Chapter Text
"O, Benvolio! She is thy bride-to-be! How soon does thee think I can ask for thy beautiful hand?"
"When you both turn eighteen."
"Ay, but that is too far away! I shall elope with her to a distant land where we shall be wed by the day's end!"
"Romeo, you're failing geography and history. You're not going anywhere until you get that D- up to a B at minimum."
"Ay, 'nd my bride shall help thee with that! For thou art a master at all those mortal topics, and I shan't mind waiting for thee at home while thy does whatever job peers down at thee from thy future!"
Benvolio sighed, looking up from the paperwork he was doing to stare at his cousin— watching his eyes sparkle and lips twitch upward with that familiar mischief he had before a prank.
"Romeo."
"Ay?"
"Please talk normally. I don't take theatre. I can't understand you when you get all... flowy like that."
Romeo's paused before shrugging, the grin not flickering. "That sounds like a problem for you. My Juliet loves it."
"She's not your anything." He corrected. "You're not dating— you're barely even talking."
“O, cuz! How could thou say something like that to thee?”
“Romeo.”
“...Sorry.”
“Thank you.” Benvolio turned to his cousin and finally decided to look at the piece of homework that Romeo had “forgotten” to do last week that got him trapped in detention in the first place.
He hadn’t even started it.
“Romeo!”
“Ay?”
“Do your work!”
“But Benvolio! I can’t focus! Not while the memory of her beautiful smile runs through thy head!”
“...What happened to Rosaline?”
Romeo froze. “Who?”
His cousin was an idiot.
“Rosaline? The… woman you were extremely depressed about last week because she said no to sex with you?”
"Oh. Her." Romeo sighed, finally picking up his pencil. "Alas, I was sad, but Juliet! She has graced my eyes and my heart so highly that I have forgotten her! I did not truly love Rosaline; I... admired her features."
Benvolio stared. Why. Why was he related to this failure of a man?
They sat in a rare quiet while Romeo did his work and Benvolio finished filling out paperwork.
Mercutio chose that moment to barge in.
"Oh Romeo!~"
"Mercutio!" Romeo was out of his seat and across the room in seconds. The two of them laughed together, Benvolio watching from his seat quietly.
"Oh, Benny-boo~"
"I told you not to call me that."
"Whatever." Mercutio rolled his eyes, turning back to Romeo. "I saw your girlfriend on my way here."
"You saw Juliet?! Tell thee, what didst thou say?"
"Mhm! She did tell thee something... very interesting." Mercutio was grinning that same stupid grin Romeo had, easily slipping into his way of speaking as part of their long-standing joke to piss off Benvolio. "Ay, but why should thou tell thee? What hast thou done for thee recently?"
"Uhh... thou hast done..."
I want to go home.
He knew what Mercutio was trying to do. Create this sense of debt for Romeo to get information, then have him go fight with one of the Capulet family members for drama to add to his social media pages. This happened often— especially whenever his views started dropping, or his fans started begging for more drama. Everyone at their high school followed his pages, as well as most of the people in the city— and a couple globally.
He was the reason for the whole headline across most of Benvolio's socials whenever he had the free time to check them.
Capulet VS Montague: The Battle Of A Lifetime— Is It Solely Just Hate, Or Something More?
Benvolio would've just let them do whatever stupid stunt they wanted to, then go and break it up later after he was ready to leave. But his aunt and uncle kept questioning him about what happened whenever Romeo returned home covered in bruises. They questioned him when Romeo snuck out for his "tutoring" lessons with Juliet. They always turned to Benvolio, and he wasn't in the mood to explain to everyone why.
And today was one of the few peaceful days Benvolio had had, with only one idiot in detention. If Mercutio hadn't skipped most of the school day, Tybalt Capulet— Juliet's cousin, the captain of the football team, and resident hothead— would've been in that seat towards the back of the detention room, head down with earbuds in. Benvolio had once tried to get him to take them out, but after getting a nasty black eye and being forced to see Tybalt every day for that week, looking up to see that permanent glare locked onto him— the one he only used when looking at members of the Montague family— Benvolio just... didn't ask again.
"The Capulets are having a party this weekend for the football team." He put all the papers away into their Minella folder, then dropped them into a drawer. He turned to the two of them, acknowledging Mercutio's betrayed look and Romeo's confused one. "Something about them getting to the quarterfinals? I just know it's because celebrating the small achievements makes the players more determined to win. And it's a couple of the players' last season before they graduate. Someone's bringing alcohol—"
"Me! I am!"
"—and everyone is invited." Benvolio narrowed his eyes at Mercutio. "How are you planning to get alcohol? You don't have an ID— or a fake."
"I was going to ask you to get it for us."
"...No."
"Please?!"
"Go ask like... anyone else. What about your cousin?"
Mercutio's cousin— Escalus— was the former Student Council President before he graduated three years ago. He had just turned 21 a couple of days ago, as far as Benvolio was concerned, seeing as how all week Mercutio was bragging about the party and spamming pictures online and to both Montague cousins.
"Hmm, good idea!" Mercutio's phone was in his hand faster than Benvolio could blink. Sometimes, Benvolio wondered why Mercutio didn't try in PE with how fast he could pull stuff out of nowhere.
Romeo was quiet for a couple of seconds before turning to his cousin, pondering. "You said everyone was invited, right? So... even us?"
"What do you think, Romeo? They hate your parents. Do you honestly think they're going to let us in?"
"I think..." He grinned, and Benvolio realized he had screwed up. "We're going to sneak in."