Work Text:
So maybe adolescence sucked and maybe Killua’s newfound sexuality was a huge inconvenience.
That definitely didn’t mean that he was jealous of Santa Claus out of all people, right?
“He’s gonna come tonight!” Gon whispered conspiratorially. “And I’m gonna get more presents than you are, Killua!”
Killua buried his face in his pillow and groaned. On one hand, he loved Gon’s naivete to pieces. It was one of the things that made his friend so adorable, even though he was fifteen years old. Gon could take the shittiest of days and turn it into a web of silver linings. Even though the teen had no Nen, he fought and laughed just like the rest of the bunch, and he was still considered a formidable Hunter.
But sometimes, it was just too much. Like a month ago, when he’d caught up with Gon after a while and the two talked about their holiday plans.
“I just can’t wait to see what Santa brings me this year!”
They’d been at the beach and Killua’s shock had nearly electrocuted the entire ocean. “Wait, what?”
“Santa!” Gon had exclaimed. “You know? Jolly old man in a red sleigh? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer? And Olive that other reindeer that wasn’t exactly a reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman, and…”
“Wait stop you…you believe in all those things?” Killua had said, patting down his spark-fringed hair.
Gon had pouted. “Don’t be such a killjoy, Killua,” he’d huffed. “I believed in Nen when I didn’t see it! Who says I can’t believe in the spirit of Christmas?”
And that was what led them here, at Pariston’s annual holiday gathering. With the oncoming Dark Continent voyage looming over their heads, the Rat had decided that he’d host the Christmas Party in his humble 23-million-dollar winter home. Killua had enjoyed the way Gon had reached up to his neck and patted down the white-collar fluff of his red suit. Killua had not enjoyed the way Pariston had left authentic milk and cookies for the imaginary Santa person.
Kurapika dipped his finger into his cup and tasted it. Immediately, he whacked Leorio’s cup into the trash.
“Wha-!” Leorio cried.
“It’s spiked,” Kurapika said simply. At Killua’s raised eyebrow, he added, “with something more potent than regular alcohol. I’m sure someone’s going to need a doctor sometime during the night, so we should at least have a sober one.” Leorio’s annoyance faded into a smug little grin. He’d just passed his boards and was now a licensed physician, ready to practice. Killua rolled his eyes at them. He hadn’t been surprised in the least when Kurapika had rounded them all up to announce that he and Leorio were going to move in together. Gon had been floored, but soon after he’d been zooming off walls.
“It’s a Christmas miracle!” he’d cheered. It had been a fine July day when they’d announced it.
Killua caught Alluka and beckoned her over. “Apparently, the eggnog is spiked. Don’t drink it.”
“Well, duh,” Alluka huffed, rolling her eyes. “Who do you think spiked it?” She pointed to her head, and Killua pressed his fingers to his temple.
“Nanika,” he growled. “You can really hurt people when you do that.”
“Kill~u~a,” Nanika sang, “I just wanted to make sure that everyone was honest and kind in this party. Or else Santa won’t come!”
And, of course, since Gon had the ears of a bat, he wandered over with his empty jug of eggnog and slurred, “Santaaa? Y’know, I’ve been a -hic- good boy all this timeee…”
“Gon!” Killua chastised. “Ugh, why do you always chug things so quickly? You need to use your Gyo to see the…um…” Killua stopped himself. Despite his cheery demeanor, Gon was still sensitive about his lack of Nen. Killua knew that it must be debilitating for him, like becoming blind.
Luckily for him, Gon didn’t seem to hear a word he’d said. “Kiiiilluaaaaa, this egg-knock tastes sooooo goooood…”
“I’m sure it does,” Killua grumbled. “Let’s get to bed.”
“Ooooh,” Nanika and/or Alluka crooned.
Killua didn’t have enough energy to tell them to shut up, but he did manage a sour look at Leorio and Kurapika when they gave him knowing smirks.
“Don’t do anything your mother wouldn’t allow!” Kurapika called after him.
“You mean you?” Killua shot back.
Kurapika sputtered, but Leorio sang a very loud “Yes!”
It didn’t really matter to Killua if all the party-goers ended up intoxicated. Even now, he could see his sisters making another round to the fudge carriage and dusting the chocolate with a fine powder of…something. But Gon’s soft snores were fluffing up his hair and his arms periodically tightened around his shoulders. It simultaneously drove Killua wild and filled him with exhaustion.
After all, how does a romance with someone like Gon even work? Gon’s entire existence revolved around living in the moment; no one could predict his actions until they already happened. Killua remembered his stone-cold face, staring directly at Pitou with an unforgiving menace. That had been Gon, a version of him Killua only knew slightly. But he’d been broken, brought down by his one true weakness: his friends.
A sudden hitch in Gon’s breath made Killua’s heart leap.
“Yer sparking me,” Gon slurred, nuzzling Killua’s neck. “Stop it.”
“Gon?”
“Mm.”
“Are you awake?” Killua whispered quietly. Gon gave a small contemplative hum.
“I wasn’t, but then you started running a current and your hair’s on end,” Gon yawned. His thumb accidently swiped Killua’s collarbone and it nearly made Killua lurch on the stairs. “What’s up?”
He adjusted himself on Killua’s back and Killua smiled faintly. “Nothing. Just wondering how you could possibly believe in Santa when you’re already fifteen.”
