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Remus was so close to throwing up it wasn’t even funny. He hadn’t been able to bind his chest flat after the ace bandages had dug into his skin. He had tried to heal it with magic but it had only made it worse.
Now he was sitting in class with his shoulders slumped, disgustingly aware of every little moment of his chest. He gagged and hid it as a cough. Professor Slughorn glanced at him but continued his never ending speech about… something. How could Remus focus in circumstances like this? The other Marauders were laughing together, why to hell was everything so easy for them? Remus would have joined the conversation but he had started to avoid talking lately, since most of the third year boys already had deep voices and he didn’t. He missed first year when everyone looked and sounded the same.
“Mr. Lupin, can you tell me why miscalculating any ingredient in this potion will make it work in the exact opposite way from the way we want it to work?” Slughorn asked him suddenly. He must have looked like he wasn’t paying attention (because he wasn’t).
“Uhm…” He honestly had no idea. “I don’t know”
Slughorn clapped his hands together and launched into another lecture. A few boys in the back of the class snickered at Remus. He placed his head in his hands. His breathing was beginning to quicken.
Remus hated being transsexual so much, he had read about it in a muggle book at 10 and then everything just made sense. Then at Hogwarts he was a boy, it worked at first but then as time went by every one of his friends just looked more like a man and he was looking more like a girl everyday. His friends understood him, after some explaining of course but the rest of the school had been looking at him weird for some time.
He was trying to find a spell, a potion, anything to help him in the slightest. You could kill someone with the flick of a wooden stick, why the hell would you not be able to change someone's sex?
He tied the ace bandages back and let it sting.