Chapter Text
Sumi’s the bestest friend anyone could ask for.
Kazunari thinks he’s amazing. Anyone can tell that he’s kind to an unreasonable degree with an indescribable passion towards everything that he does. Sumi’s sort of like a fleeting paper plane, he figures, triangular from all sides and strong through even the toughest storms. With an attitude like his, the authentic cheerfulness that Sumi brings brightens up anyone’s day, being something to admire. He loves what he does, and does what he loves. It’s a simple way of living that branches out into his daily life, sprinkling petals of happiness upon anybody he comes across.
Because of all of this, the mere existence of Misumi Ikaruga is something dazzling. Kazunari can’t name a single person who would disagree. But, he wants to believe he knows this fact better than anyone else. Because they’re so close in every way, sure — but more so because he knows the awkward loneliness that Sumi, too, knows all too well.
This familiar loneliness is the kind that surfaces when observing others, those who have fun with each other, laugh with each other, love each other, and pledge to spend lives with each other. It’s the kind that leaves you stunned as you sit in the back of the classroom, only able to bear witness to the festivities from afar rather than joining the party yourself. Though, it doesn’t hurt — rather, it’s simply empty, leaving a gaping hole in your chest that’s hard to ignore. It makes you feel incomplete, like you’re missing a piece to this wider puzzle that everyone else has solved ages ago. It grows to become unbearable, this feeling that you don’t fit among the puzzle of everyone else.
So, Kazunari took the leap of faith to try and complete it, to change his fate and find his place among the others. On the other hand, Sumi accepted the loneliness and decided to embrace it for the rest of his life, willing to wander alone forever. When he learnt this, Kazunari couldn’t help but be amazed at the independent approach so different from his own. He wouldn’t say that his decision to flip a lifestyle over on its head was an easy task per se, but the alternate route of acceptance wasn’t something Kazunari could ever imagine doing either.
In a position like theirs, to not make any changes was practically a sentence to permanent isolation; which is not an easy concept to embrace at such a young age. But Sumi lives his life shamelessly and blissfully, with little to no concern of what others think of him. There is no filter, no fancy words. Just Misumi Ikaruga. Someone who’s content with just existing, and just being who he is, because that’s who he always was. Sumi made his choice bearable through a different kind of effort, one that others perceived as odd or otherworldly.
At times, Kazunari wonders who that child would've become if he had never found MANKAI. But what matters is that he has, and the only key difference is the size of his world. Sumi loves triangles, acting, and his friends (what best friend wouldn't know what his bestie loves?) and he forever will — that’s for certain.
MANKAI has allowed for the amount of those beloved things to only expand larger than he’d ever imagined it would, and as MANKAI charges forward, so will he. The leader of this self-crafted world will continue to stretch his rule farther and further, to impossible heights, and Kazunari forever wishes to be right there to admire it as it happens.
He wants to see Sumi’s colorful, triangular kingdom grow, because it’s what he deserves.
But, he doesn’t really know if he can. Not by his side, at least, because Kazunari Miyoshi already has a place in Misumi Ikaruga’s world — as a precious friend and nothing more — and because of it, Kazunari’s afraid that one day he’ll lose sight of Sumi himself.
Sumi’d run off far into the distance, singing his iconic tune set in threes. He’ll continue to, again and again, in order to fill his basket with triangular trinkets from faraway lands. Kazunari would love to run beside him, to help pick and choose and build sights that represent the both of them. But that’s Kazunari’s dream, not Sumi’s.
The reality is that he can’t keep up. Kazunari knows this fact well, that somebody so docile can’t run beside a person so vehement. Kazunari can’t match his pace, and therefore can’t enable Sumi to reach his full potential. What hurts is that he knows that Sumi would slow down, and would wait decades for Kazunari to catch his breath. But that’s not what he deserves.
Because it’d be selfish of me to ask him to stay by my side.
“Hello? Miyoshi-san?”
“Whuh—“ Kazunari jerks, feeling himself awake from his flurry of thoughts. He finds himself yanked with the pull of his phone, meeting the turquoise eyes of his junior. “Oh, Tsuzurun? What’s up?”
“I feel I should be asking you that, Miyoshi. I just came by to make some coffee, but you seemed out of it.” Kazunari’s lost expression seemed to prove Tsuzuru’s point. “Wanna kill some time?”
