Chapter Text
The music room had two kinds of silence.
There was the silence before someone played, when everyone seemed to hold their breath at once.
And there was the silence after, when nobody had decided yet whether they were allowed to breathe again.
Riku had learned to appreciate the second kind.
It usually meant an audition had gone well.
“Do you think we're supposed to put the names in alphabetical order?”
Sakuya's question pulled Riku away from the piano.
Riku looked over his shoulder.
Sakuya was standing behind the long table near the windows surrounded by registration forms and enough loose sheets of paper to suggest that the music club had somehow been organizing itself without a system for the past fifty years.
“They're already in alphabetical order.”
Sakuya looked down at the pile in his hands.
He frowned.
“They are?”
“You did it yesterday.”
“I don't remember.”
“You complained about doing it.”
Sakuya looked mildly offended by the accusation.
“I complain about many things.”
“That doesn't make them less true.”
From the other side of the room, Jaehee laughed.
He was kneeling beside a stack of folding chairs trying to unfold one that had apparently decided it would rather remain closed.
“Can you two stop arguing about paper and help me with this?”
Riku turned back toward the piano.
“No.”
Jaehee looked at him.
“I'm your friend.”
“That's unfortunate.”
“You're horrible.”
“You've known that for months.”
“Only months?”
Sakuya's mouth curved slightly.
Jaehee pointed at him.
“Don't encourage him.”
“I didn't.”
“You smiled.”
Sakuya returned to the forms.
Riku smiled to himself and looked down at the sheet music resting across the piano.
It was the final piece for the morning auditions.
He had been playing accompaniment for most of them since the first applicant arrived.
It wasn't glamorous, but Riku didn't mind.
He liked being useful.
Besides he knew what audition rooms did to people.
When he first joined the university music club, he had spent the entire morning convincing himself that his hands weren't shaking.
Now he was on the other side of the room.
He knew where everyone sat.
He knew which piano key stuck slightly when the weather was humid.
He knew the third-floor air conditioner made a strange clicking sound every few minutes.
He knew Jaehee would complain about being hungry before eleven.
And he knew Sakuya would quietly fix whatever Jaehee forgot.
Riku checked the audition schedule on his phone anyway. He had already checked it once, but for a second he could not remember when. He shrugged and locked the screen. When he reached into his bag for his spare keys, he looked in the front pocket before finding them in the side pocket. He laughed quietly at himself and blamed the morning.
Nothing unexpected ever happened in the music room.
At least that was what Riku thought.
The door opened.
He barely looked up.
Another applicant stepped inside with two friends behind him.
Riku kept one hand resting on the keys while he glanced at the audition form.
He was about to ask which piece they had prepared when he heard someone say, “Yushi, don't forget your sheet music.”
Riku's fingers stopped.
He looked up.
The boy standing near the doorway was holding a black violin case.
For one second, Riku didn't understand why his heart had suddenly begun beating so hard.
Then the boy turned his head.
Riku knew him.
He knew him.
The face was older. Of course it was.
The hair was different.
The lines of his face had changed just enough to prove the years had actually happened.
But there was no mistaking him.
Yushi.
Riku forgot about the piano.
Forgot about the applicants.
Forgot about the room.
For a moment, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.
Yushi looked around the room.
His eyes passed over Riku.
They did not stop.
He turned toward the registration table instead.
Riku stared at him.
Nothing.
No sudden change in expression.
Yushi looked at him exactly the way he might look at any other member of the club.
A stranger.
Riku swallowed.
“Riku.”
Sakuya's voice was quieter this time.
Riku looked over.
Sakuya had noticed.
Of course he had.
He held up the audition sheet.
“This one's yours.”
Riku took it.
His eyes dropped to the page.
The name was already there.
Yushi.
He didn't need to read anything else.
He knew.
“Thanks,” Riku said.
Sakuya didn't move.
“You okay?”
Riku looked at him.
“Yeah.”
Sakuya studied his face for another second before nodding.
He didn't believe him.
Riku didn't blame him.
Across the room, Yushi was talking to Jaehee.
“Name?”
“Yushi.”
“Full name?”
Tokuno Yushi.
Jaehee wrote it down, then glanced at the instrument case.
“Violin?”
“Yeah.”
“Any previous experience?”
Yushi smiled, almost apologetically.
“School orchestra.”
Jaehee nodded.
“That's enough.”
He pointed toward the empty space beside the piano.
“You can set up there.”
“Okay.”
Yushi crossed the room.
Riku looked back down at the sheet music.
His hands were cold.
He flexed his fingers once beneath the edge of the piano.
He knew this feeling.
He hadn't seen Yushi in years.
Yushi opened his violin case.
Riku watched without meaning to.
The way he loosened the bow.
The way he checked the strings.
The way he carefully adjusted the shoulder rest.
