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If MJ was being honest with herself, which she really was trying to do these days, she was having a bad week. To start for some awful reason, the onlycompanies whose morals were too dark grey for her liking were getting back to her, she had just started her period, and to top it all off Paul was messaging her. Now, on a normal day any one of those problems in isolation would have been a walk in the park, but today MJ wasn’t having it.
She had an Aerospace Engineering degree from MIT for fucks sake, why did the world have to punish her just cause she didnt want to work from any of the companies whoes only selling point was that they were less morally corrupt than their competitors. MJ had spent her whole life pushing back against what she thought was wrong, and standing up for what she knew was right. It wasn't like she had been sheltered from the real world or anything but God it was so much easier to stay strong and true in high school and college compared to whatever reality she was living in now.
Paul used to wind her up, judging her for turning down offers, always saying she was throwing her life away, she would ignore him, obviously, but now with rent due to go up in the next quarter she really had to take a job that wasn’t working part time at the cafe down the road.
It was almost as if Paul knew his words were still racing around her mind as her phone buzzed on the desk. She saw the letter P first, the corners of her mouth starting to turn up until she realised it was not Peter but in fact her infamous ex boyfriend. She sighed heavily, running her hand through her hair until it got caught in a knot, groaning as pushed her laptop away and rested her head on the desk.
The last thing MJ wanted to do right now was deal with his bullshit. She reluctantly opened her phone, half swiping the message.
From Paul:
Hey, Michelle, just saw this offer for a job at Hammer Tech, thought you might like it?
I saw you still haven't updated you’re linked in and needed a leg up
I know were done but i’d like it if we could catch up for dinner sometime, let me know when your free
MJ’s jaw dropped, she was genuinely gobsmacked by this man, the pure audacity of him to a. send her an indeed link to Hammer Tech of all the places in New York, b. have the confidence to ask her out, all while c. still lacking the ability to use the right you’reanother issue stress herself out even more. After a few moments of stewing in her hybrid frankenstien creation of an existential/quarter-life crisis she clicked onto Peter’s icon, sending off a quick message.
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
I know you’re you know who, but seriously how are you dealing with the shambles of the job market rn, I am on my last straw I cant take this anymoreee
From Peter🌸🌷🌻
Em I’m literally broke you know this
But if you wanna know the tricks and tips for borderline bankruptcy I’ll have you know freelancing is the way to do it
Tried and tested by your’s truly
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
Great cant wait to try that one myself and see how long it takes for a rando to pay me a gazillion dollars for some flight path logistics
Who knows i could sell that to a super villain or some shit and get rich
Sorry
That was rude
I just can’t bear the thought of job hunting for another 2 months but that sounds risky
From Peter🌸🌷🌻
no its okay
It's only kind of
But I’ve got measures in place to stop that so dont worry!
It's so fricking hard atm but if anyone can do it it's you!!!!!
Also not to be rude but when was the last time you left you apartment??!
MJ’s heart was in the process of warming in between receiving texts two and three, but it cooled dramatically as the final one came through. Seriously, first Ned, and now Peter was badgering her too. Deep deep MJ knew she’d do the same to them but now wasn't the right time. Was it that bad for a girl to want to wallow in her feelings for at least 4 business days? Peter obviously didn’t agree so she begrudgingly replied.
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
Monday
From Peter🌸🌷🌻
Em
MJ felt the blush rise in her cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and endearment. No one else but Peter was allowed to call her that and it felt even better to see it typed out in front of her. MJ’s mood had brightened just a fraction, like the first light setting on dimmable lights. Her day was barely better but at least she had some inkling that it wouldn't end like the last two, miserable and hopeless.
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
What about it
From Peter🌸🌷🌻
?!
I know you're free right now cause you’re texting me
I’m about to go ikea wanna meet me there?
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
Yeah sure!
Maybe I can give them my CV
Peter🌸🌷🌻 reacted to your message with a laughing face
From Peter🌸🌷🌻
Great!
See you in 30?