“No biggie, I’m totally down! Oh, I should probs find my phone first, though—“
“I have it.”
“Oh, whaaat?” Kazunari playfully slaps Tsuzuru, “Tsuzurun, you sneak!”
“Not really,” Tsuzuru grimaces, peeling Kazunari’s hand off his sleeve, “I literally ripped it out of your hands. I mean, seriously, I’ve never seen you thinking so hard before.”
Kazunari blinks. Was I really yearning that badly?
“Well, you know me! The lover boy over here has some love problems to sort out.”
“So it’s about Ikaruga?”
“…Ahaha.” Kazunari scratches his neck. “Maybe?”
Kazunari hears a sigh escape his junior’s lips, and watches as Tsuzuru sits down on the couch across Kazunari, even going so far as to set down his newly brewed cup of coffee down on the table between them. He recalls that the company-wide bulletin board was packed today, and nobody has walked in or out of the lounge in what feels like forever. Clock ticks can be heard amongst the silence, and Kazunari senses a looong talk ahead of him. He surrenders immediately.
“Okay okay! You caught me, I’m being down bad for Sumi.”
“As per usual.” Tsuzuru leans against the couch, getting comfortable.
Kazunari grumbles, finding a pillow to find comfort in, “Well yeah, but… I don’t know. It’s kind of confusing. Does it seem confusing? Like, me and Sumi?”
“You mean your dynamic? Uh… From an outsider’s point of view, I feel like it’s straightforward and blatant but there’s obviously something going on underneath that only you two can figure out. You act like best friends all the time but there’s some sort of…” Tsuzuru pauses for a second, as if revisiting a traumatic flashback, “…Constant romantic tension where you two are standing on a very thin line. That’s a way to put it. You know, I wrote Yoshimaru and Kiichi like that for a reason.”
“Right! That’s the thing! Like, I’m just as confused with whatever we have going on as much as you are! It’s so…” Kazunari ruffles his hair in his hands with a groan before continuing on.
“Me and Sumi are like… jumbled, you know? It’s so blurry that, on one hand I’m appreciating it for the fact that we can just be something, but on the other hand I have absolutely no idea what that something even is! How do I know how Sumi feels about me if I don’t even know what we are in the first place?! At this point, it’s all up to interpretation, but I’m afraid that I’m too biased towards my own fantasies, or something.”
The blond shrinks down in his seat, voice falling to a defeated low, “I don’t know. I’d like to think that he likes me, but maybe that’s just me being an optimist.”
Tsuzuru recognizes the solemn pause, and makes sure to match Kazunari’s volume with his own. “Then, can’t you just ask him?”
“What?!” Kazunari booms, throwing his pillow at Tsuzuru, “Tsuzurun, respectfully, are you insane?!”
“Ow—?!“ The injured winces, “I thought we were being quiet—?”
“Have you never picked up anything romantic in your LIFE?!” Kazunari whines, paying no mind to his junior’s pleas, “You can not ask the best friend that! Do you even know what that compromises?!”
“Okay, okay, I get it! Calm down! But it’s not like he’d say no, right? Let’s be honest. Romantic or not, I feel like Ikaruga would do anything for you.”
“I…” Kazunari pauses, failing to open his mouth, once, twice. “I mean, I guess, but…”
“But?”
“I think that’s the scary part.”
“…I see.” Tsuzuru nods, “So you don’t want to bring it up because you feel like he’d just go along with it?”
“Yeah. I feel like Sumi’s the type to just say yes, because of course, he likes me. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. But love? Like, romantically?” He winces, “Not to say he can’t speak for himself, but what if he just says it to go along with it? Because it’s me? I don’t want to say I influenced him or anything like that! I’d feel horrible. I don’t want him to feel obligated to say yes. I love Sumi because he’s honest, so I want his honest feelings.”
“Simple as that, huh?” Tsuzuru nods, now taking a sip of his slightly cooled coffee, “In that case, I guess it’s just a waiting game for you, then.”
“Ahh, what a pain…” Kazunari slumps over the armrest with a big sigh. “Being a hopeless romantic totally sucks…!”
“I could always write a new Summer Troupe play for you, if you want. How’s friends to lovers sound?”
