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Annabeth hated going to sleep. If it was already bad before the battle of Manhattan, it only got horribly worse after the war. Right now, she was breathing heavily, while Malcolm sat next to her, comforting her. Their cabin was pretty much still in bad shape, but she and her siblings — the ones who survived the war, insisted on staying there.
“It’s okay, here, drink some water.” Malcolm handed Annabeth her water bottle. He was sitting next to her on her bed. She could tell he looked pretty shaken up too. How couldn’t he? Because he had just seen her thrashing in her sleep and waking up screaming and crying.
“Thanks Malcom. I’m sorry.” Ananbeth looked around to see, if she woke up rest of her siblings, but thankfully they were all fast asleep.
“Go to sleep.” she told her brother, but he sighed disapprovingly.
“Annabeth, what’s going on? Talk to me please.” He pleaded.
Annabeth knew he was worried. Afterall he just saw her almost die during the war; he watched their siblings die. He held Annabeth tightly, when she was screaming and crying, watching Bronte’s lifeless body. Of course he’s worried, because Annabeth herself can’t stand losing anyone anymore.
“I’m fine. Just nightmares. I’ll be okay by tomorrow. Go to sleep.” She lied, and she knows he didn’t buy it. But he chose to listen to her and went back to his bed half-heartedly. Sleep didn’t come to Annabeth, which was probably for the best, because her nightmares had been getting worse. It felt as if Morpheus himself had taken special interest in her.
Annabeth lay awake on her bed, unable to stop thinking about her nightmares. The one she refused to tell Malcolm, because where would she even begin? Her nightmares started with Luke visiting her home, asking her to run away with him. His grip on her wrist almost bruising, begging her for forgiveness. Then about Hermes screaming at her on Mount Olympus, then Silena’s sacrifice, Luke’s face when he used her dagger to kill himself, and the voices? The voices telling how she wasn’t smart enough to save everyone. How it was all her fault.
Annabeth felt like her head was about to explode. She had felt so alone this summer. She came to camp right after Luke's visit, which was before the labyrinth, hadn’t spent much time at her dad’s after that. That place never felt like home anyway. She had spent all the time training. With the prophecy weighing on her, Percy’s absence hurting her more than she wanted to admit, and the guilt over Luke, the war had been slowly killing her. She spent most of the time sparring with Clarisse, planning with Katie, and talking with Juniper from time to time. And of course, Silena was the one person she opened up to more than anyone else.
Silena. Annabeth felt like her heart was breaking all over again thinking about her. She was carrying so much guilt and sacrificed herself in the end. She was blaming herself till the moment she died, even when it wasn’t her fault. It was Luke’s fault, he manipulated Silena, he used her love against her, just like he did with Annabeth.
Silena’s confession before her death gave Annabeth a mini heart-attack. She wondered when Luke’s manipulation started. Did he stop loving her? Did he even love her in the first place? She was searching for the boy who found her in the alley, who instantly cared for and promised her family. She didn’t give up on him even when everyone told her she had to. Heck, her fights with Percy always were about her stance on Luke, and he was right. Luke was no good news. He put her through so much pain, but still part of her, didn’t want him to die. A part of her mind was telling her he suffered all his life, he didn’t deserve that fate, while the other part was screaming about how much pain he caused her and camp.
Annabeth didn’t know when she fell asleep, but when she woke up the next morning it was already bright. She rubbed her eyes and looked around her cabin, which was mostly empty. They might’ve gone for breakfast, she thought.
Soon she got ready, and she did try to skip breakfast, but Malcolm already bought her food and didn’t leave her until she finished it. Of course, he’d be stubborn, he is her brother after all.
After breakfast, Annabeth was fully focused on work. There were new cabins to build, wounded campers to tend to, and welcoming new campers. She also had to check on Juniper, they lost so many brave dryads, naiads and satyrs, she had to honor them all. Having a lot to work on made Annabeth feel relieved. This way her mind won’t be drifting elsewhere and start spiraling. Annabeth was even convinced that her fatal flaw might be overthinking and not pride, because that’s how bad it was inside her head.
“Annabeth, the Artemis cabin is not built yet, but we might have some hunters visiting today, what do we do?” Travis asked her.
“They can stay with Thalia, in Zeus cabin, until their cabin is built. What about the others? Do we have anyone from Hecate or Hypnos cabin? Also, all of the demigods that arriving at camp are getting claimed right away, yes?”
“Yeah, they are. The Hermes cabin isn’t filled with unclaimed demigods, which is weird, but of course good kind of weird. Damn, the gods really listened to Percy’s requests huh? As they should.”