To Peter🌸🌷🌻
Make it 20
Peter🌸🌷🌻 reacted to your message with a thumbs up
She threw her hair up into a ponytail trying to ignore the myriad of knots before pulling together an outfit that barely passed as acceptable. Honestly, at this point MJ didn’t care, they’d both seen each other at their worst, tears and all, how would day four hair and her borderline pajamas make any difference.
As if on purpose, to make her day even worse, the subway was delayed like she should’ve expected. She arrived ten minutes late to a smug looking Peter. She wished she could kiss the smirk off his face but she wasn't going to add a rejection to her already long list of problems.
Peter had noticed her staring at his lips and chuckled lightly, because of course he did. MJ could feel her face burning as he pulled her into a hug she could feel the laughter reverberating from his chest, god she was having a shit day but it made her happy seeing how Peter was finally coming out of his shell.
“Hey, Em. Tell me, what's it like to be out of your natural habitat for once?”
She pulled back a little, staring down at him in feigned annoyance while Peter's eyes only sparkled in response.
“Honestly, I don't know why I even bothered coming out if this is who I’m having to deal with.”
“Come on, I’m not that bad.” he took his hand leading her through the entrance before grabbing a cart with his spare.
“So what’s Mister I’m literally broke doing prancing around Ikea?” She swung their arms between them as they walked through the store.
“I have you know I’ve been saving up for this. You of all people know this trip is long over due.” He blushed a little.
“You sure you’re not selling Spider-man selfies to The Daily Bugle again for some extra cash?”
Peter halted for a second defending himself, “That was literally one time.”
“Mmmk,”she walked on pulling him with her. “What are we looking for anyways? Please tell me there’s at least a kitchen table on the list.”
He nodded.
“And a couch?”
“Woah, don’t push it now.” His face broke out into feigned disbelief, “how am I supposed to carry both of them home when I only have two hands, and right now I just have one?” He looked down at their intertwined hands, he could get used to this.
MJ smiled softly, being around Peter really was making her day better.
They reached the kitchen section a few minutes later, Peter nudged her and pointed to one of the show rooms. “Who do you think lives here?”
She moved the cart out of the way letting go of him as she walked into the set spinning around, taking it in. The painted pale blue walls, white brick backsplash and counters all seemed very sleek and fancy, she knew it was a show room but it fell too put together.
“Hear me out, wealthy family of four, the mom’s a lawyer, family court. She knows her husband's cheating, she’s secretly been drafting divorce papers.” She rests her elbows on the island as she talks, completely stealing all of Peter’s attention. “Here’s the kicker, he never cooks and she's waiting for him to bring the other woman home, the papers aren’t even hidden, just waiting in plain sight under one of the plates.”
Peter gasped dramatically, putting on an awful southern accent that rivaled one of The Real Housewives as he spoke, “No damn way you mean, our Rachel from the office, wow.” he mimed throwing his hair behind his back before leaning forward in mock horror. MJ couldn’t help but burst out laughing and for the first time that week it was real, straight from the heart.
They got a few strange looks from the other shoppers, maybe two twenty somethings shouldn’t be acting out elaborate life stories and start focusing on their own but the whole reason MJ came out was to forget about her quarter-life crisis so they happily ignored them.
Okay, perhaps that wasn’t the only reason she agreed to meet Peter, maybe she just wanted to see him again in the flesh, and really after the week she had who could blame her.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got a flair for the dramatics?”
“What can I say, I’m multifaceted.” MJ responded with a smirk appearing on her face.
“Oh, I’m sure you are, Em.”
MJ would guess around thirty minutes had passed before they reached the cafeteria, as they passed the showrooms they took on roles as mob bosses, real estate agents, the hardest one of them all was them pretending to be two perfectly normal functioning adults.
On their journey Peter had noted down the kitchen set he’d wanted and they were now sitting with two plates of steaming Swedish meatballs in front of them.
“You know I think lunch is becoming one of my favourite meals of the day.” Peter said as they started their meal.
