Chapter Text
Ever since he joined my stream that night there's been something different about going live. All he did was undermine my work, what I fight for people to understand. But still something about the way he talked so effortlessly… Part of me is jealous. That night was different from other nights on live. How could someone as self aware as him support everything against what I do? I can't stop thinking about him.
I close my computer, my digital entree is still open for later. I massage my shoulders, I have work to do. I don't have time to think about whatever that man had going on. I didn't get much sleep last night, I was up researching and thinking about him, even though I wasn't trying to. All my thoughts led back to that livestream. That guy, his ridiculous humor, how he loved that he had been christened “pus pus guy”. It was all so unreal. He was on my Live again last night, after weeks of nothing. How could someone like him exist, he was almost a perfect match for me, the way he talked was so easy to fit into, to debate him and how.. “What am I saying?” I laugh to myself and shake my head, standing up from my chair. It happened again, all my thoughts led back to him.
I walk to the window of my apartment, looking down at the beautiful skyline of Grand Junction. It's a beautiful out, I should do something. After a few minutes of admiring the city I’m jolted back to reality by my phone buzzing from my desk. I turn and look at it to see Parker was texting me. I had gotten tipsy and ranted about Pus Pus to him for hours last night. I cringe and open the text.
[Hey Dean!]
[lol r u feeling better after last night?]
[u’ve really been letting him get to u]
I type out a quick response.
[yeah.. Idk what happened sorry about that]
[i havent been able to focus on my debates recently]
Or anything else for that matter, but Parker doesn't need to know that. My phone lights up with his response almost instantly.
[i have an idea on how to fix how hung up on that conversation u r, but u might not like it…]
[why dont u DM him? Ask for another debate?]
[or just to talk about his views]
I look down at his texts for a while, almost swaying under the pressure of all the reasons not to. But one reason to do it, I want to. But what does that mean for me? I'm sure it’s just a natural response to finding someone else's views so interesting, but why have I been so hung up over this.. I had to find out, but on one condition. I would let him approach me first. If he joined my Live again tonight I would DM him. I send Parker my response and put my phone in my pocket, grabbing my shoes. I won't let the anticipation eat away at me for the next few hours, I’m going to distract myself.
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I get back home just in time to set up, if not a little bit after schedule. As I set up my mic and camera, I feel my heart start to race with each minute closer to the stream. When I finally log on and start to get my views up, my heart begins to still. Why would he join? He has no reason to, he was here just last night. My thoughts are interrupted by someone requesting to join the Live, How to train your liberal. My eyes go wide and I quickly accept the request, as I push my expectations down I hear him speak.
“Miss me yet Dean?” My heart skips a beat, and I frown, what the fuck? Why do I care so much? He's just another trumpie. My throat is dry and I swallow before speaking. “Welcome in, are you a trump supporter?” He snaps back instantly, “Dean, honey, haven't we been over this one already?” He laughs clearly moving away from whatever device he joined on, I can hear his footsteps. “We sure have, puspus.” I laugh slightly. I hear a smile in his voice when he says, “Whatcha gonna do about it huh?” Leaning back in my chair I fiddle with a pencil from my desk. “Maybe I could change you, who knows.” He moves back to his setup, “Oh yeah? Try me.” My voice doesn't come out for a second, “Yeah, I bet I could.”
I remove him from the live with a shaking hand, my heart beating fast from.. the opportunity to help someone, probably. Sending him a quick follow request I continue with my live, unsure of what comes next. He doesn't respond for the rest of the live, or even interact, but my mind is still set on him, and what he said. I finally end the live and lean back in my chair once again. He was so.. it doesn't matter. I get up and go to bed, hoping I'll understand myself better in the morning.