Then Yushi rubbed his thumb against the side of his index finger.
Riku's chest tightened.
He remembered that.
He remembered all of it.
Yushi did that whenever he was nervous.
He used to do it before school performances.
Riku used to tease him about it.
“Ready?”
Yushi was looking at him.
Riku looked back.
For a second, he wondered whether he had imagined the years between them.
Maybe this was just another rehearsal.
Maybe Yushi had walked into the room late.
Maybe after the audition they'd go get something to eat.
Maybe Riku would complain about the restaurant and Yushi would insist on ordering something he hated.
The thought vanished as quickly as it appeared.
“Yeah,” Riku said.
Yushi nodded.
He raised his violin.
The room quieted.
Riku placed his fingers over the keys.
Yushi took a breath.
Then he began.
The first notes were careful.
Not perfect, but controlled.
Riku followed.
For the first few bars, he concentrated on the sheet music.
Then he stopped looking at it.
He didn't need to.
Yushi had always played with little changes that weren't written down.
A fraction longer here.
A softer entrance there.
Riku remembered all of them.
His fingers followed without hesitation.
Yushi slowed.
Riku slowed.
Yushi leaned into the next phrase.
Riku met him there.
It was strange.
They hadn't played together in years.
They hadn't even spoken properly.
Yet there was no need to negotiate the music.
No need for a glance or a signal.
Riku simply knew.
Halfway through the piece, Yushi looked up.
Their eyes met.
Something flickered across Yushi's face.
Riku looked away before he could understand it.
The piece continued.
And for a few minutes, the years between them disappeared.
When they reached the final phrase, Yushi slowed.
Riku went with him.
The last note faded.
Silence filled the room.
Nobody moved.
Then Jaehee let out a quiet breath.
“Wow.”
Yushi lowered his violin.
He looked a little embarrassed.
“Was that okay?”
Sakuya glanced at the audition sheet.
“That was more than okay.”
Jaehee looked at Riku.
“You two have played together before.”
Riku looked at Yushi.
Yushi looked back.
“No,” Yushi said.
Riku answered at almost the same time.
“No.”
Jaehee frowned.
“You looked like you had rehearsed that for months.”
Riku forced a small smile.
“We're just good at following each other.”
Yushi laughed softly.
“Apparently.”
Riku looked down at the keys.
That laugh hadn't changed much.
That was probably the worst part.
Yushi packed away his violin after the rest of the audition.
Riku stayed at the piano until everyone else had left the room.
He didn't know what he was waiting for.
Eventually, Yushi approached him.
“Hey.”
Riku looked up.
“Hey.”
Yushi stood a few feet away, his violin case hanging by his side.
“Thanks for playing with me.”
“No problem.”
There was a pause.
There used to be no empty spaces between them.
Now there were too many.
Yushi glanced toward the door.
“I think that went well.”
“It did.”
“Good.”
Another silence.
Riku wanted to ask him a hundred questions.
Where have you been?
How are you?
Why didn't you call?
Did you ever think about me?
Instead, he said:
“Your playing's good.”
Yushi smiled.
“Thanks.”
Riku nodded.
Yushi started to leave.
Then he stopped.
He turned back.
“Have we met before?”
Riku's breath caught.
The question was asked casually.
Riku stared at him for a moment.
Then he looked toward the window.
“You don't remember?”
Yushi's brows pulled together.
“I feel like I should.”
Riku looked back at him.
There was no point pretending.
“Maybe you do.”
Yushi studied his face.
Before either of them could say anything else, Jaehee called from across the room.
“Yushi! Results will be posted Friday!”
Yushi turned toward him.
“Okay. Thanks.”
He looked back at Riku.
“See you.”
Riku nodded.
“Yeah.”
Yushi walked out.
Riku remained where he was.
Sakuya was standing near the table, watching him.
He waited until the door shut.
Then he asked quietly,
“You know him?”
Riku stared at the empty doorway.
“I used to.”
Sakuya's expression changed slightly.
“Used to?”
Riku nodded.
Jaehee looked between them.
He seemed to realize that there was a question he probably shouldn't ask.
So, unusually, he didn't.
Sakuya gathered the remaining audition sheets.
“Let's finish these.”
Riku nodded.
He sat back down at the piano.
But the room didn't feel the same anymore.
Outside, Yushi found Sion and Ryo waiting near the stairs.
Sion looked up when he saw him.
“You took forever.”
Yushi adjusted the strap of his violin case.
“It wasn't that long.”
Ryo held out a bottle of water.
“How was it?”
Yushi took it.
“Good.”
“Did you get nervous?”
“No.”
Sion stared at him.
“You always get nervous.”
Yushi smiled.
“I wasn't that nervous.”
“You were doing the thing with your hand.”
Yushi looked down.