“Yeah.” she responded but it came out more a question. Peter nodded again, the corners of his mouth turning upwards slightly before she asked, “How come?”
“Well with breakfast and dinner it's just a necessity, you know?” Peter started, his mashed potatoes suddenly piqueing his intrest. “Lunch though, it's gonna sound cheesy, don’t laugh, but it gives me a little hope. It reminds me of a certain someone, “ he looked back up at her, eyes sparkling, “and, more often than not, "I get to spend it with you.”
“I can’t believe you're saying this to me over ikea food.” she stammered out all sarcasm lost as her heart warmed.
“Em, I said, don’t laugh!” but a chuckle escaped his own mouth, and then MJ was joining him and it was sweet music to his ears.
“I didn't.” She sobers up but her cheeks are still underpainted with red and her smile is full of something akin to admiration. “That was actually really sweet of you.”
With nothing to rush them, they ate slowly, mindless conversation flowing between them until Peter lightly tapped her shoe with his own, something shifted.
“Hey so, not be a debby downer, but what's up with you, you can talk to me you know?”
MJ put her cutlery down, if her from three years ago found out she was having therapy with spider-man over Ikea meatballs and fucking lingoberry sauce she would have lost it. She wasn’t that MJ anymore, thank god, but she was thoroughly confused how her life had gotten to this point.
“Um, well you know how it is with the whole job situation,” she stumbled over her words, hands fidgeting with the edge of her sleeves under the table. Looking back at him, Peter was nodding at her to continue.
“Let’s just say rent is gonna go up in a few months, my savings are running out, and i just want,no-” she corrected herself, “I just need a fucking job where I dont have to throw my moral compas to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.”
MJ was flustered as Peter took her hand from where it was now resting on the table, squeezing it tight.
“I think I get it.” because of course he did, it wasn’t even condescending or anything of the sort. For once MJ had someone who actually understood her and it made the lump in her throat grow even more.
“The last few years as spider-man have been so fricking hard to keep going and staying true to myself. I’ve had to make choices I wouldn't wish on anyone and to this day I still don’t know if I’ve made the right ones.” He paused for a moment trying to put what he’d learnt over the past four years into a couple short sentences. “Don’t sacrifice your beliefs when it's all falling apart, Em, because once you land at rock bottom it's the only thing you're gonna have to keep you going.”
“Then what do I do?” she asked, timidly, the intensity of Peter's words echoing in her ears.
MJ didn’t want to fall apart. She had just found her missing piece, he was sitting right in front of her, surely that would be enough to hold her together. Yet was she supposed to keep holding on when her beliefs were the one thing keeping her back. She was getting lost in her head again when Peter broke through her haze.
“I know you’ve been avoiding big corporations but with your degree have you considered Stark Industries?”
Usually the look she gave him would be enough to shut his mouth, she was not doing this again today, but he continued regardless.
“Trust me I wouldn't bring it up if I didn’t think you’d like it. When I last saw Pepper, um Miss Potts she mentioned how her final project before her break would be opening a sustainability based technology research and engineering facility up here in New York.” Peter rambled on noticing how MJs face started to brighten.
“I was keeping tabs on it to make sure it wasn’t a greenwashing scam and it's not, I promise. I’m not sure the exact start date but it's so close to getting greenlit by the board really soon and then the listings will go up.”
“That sounds amazing but are you seriously trying to nepo me into Stark industries?” her heart was racing in disbelief yet she couldn’t let herself build hope in this so quickly. As much as she dreamed of something like this she would never let it just be handed to her. As wonderful as that would be, it just wasn't fair.
“Em, how can I nepo you into Stark Industries when Ms Potts doesn’t even know I exist?”
“Oh.”
Peter shrugged as if to shake off the pain, it was a little easier to talk about it now, at least with her. “My thoughts exactly."
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think that through,” She went to put her hair behind her ear, only to remember she'd tied it up, leaving her hand frozen awkwardly in the air before she lowered it again.
