Work Text:
It had been one year since the war against Muzan ended.
The war had left the world abuzz with the promise of a better tomorrow. But it had come with a heavy cost.
How many people and comrades had they lost to bring the world closer to the horizon of a new future? He had lost the count.
Yet sometimes, the grief hit him harder than any physical loss like one including his amputated arm could.
Today was one of those days.
Technically this was supposed to be one of the better days for Giyuu since the war ended.
Kanao and Tanjirou were getting married. After Tanjirou's close shave with worst of destiny, and his recovery post two months of coma, these two had dated for six months. Eventually, they decided to get married.
Of course, after everything, these young ones deserved their happiness. Not only Tanjirou, but also Kanao.
She was permanently blinded in one eyes, he had heard after three months of the final battle how Kanao and Inosuke had won against the Upper Moon 2.
It had been Shinobu's plan.
Between wrecking sobs and hiccups, when Kanao told him that Shinobu had injected herself with a modified wisteria poison in order to offer herself as a bait to the demon, Giyuu's war-torn heart was left shattered.
He had no idea. Yes, he noticed her smiles become strained, and her skin growing paler, yet he was not in best of spirits himself to probe anyone else's well-being even if it was her.
Giyuu looked around the garden where all those left behind had gathered.
Sanemi looked pensive, his brother's death broke whatever spirit of force was left in him. Tengen attended with his wives and son. He was chatting animatedly with Kiriya, yet it was very difficult to miss the forlorn expression in his eyes as he looked at the empty seats reserved as symbolic of those who weren't there with them.
Zenitsu, Inosuke and Murata had surrounded the groom while Nezuko, Aoi and the Butterfly triplets were inside with Kanao. Urokodaki was also sitting somewhere there.
Shinobu would have loved to see this day. She would have left no leaf unturned in making this day memorable for her sister.
Even in brief period they stayed together, he knew how much she loved her people at Butterfly mansion.
“Tomioka-san, I hope one day the young ones no longer fear the night.” She had told him once, earnestly.
Giyuu had said nothing.
They bonded well, going on missions together, enjoyed talking to each other. But Giyuu's own list of losses was too heavy of a weight to realise he sought more than friendship from her.
By the time he realised, the final battle against Muzan arrived at their doorstep. And then, there was nothing left to say.
Giyuu had walked through the wisteria garden in the Butterfly estate many times after he recovered. He had walked through the corridors of Butterfly mansion, the markets, the roads, they both had covered together.
Yet nothing could ease the pain of loss inside him.
Suddenly, the ceremonial music played, announcing arrival of the bride.
Everyone turned their heads towards the entrance.
Kanao entered, flanked by Aoi and Nezuko on each side. However, it was the Butterfly pin in her hair that gripped Giyuu's heart with such a painful lurch that he quickly averted his eyes.
It was Shinobu's; battered but intact, a true embodiment of her existence and the battles she fought.
Shadows of yesteryears danced in his memories as a spitting image of her smile rose in his mind with unflinching cruelty.
Tanjirou had stepped forward to take Kanao's hand to take her to sanctum of the shrine where the officiating ceremony will start.
Giyuu turned to look at them again, and for a moment, the Fate decided to play a cruel trick on him as Kanao and Tanjirou's silhouette in the wedding attire transformed into him and Shinobu.
He had always wondered if Shinobu ever harboured feelings of more than friendship for him.
His doubts were quelled when Aoi handed him a letter with trembling hands and tear-brimmed eyes she found when they were cleaning up her quarters.
It was a letter addressed to him.
“Dear Tomioka-san, no, Giyuu-san,
By the time this letter reaches you, I will be gone from this world. I know I am a coward in not facing you with honesty before this inevitable moment but please know you were one of the most memorable people I met in this turbulent life.
I wish we could have been more than friends. I wish you didn't carry the burdens you did, and I didn't have the ones I had. Perhaps, Love could have become an easy pursuit then.
I wish there was a future where the demons didn't exist. But that is what we all are fighting for. And should such future happen, which I am sure will, where you get to live without me, promise that you won't linger.
Giyuu, you have carried enough grief for one lifetime, and if you get a chance, promise me you won't squander it.
No matter who else stands besides you, live.
Maybe, in another lifetime.
Yours,
Shinobu”
Giyuu wasn't able to sleep for three nights after getting that letter.
How many times had he envisioned her in a wedding dress?
How many nights had the dreams of their happily ever-after tormented him?
He remembered meeting Kanao a week before her wedding.
He had gone to offer his congratulations, and blessings to the young couple.
When Giyuu entered the room, he saw Kanao sitting near Shinobu's goldfish bowl. Something heavy had settled inside Giyuu's chest. Kanao noticed.
That is when she did something so uncharacteristic that Giyuu was momentarily left immobile, she didn't speak, didn't blink— she ran towards him, wrapped her hands around him like a child hugs a parent and cried.
Giyuu could feel the mourning for her sister in her sobs against the plain fabric of his yukata.
He couldn't offer any congratulations or blessings as his own tears slid down his face without pretense. At one point Tanjirou and other young ones had quietly walked in and joined them in their mourning with their own tears and pain.
The whole memory proved too much for him as his jaw tightened.
Shinobu deserved to be here.
She deserved to see her sister get the happiness she could never.
She didn't deserve to die such a painful death.
All the regrets hidden within the deep chambers of his soul rushed through his bloodstream with unforgiving rush.
Suddenly, he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. He turned his paling face to look at none other than Sanemi. His own eyes carried centuries-worth of sadness.
“Difficult to watch, isn't it?”
That is all it took for Giyuu's restraint to break. He covered his eyes, and wept without making a sound. He didn't realise when Sanemi removed his hand and watched the rest of the ceremony with a mixture of relief and mourning. He didn't see Kanao passing him, her own eyes filled with tears, or of the other girls around her. He didn't see Tanjirou's own grief reflecting heavily in his eyes as he looked at the empty chairs.
He didn't see anything.
In that moment, his grief consumed him like a gaping wound devours the flesh.
People are right when they say the moment of loss is most intensely felt in the times of happiness...