Chapter Text
Bakugo eyes snapped open and he shot awake breathing heavily.
Shit.
He placed his hand to his chest trying to calm down.
It was just a dream.
Just a dream.
But it wasn’t.
Katsuki Bakugo, a now very promising renowned hero student, had a past of cruelty and evil. Despite being known by his rather snappy and loud temperament he hated what it had one point in his life caused. There was a boy once. Who followed him like he was the best thing in the world. There was a boy who never stopped admiring him despite the cruelty. There was a boy who died.
And it’s my fault.
”Not again.”
The words taste bitter in his mouth. Like he’s watching that God forsaken video again. That video that showed what the cruelty did to that admiring boy. What Katsuki Bakugo had done to the one who loved him most. What he’d done to the boy once shined so brightly and dreamed so big.
He’s dead because of me. I’m such a worthless piece of shit. How can I ever be a hero after what happened?! I don’t deserve to call myself a hero… I don’t even deserve to call myself a friend.
He shook his head trying to stop thinking of the green curls that once bounced towards him to play with him. He tried to stop thinking of the way his eyes would sparkle when All Might would appear on TV (or anything for that matter). He tried to stop thinking of that day. The day he said something he could never take back. Those God awful words.
Flashback
“Y’know if you really want to become a hero that badly there might be another way! Just pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life! And take a swan dive off the roof of the building!”
That was the last thing I ever said to him. That was the last straw for him.
I broke his spirit.
I killed him.
I killed him.
I KILLED him.
I KILLED HIM.
I KILLED HIM!!
HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I COULDN’T STAND HOW HE WAS AHEAD OF ME!
HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I WAS TOO PROUD TO LET HIM BE BETTER THAN ME!
HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I’M A SHITTY PERSON!
A SHITTY HERO
A SHITTY FRIEND
A SHITTY PERSON
And somehow. I said it easily. Like every word that came out had no consequence. No meaning. Like I wasn’t being choked by guilt the second I started my sentence. Like it didn’t taste like pure charcoal in my mouth. Like I didn’t regret it. Like I could take it back the next day.
He didn’t get a next day.
No…
He didn’t WANT a next day.
Because of me.
I made his life hell.
And thought he’d be ok.
I thought he’d bounce back up.
He was the strongest person I knew.
I broke the strongest person I knew.
I’m the reason Auntie Inko is alone.
I’M the reason there’s a grave for a 14yr old.
I’M THE REASON HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF.
And somehow.
I’m
still
here.
Living HIS dream.
Living what HE wanted.