Annabeth nodded, the mention of Percy made her body react and mind wander again, which she did not appreciate. She quickly shook the thoughts away.
“Okay, let Chiron know about the cabin situation, and when you’re done, please help Katie. She’s going to take the new campers around the camp, it’ll be easier if she has company, and if you see Malcolm, tell him to start working on rebuilding the damaged cabins.”
Travis nodded and gave her thumbs up and a smile.
“Annabeth!” Someone else called making Annabeth snap her head in that direction. It was Lacy and Drew from the Aphrodite cabin.
“Annabeth, our cabin is almost ready, we have bougainvillea, and butter peas ready, let us know when your cabin is done, so we can plant them.” Drew said.
Annabeth smiled at them. This had been Silena’s idea. She had always talked about how creepers are not only for decoration, but they also hold soil tightly in place and prevent erosion from wind or rain. Annabeth loved that idea right away, and of course, she, Silena, Clarisse and Katie Gardener thought of executing the plan. Now that Silena is gone, she could see why her siblings were quickly working on it. Losing Silena was hard for everyone in their cabin, and they were trying to honor her by bringing her vision to life.
“I will let you know once the cabin is done Drew. What about your cabin, did you get any new siblings?”
“Yeah, we did. Two of them, we are letting them process the information slowly. Their mortal parents aren’t bad, however, we don’t want to scare them because this is all too much to take in you know.” Lacy said.
Ananbeth agreed. Of course, Aphrodite’s kids know how to handle new campers. They don’t frighten them with tons of unwanted information. Aphrodite kids are extremely emotionally intelligent, and they are also naturally good at talking to people, so Annabeth didn’t have to worry much.
“Okay, you do that. I’ll have to go check on Juniper.”
They nodded before bidding her goodbye.
Juniper mentioned meeting Annabeth near the Canoe lake, so Annabeth hurried, before anyone else stopped her. She didn’t want to keep Juniper waiting. However, when she reached the there, Juniper wasn’t there, but someone else was.
Percy.
She didn’t expect to see him there.
“Hey” he smiled at her, a soft smile.
“Hey” Ananbeth replied, not too cold or not too soft. She looked around, searching for Juniper; Percy might have noticed.
“Are you looking for Juniper?”
“How do you know?” She looked at him.
“She was here when I came, said she was waiting for you, but then Grover needed something, so she went with him. She told me to inform you she’ll meet you later.”
Annabeth nodded, turning around about to leave, when Percy spoke.
“You’re leaving?” He was standing opposite her.
“Yes, I have work to do.”
“I know, but it can wait you know. You don’t have to do everything alone.”
“I know. And I'm not doing anything alone. And I have help.” Annabeth didn’t mean to snap, but her tone wasn’t exactly friendly.
“Annabeth,” Percy came a little closer, making Annabeth take a step back, she noticed pain flicker across his face. She quickly looked away.
“Talk to me, Annabeth. Is there anything going on? How are you holding up? I know it was a lot for you, everything that happened with Silena, and on Mount Olympus. So, tell me, and I will listen.”
“I’m fine Percy, I should go.”
Annabeth didn’t want to stay there, because she was very close to breaking down. Percy’s soft voice was doing something to her. She doesn’t like this, him handling her, talking to her as if she’s made of glass and could break any moment. She didn’t like it when anyone did that.
“You’re not fine. You had nightmares, and you barely slept.”
She whipped her head toward him so quickly.
“How’d you know? Did Malcolm tell you, I swear to gods I—”
“He’s worried about you. We all are. I know none of this easy for you, just tell me.”
This made Annabeth feel even more angry. She didn’t want his pity, even though deep down she knew it wasn’t that, she couldn’t hold it anymore.
“Why do you care?” Annabeth snapped at him, “Why all of a sudden do you care about how I feel? All summer you didn’t care, now you want me to talk to you? Why? What changed?”
She saw his eyebrows knit in confusion, and then his eyes darkened.
“I don’t care about you? Where is that coming from?” Percy didn’t raise his voice, but it was not soft like the one earlier.
Annabeth rolled her eyes.
“You know what, forget it. I don’t even want to talk to you about anything.”
“Why? Why don’t you want to talk about it? You called me coward for running away from my feelings, now what are you doing?”
“So, are you calling me a coward?”
“I’m asking you to stop pushing me away Annabeth.”
“Why are you here Percy?”
“What?” Percy looked confused, and mildly irritated.
“Shouldn’t you be at home? The war is over, you don’t have to swallow the bitter taste in your mouth and count your days until you leave camp. It's all over why you are still here?”
She knew she was wrong, but she didn’t want to stop. The question she really wanted to ask was: Why have you not left me like others?
