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Merlin is pissed off. He feels manipulated and trapped. He might have won the battle, but he is not sure if he has won the war. They made him a King, and with that they forced him to choose between Order and Chaos, between his two homes, between his two families in the Courts of Amber and in the Courts of Chaos. He has not chosen yet in his heart, but by making him the new King for the Courts of Chaos, they have made him duty-bound to protect the interests of Chaos, and the interests of Chaos are not always compatible with the interests of Amber, half of his family.
And at the moment the better and more welcoming part of the family. He can already see how in future every interaction he has with them will become more and more stilted and filled with suspicions or intrigue. The more time passes, the less he can see them and be comfortable in their company. Politics will rob him of the casual friendly family interaction he could enjoy with them up to this point. But now, soon when they learn of his coronation, it will always, always be overshadowed by protocol and conflicting interests that Amber and Chaos have. He does not want that.
He wants the casual lunches with Random and the talks of magic with Fiona, he wants to learn more from Benedict and feel the warmth that interactions with Gerard can bring. Instead, now he will see them rarely. Merlin is not sure if he even could quarantee their safety when they come to visit King of Chaos. After all, his own mother had imprisoned his estranged father right under his own nose for decades.
This was not how his year of aimless wandering was supposed to go. The plan was to tinker with Ghostwheel, have fun in shadows, and get to learn more about his family in Amber. Instead, he has been manipulated by powers far greater than himself, and in the end, showed in to a throne he didn't want. And the main players in this masterpiece of manipulation had been his own mother and older brother.
No, he refused to honor that woman with the title of mother! From now on, she will be just Dara for him, another subject of his Kingdom, a powerful and dangerous one, but no relative of his. Not worthy of his affection. If Dara's own son, Merlin himself, can be her breeding project, a tool to achieve more power and a puppet to be put on the throne like he has no rights or will of his own, then so can Dara be delegated into a stranger status. No mother with real feelings for their children could do that to their own son. But his has! A slave geas! They were going to use a slave geas on him, and bend his mind to their will. Unforgivable! And by his own beloved mother and brother to boot.
Mandor, his older brother who had always protected him and looked out for him with good advice or magical skills when needed. The man who charmed women with one look, and if he had bothered to, men too. His only ally he could always be sure to look out for him. Until now that is. A slave geas! A slave geas!!! Dara and Mandor worked together to put his body on the throne, and bend his mind to their will with a very powerful slave geas. It had been only heavenly luck for Merlin that Bleys was clever enough to secretly exchange the Pikards, and Merlin didn't wear the one with the mind controlling spells.
Damn this pit of snakes! He is surrounded by people who want to manipulate him, he has no allies he could trust in here. He has been away from Chaos such a long time that he is not up with the current situation. He is running blind in a situation where he is responsible for the well-being of a whole kingdom, and not just any kingdom, but one of the two Kingdoms that shape the universe itself. And he has no idea what to do and where to start.
Suddenly Merlin misses Frakir like mad, the comforting feel of the rope on his wrist, the pulse that always warns him of danger, his only loyal friend. Merlin has to think of a route to get Frakir back where it belongs - around his wrist protecting him. He will need all the trustworthy protection he can get as the new and inexperienced King of Chaos. The crown feels heavy on his head.
And then it hits him. Merlin is now the crowned King of Chaos. One of the most important realms in the universe, and he hadn't done absolutely anything to get it. How in the hell did this come to pass? He didn't have the wish, nor ambition for this. He always observed others - how they fought for rising in the line for throne, and yet he got the grand prize instead, without lifting a finger, without wanting it or not. In his case rather not. And the crown feels heavy on his head.
Merlin knows there will be only a short time for him to take a breather. Everyone is taking a moment to reorient themselves in this new situation with a new king, but sooner or later, and he believes it is rather sooner, everyone will be up to their old tricks - trying to see where they stand, and where he stands, how they can gain more power, control him, or get the throne instead of him.
He can already see in his mind's eye - Dara starting up new plans in how to get back in to his good graces. How she would start to guilt trip him with familial obligations., how she would whisper and plead with him: "Merlin! You are my son, I only want the best for you! You have been away for such a long time, let me fill you in on the situation." And from there she would slowly start to guide his decisions, and when he does something she did not approve of, she would talk black into white, until he didn't know up from down. She would entice him with motherly affection, and when he didn't bow to her wishes, blame him for being an ungrateful son. No, it is better like he decided - Dara was no mother of his, they were not family. Dara was his subject, nothing more.
Or how Mandor would try to sweet talk him with: "Merle! Haven't I always looked out for you? I protected your back when Jurt was being unreasonable! Your best interests have always been my intentions. You have been away for so long, let me fill you in on the current Court intrigue. Perhaps a lunch? I have become quite good with my culinary magic."
And Merlin would start to trust Mandor again, for he liked him and had always looked up to him, and before he would notice, Mandor would be his main advisor, for Mandor has always been wise, and so good at talking people into decisions they think were their own ideas. No, this will not do. Merlin should never forget for a moment how Mandor was one of the people who planned to put a slave geas on his mind. This is not something that should be forgotten and forgiven like it never happened. Merlin will miss his older brother, but he will have to remember that the Mandor he thought he knew was just a façade to lure him in and control him. He was like a pet for Mandor, someone the platinum blond could command, and sometimes praise for a job well done.
Jurt, his conflicting younger brother. It had been nice to have a short truce with him. They could be a good team, but he knows the truce will not last, for now there is Julia in the play, and where love and hearts are involved, rational and logical behavior usually leaves the situation.
For he can never see the three of them existing peacefully in the same realm. Merlin could not tolerate seeing Jurt and Julia together, flaunting their relationship to his face. Merlin was in love with her, and seeing her with his brother would hurt, but he also knew that Julia, the woman he had loved, was a stranger to him now and not the same person he fell in love with. For power had corrupted Julia, and her joy would be to see him suffer, and to do that he would have to manipulate his younger brother Jurt. Merlin might still be in love with her, but he will never forget that she tried to kill him by manipulating Merlins brother to do it. And that was something he could not forgive. Julia was becoming more and more like Dara, his and Jurts mother, manipulating their love for her like a weapon.
When Dara was displeased with one son, she would show her affection to the other and keep it away from the first one, and vice versa. And so would do Julia. Pit Jurt and Merlin against each other for her own amusement and power play. And that would not do. She would have to go from the Courts of Chaos, Merlin would see to it.
Nor could Merlin see Jurt being calm or rational about Julia when he would see Julia flirt with Merlin, or whisper poisonous words and lies to Jurt, about the older brother Merlin who had hurt her, who had stolen Jurts right to the throne. Merlin could not see Jurt stand up for that kind of manipulation, or stay calm when he thought his relationship with Julia was threatened.
Some way he had to get Julia to leave the Courts of Chaos. And if Jurt goes with her to be happy in some Shadow world, Merlin wouldn't mind. But not here in Courts, in his face, where he would have to see it.
Merlin has to stand on his own, and the best start would be to be always prepared with armful of spells for unexpected magic duels. For he can see that none of them, Dara, Mandor, Jurt or Julia, will keep peace with him for long. For all will want to control him or see him suffer. He will have to stand alone until he is sure what is going on, and find allies he could trust.
It's better to start preparing now. And the first thing to do would be to get Frakir. And with that thought Merlin brought out the sign of Logrus, and reached deep into shadows to call Frakir back to his hand where it belonged.
Fin