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The day was a spiritful wisp, the wind a gentle kiss to skin.
It was a bright sunny day. So, like any person, people would want to go out and make good use of today. Have some fun instead of dwelling on misery.
Maiko and her mom are greeted by the familiar sight of the playground near the shrine. Maiko has been noticeably happier lately… without the constant bickering between her parents and living a new life. As bleak and dull the world would usually be, Maiko, being the strong little girl she is, sees the colours in grey.
Walking into the area, her mother's heels clicked their way to the bench. Happily, Maiko tosses her red bag onto the green seat. It's been a while since they both went out together like this. It's odd, really. It's been a week... or two.
Which to Maiko, is an eternity away from this playground.
She began to sort through the small maze of bamboo in the jungle gym. Despite coming here so many times a week in the past, she still manages to struggle finding her way around.
But the one person she wanted to see most was the high school girl that kept her company. The same girl that listened to her problems, the same girl that would help her find her way through the loud hive of thoughts.
Without her, what would Maiko's life be like? Without her guidance?
Does she still remember Maiko? Did she keep the beaded ring?
As much as she loved her mom and dad, she loved Kotone just as much, or maybe more. She was family after all. The big sister she never had. Big sisters don't leave, right?
No, they never do. They stay in your heart forever.
Thinking of Kotone again makes her feel… trapped. Not trapped within the confines of the jungle gym, but trapped within her own thoughts. Her mind miles away from an unknown destination. Her heart pounds a distant ache to how the playground is warm with memory.
Kotone, Akinari… Whatever happened to them?
Maybe they both moved away together. Not to leave little Maiko alone, but to continue their own lives. How are they now?
No matter how far the distance grows, she will buy an airplane ticket to see both of them. She will work hard when she grows up, and they will see how big this little girl has become! Telling them all about her new life with mommy, her new friends at school… hell, she can maybe even write them letters like she does with dad!
While Maiko traverses the small world of wannabe sticks of bamboo, Mrs Oohashi seems to spot a man- a man draped in sleaze and classism. A guy like that is a sore spot at a place like a shrine...
Wait a minute… he looks familiar. Has she seen him on TV? She doesn't have time to check it out as for her busy schedule…
He sells stuff doesn't he? She thinks to herself.
Tanaka? Yes, President Tanaka. She would see him occasionally on a screen. She would hear the buzz about Tanaka at work from time to time. Maybe her little Maiko would know of him?
The man approaches the shrine, fumbling for the wallet in his back pocket. Is he about to draw a fortune? Him…? Who knew that a guy like him bears the thought of someone that isn't himself...
He mutters a silent prayer, then reads his fortune. His brow furrowed, scoffing as he shoves the fortune in his pocket.
Mrs Oohashi approaches Tanaka. “Pardon me.”
Tanaka turns his head, then adjusts his body fully to face her. “May I help you?”
She smiles. “What are you here for?”
His eyebrows raise, clearly not expecting an enquiry about today's pastime. His eyes drift to the side, then back to the woman's face. “I was making a fortune for someone.”
“Oh, I see. Well, we have someone to make a wish for, right?”
Tanaka's eyes narrow with skepticism. Mrs Oohashi's gaze was fixed on Maiko, who was now having a go down the slides.
She chuckles, taking her seat on the bench as Tanaka's shadow looms. He finds himself captured by the sight of the girl having fun. How he wished to have been so carefree in his childhood.
"It's a nice day today, so I thought of taking her out. It's been a while since we came here.” She pats the empty spot beside her. “Would you like to sit?”
Tanaka could be going to do something else right now– re-evaluating budgets, finding new people to recruit… he’s a busy man.
But there is something that makes him want to stay.
There's something about the little girl on the playground that makes his heart ache. It's a distant feeling, but not a good one. It's the kind that makes your heart heavy.
Even at Tanaka's caliber, he knows that he is a bit... much at times. But week after week, there was this one person that made time for him. He didn't deserve her time, he'd tell himself. She was too sweet for the world she was in, the result of a world made by guys like him.