Percy looked mad, hurt, and seriously annoyed.
“I know you think very little of me right now Annabeth, but I have my reasons to stay at camp. Like you I want to help, and I want to help you too, but not when you’re so adamant on keeping me ten steps away from you.”
“You were fine with that this whole summer. Hanging out with your mortal friend, you were fine with me keeping you ten steps away. What has changed now? All of a sudden, you want to check on your camp friend Annabeth?”
Annabeth didn’t know what made her lash out this way. She was hurt that he was spending time with Rachel. She maintained her distance with him since last summer, she didn’t call him or try to speak to him. She would re-read the letters he used to send her, wondering where they went wrong. She stayed away from him even when her heart was screaming at her to go and crash into his arms, just like it’s doing right now.
“Annabeth” Percy sighed, closing his eyes. A hurt expression crossed his face, which was soon replaced by anger. Annabeth was too frustrated, she didn’t understand why he wasn’t walking away? Why was he trying so hard? Right now, she didn’t want anyone to understand her or even worse handle her.
“What changed now? If this is about me taking a dagger for you, don’t even try. Consider it as equal for the time I messed up at the labyrinth and cost your life.”
Percy ran his fingers through his hair, trying so hard to control his emotions. His jaw clenched.
“Annabeth, stop—”
“I don’t want your pity, Percy.”
And that was it, he snapped, just like water breaking out of a dam.
“Pity? Annabeth, are you even listening to yourself? You think I pity you?”
“Well then what?”
She heard a crack of thunder and suddenly the rain began to pour. Just like her, the cloud were tired of holding it all together. And perhaps that was a good thing, because this way Annabeth’s tears won’t be noticed.
Percy inched closer; he was drenched just like her, and he didn’t try to keep himself dry.
“You don’t know? Was I that bad at showing how I feel? Was I misreading what you feel? I don’t think so.”
“Yes, you did, because there's nothing.”
Annabeth turned and started walking away, but Percy followed. He stepped in front of her, blocking her path.
“Then why did you kiss me? Why did you kiss me on Mount St. Helens? If there’s nothing, then why did you do that?”
Annabeth stared at him. Raindrops fell against her face, making it difficult to hold his gaze for long and forcing her to blink too often. He didn’t have that problem, which annoyed her for some reason.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
She said and walked away again. She heard him scoff, his footsteps following closely behind. Then she felt his hand close around her wrist and pull her back. His grip wasn’t harsh.
“What does that mean?” His eyes remained trained on her.
“Maybe you wouldn’t have ran away if I didn’t kiss you. Maybe you would have stayed. Or maybe you would have still found the mortal world more interesting. Who knows? What do I know about being normal anyway? I only know how to be a demigod after all.”
Her chest hurt with every word she spoke, looking at Percy’s pained expression, she could tell he felt the same way.
But soon his expression changed into anger. She knows that look, the one he has when he fights monsters, the one he has when he’s putting a god in their place. But she’s never seen him direct that at her. Not until today.
“Are you done? Or there’s more?”
Annabeth just kept staring at him.
“Pity? Interesting? Is there something else you want to add?”
Annabeth was breathing heavily just like him.
“Me wanting to be away from camp was because of war, I never wanted to be away from you Annabeth. I did try talking to you just like now, but we always argued or you’d avoid me in all way possible until I left. How was I supposed to talk to you when you always shut me down?”
“Oh yeah? And you didn’t have drachmas? You couldn’t have called?” Annabeth retorted.
“You weren’t even responding to me properly when I was in person, what were the chances of you responding to my calls?”
“You just didn’t want to.”
“You didn't know what I want or don’t want Annabeth.” Percy’s voice sounded stern.
“And what is it that you want?”
“You!” Percy said immediately.
“I want you.”
Annabeth’s stood there drinking in the sight of him. She felt dizzy, as though the world was spinning in the other direction, and one more word from him would be enough to make her lose balance.
“I wanted you, I always wanted you. By my side. There was no confusion in that.”
Percy came even closer, so much that if he leaned, their foreheads would touch.
“You want to know how my summer was? There wasn’t one night where I didn’t think about you, there wasn’t one morning where I didn’t wake up disappointed not being able to talk to you. You consumed me Annabeth.”
He looked desperate, as though he wanted her to understand not only every single word he says but also feel every single emotion he feels.
“You were right, I ran away. Ran away from my feelings because I was afraid. Because what I feel towards you was not something I was able to put into words, and it scared me. I didn’t know how you felt and you were cutting me off. We both weren’t doing well, and everything that was happening around me, it was all too much for me to handle.”