“You don’t need to apologise, Em, in the beginning I used to forget too.” Now, MJ knew Peter was trying his hardest to comfort her but god did it break her heart to him mention the spell so simply, like it hadn’t gone and ruined his life. Like it hadn’t ripped him from her. Somehow he moved passed it pulling the focus back onto her and suddenly to MJ, her problems felt miniscule
“Anyways, was there anything else bothering you? This goes both ways.” he finished, gesturing between them.
“No, but thanks.” MJ wasn’t about to unload the whole Paul problem on him now.
“You sure?”
“Later.” Damn it why didn’t she just say no, he would have dropped it too.
“I’ll hold you to it.” Peter said, collecting the finished trays, MJ was grateful he’d turned his back to drop them off. It gave her the perfect cover to collect herself, taking a few deep breaths like E.V. had taught her.
She was not going to freak out in Ikea but like hell did she want to get out of there.
Peter sensed her discomfort, he set the pace a little faster than before, and soon later they’d checked out, Peter with a Hägernäs under his arm and the other wrapped round MJ’s as she carried a blue Ikea bag that was filled to the brim.
They weren’t too far from Peter’s place and after their shared subway trip, MJ didn’t want to ruin the mood between them further. Instead she suggested they'd walk home and enjoy the cold breeze New York had to offer at that time of year.
It also meant the journey would take longer allowing MJ to spend more time with him and the walk back felt like it happened a million times before in the best possible way. The silence between them though comfortable was charged, full of possibilities, as they neared the apartment, MJ’s week from hell was slowly brightening up.
MJ thought Peter's apartment looked better this time round, he’d added a few new plants making the one she’d brought over less lonely. The piles of blue prints had been stacked away and only one half drunk coffee cup remained next to his monitor, the rest sitting neatly on the shelf above the sink. Peter had hung some fairy lights on the shelves that E.V. had switched on as they walked in, finally the place looked a little more like a home. Even though he tried to hide it MJ could tell how proud he was of the space he’d created, of course it still needed some love in the form of a new couch, but to him it was more than enough.
“What do you think?” He asked, shifting on his feet.
“I’m honestly impressed if this was my first time visiting and you showed me a picture of the before I would’ve thought you were lying.” The corners of Peter’s mouth had quirked up as MJ spoke, “It looks great, let’s unpack and tie it all together.”
The smile on Peter’s face and the way his eyes lit up was so genuine and sweet that MJ just had to stop for a moment kissing his forehead, she definitely didn’t blush over how he’d leant into her touch.
“Right.” He recovered slower than he’d like to admit, “Let me get you a drink, I’ll have you know that I’ve got some juice now. I’ve got, apple ‘cause that’s the one you had in your fridge, I hope it’s okay?”
“That’s great, look at you,” she exaggerated, raising a singular eyebrow. “So when’s that grocery store of yours opening? She exaggerated, the memory of her first visit flashing in her mind.
“Give it a few years and I’ll have one of my own in every borough." Peter's back was turned as he joked, pouring their glasses, yet MJ could see the subtle shake of his shoulders.
“Sure, Spider-man opens his own supermarket, where can I apply?” MJ joined his laughter, the two sounds blending together like a perfect harmony, a song that would be forever stuck in their heads. “But seriously, thanks.”
“No problem, I told you I was trying to get better at this whole adulting thing.” he shrugged.
“Well I think your final challenge is putting together the furniture.”
“I’ve built a Lego Death Star before I think I’m going to be okay.”
MJ only responded with a slow blink of suspicion.
Oh and weren’t those Peter’s famous last words.
Now he could build furniture that wasn’t the hard part. Instead he was simply so distracted by MJ’s attempt in making the couch comfortable with blankets and cushions that he’d manage to put the wrong screws in the wrong places at least twice.
He knew something was still bothering her; Peter just didn’t know how or even if she’d want him to bring it back up. Over the past few years he’d watched his friends from the sidelines change and grow into wonderful people without him, he had MJ now but that meant he’d be damned if he let her leave upset once he finally had the chance to do something about it.
