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"I'm sorry but she deserved it, she had to know. Actually I'm not sorry", Ramona tried to explain herself and miserably failed.
"Ramona hush zip it!"
"Wow that was so brit-"
"Ramona I swear!"
Okay maybe she had fucked up and overstepped.
Meanwhile Oona was pacing in front of her. Hey, listen could she really blame her? She was just trying to defend the honour of the woman of her life, was it wrong? She didn't think so. Sadly the said woman didn't appear to agree and had gathered herself enough to start stalking.
"No she didn't need to know because she'll never come back again if it's not easy! I-", she sighed, frustrated, "I missed her and yes I'm angry yes I know she doesn't deserve to come back like nothing happened, but I can't help it okay? She's my mum Ramona and I- I don't know what to do and how to act. I just want to enjoy it a bit longer and not ruin anything for Maple. So please let's just act as if everything is okay. I need it and I need you, my girlfriend, here for me"
"Okay, okay I'll do it, I'll be there for you. But don't expect me to play nice", she answered as she stepped forward opening her arms.
"Thank you", Oona quickly hugged her, any lingering anger forgotten.
"I love you"
"I love you too..." Ramona mumbled something intelligible before speaking louder "let's get back before she corrupts Maple"
The blonde quietly laughed, "as if she could, I've never been able to do it"
They walked back, hands laced. They were only a few meter away and quickly faced the door. Oona was about to open it when she felt a pressure on her hand. She turned back and their eyes locked, communicating without speaking. Support, understanding, care, love. She pressed back before taking a big breath and going in.
She didn't know this little fight would be the last one of her problem.
She was lounging on the sofa on the dock of the boat. Her mum had been here for days now, each one making her dread the inevitable. The air was fresh, stars starting to show in the sky and moon hiding low.
"Oona we need to talk", her mom appeared, blocking her view and taking her join from her hand.
"Hey I wasn't done with it! What's going on?", she furrowed her eyebrows anxiety gnawing at her.
"Me and Maple talked we-", she was cut straight.
"No.", she sat up. She knew — or rather feared — where this was going.
"Come on listen to me Oona I think it-"
"No! No fucking way no we are not doing that", she could feel the blood leaving her face. She wanted to throw up.
"It's her choice! She wants to come with me and she'll be homeschooled so still learning and we'll explore the world"
"You can't do this! You can't take her away! She needs stability she has her friends here, she has her home.. She has me!"
"Sweetheart... You are a good sister but think about it, it's what she wants you need to be happy for her"
Oona was standing now, heart pounding in her chest, tears started to swell in her eyes and her breath was shallow. She couldn't cry in front of her.
"It's not! You've been putting things in her head, empty promises. You know what she really needs? What I really need? A bloody mum! One who's here for Christmas, birthdays, summer camp show! Where have you been these two past years? Not here! I've been here! I did all these things you were supposed to do. You can't come and take her away from me! From our home!"
"Oona..", her mom smiled condescendingly — it made her sick — she was acting like it was a futile tantrum over a vulgar toy, "the tickets are already booked. We're leaving in three days, it's for the best."
"No! No no no you can't do that", she was shaking now, "how could y-"
She bolted away, running, tears freely falling down her cheeks. She ran for what felt like hours before founding her way to Gordon's cabin, hands erratically knocking on the door.
"What could possibly b-", Ramona answered head down book in hands before looking up at Oona and realising her state, "Wow Oona what's going on?"
"I- She-", she tried to speak but words were stuck in her throat preventing air from reaching her lungs.
"Shit- Okay come in, breathe please you look like you're about to throw up", Ramona pulled her inside on the couch and put her book on the table.
"Come on I need you to breathe for me", she took her hands to put it on her chest, "in and out, follow my breathing you're doing great baby"
After a couple of minutes and more sweet talk by Ramona, her breathing finally slowed down, a few tears escaping her eyes. She rubbed them away.
"Oona what happened? Is it your mom?"
She nodded, still not able to make out any words, not wanting to make it real by saying them out loud.
"Please tell me I'm here, I'm not leaving I'm here. Talk to me" Ramona was pleading now.
She shook her head, noticing Annie coming down the stairs, probably alerted by the commotion she created.
She finally found the strength to speak. "She's- it's Maple- she's taking her", she burst into tears right away. Ugly, raw and loud sobs coming out, swallowed down by Ramona engulfing her in a hug. As much as she wanted to she couldn't stop crying, each cries louder than the last.