Annabeth kept listening to him. Her eyes brown eyes swaying side to side, as she was looking at him stunned, not by the words or by the confession, but by the fact he was still saying. He was there standing, even when she was trying to push him away. He was fighting for her, fighting for them. Percy gently cupped her cheeks with his hands, which made Annabeth flinch slightly because of how cold his fingers were, but she didn’t move away from him.
“There was never a confusion about what you mean to me, Annabeth. I just couldn't name what you mean to me because you always meant more. You are the reason I am alive. You are the reason I am staying at camp.”
Tears started streaming down her face. Percy gently wiped them away, which sort of surprised her, since she thought the rain would conceal her tears, but he somehow figured it out. She could never hide anything from him — it was as if he could look directly into her soul, and that thought scared her, which was also the one of the main reasons she avoided him.
What if he sees everything? What if he sees how broken she is, how complicated everything around her is? What if he sees that and leaves her like everyone else does? And if he saw all that, what was the reason he was staying?
“Why are you still here, Percy? Why haven’t you left me yet?”
Annabeth asked him, and she could see pain flashing across his features. His hands were still cupping her cheeks.
“Because I am lost without you, Annabeth.”
Percy’s voice was barely above a whisper, and Annabeth felt giddy at his abrupt, yet honest confession. He liked her as much as she liked him. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. But they both were too stubborn, too nervous, too occupied by the war and prophecies to address it. His actions hurt her, and hers hurt him. It was funny how they both believed distance was the answer, or that’s what she believed. But the truth was the opposite.
The way he revolved close to her during the war, the way he looked at her when the gods offered immortality before saying no. They didn’t have to say things out loud, they both knew what they meant to each other.
“I’m sorry.” Percy broke her chain of thoughts.
“I am sorry for not being here when you needed me the most. I’m sorry for making you doubt your importance in my life.”
The rain had stopped from pouring heavily to a gentle drizzle. Annabeth shook her head, and hugged him. She sobbed, burying her face in his chest, and Percy held her. She didn’t tell him anything, she just cried in his embrace, this time she didn’t hold back. He was her home, it had always been him, her safe place. Percy was muttering sorry now and then while pressing small kisses on top of her head.
“I’m sorry. I hurt you too and I am sorry.” Annabeth mumbled against his chest.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I am sorry for pushing you away.”
Percy's hold on her tightened as if promising he’d never let her go again. Her mind was a mess, she was still not over the horrible war, but being with Percy gave her the strength to face all of it. Everything was a little less frightening with him. His mere presence gave her hope.
She looked up at him and sniffed. The rain had stopped, and her clothes weren’t as damp they were supposed to be. Percy held her face and kissed her forehead.
“We are going to be okay. We'll get through this.”
Annabeth was grateful that he said “we” instead of “you”. It made her feel a little relieved, that he didn’t treat her like she’s something that needs to be fixed.
“I wanted to run away from the prophecy, I was scared my choice was going to be wrong. I feared who I was.” Percy spoke in a very soft voice which felt very intimate, it was the voice he only used with her, when he’s about to say something that was going to keep her up for nights.
He leaned in and his forehead touched hers. Annabeth didn’t even care if anyone was watching, all she craved was the warmth of his touch and the familiar scent of salt and rain that always seemed to cling to him. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to dwell on the feeling. His arms were now cupping both her elbows, and her hands found his shirt sleeves, gripping them tight.
“With you I didn’t have to run away from who I was. Because you were right next to me always reminding me who I am, and what I fight for. Without you, I wouldn’t even be able to bear the curse of Achilles.”
Annabeth slowly opened her eyes, knitting her eyebrows, confused. He stared down at her, a small smile found its way to his face, she could also find a hint of mischief in his eyes.
“I’ll tell you later, I promise.”
For a second, his eyes travel down to her lips before coming back to her eyes again.
“When you talked about permanence, I wanted it so badly, Annabeth. I had million things I want to say to you, but we were in the middle of the war and I thought I wouldn’t....”
Annabeth shook her head, “Don’t say it. You’re here, and that’s all that matters. Please don’t say it.”
Even the thought of him not surviving the war terrified her.
“I didn’t mean it. I know you don’t pity me, I know what we have, I—” Annabeth was searching for words.
“I know. It's my fault, too. I wasn’t really understanding about Luke.” Annabeth noticed the flicker of anger cross his face when he mentioned Luke’s name. Annabeth wondered how he’d react if she told him actually what happened during Luke’s visit.
“So, do you want to talk about the nightmares?” Percy asked gently.
Annabeth shook her head.
“Later? I don't want to talk about it now.”
“Do you want to go meet Grover and Juniper? Will you feel better?”