“Acting isn’t the truth, Tsuzurun…!!!”
△
The good thing about university is that the flood of assignments stalls trivial feelings from bubbling to the surface of the mind. The bad thing is that, when you forget your earphones, the solo walk opens the dam and those bubbly feelings burst all over. In Kazunari’s case, even more inevitable yearning than before!
Assignment? How many triangles can I hide in this thing?
Dinner? If I work on my assignment, maybe I’d get served onigiri instead?
Arriving home? I wonder if Sumi will be there waiting for me?
Honestly, Kazunari’s never been at a more boyfailure type of low. He doesn’t know what it is lately — maybe it’s the fact that he’s accepted his perma-label as bestie, and that’s opened the gate for hopeless fantasies (pretty evil of his brain BTW!) or it’s the incoming cold of autumn that’s making him crave the warmth of somebody else. Either way, he feels pathetic. Even more so than he usually is.
The blond stops in his tracks and sighs, tattered by love and beaten by school. There’s only one thing on his mind that can save him from this state.
“Kaaaazu!”
And speak of the triangular devil!
“Ah, I know that voice!” Kazunari’s head flicks upward, and he has to scold his suddenly beating heart to calm down ASAP. Was the way Sumi called him a little sweeter than usual, or just the usual? Why’s he so excited? Why’s he so obvious? Kazunari lightly slaps his cheeks to subside the sudden rush of blood, eyes still scanning the rooftops above in excitement.
The pitter-patter of sneakers across cemented rooftops get louder, faster, and suddenly a blue blur drops from the orange sky above Kazunari, sticking the landing with a performative bow. The college student claps at the display of athletics, and the visuals that accompany it.
“Hehe, Kazu!”
“Sumi! Where’d you come from?!”
“Triangle hunting!” Sumi beams, framing his hands in a triangle shape, “I had a triangular leaf, but it broke apart before I knew it.” His fingers flutter apart with his words, and his whole frame droops along. Kazunari pouts at the sight.
“Aw, bummer. That’s what autumn weather will do to you though, right?”
“Hehe, yeah!” Kazunari’s heart warms at Sumi’s smile. “Oh, does Kazu wanna come search for some more with me?”
“Eh, for real?” An impromptu date? “It’d be a total honor〜!”
“Let’s go then!”
Sumi grabs Kazunari's hand in an instant and the blond can’t help but blush, but thankfully he trails behind in a way that hides his pink ears from Sumi’s gaze. He soaks in the warmth between his and Sumi’s palm in silence, relishing in the small interaction. Maybe being a boyfailure isn’t too bad, so long as he can stay lowkey like this.
In typical Sumi fashion, the two run all over and under Veludo Way and its outskirts for their triangle hunt. Peeking through windows, climbing up trees, and glancing over and under benches. With them two, no triangle goes unfound as they stumble upon newborn kittens with purrfectly triangular ears and nearly crumpled (but oddly geometrical) autumn leaves to make up for Sumi’s previous losses.
As the sunlight fades away, the shadows of the streets dance around, and the pair begin to find sun-lit triangles, formed by linear patches of shade along various cracks of pavement. It's golden hour according to Kazunari, and as such the prime moment to take beautiful photos. Excitedly, Sumi volunteers to be his muse.
“Sumi, this would be such a sick shot!”
“Where?”
“Over here ♪ Check it out!” Kazunari motions towards a corner between two buildings, “Don’t the shadows here basically form a perfect triangle? If I snap the pic… Say, from around here, and you strike your signature pose, we’d get such a cute photo!”
“As long as Kazu says so〜” Sumi chimes, obediently skipping towards his assigned spot. “Kazu knows best after all!”
“D’aww, you flatter me!” Kazunari responds slyly, promptly ignoring the rise of heat in his cheeks. To align his camera with Sumi’s placement, he hops on a nearby planter’s brick rim to get the perfect angle. Needing a bit more height, Kazunari pushes his forefoot down and lifts his heels off the ground despite his body trembling, all in order to do justice to Sumi’s visuals. He adjusts his digital lighting and lifts his phone juuust right before giving a thumbs up. “Looking good〜! Lemme just adjust a ‘lil, and…
—Waugh!”