Peter set the half-done chair to side with the finished table before speaking, “Em?”
“Yeah?” MJ looked up from the throw she’d been taking the label off, sensing a shift.
“You said there was something else bothering you, do you wanna talk about it yet or…?” he trailed off.
“Yeah, I guess.” MJ looked away, her hands finding comfort in the soft fabric of the blanket, grounding her as she searched to find the words.
“Look, um, Paul messaged me. It was just stupid stuff he’s said before but I just feel like everything he said to me is all piled up in my mind.”
“Oh, was it what he said or just in general?”
“A mix,” She started, squeezing the blanket tight, her voice agitated. “He sent me a job link to fucking Hammer tech of all places then had the balls to ask me out afterwards” she could feel her self growing irritated at the thought of it not noticing how Peter’s hands had stilled.
“Em, I’m so sorry I acted just like him earlier, God, I literally did the exact same thing.” he blurted out anxiously.
“Not really, you actually understand why I didn’t take up the Oscorp offer even though it could probably pay off my student debt in like five years. You actually looked into the Stark stuff. With Paul, he just didn’t care, all he wanted was for me to get over my childish idea of justice, lower my expectations and get a grip.”
She went to run her hand through her hair and when got caught again, she pulled out the hairband in frustration, rolling her eyes as it snapped in the process.
“The thing is that I know he’s wrong. I blocked him after that anyways, but I just can’t get what he thought of me out of my head. I’m starting to think I’m asking, hoping for far too much, that he was right.” Her voice quickened as she rambled on nervously, her thoughts escaping.
“That he was probably right and I need to settle for something else, that's how I ended up dating Paul in the first place. I thought I could just accept the type of person he would, ignoring how much I had to change myself for him around his friends, his family, because that was normal, that was what he wanted from me and it would be too much if I asked for anything else.”
“MJ, my favorite thing I’ve learnt about you over the past few months, ignoring everything before, is how passionate you are. I don’t think I’ve met someone who cares so much, the way your views are embedded into every part of your life. You’ve inspired me and I'm not making that up. I’m sorry Paul made you think that about yourself but I promise it’s not true. You shouldn’t have to change for anyone.”
He took a deep breath as he finished. “Someone close to me used to say that the people who care about you should love you for who you are, not who they want you to be, and I think you need to hear that too.”
She nodded, and this time in the comfort of Peter’s apartment she let the tears fall, not bothering to wipe them away.
“I- God how do you always know what to say all the fucking time, Peter, you’re too kind to me.” She choked out.
Peter replied almost instantly, like always, coming to the rescue, “Em I think there were different sides of the same coin. That's how I feel like I can always talk to you. It's like there’s a part of you finishing my sentences before I even start them in my mind.”
“Look, ever since the spell, especially in the beginning, every small act of kindness was like a hug. Any nice words to spiderman had me overjoyed. Normal social interaction didn’t exist anymore so I took anything I could get and ran with it. I viewed the shop keeper as a friend, he didn’t even know my name. I thought me and the captain were close but we only ever met on the scene. She didn’t know me at all.”
He sighed, Peter’s eyes weren’t glistening or red but the way he held himself with sunken shoulders showed how the loneliness had chilled away at his character over the years.
“When I hung out with you and Ned I wasn’t lying that was the first time I'd had that much fun in years” Peter wrung his hands together, “It’s gotten to the point where I think I’m too much for others because every action, every emotion no matter how small, feels so significant, so consuming to me.”
Oh and didn’t that just break MJ’s heart all over again.
“I know you’re gonna say I should listen to my own words, and I'm trying but I don’t think you're too much Peter.” MJ reached forward, gently turning his face towards her refocusing his attention on her words, he just had to get them into his head. To make them mean something.
“I think you’re honest, I think that you wear your heart on your sleeve but that you do it with pride. I think that you're not naive, you just actually care about people and there’s a big difference that I find really admirable.”