He had been rubbing his thumb against his finger again.
He stopped.
“You noticed?”
“Obviously.”
Ryo looked toward the music room.
“The pianist was good.”
Yushi's eyes followed his.
The door was closed now.
“Yeah.”
Sion glanced at him.
“You know him?”
Yushi looked away.
For some reason, he found the question harder to answer than it should have been.
He could still hear the piano.
Could still remember the way the pianist had looked at him.
And there was something about those eyes that had bothered him ever since he walked into the room.
“I think so.”
Sion frowned.
“You think so?”
Yushi tightened his grip around the water bottle.
“Someone I haven't seen in a long time.”
Ryo studied him.
“An old friend?”
Yushi didn't answer immediately.
Then he smiled faintly.
“Something like that.”
Sion opened his mouth, but Ryo shook his head slightly.
Don't push.
Sion understood.
They started walking.
Yushi followed a few steps behind.
Before they reached the end of the corridor, he looked back once.
The music room door was still closed.
He didn't know why he was looking.
The results were posted two days later.
Yushi had made it.
He stood in front of the noticeboard with his hands in his pockets while Sion read the list above his shoulder.
“First violin.”
Yushi nodded.
“I see it.”
“You should be happy.”
“I am.”
“You don't look happy.”
Yushi smiled.
“I'm just tired.”
Ryo looked over the list.
“You made it.”
“Yeah.”
There was something relieving about seeing his name there.
It meant he had somewhere to be now.
A reason to stay on campus after classes.
A reason to spend more time in the music building.
And, whether he wanted to admit it or not, another reason he might see Riku again.
He didn't have to wait long.
“Congratulations.”
Yushi turned.
Riku stood behind him.
His bag was hanging over one shoulder, and a folder was tucked beneath his arm.
Yushi smiled.
“Thanks.”
“I knew you'd make it.”
“You sound very confident.”
“You were good.”
“You already told me that.”
Riku smiled.
“I still mean it.”
Yushi looked at him.
There was something odd about the way Riku looked back.
Not uncomfortable.
Just familiar.
The kind of familiar that made Yushi feel as though there was a word sitting somewhere just outside his reach.
“You're in the club too?”
Riku nodded.
“Yeah.”
“What do you play?”
“Piano.”
Yushi laughed softly.
“Of course.”
Riku raised an eyebrow.
“What does that mean?”
“I don't know.”
Yushi shook his head.
“Nothing.”
Riku smiled.
There was a brief silence.
Then Yushi realized something.
“We never properly introduced ourselves.”
Riku looked at him.
“No.”
“I'm Yushi.”
Riku's expression changed.
Just a little.
“Riku.”
Yushi repeated his name quietly.
“Riku.”
Something about it felt strangely familiar.
Not enough to understand.
But enough to make him pause.
Riku noticed.
“You okay?”
Yushi blinked.
“Yeah.”
He smiled.
“Nice to meet you.”
Riku looked almost amused.
“After the audition?”
“I guess.”
Before they could say anything else, Sion called his name from down the hall.
“Yushi.”
Yushi glanced over.
“We're going.”
“Right.”
He looked back at Riku.
“I'll see you around.”
Riku nodded.
“Yeah.”
Yushi walked away.
Riku watched him disappear around the corner.
Sakuya came up beside him a moment later.
“You didn't tell me his name.”
Riku looked at him.
“Yushi.”
“I know that.”
Sakuya waited.
Riku understood.
“He was my best friend.”
Sakuya didn't answer immediately.
“Was?”
Riku looked down.
“I don't know.”
It turned out that not knowing was temporary.
The university had apparently decided that three shared classes were not enough of an inconvenience.
They were in the same year of the university's music program, which probably explained some of it.
They also ended up assigned to the same music theory section.
The first time Yushi realized it, he sat down beside Riku without asking.
Riku looked over.
“You again.”
Yushi placed his notebook on the desk.
“Disappointed?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Yushi took out a pen.
“You have this class too?”
“Apparently.”
“And statistics after lunch.”
Riku nodded.
“And the club later.”
Yushi laughed quietly.
“That's a lot.”
“We can avoid each other.”
“You could.”
Riku looked at him.
“You won't.”
Yushi smiled.
“No.”
Something inside Riku loosened.
They sat together through the lecture.
It was easy.
Too easy.
Yushi still leaned closer when he couldn't read something on the board.
Riku still covered his notes when Yushi tried to copy them.
Yushi still complained when Riku wouldn't let him.
None of it should have felt familiar.
It did.
A week turned into two.
Their friendship returned in pieces.
Not all at once.
They started with lunch.
Then walking to class.
Then staying late after club rehearsals.
The conversations grew longer.
Riku learned that Yushi still hated coffee.
Yushi learned that Riku still hated tomatoes.