And somehow, that girl on the playground made him think of her. Why?
It makes him wonder.
I shouldn't have said goodbye so easily.
Tanaka nods, “Sure, I won't be here for long though.”
He takes a step toward the bench, taking his respective spot next to Mrs Oohashi. To her right is Maiko's big red bag. And now, to her left is the renowned TV president of a home shopping show. It's almost surreal.
“My Maiko is special to me, like any daughter to a mother.” She starts. Tanaka's face was passive, but listening with care.
“We had… many problems back at home." A muscle in her jaw jumps at the mention. "She tried to run away. I was so mad at first, but… I understand why she would.” She shakes her head. “No child should come home from school to hear their parents yell again. Maybe that's why she liked that girl so much.”
Tanaka cocks his head. “What girl?”
“Oh, there was this high schooler she really liked. Ah... what's her name..." yes! Kotone Shiomi. Whenever I read her letters before sending them to her dad… She comes up a lot. Sweet girl, from what I've been told.”
Kotone, huh? Tanaka knew that name well.
She clears her throat. “Maiko loves that takoyaki stand, you know? We would go there a lot before… before the fighting.”
Her voice dulls to a fault towards the end. Tanaka was in no place to judge, though. Even before living the lifestyle of the rich and famous as he’d dreamed, family was a broken picture.
He worked hard for his mother, swore from when he was building his business from the ground up, he would be able to care for her in her old age. Give her the things that she was never able to have, and failed to give him as a child.
Not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't.
He knew she loved him. Tanaka knew his mother loved him to the ends of the earth. She tried her hardest, and now Tanaka works even harder for her. Not out of obligation, but out of love.
He purses his lip. “But you’re trying your hardest, aren't you?”
“Of course I am. Her dad loves her plenty, we both do. But if we are together… everything goes back to fighting. We… don't want to hurt Maiko again. Not like that.”
Tanaka nods. Family conflict is something he knew all too well.
“I understand.” Tanaka glances down to his hands lying in his lap. “I knew that girl Kotone.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Can you tell me what she was like? I… even after meeting her, she was gone before I could say my thanks.”
Tanaka's lips quirk up sadly. It's almost like a phantom hand is holding his throat, tightening it in its grip.
“She was naive, but she was keen. I'm surprised she would even give up her evenings to learn from me.”
“And what did you teach her?”
"Just things about business. Can't tell you more than that.”
“Ah? A secret?” She chuckles. “Alright, I'll respect it.”
Tanaka crosses a leg over his knee, staring down the concrete as he recollects the memory.
“I learned a bit from her, actually. At a point where I thought I was beyond change, she taught me kindness."
He looks up to Mrs Oohashi again.
"I can't explain it, but something about her… I felt like I could talk to her about anything. I heard word go around her, presumably from her school friends that occasionally come to the mall. She seemed like an admirable person. She's what I was never able to be.”
He drawls a sad sigh, caught on the cusp between the drift of memories and reality.
“I drew that fortune for her.” He says quietly.
“What came of it?”
“Bad luck."
Mrs Oohashi bites her lip.
“...I see.”
Was something wrong with what he said? Her biting her lip and turning away does little to quell the unnamed worries.
Tanaka furrows his brow. “Did I say something?”
She sneaks a glance to Maiko, then adjusts her vision back to Tanaka. This time, unfocused.
“I came here because I saw the news… H…have you heard?”
Tanaka tilts his head. “Pardon?”
“A girl at Gekkoukan High.”
Why does that sound familiar?
Gekkoukan High…
Wasn't that the uniform that Kotone wore? Where is she going with this?
“She died on the rooftop... Kotone died on the rooftop..." She tightens her grip on her own hand. "I'm here because I just- I don't know how to tell Maiko. I don't want to. How do I tell her that her big sis passed away?” She takes a deep breath, making sure that Maiko wasn't looking. “I… I should keep my voice down.”