“I guess your parents never bothered to lie to you, huh?” Gon murmured. Killua wasn’t sure if he was awake or asleep. Gon had absolutely no Nen, even less than even normal, non-Nen users had. But…wait, what was it that he’d said?
“Lie to me?” Killua asked incredulously. “Wait, so you admit that Santa’s a lie?”
“I never said that,” Gon said. “Mito-san still thinks I believe in him to this day.”
“But…huh?” Killua spluttered. Gon wasn’t making any sense.
“I mean,” Gon huffed. “I know that she was lying to me, but I don’t think Santa’s a lie.”
Killua silently climbed up the stairs, contemplating this. He nodded his head.
“I see,” he sighed. “You believe in the spirit of Christmas, the idea that Santa is the merry and happy feeling that surrounds the holidays.”
“Hm, kinda.” Killua could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s easy to believe in him when you’ve seen him.”
At this, Killua gave a sharp sigh. They’d reached the end of the stairs, and just like that, he’d reached the end of his limit.
“Okay, you’re talking in circles,” he snapped. “Go to sleep. You can explain all this in the morning when you’re a little more rational.”
“Wait, Killua-”
Killua turned around and sat on the bed. “Come on Gon, get off so I can get back to the party.”
But Gon was petulant, and he tightened his thighs around Killua’s hips, and his arms around Killua’s neck. “You’re just gonna leave.”
“I mean, I did just say that,” Killua huffed. “I-”
“I believe in Santa, Killua, because he’s wearing a red suit and has white fluffy hair. And he’s right in front of me,” Gon said crossly. “Er, well, I’m around him actually.”
Killua jerked his head back and it collided efficiently into Gon’s forehead. His friend yelped and fell back into bed in pain.
“Ow! Why?” Gon shouted.
“I’m not fucking Santa Claus, you idiot,” Killua said simply, folding his arms. “Alluka and Nanika just gave you too much spiked eggnog. You need to get some sleep.”
“Well you’re my Santa Claus,” Gon challenged.
“I’m not anyone’s Sa-”
“When I’m down, when I’m just about to lose it, I think of you,” Gon said. His eyebrows met his eyes and he stared at Killua defiantly, daring him to argue. “It’s been hard, you know. No more searching for Ging, no more Nen, no more having you by my side…” He sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame Alluka and Nanika at all, but…”
Killua didn’t know what to say. He shifted over and sat down beside Gon, just waiting. The bed was comfortable, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Gon was just blurting out all of this because he was tired…
“When I saw you again, do you remember how it started to snow?” Gon asked.
It was impossible to forget. Killua could still see how Gon’s face had lit up when he saw Alluka’s hair. He’d immediately run over and greeted her. According to Gon, Killua’s hair had “camouflaged” him in the snow.
According to Alluka, Gon had been hiding tears and had waited for the snow to fall so Killua wouldn’t notice them.
Killua remembered that it had been an accident that they’d met. He and Alluka had left Roho town decked in red, as per the customs of the town. Nanika had been asleep at that point. They’d been ready to set up camp when they saw Gon, wandering listlessly in the snow.
It had taken several cries from Alluka to break him from his gaze. To this day, Killua had no idea what Gon had been doing there. Gon, it seemed, didn’t remember anything.
“I saw you and…I feel like I’d never missed anyone more in my entire life,” Gon whispered. “You were wearing that red outfit, and holding that black sack of stuff.” The town had given them a lot of gifts because they’d saved them from a monster, Killua recalled. “Alluka’s hair was frizzled and she looked like a reindeer. Her nose was even red!” Gon chuckled and Killua cracked a smile.
“I guess, even though it was January and not December, it felt a lot like Christmas to me,” Gon confessed. He turned over so that his back was to Killua. “I really didn’t know what I was feeling. It was a lot.”
“Me too,” Killua agreed. His breath came out in one long, drawn out whoosh. “I guess I didn’t really get how long it’d been until I saw you again.”
“Mhm.”
It was quiet between them. Killua kept watching Gon’s back, wishing now more than ever that he could just read Gon’s Nen and find out what he was feeling. But Gon’s breathing started to even. Killua looked at the clock and realized that it was 15 minutes to midnight.
“Sleep tight, Gon,” he sighed. Gon didn’t stir. He stood up and straightened his friend’s position, tucking the covers up to his chin. “So I’m your Santa, huh?”
“Always.”
Gon’s face was blissful, and a light dust of pink indicated that he was just warm enough to sleep comfortably. His pink lips opened again. “I don’t know what I feel when I’m around you. But it’s good. And I wanna feel it more.”
By this time, Killua’s face was red. He gulped and turned away.
“W-well,” he mumbled. “I’m not gonna vanish if you stay awake after midnight, so don’t worry about all the traditional stuff.”
“Mhm.”
“And…I guess we can arrange to meet more often.”
“Mm.”
“And, um, Gon. I just wanted – I mean…” Killua said slowly. But Gon was out like a light. His hand dangled on the floor and his snores started sounding up the room. Killua smiled fondly. That warm feeling in his chest didn’t leave.
“I’ll be your Santa,” he affirmed. “As long as you need. Maybe even when you don’t need me anymore. I’m not gonna let you off that easily.” He shut off the lights and sighed, turning back to the figure on the bed. “Sweet dreams, you idiot.”
He swore he heard sounds on the roof that night. Maybe even a hearty chuckle from a certain amused old man.
Could’ve been his grandfather, though.