"It's okay, it's going to be okay", she softly stroked her head, "please breathe for me"
Ramona looked at Annie with worried eyes.
"She can't do it, I mean- Maple's home is here that's totally crazy", Annie complained.
"I- I told her. She wouldn't listen. They are leaving in two days", another fit of sobs came into her. She forced herself to continue, "I don't know what I'll do Ramona, I can't- I'm not strong enough"
"Yes you are you have u-"
"No! I-" Oona moved away from her embrace and rose to her feet — she really wanted to throw up right now.
"Oona.."
"No I- I can't Ramona she's my sister! My little baby sister! Everything I ever did I did it for her, what will I do", tears were back again, her voice strangled. "Was I not good enough? Where did I went wrong for her to leave. I can't Ramona I can't", she shook her head while pulling her roots.
Ramona stood up and took her hands away from her hair. She had never seen Oona like this, not even after their breakup. She didn't seem to calm down and she was pretty sure she could throw up at any moment because of how pale she was.
"You need to calm down okay? I know it's scary I know you're terrified but you need to breath and calm down because you're fucking scaring me right now", she said while placing her hands on her cheeks.
"First we need to talk to Maple", Annie chimed in.
Oona nodded, adrenaline slowly easing out of her body. She was exhausted and let herself being pulled away from the living room. They silently reached the stairs guiding to their bed. Ramona tucked her in, under her chin and head on her chest.
"It's going to be okay you know that right? We will find a solution"
Oona hummed, too tired and defeated to answer. She felt Ramona kissing her hair before falling asleep.
She woke up alone. The bed was cold despite the cover perfectly placed on her. She felt awful, like a thousand trucks had just ran over her. She looked at the rays of sunshine coming from a gap between the curtains, zoning out. It was probably late, she felt tired and restless at the same time. She decided to go toward the hushed voices she could hear coming from the kitchen.
"-find a way to make her stay"
"Maybe it's not what she wants"
"Who cares about what she wants she's a kid Annie! Did you see how Oona reacted? I'm not letting her go I don't care if she ends up hating me, they both need each other, we need her she's our family too. You weren't here but we went to every summer camp show, every class representation, every birthdays. She can't leave"
"It's her mom Ramona we both kn-"
"Screw her mom! She don't deserve the name at least ours didn't choose to leave th-", Oona was standing behind her now, in the middle of the living room.
"Ramona"
"She's behind me isn't she", Ramona didn't dare move.
"She is and you can stop referring to her like she's not here", Oona answered.
She turned back, an apologetic smile on her face, "I made tea", she let out.
Oona walked to pick her mug, kissing her cheek as she moved past. She sat silently in one of the chair ignoring the look the sisters were sharing.
"I'm not going to throw up or pass out from lack of air, or cry — I already cried enough for a decade I hate it — you can go back to talking about it", she said staring at the mug in her hands.
"We need a plan to convince Maple to stay", Ramona blurted out.
"Ramona!"
"What? It's true we're not gonna sit here and wait!"
Oona finally looked up, smiling sadly. "It's exactly what we're gonna do"
"What no Oona!"
"My mum is right Ramona, it's her choice and I need to accept it"
"No! We can change her mind, remind her how much she loves it here"
"I don't want to make her feel bad love, it's fine I'll deal with it. I just want to enjoy the last days with my sister please", she was resigned, her voice small.
Ramona felt her heart ache but nodded, "Okay, we'll plan something big and cool". She walked to the blonde, kissing her temple before softly adding "I love you"
Oona melted into her embrace, "thank you, I love you too"
The sun was high in the sky, the summer breeze lightly blowing her hair, the cottage remained silent and she felt her heart break. Spring was coming to an end and it was supposed to be the perfect summer, her one year with Ramona, cliff jumping, Maple last summer camp, their little group spending every second together. So much for perfection.
She was sitting on the windowsill, looking at the forest, zoning out. She didn't hear the front door opening downstairs nor the little voice speaking with Annie. She jumped when the bedroom door slammed into the wall.
"Oona! I was worried you didn't tell me you were sleeping at Ramona's", Maple cried out.
"Oh hey I'm sorry it wasn't like… planned you know?", she tried to compose herself and hide her emotions. But her sister being her sister saw right through her in a heartbeat.
"Are you okay? Did something happen?"