Tanaka blinks, finding his eyes to be rheumy with tears. Unable to speak. This has to be some sick joke.
“What?”
“I… I assume you knew her just as well as Maiko knew her. I'm sorry to tell it to you this way. I'm scared to tell her.”
He shakes his head. "Then why don't you?"
"HOW can I tell her!?" She cried, her breathing rapid. Maiko perked over, but her mom dismissed her with a tight smile and wave. Maiko went back to climbing the ladder.
She relieves her lungs of a breath she didn't know she was holding, turning back to Tanaka. "I saw it on the news, and Maiko came into the room. I was never quick to usher her out of the room like that…” She sighs. “I don't want to imagine her tears. Not again.”
Tanaka bit back a sob, but his shoulders shook. He can't hide it. Averting his attention to the loose thread in his pants, looking away. But he manages to utter a small deal of words, so quietly that she barely heard it.
“I'm sorry.” He murmurs, keeping his voice small. He doesn't have to say what he feels, because she can already see it.
And honestly, she might feel the same. Deep inside her mind, the thought of mourning was a victim of her oppression.
Despite not being close to Kotone, she knew how close she was to Maiko. Her daughter describing Kotone as “big sis” was adorable. Was.
Not a sister by blood, but by soul. Or maybe, to a child, maybe they are blood sisters. She wouldn't know. Surviving through life is torture as it is. Her lack of time for others closed her off to these feelings. Even after meeting her husband, the void in her heart yawned. Is she a coward to not get attached to everyone? Whatever happened to making bonds you truly cherish?
Her ex husband is… there, at best. Maiko writes letters, and he would occasionally call her up. But what meaning is there? The only thing that bonds them is their love for their daughter.
Her daughter.
What did friends do for you in the long run? They make you happy… They give you memories for you to look back on and smile about. But what is there to think when they are gone? The memories and relationships you once built… gone. You can't talk to them one more time about how happy remembering a funny memory of that person felt. And if you were to do so, you would be talking to a casket.
Not your friend. A body in a casket is not your friend, but was.
Everything will suddenly feel hollow. A dull concave of emotions to a presence no longer.
What good will this do for anyone? A hollow cavern for a heart. A memory that's a husk of what it used to be. Instead of laughing, your heart beats down to a pitiful pace.
Is she a coward for not wanting to feel grief? Grief never grows smaller, you just grow around it. Your heart is a gallery of the people you held close. You can't erase history.
Grief is just love with nowhere to go, because the vessel of devotion is gone. A result of her own cowardice and reluctance to feel.
Was this why she kept her own daughter away for so long?
Her lips quiver, voice shaking. “Was it worth being happy if it ends up being sad in the end? Or would it be better if it never happened? Tell me that. Because why am I being hurt too?"
A young voice calls out. She and Tanaka both turn their heads to see a little Maiko running towards them.
“MOOOOOM!! I'm done! Can we go eat takoya- oh… hello mister!”
Tanaka sputters, gulping. “Hello.”
“Maiko! We were just talking about… your friend Kotone.” Her voice trails off.
“Oh!" She beams at the mention, but then her face falls.
"Oh…”
...
"I miss big sis."
“What? I know you do, sweetheart- uh... It's a beautiful day, and mommy wanted to go out and spend time with her little Maiko."
"Errr… okay." She points a tiny finger to Tanaka. "Is he coming with us?”
Maiko stares at Tanaka…
Mrs Oohashi peers from her eyelashes. “If you’d like to join, we don't mind.”
He taps a thoughtful finger to his chin. "Hmmm..."
He could go back to his company… do his business stuff and all...
There's no harm in dumping your work onto your employees for the 5th time this month.
“I guess I won't mind.”
“Ohh!” She stares doe eyed. "That's nice! Let's go get takoyaki. Are you going to be my new dad?”
“Now don't get ahead of yourself…”