“You picked them out again,” Yushi said one afternoon.
Riku looked down at his lunch.
“So?”
“You've been doing that since you were little.”
Riku glanced at him.
“You remember?”
Yushi's expression softened.
“Some things.”
The answer stayed with Riku.
Some things.
They were sitting outside the cafeteria, with students passing around them and the late afternoon sun coming through the trees.
Riku looked at Yushi.
“You still do that thing before performances.”
“What thing?”
Yushi frowned.
Riku pointed at his hand.
The thumb was rubbing against the side of his finger.
Yushi stopped.
“Oh.”
“You always did that.”
“I didn't know.”
“You never noticed.”
Yushi laughed softly.
“You did.”
“I had to.”
“Why?”
Riku shrugged.
“Because you were obvious.”
Yushi looked down at his hand.
“I'm still nervous.”
“Before every performance?”
“Most of them.”
Riku smiled.
“You hide it better.”
Yushi looked at him.
“Not from you.”
Riku didn't know what to say to that.
Neither did Yushi.
So they went back to eating.
Sakuya noticed the change.
He always did.
One afternoon, he found Riku packing his piano scores into a folder while Jaehee sat on top of a table nearby.
“You're leaving?”
Riku looked up.
“Yeah.”
“Where?”
“Food.”
“With Yushi?”
Riku paused.
Jaehee's grin widened.
“You are.”
“He's hungry.”
“That's your excuse?”
“It's not an excuse.”
“Okay.”
Jaehee leaned toward Sakuya.
“He's smiling.”
Riku looked at them.
“I'm not.”
“You are.”
Riku tried to flatten his expression.
Jaehee laughed.
“There. You look worse.”
Sakuya shook his head.
“Just let him go.”
Jaehee looked back at Riku.
“Have fun.”
Riku picked up his bag.
“You're both annoying.”
“That's why you keep us around,” Jaehee called after him.
Riku smiled as he left.
Neither of them saw the way Sakuya's expression changed once the door shut.
He was still watching the empty doorway.
“You think they're going to be okay?”
Jaehee's grin faded slightly.
“I don't know.”
Yushi had his own friends asking questions.
Sion was more direct about it.
“You trust him?”
Yushi looked up from his notebook.
“Who?”
Sion stared at him.
“Don't do that.”
Yushi laughed.
“I trust him.”
“You barely know him anymore.”
Yushi was quiet.
Ryo, sitting across from them, looked up from his phone.
“That's the problem, though.”
“What?”
Ryo shrugged.
“Maybe they don't need to know each other again.”
Sion looked at him.
“They already do.”
Yushi smiled.
Ryo noticed.
He didn't say anything.
He didn't need to.
One evening, Riku and Yushi stayed behind after rehearsal.
The rest of the club had already gone home.
The music room had become quiet again.
Yushi was packing his violin.
Riku closed the piano lid.
“You were rushing.”
Yushi looked up.
“I was not.”
“You were.”
“You slowed down.”
“You followed me.”
“You're supposed to.”
Riku smiled.
“You're impossible.”
Yushi laughed.
“You still notice everything.”
Riku leaned back against the piano.
“Someone has to.”
Yushi looked at him.
The room felt different when it was empty.
Maybe because there was no one else to interrupt them.
No friends.
No club members.
No reason to pretend they were only talking about music.
Yushi closed his violin case.
“Do you want to get something?”
“Like what?”
“Food.”
Riku nodded.
“Okay.”
They walked out together.
At the stairs, Yushi glanced toward him.
“There's a café near my apartment.”
Riku looked at him.
“You want to go there?”
“They have food.”
“That’s your argument?”
Yushi shrugged.
“It worked.”
Riku laughed.
“Fine.”
They kept walking.
Outside the building, the evening had cooled.
The campus was beginning to empty.
Students crossed the courtyard in small groups, some heading home, others toward the dorms.
Yushi shoved his hands into his pockets.
Riku walked beside him.
For a while, neither of them said anything.
Then Yushi spoke.
“Coffee tomorrow?”
Riku turned his head.
“You still hate coffee.”
Yushi looked at him.
There was a pause.
A small one.
Almost nothing.
But Riku noticed.
Yushi's expression had softened.
“You remember?”
Riku smiled.
There were so many things he remembered.
The stupid haircut.
The nervous hands.
The tomatoes.
The way Yushi used to sit beside him on the floor when they were children.
The way he used to complain whenever Riku played too loudly.
The way he laughed when he thought no one was watching.
Things he hadn't thought about in years, and yet now they were all coming back with frightening ease.
“I remember everything.”
Yushi looked at him for a long moment.
Then he smiled.
“Tomorrow, then.”
“Tomorrow.”
They walked on.
Neither of them knew yet how much that word would eventually come to mean.