Suddenly, the photographer’s foot slips off the edge of the planter, sending Kazunari downwards at the cement below him. Instinctively, he slams his left hand onto the planter behind him in an attempt to soften the fall, but instead scrapes his hand on the rough weathered bricks as he tumbles down. Kazunari yelps, finally landing on the loud leaf-adorned floor, and seethes at the sting in his palm.
“Kazu!”
As quick as he can, Sumi rushes over and kneels down to meet Kazunari on the ground. Warm hands quickly grab Kazunari's left, and careful amber eyes scan the injury.
“Kazu’s hurt…”
“I’m fine, Sumi!” Kazunari assures out of habit, “It’s just a scratch—“
“No, it’s bleeding,” Sumi’s expression saddens, and Kazunari’s pain spikes, “It might not hurt, but we need a bandage for you! It’s not good to leave it like this.”
Still holding on tight to Kazunari’s wounded hand, Sumi’s head perks up to assess the streets surrounding them. “There’s a park that way! It’s better to sit on a bench than the dirty floor. Come on, Kazu,” Sumi ushers, raising Kazunari to his feet and pulling him closer. In the back of Kazunari’s mind, the blond wonders if spraining his ankle instead would’ve resulted in a bridal carry, but he quickly swats the thought away before rushing to follow Sumi across the quiet street.
It’s already gotten late, and by this time most students have made their way home to the warmth of their bed. For the double three pair, they pick a simple wooden bench to rest. Sumi brushes off the crinkled leaves of autumn for Kazunari, and he thanks him with a wink before taking a seat. The entire time, his left hand is never let go, and Sumi’s nimble hands run across it once more before delving into his jean pockets.
“Yuki gave me these in case I ever run into any kitties that need help,” Sumi explains, as he unfolds a cat-patterned cloth, “But I never thought that the kitty would be you, Kazu!”
Kazunari laughs, “That’s my bad! Not as agile as a kitty, unfortche.”
The simple exchange fades away with the quiet of the incoming dusk, and Kazunari’s eyes follow as Sumi wraps the cloth around his palm. The sting still lingers, but begins to be overwritten with the light touches of cotton and the fluttering warmth that Sumi’s careful fingers leave. Sharp pain slowly melts away and so does Kazunari, gradually becoming flustered by the subtle intimacy of the moment. Unable to physically escape, Kazunari scrambles to find freedom with his eyes instead, diverting them upwards to focus on Sumi’s expression rather than their direct contact — but his attentive gaze only makes Kazunari’s face freeze up.
Partially because Kazunari thinks it’s handsome. Partially because it kind of stumps him too.
Sumi’s unique gaze isn’t anything new nor surprising, but… at times, especially recently, it starts getting muddy to Kazunari. Like it’s a sea of something he can’t figure out. It’s confusing, jumbled, with far too many explanations behind it. He can’t help but feel curious about them, the intent hidden behind those eyes so similar to the sky that he adores so much. Kazunari can see a dusky morning, a clear blue sky, and a muddled sunset all at once. He wants to ask, “Which one of those do you really feel?” But both of them know Kazunari’s preference towards the happy ending of blue skies. They’d both say the same thing because of it.
And that’s the issue. Kazunari wants to pick out something from that mix-up of feelings, and label the entire jumble as one simple thing. He wants to call it love. He wishes he can call it love. But that’d be so selfish.
It’s romantic. Painfully romantic, this stage built at the fall of twilight with dimmed street lamps illuminating around them, and only them. The air is warm, their chests are warm, their hands are warm, and it’d be perfect, Kazunari thinks, if Sumi would lean close to grant us a happy ending. But what’s happening now is their real story, not his own fantasy.
To help bring him back to reality, Sumi finishes off with a tight pull of the cloth around Kazunari’s palm, and finally lets go of his hand.
“There we go〜”
“Thanks, Sumi,” Kazunari mutters, before snapping back with an apologetic clap, “But— I’m super sorry! We were supposed to get you a cool pic from this! I’m totally down to try again, maybe if we just change the spot a ‘lil—“
“It’s okay, Kazu.” Sumi cuts him off. “I don’t mind taking care of you like this.”
Huh? Kazunari’s brain malfunctions for a sec. Isn’t that just a line straight from a shoujo manga…!?
