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"Cause you just never had the heart, and now they just drift further apart."
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Ever since you joined the cleaners HQ, you received all sorts of welcome, Enjin seemed to already treat you like one of his own kids, Riyo sharing all the hairstyle techniques, Rudo and you may not speak much to each other, but fortunately both of you found interest in trinkets, everyone but Zanka.
Why? Zanka even act more relaxed around Rudo, compared to how he is with you. Maybe it's just because the two of you haven't talked much, plus you are not new here either, you took the title cleaner/giver loud and proud for two years now, thanks to a masked man saving you from breaking your neck when you were thrown into the pit.
The day of celebration, even though it's well after Enjin's birthday, clanks of cups and classes smashed together, fork and knife hitting the plate as everyone enjoyed the feast, since it's not everyday everyone can eat that much food.
You couldn't hear the loud noises screaming beside your ears, your eyes were glued onto Zanka, his back, more like it.
How his uniform made the outlines of his body seemed so lean, combined with the baggier pants, you always prayed that he would be your trainee, instead it was Enjin.
Of course, he wouldn't notice you, how his nose always seemed to stick so high up whenever the two of you passed each other, you could never beat him, even your vital instrument wasn't any worse than his. Bruises were formed your arms from the impact of his Lovely Assistaff.
...More like Ass staff.
You wished you could say these words right in his face, you couldn't, not with everyone's gaze staring through your skull if their ears ever hear these words. It shouldn't be difficult to shove the staff up his ass, how smug he looked even without a smile on that damn face.
Pushing the drink back after Riyo offered you beer, you narrowed your eyes as you assessed his frame, how easy it was for him to gulp down that glass of beer, no worries of failing in front of others.
No worries of failing and being mocked by him.
Without pulling his earrings down with his ears, your shoulder brushed against his when you asked for an exchange of water instead of beer, a pair of navy blue eyes noticed you.
No words.
Great, having to share the same room with this man after the excuse from Semiu about how Amo needed a room, part of you are sure that they could easily dig another hole and place a bed inside, perhaps from all the complains you spilled out right in Semiu's face, a raise of her eyebrow and she just knew there is something going on between two people.
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Zanka can't get you off his brain, he believed the rumbling noise of people and cold beer would clear his mind, instead it didn't. For him, you gave off a different feeling than the girl back at Hells Guard who crushed his future. If you wanted to be cold, you are cold, if you wanted to be teasing, you pushed every one of his buttons perfectly without slipping your finger, whenever he is within your reach. If you wanted to be lovely-
Well, would you look at that.
The bones in his hand cracked when he tightened his fingers around the cup handle, he inhaled the musty air, breathed out from his lungs, in case anyone would see his face and shout jealous. Spitting on him without directly doing it disgusted him out.
He glanced your way once or twice, every time managed to meet your gaze, he looked away.
The burning feeling crept up on his ears.
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The way Zanka spoke about the girl who beaten him to the lowest point of his life stirred almost jealousy in your heart, intrusive thoughts such as what if he wanted to visit her in the future popped up in your mind, you shooed it away.
You messed up, your feelings that was tight in your chest for so long bursted out like fireworks, instead of confessing, you yelled at him, you yelled at why he is being such an ass, does he like that girl, and worst; does he like you?
Silence, there was no emotion in his eyes, before a scoff deep from his chest escaped.
"Pushing your tiredness to it's limit is probably the least smart thing you would do," He glanced at you, "you could barely keep your footing."
Covering your ears with your hands, your teeth grinding together in embarrassment, while his ears looked like they were about to bleed. Pathetic.
Without waiting for permission, you heard his boots hitting the floor, closer each second, before lifting you off your feet. He carried you back toward your room as if you weighed nothing at all, his footsteps quicker than usual. His heartbeat was a drum being hit too many times, against your ear, betraying the calm demeanour he trained for years.
"If you wanna say somethin', don't always stay so silent" he muttered against the top of your head as he pressed the handle down with his elbow, kicking it shut behind you with his heel. "I'd rather have your nonsense than that silence."
He didn't set you down immediately. He held you there, his calloused fingertips and hand pressed into your back as if it belonged there, moving in small circles that created a bubbly warmth inside you.
When he scanned around your room, you bit your lip, preparing his judgement, but that wasn't it. Zanka's voice can go so deep that isn't the type to give you goosebumps, it was soothing, the type you wanted to hear to tell you a bedtime story.
"You're staying here tonight. And tomorrow. And probably every night after that. Get used to it."
You swear you saw his muscles moved, just slightly, perhaps a smile.