"What? Yes of course I'm okay, come on I heard Annie and 'Mona prepare a full schedule for the next two days and it start this afternoon"
"Oh really? Wh-", she didn't had the time to ask before being ushered outside.
They spent the entire afternoon in the lake, taking the boat, swimming and fooling around. They did a sleepover at the cottage, building a fort with blankets and watching a movie with a projector Ramona brought from New York. Everything was going smoothly until lunch the next day.
They were all sat at the cafe. Oona was eating her beaver tail listening to Maple rent about last night movie. She was not happy but the pain had shrunk from consuming her entirely to a little weight in her stomach. She was thinking about the best place to cliff jump when the conversation was cut short.
"I'm really going to miss this", Maple suddenly let out.
Everyone went silent. Oona's head snapped to the side, a short gasp escaping her. Her ears started ringing and she heard herself mumbling something about the bathroom before standing up and fleeing. She didn't hear Ellis questioning Maple or Ramona coming after her, she needed air.
She used the back door to escape, finding her way to the alley behind the shop. She sat on the ground, head in her knees, trying to keep her breath steady. She was stuck in her head and didn't hear Ramona sitting next to her but she felt their shoulders colliding.
"I'm okay I just needed air, I'm okay"
"I know"
Ramona gave her space while she tried to remain calm, a comfortable silence settling in.
"She didn't mean it like that"
"You don't know"
Ramona took her chin and pushed it up, forcing Oona to meet her eyes.
"Actually I do, because Ellis asked her when you left. She's just thinking about next year when some of us will go to college"
"Yeah meanwhile she will be god's know where in the world with my nutter of a mum"
"Oona.."
"I know, I know, I need to calm down", she sighed feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"Well, yes but I also think you should talk to Maple"
"No, we already talked about it"
"I know, I'm not telling you to try and make her stay I'm asking you to speak to her about how she's feeling and make sure she knows you're here for her"
"I'm always here for her!"
"I know, but you need to remind her before she leaves"
They didn't notice a small form heading their way and freezing only a few meters away.
"Who's leaving?", Maple voice was weak, full of worry.
"Shit- Maple what are you doing here", Oona suddenly rose from the floor.
"Answer me who's leaving"
"I- What do you mean who's leaving, you're the one leaving"
Both sisters looked at each other confused. Ramona kept glancing between the two of them.
"I don't understand"
"That's not funny Maple", Oona could feel her voice getting wobbly.
"I'm not being funny I'm lost!"
"Maple your mom told Oona you were leaving with her in a few days", Ramona finally interjected feeling the frustration coming from both girls.
"What? I'm not- I- She never told me! Why didn't you tell me!", she asked her older sister.
"Well sorry I didn't know that you didn't know!"
"You should've talked about it"
"I was busier crying my guts out!"
"Oh-"
"Shit I didn't mean it like that Maple it's not-", she rubbed her face pinching her nose, "I wanted to respect your choice and what made you happy, no matter what"
"Well I don't want to leave!"
"What- you can't take the decision right now you need to think about it"
"Do you want me to leave?"
"Of course not but it's not about me!"
"Yes it is! You're my sister I don't want to leave you alone like mum did"
"You're not leaving me alone if I'm fine with it"
"I don't care I'm not leaving-"
"Maple come on you can't-"
"Let me speak! Yes i can and I-"
"No you let me speak it's no-"
"STOP! Can everyone calm down for one second and have a normal conversation without interrupting each other every two words", Ramona finally shouted, done with the fight.
They both looked at her sheepishly and nodded.
"Amazing! Now we are going to talk with the main person in this story which is your mom" she cut Oona before she could interrupt, "and we are doing it now, calmly and without screaming"
She looked between her sister and her girlfriend, knowing to not push her luck.
Oona stormed inside the boat, her mom was reading on the sofa.
"Oona what a-"
"You lied", she ordered face cold.
"What are you talking about?"
"You lied about Maple! She didn't know you wanted to take her"
"Sweetheart"
"No! Don't sweetheart me! You can't force her, she wants to stay and she will"
"You can't decide that, she-", she was cut by the door opening and Maple and Ramona emerging.
"I don't want to leave Sterling Point mum"
"Maple my love I thought you wanted us to be together. Oona is going to go to college and I didn't want you to stay alone"
"She's not alone", Ramona chimed in. The girls mom looked at her, frowning. Oona noticed and talked before she could say something.
