anything erratic in our absence! We invite them along!” Dazai tiled his head to the side. Fukuzawa blinked for a few seconds as if what Dazai just said was truly real. In the end, it was. Dazai just stared at him waiting for the conformation of his ‘oh so brilliant plan’.
“What” was all Fukuzawa could muster up.
“I believe this could be a great experience for everyone!” Dazai persisted. Fukuzawa looked deep in thought for a couple of seconds before sighing.
“Don’t do anything mildly idiotic and stupid. Im staying here though” Fukuzawa announced. Everyone in the room was completely taken back by what was just said. Even Dazai himself looked even a tiny bit surprised.
“REALLY?” Dazai exploded with excitement, eyes sparkling brighter than the world’s biggest diamond. Kunikida looked around in disbelief as Fukuzawa exited the room. As for Yosano and Ranpo those two just looked at each other and shrugged both deciding that maybe this would be fun, maybe not, but maybe fun! Atsushi had not succeeded in making himself blend into the couch he was sitting on because Dazai had grabbed his wrist and told him
“We must inform the rest of the agency!” And dragged him away. Atsushi was not pleased that he was the victim of Dazai’s choosing to go along with him to tell the others of their ‘grand plan scheme’. Dazai on the other hand was planning something more that no one else knew of, he knew something about that specific mountain that no one else knew. As a result of going there to check it out a long time ago.
“Let us go find Tanizaki, Naomi, Kenji!” Dazai continued, and along they went Atsushi looking like one of the most uncomfortable people in the entire world at the moment. Along the way they bumped into Kyouka, who’d been eating some assortment of candy.
“H-hello Kyouka. How are you doing?” Atsushi asked while both him and Dazai had stopped both looking at Kyouka.
“I’m doing ok Atsushi-kun. What are you and Dazai-san doing?” She had answered then asked. Looking at them both in turn, Dazai smiled.
“We’re going to tell the others about our magnificent vacation!” Dazai let out.
“You can come along too so we can explain all at once!” Dazai smile grew even
wider, as he then grabbed Kyouka’s hand and dragged her along with Atsushi. Kyouka looked to Atsushi for guidance on the situation but none was there. Dazai had practically slammed into the room, where everybody's faces jumped up in surprise.
“Hello friends and fans, i’m here to tell you about a magnificent plan!” Dazai bursted out with complete and utter excitement
“Um- whaaa?” Was all that Naomi could muster as she took a look at the scene going on in front of her, seated next to Naomi was Haruno who looked just as confused.
“I had a grand idea! And the president has just informed ME that it’s perfectly fine to pursue this great and marvelous idea! So i’ve come to announce it all to you!” Dazai proclaimed.
“So what is the great and marvelous idea?” Kenji questioned smiling at Dazai.
“Well dear little Kenji we are going on a vacation! Up in the mountains, with other guests as well!” Dazai announced happily. Everyone in the room looked at each other then at Dazai.
“And who are these others Dazai?” Tanizaki questioned.
“The port mafia.” Dazai stated like anyone and their cat had said it a million timed. Even though in fact nobody would ever dream of saying the two phrases ‘were going on vacation’ ‘with the port mafia’ together in one sentence.
“Ehhhhhhhh? The port mafia?” Kenji remarked looking as surprised as everyone else.
“Yes! We’re both on somewhat good terms and i believe that this will further the good terms we have with each other.” Dazai finished looking around the room.
“Does anyone have any questions? We’ll be leaving tomorrow at 5:30 a.m” Dazai said in full seriousness.
“Dazai you didn’t tell the others about the fact we’re lea-” Atsushi was quickly cut off as questions in the room arised.
“So what are we supposed to bring? Is it going to be cold or hot?” Naomi asked.
“It’s going to be freezing so i suggest you bring jackets but that’s all up to you!” Dazai finished walking out.
“Where the hell are we even going?” Tanizaki turned to Naomi as Dazai had completely exited. Naomi shrugged and looked at the open space that Dazai had left.
“This should be mildly interesting” Kenji thought aloud. All in all Dazai had continued to drag Atsushi along with him along with Kyouka.
“This is confusing. I don’t understand why the port mafia would agree to this?” Kyouka questioned moving along with Dazai quickly. Dazai’s eyes narrowed and grew dark and his smile grew.
“I’ll find a way” Dazai suddenly stopped and let go of both of their wrists. Handing Atsushi a wad of cash before leaving and saying
“Go buy you and Kyouka some winter clothes! It’s going to be freezing!” Before completely going out of sight. Kyouka and Atsushi looked at the money in his hands and then at each other. Both head out a little later that day when Kunikida was screaming at Dazai for ‘not telling them the whole plan’. Atsushi and Kyouka had asked Yosano along to shop with them, as she knew more about clothing then either of them did. She was, of course she was, and happily came along.
“What store are we going to uh- Yosano-san?” Atsushi asked walking along with her and Kyouka.
“A sporting clothes store. They have plenty of winter items and equipment all year.” She stated, as if proud of her knowledge of winter apparel. They all continued to walk along, following Yosano to the store of apparent winter clothes.
“Ah~ here we are.” Yosano smiled proudly, opening her arms wide as if the store would hug her.
“Now let’s go and get some coats and gloves.” Yosano proudly strutted into the store like she owned it. Kyouka looked up at Atsushi and smiled, following suit of Yosano. Atsushi followed in last. Now Atsushi would like to think that that sequence of things never happened because the shopping was actually dreadful. He liked to think that maybe Kyouka though it was nice, which would’ve made him a bit happier. Alas she was about as unhappy as he was.
When they’d finally all gotten all of their amazing apparel, they filed out of the store all carrying a respective amount of bags.
“Now let’s head back to the agency, hopefully Kunikida won’t still be yelling at Dazai” Yosano giggled at the thought of Kunikida still yelling at Dazai after 3 hours. Wait a second. THREE HOURS. The had been out in hell with Yosano for THREE HOURS . Atsushi was about to faint in all honesty, as was Kyouka. They looked the part too. As soon as they got to the agency they dropped their bags in their respective rooms and just collapsed. I mean all in good favor because they’d all be leaving at the earliest time that could have possibly been conjured up.
To the surprise of everyone, if they’d been awake, the rest of the agency was almost all asleep as well. Aside from the few still figuring out what to put in their bags, and Kunikida still thinking of a millions of things wrong with how this was all playing