Work Text:
and with words unspoken
silent devotion
I know you know what I mean
and the end is unknown
but I think I'm ready
as long as you're with me
Cassian knows that there will be no rescue. His heart breaks when he realizes that Bodhi, Chirrut, Baze and his other friends are probably already dead, just like Kaytoo, if a droid can die at all. And now it's their turn. Fighting this war for majority of his short life, he's always been aware that this is exactly how he might die – leading a suicide mission, sacrifiring himself for greater good. He made that choice himself, contrary to Jyn. Cassian looks at her while the elevator's going down. There's no need to wonder what she's feeling right now, her face says it all. Pride, peace, but also fear of what's coming, cause even though it was her idea to steal the plans, she never asked to be drawn into all of this in the first place. Cassian wants to somehow comfort her, to say anything at all, but all the words stuck in his throat, so he just looks. It's always been so easy to read emotions from her face, even though she was trying to hide them. And with time Cassian started noticing fondness in her eyes whenever she was looking at him. They went a long way from distrust to... this, whatever it is. Cassian isn't sure exactly, but he knows what it could be and it breaks his heart even more. And all of sudden, he feels overwhelming anger. He's angry at fate and at the force that it made two people meet just so they can spend few moments together, taste what it could feel like and then let them die.
As they get lower, the elevator is somehow becoming smaller and smaller. Without even noticing, Jyn and Cassian move closer to each other, the air around them becomes thicker. When he's close enough to count all the dots on her pupils, Jyn slowly leans towards him and plants a kiss on his lips. But it isn't a desperate kiss of two people who are about to die, no. It's slow, gentle, but intense enough for him to forget that they're in the middle of a warzone. It's a kiss filled with gratitude, trust and forgiveness that they wouldn't be able to express any different way, at least not now. Cassian closes his eyes and grabs Jyn's face with both hands, he can feel her hands on his waist. When she finally breaks the kiss, his lips are burning. With his eyes still closed, Cassian leans his forehead against hers and sighs loudly.
"Maybe in another life...", he says with voice full of hope.
"Maybe", Jyn repeats quietly and at the exact moment, the door opens. Even though they'd both want this moment to last longer, they move away from each other. Jyn breaks, Cassian can see that she bites her lips trying not to cry, but strong as always, she puts his arm on her shoulder and without saying a word, they leave the elevator.
It takes Cassian few seconds to adjust his sight to the light and when he does, he can fully appreciate the view. The beach itself would look beautiful, especially in weather like this, but Cassian somehow manages to find the beauty even in the deadly Death Star that has already appeared on the horizon. He can't help but feel satisfaction knowing that this thing, may the force help, will soon be destroyed.
Jyn and Cassian fall on the sand after taking only few steps. They're both aching from head to toe and are too tired to go further, besides there's no point in doing so, neither is in running away – they can only sit and wait, cherishing last moments together. Suddenly Cassian's mind becomes a mess, full of chaotic thoughts. Like the phantom pain, he can still feel touch of her lips on his and there are so many things he'd like to say, but he choses to tell her what she probably needs to her the most right now:
"Your father would've been proud of you, Jyn." Jyn smiles at him and slowly puts her aching hand on his. They're looking for consolation in each other's touch, but that's not enough. With difficulty, Cassian moves closer to her and puts his arms around her. Jyn presses her trembling body against his, but instead of burying her head in his chest, she puts it on Cassian's shoulder, ready to face what's coming. They hear and feel the thunder of explosion; all of sudden giant shock wave replaces the horizon. Cassian can hear Jyn's sobbing and holding back tears, so he holds her so tight it almost hurts. And as the shock wave moves closer to them, Jyn and Cassian make peace with what's about to happen.
Maybe there are worse ways to go after all, captain Andor thinks as they become one with the force.