Peter paused for a few seconds, shock and wonder washed over his face like waves, until the tide retreated leaving only melancholy in its place. “I, thank you, I appreciate it but it sounds like you’re talking a lot about the old me though.”
“You know I didn’t know him though, so why won’t you trust me on this” MJ’s forehead furrowed in frustration, she wasn’t angry she just didn’t know how to make Peter believe that he was genuinely one of the sweetest people she’d ever met. He wasn’t just nice, he was a million times more than that and MJ just wanted him to know it.
“I’m trying to, I promise,” his voice was pained as he looked up at her again, his eyes boring into her in apprehension, “but sometimes I wonder what if you suddenly remembered who I was, who I used to be, would you like me very much? I think that you’d hate me for the views I had to leave behind and the ones I kept that made me who I am today.”
Peter had cried to her more than a few times since she’d met him, she wasn’t much of an emotional herself but MJ was almost envious of how he let himself be so open around an almost stranger. While MJ had seen his face full of tears on multiple occasions but nothing else could match the level of vulnerability, honesty he’d shown just then. Like he’d laid his heart bare just for her to see.
“We’re both different now, you don’t me that well anymore. It's been four years, I’ve changed a lot too.” she was adamant now, this conversation wasn’t going to end until he trusted her with this.
“I know”, he pushed out his voice tense.
“And I know you do, but you have too but that doesn't mean that we can’t get to know each other again.” She breathed out questioning, “I mean isn’t that what we’ve been doing the past month or so anyway? Over that time not once have I thought you were even a little too much for me.”
He could only nod in response as MJ placed a hand on his knee, she wasn’t finished yet .
“Everything is always going to change and at the end of the day you are not the same person you were yesterday nor am I.” Peter tilted his head to the side in recognition as she continued. MJ couldn’t ignore the hope starting to blossom in her chest.
“Fundamentally I’m still MJ you’re still Peter and maybe it was the spell to start but I know it’s not anymore, there’s always going to be something drawing us together, Peter. I don’t want the reason we throw this away to be based on what ifs.”
Peter’s breath haltered, still unable to speak but his eyes were overflowing with hope and his face was slowly lighting up.
“I like you, Peter, and I know you love me, so the pieces don’t quite match yet but they might do one day and I’d really like to stick around in your life to see that happen."
MJ’s eyes were a little red from earlier but they still sparkled with the reflection of the fairy lights, her gaze fully captured by Peter’s as he sat across from her.
“Oh, Em, I- of course you can stick around.” MJ hadn’t seen him smile so big before, his dimples were out in full force and her heart only fell harder as he spoke. “I couldn't ask for anything better. I want to be in your life. Look, It’s going to take some time for things to feel normal, but I wouldn't want to figure this out with anyone else but you.”
Pete reached out, pushing the loose strands of hair behind her ear, before cupping her cheek gently, leaning in until their foreheads were touching.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispered between them, it seemed the whole world around them had faded away leaving just the two of them to exist, together.
MJ nodded and the kiss was slow and soft; it felt like coming home, like a hug after a bad night, like a fresh home-cooked meal made by someone you’re slowly falling in love with.
The past didn’t come rushing back to her but MJ didn’t mind, she saw this new beginning, a brand new day. The two of them hadn't exactly grown together the conventional way, and instead were reading one another like books, back to front, getting to know each other by taking the pieces apart instead of putting them back together. MJ could feel how the air between them had shifted as she pulled away, electric and full of opportunities just waiting to be taken by the two of them.
MJ nearly leant in to kiss him again but the toothy grins etched into both of their faces stopped her. She was finally close enough to see all the freckles that covered his face and the deep blush that had tried but failed to cover them, the sight stole her breath away.
Peter pulled her into yet another hug, humming in content and MJ would happily get used to it. The place in his arms had started to feel more and more like home and she wouldn’t dare complain as he pressed soft kisses to her hair.
And after all that, well MJ thought her week really couldn’t get any better.