" She would not be alone, I will come back every week-ends and if I'm not here she can still stay at the cottage or at Ellis"
"It's not a life for a 14 years old Oona"
"Going around the world with a new spiritual mum isn't either"
"I don't want to leave mum!", Maple shouted.
"See", she protectively placed her hand on her little sister shoulder, "she wants to stay, we have a whole plan ready because we didn't expect you to come back. It's either us or another one of your man asking you to go with him"
"I-", their mother looked between each of them, sadness written on her face.
"Please mum", Maple pleaded.
Oona's heart broke a bit more hearing her beg, knowing the direction the conversation was taking. She had never chosen them before and was not going to start now. She locked eyes with her mum waiting for her answer, the woman diverted hers. Her choice had been made.
"I'm sorry girls"
"No mum please!"
She couldn't speak, no words coming out. She felt her go pass her to retrieve her things, felt Maple hiding in her side, but she was frozen. She didn't hear the door close nor Ramona trying to comfort them.
She was brought back to reality by her sister moving away from her. She immediately dropped at her height and hugged her — harder than she ever hugged her before — letting her cry in her shoulder.
"I'm going to get her a boat to go back to the mainland", Ramona said.
She absently nodded, too worried about the girl crying in her arms.
Ramona took one last look at the sisters and left. Angry was an understatement to describe what she was feeling, their own mother officially abandoning them, not even asking Oona to go with her and Maple. She knew the blonde would have another meltdown later, when she was not busy worrying over her little sister and she would be there for it, for her, unlike their mom.
She finally spotted the woman — Isa or was it Eva she didn't remember and didn't care to be honest — standing on the dock with her suitcase, looking at the boats.
"I can drive you to the mainland", she said.
"Oh, thank you Ramona that's very nice of you"
"Yeah well I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for them", she jumped in the little boat parked at the end of the row, she knew Ellis always let one of them with the keys on just incase. She didn't bother helping her with her luggage.
The drive was silent. She looked in front of her, not offering any possibility for a conversation, but it didn't stopped Eva — she thought it was Eva — after a little while she broke the silence.
"I know you probably don't understand my choice but-"
"You're right I don't. I also don't want to hear it", she cut the woman.
They finally reached the port. She turned off the boat and finally looked at her, staying in while she unloaded.
"My mom is dead"
"Ramona.."
"No. Let me speak. My mom is dead. She never had a chance to know me, I've never had a chance to know her, because she is gone. But there was one thing I always knew and it was how much she loved me and would've given everything to stay. You're a terrible mom"
"You can't say that"
"Do you know how bad is it to grow up with a dead mum? It's terrible. Do you know how bad is it to live with a mum that's alive and well but never here? Even worse. My mother didn't choose to abandon me, but you did. You chose to leave them here, to not come back for Christmas, birthdays and a ton of other events. I was here for them, we were, trying to act like a family to make it hurt less, to try and make them forget about their real family, their mom, who didn't want to be here. Do you know how hard Oona worked? To raise a kid when she was just a teenager, to bring money home while you were busy traveling around. She stepped up, she suffered but she never once said she hated you, because you're her mom. I hate you. I hate that you stole her childhood, that you forced her to grow up faster than she needed. I hate you because I was here for everything, the disappointment, the tears, the sleepless nights, the fear of not being enough for her sister", she finally breathed, she never told it to anyone and it felt so good to finally throw it in her face.
"I'm sorry"
"Being sorry is not enough, if you really were you would stay"
Eva didn't add anything. She looked at the teenager standing in front of her at lost for words.
"I'm sorry too, because you're missing on the two most amazing people I know. It really is your loss and I hope it eats you at night", she didn't let her answer and started the skiff right away. Leaving her standing on the platform, hopefully full of regrets.
When she quietly opened the door of the boat she found the two girls in bed. Maple sleeping —probably exhausted from all the crying — and Oona staring at the ceiling.
"Hey", the other girl turned her head.
"Did you speak to her?"
"I did"
"Good", she turned her head back.
"Do you want to talk about it?", Oona shook her head, a single tear escaping her eye. "It's okay, I'm here and I love you"
She climbed in the bed positioning herself on her side to look at the blonde. She started caressing her hair waiting for her to fall asleep.
"I love you too", she finally said, allowing herself to melt in Ramona's arms, slowly falling asleep.
They would be fine, nothing time couldn't heal. Ramona kissed both of their foreheads. She would forever stand by their side no matter what, and would make sure they both knew how loved and important they were.