Kazunari can barely even comprehend when Sumi’s hands come to guide his joined hands away from his face. His heartbeat quickens, and it starts beating even faster when he begins to realize that Sumi is now way too close not to notice the pumping of blood to literally every inch of his skin.
Uh-oh. This is sooo not lowkey.
“Haha,” Kazunari laughs, trying to cover up with a laugh and cute smile, “Sumi’s so kind〜”
“Mhm.”
He does not move away at all. Kazunari tries again.
“Um— You’re sure you don’t want another pic—?”
“Nope!” Sumi chimes, this time smiling right at Kazunari. It’s like he knows…!
“Really? I mean, it can’t be that hard, I’m a photo pro, you know? You should know! Because—“
“No, Kazu should rest!” Sumi’s cute fangs peek out with his big smile, and he tilts his head to seemingly tease Kazunari even more, “And if you don’t, then I’ll have no choice but to take extra good care of you, okay〜?”
What!
What—!!!
Ah, no, no, no—! I’m totally taking this the wrong away again! Sumi takes care of everyone, what am I on?! I’m not the exception! Darn my pathetic hopeless romantic shoujo-manga influenced brain—!!!
“Ah, Kazu’s so red!”
“What! Nooo!” Kazunari sputters, “It’s just the blood flow ‘cause of the scrape! That’s all—!”
I’m losing it! I’m fumbling so bad…!
“Kazu〜”
“Have you checked the group chat lately? It’s getting late, Sumi! It’s almost dinner, we should probably get back home!” Kazunari’s right hand slips into his back pocket, searching for his phone for any kind of last resort. Please.
“Kazu—“
“Oh! And would you look at that!” Kazunari exclaims, successfully forcing his phone into Sumi’s face and Sumi’s face away from his own. Sumi blinks a couple of times before Kazunari pulls his phone back to him, tapping away right away, “Omimi’s giving us a heads up for dinner! How kind is he for that!? Classic Omimi, for reals〜”
Quickly, Kazunari finds his comfort in a commentary train and Sumi is simply there to listen to him. No small proximities, and nothing out of the ordinary. Their stage begins to return to normal, and Kazunari attempts to return his heartbeat to normal too, by ignoring Sumi’s existence just for a while.
Now pushed to a distance, Misumi’s head cocks to the right at the sudden switch-up. He loves Kazunari’s ramblings, he really does, but right now he tunes it out to focus on emerald eyes instead. He recognizes that, through the cheery chatter, they’re scrambling, flickering in every which way except his — just as Kazunari’s fingers are, tapping across the electronic screen to shoot a swift n’ cute reply back to the group chat. It’s not that weird, but something inside Misumi flips around, and his right hand feels for his heart. It aches a little.
The oddly warm winds of the autumn night fall to a close, thankfully, and Kazunari finally finds peace in his calmed body as he hits send to his last message. He’s stalled long enough to where his cheeks are a normal shade of pink (he checked in the camera app!) and his voice has calmed to a normally squeaky pitch. Perfect!
“Okaaay! Reply sent!” Kazunari cheers, locking eyes with Sumi, “Ready to head back?”
As anticipated, Sumi gives a firm nod and the usual cute smile. Kazunari feels a weight off his shoulders at the sight, but there’s still a slight pressure pushing him down. He tries to ignore it, but it continues to haunt him, even as he rises from the wooden bench and the pair begin to walk back home together. He doesn’t truly shake it off until he makes it to his loft bed that night.
Kazunari thinks it’s funny — how he wants to get close to Sumi and yet can’t handle him being so close at the same time. The intimate moment between them was just too close to crossing over the line of “just friends” for him to not freak out. Then again, isn’t that what Kazunari wants? He laughs at himself under the dimmed light of room 202. Maybe I really am just scared. Scared to rock the boat of friendship between us.
I don’t want to lose our progress. I don’t want to stop being friends. I always wanted to say that I’ve liked to try new things, but I guess the old habit always lingers, because right now I’m too scared to risk the spot that I already have in Sumi’s heart. And even if I’m to be lost in the growing sea of things he loves as time goes on, at the very least I can enjoy what I have now, in this moment. Because at least I know that I’m his precious friend. Somebody who he loves, even if it’s not reciprocated in every way.
In Sumi’s life, I’ll take whatever role Sumi thinks is right for me.
Because I love Sumi.