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After the day at the shrine, Tanaka couldn't get his thoughts straight.
In times of stress, he always turned to the one place he knew well.
Club Escapade.
It's in the name; escapade. You're supposed to forget everything, escape reality even. But being in this reality where his...
Could you say daughter?
He couldn't live in a reality where his daughter was dead.
He never knew about fatherhood. never dreamed of it. What he dreamed of was a successful business. He never cared about love, not from the unforgiving world that surrounds him.
Grief is cruel, because death doesn't discriminate.
He didn't want to get drunk tonight, but he didn't have a choice. A silent need drove him to the edge.
He laughs at the irony. How Kotone, a girl who was so naive and curious about the world, was taken away from it. Even after the memories they made together. The soft sound elicited only melted into the constant rhythm in the place. He could barely hear himself. Is he going insane?
The memories were only... conversations, but he cherished every moment he was able to have with her. He wanted to see her achieve her dreams. Maybe become even more successful than him, even when greed clouds his vision, he learnt to be more considerate. That one thing he thought no one was going to get out of him.
But why did death have to take her so quickly?
She barely opened her eyes to the world before her.
Or maybe death was good, not subjecting her to the cruelty of the disturbed minds that lived in the earths wake.
She died on the rooftop. According to Mrs Ooshashi. The words have only echoed in his mind since that conversation by the shrine.
"On the rooftop... huh?" He mutters, his arms weak and shaking. He looks down at them with great shame, he never thought he was capable of feeling the knife that is death.
In death comes hollowness, but for the dead comes peace.
The phantom claw at his throat tears relentlessly. The frame of his body shakes as he uses his arms to pillow the heavy head.
His suit was wrinkled from a days work. Or more, from a days worth of stress. Every time he thinks about Kotone, suddenly the weight of the world presses onto his heart. It hurts. It hurts so much.
What were her moments before death like?
Was the weight of the world on her shoulders? Or was there nothing to worry about... not for any longer atleast.
He just hopes she was able to close her eyes and see peace.
The taste of alcohol, what was so strong, is starting to die out in his mouth. its only a distant taste in his saliva now, making him grimace.
No amout of alochol in hs bod can subdue the pain of loss. There were no signs. She was... always healthy. From what he could tell when he were tlaking to her, atleast.
Was he ignorant? No, thats one less thing to blame himself about.
They may have not known eachother for long, but it doesnt take away from how close he felt to her.
She was a new addition to his life. As much as Tanaka were to embrace the unfamiliar, she was different. Ignorance can be the death of some people.
Was it ignorance that killed her?
He couldn't help it. He thought he taught her well. Did he? It's not like he was always available to talk to or anything. But he tried his best.
His face starts to feel hot, then his body. Is it the alcohol?
No, it might just be misery.
"Sir?" comes a voice from behind him.
Sluggishly, Tanaka turns his head and straightens his back. He comes to bare his eyes onto the waiter.
"Ergh...What do you want?"
"Just checking in. Are you okay?"
Tanaka furrows his brow, slurring. "am I okay?"