Annabeth hoped he could see how much she adored him. She shook her head.
“Just stay with me?” She asked.
Hearing her request, his hold around her tightened a little. His blue eyes held serious determination.
“Always Annabeth. I’m not leaving you. Never again.”
Annabeth smiled at him, before hugging him again. There was nowhere else she’d be right now. She knows that he basically confessed to her, and so did she. Annabeth always knew saying “I like you” would never cover what they felt for each other. Their bond ran far too deep, that mere words couldn’t describe what they felt for each other and what they would do for one another. Sometimes, it scared Annabeth, how much Percy meant to her.
Slowly Annabeth broke the hug, but his hands were still holding her waist, and both her hands fell on his arms.
“The nightmares were about war, Silena and Luke, I can’t...it was—”
Annabeth really tried to tell him about it, but she just couldn’t.
“Annabeth it’s okay. Take your time.”
Annabeth nodded gratefully at him. Then she looked around to register her surroundings and quickly all the stuff she had to do came rushing back to her.
“Oh shoot! I have so much to do, I literally forgot.”
“Annabeth how about we go for a walk? Or we could just hang out in my cabin?”
Annabeth was a little taken aback by his offer, especially the second one. But she knew where he was coming from. He had told her many times that she shouldn’t carry all camp problems, and that not everything was her responsibility.
“I—” Annabeth started but stopped when she saw Juniper and Grover. Just then she realized how close she was to Percy. Annabeth quickly separated herself from him, unlike Percy who didn’t mind being close to her.
Juniper gave Annabeth a hug, and she could see Grover pat the back of Percy’s shoulder too.
“Did you wait for me for too long? I am sorry I told Percy to tell you.”
“Yeah, it’s okay, he told me. We were uh, talking.” Ananbeth replied. It wasn’t fully the truth but not a lie either.
“Okay, since all the four of us are here, shall we sit here for a while?” Juniper asked Annabeth and then turned to look at Grover, who nodded excitedly at his girlfriend’s request.
Annabeth looked up at the sky, and it was a lot clearer right now, the rain had stopped, and her clothes were pretty dry, which she was very sure had something to do with the son of Poseidon.
Annabeth saw Grover spreading a blue blanket, for them to sit, after handing over a basket to Juni which he was holding. Did Grover and Juni thought of spending time alone? Or did the three of them plan bringing Annabeth here anyway? Was Juniper even waiting for Annabeth? Ananbeth asked herself, her mind was always quick with bombarding questions.
“You have that face again.” Ananbeth flinched and then she realized Percy was leaning over and whispering into her ear.
“What face?” She whispered back.
Grover and Juniper were talking about something while arranging the blanket a little occupied, so they didn’t notice the conversation between Percy and Annabeth, or the closeness.
Percy smirked, that damn trouble-maker smirk, “The one you always have when you are thinking about something. That focused owl face.”
Annabeth eyes widened, “No I don’t”
Percy smiled, “See this one is night owl face, eyes all wide and cute.”
Annabeth scoffed, “I don’t make all the faces you keep accusing me of.”
“You sure do, Owlabeth.” Percy was bighting his lips trying hard not to laugh.
“Owlabeth?” Annabeth scowled.
“Yes, this one is angry Owlabeth.” Percy winked at her. But before Annabeth could respond, Grover called them.
“Are you both coming or not?”
Annabeth realized Grover and Juniper were already sitting down, waiting for them, She scolded herself for not being attentive. The sea god’s son was really taking all her attention to himself. How did they end up bickering, especially after the whole emotional outpour they had earlier, she would never understand. But she wasn’t complaining.
“We are coming” Percy announced taking Annabeth’s hand in his, as if it was the most natural thing for him. And walked forward. When they both sat down, Grover and Juniper were looking at her expectantly, which made Annabeth furrow her brows.
“What?” Annabeth asked?
“Nothing.” Juniper said, looking away, but there was a smile on her face. Meanwhile, Grover was giving Percy a funny look, to which Percy just shrugged in return.
Percy let out a huge sigh before saying, “This is nice.”
Grover and Juniper nodded in agreement, and Juniper placed her head on Grover’s shoulder, staring at the horizon far away. They both looked so adorable, Annabeth felt really happy they had each other. When she turned to look at Percy, he was already looking at her. He took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers.
For the first time Annabeth let herself forget about everything that was happening around her and just stay in the moment. Annabeth was actually glad she met Percy here, glad they had this fight, because that way they finally addressed the things they always tried to neglect.
Annabeth looked at their intertwined hands and then back at Percy. She mouthed the words, “thank you” to him. He simply smiled at her, a smile that made her heart flutter and squeezed her hand in response.