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The studio was still buzzing with laughter when the radio host turned his attention toward the youngest member of NCT WISH, Sakuya. Seated between Ryo and Riku, Sakuya had mostly kept quiet, only breaking his silence to join in the laughter that followed the older members’ antics. His hands were folded neatly in his lap, a habitual gesture of his that made him appear both reserved and composed. But when the host leaned forward with a mischievous grin, Sakuya sensed the storm brewing. He could already tell he was about to be put on the spot.
“Okay, Sakuya.”
Sakuya looked up at the host, his heart racing slightly.
“For the youngest member,” the host said, dragging out the suspense, “who are you closest to among the hyungs?”
The studio erupted into a chorus of teasing shouts.
“OOOOH!”
“Here we go!”
Ryo slapped the table, laughter spilling from him before Sakuya even had a chance to formulate an answer. Jaehee leaned in closely, a sparkle of expectation in his eyes, while Yushi animatedly pointed at himself as if the answer was obvious. Sion, arms crossed and a smug smile on his face, looked particularly entertained by the unfolding drama. Riku, seated next to Sakuya, merely raised his eyebrows, observing him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Sakuya stared blankly at the host, his mind racing to comprehend the question. Then, he glanced around the table at the six faces surrounding him.Ryo was beaming, Jaehee feigning offense, Yushi was dramatically crossing his arms, and Sion was laughing as if he already had a bet on this. And Riku… Riku was looking at him. Not saying a word. He just smiling. For a fleeting moment, Sakuya’s gaze lingered on Riku, warmth spreading through his chest before he quickly looked away, the host’s grin encouraging him to respond.
“Ah…”
His mouth opened, but no words formed.
“…”
The host patiently waited, a playful glint in his eyes. Sakuya blinked, a rush of anxiety creeping in.
“Ah…”
He glanced toward Ryo again. Ryo promptly formed a heart shape with his hands, eliciting another round of laughter. Sakuya chuckled, covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle his amusement. His eyes danced around the room, landing briefly on Yushi.
“Me?” Yushi exclaimed, his expression earnest and hopeful.
Sakuya laughed again, shaking his head.
Jaehee suddenly leaned into the microphone, declaring with mock seriousness, “Obviously me.”
“Why are you answering for him?” Sion shot back, his laughter echoing through the studio.
“Because I'm confident,” Jaehee retorted, shrugging nonchalantly.
“You shouldn't be,” Ryo chimed in, causing another uproar of smiles and cheers from the group.
The members began to bicker, each trying to make their case for being Sakuya's favorite.
“I’m the oldest!” Sion argued, puffing out his chest proudly.
“That doesn’t mean he’s closest to you,” Yushi countered, a mischievous grin dancing on his lips.
“But I take care of everyone,” Sion replied, his tone teasing.
“You also prank everyone,” Jaehee noted.
Sakuya watched as the light-hearted argument continued, his shoulders shaking with laughter at the playful chaos.
“So? Who is it?” the host prompted again, bringing Sakuya back to the moment.
His heart raced again, caught in the whirlwind of his members' laughter and camaraderie. “Ahhh…”
Sakuya felt overwhelmed by the affectionate chaos surrounding him, yet he really did care for each member in their unique way.
“Yes,” he finally admitted, “I love all of them equally.”
“That’s a safe answer!” the host replied, feigning disappointment.
“Too safe!” Ryo echoed, nudging Sakuya playfully.
“Maknae is escaping!” Yushi laughed, mimicking a dramatic fleeing motion.
“Don’t let him escape!” Sion shouted, pretending to reach out in a futile attempt to grab Sakuya.
Sakuya laughed harder, trying to stifle his embarrassment as he hid behind his hands. The host eventually raised his hands, signaling to the group to settle.
“Okay, okay! We won’t force you,” he reassured with a smile.
As the laughter subsided, the host turned back to Sakuya with a warm expression. “And I think this is actually very Sakuya. He can’t even choose one person because he cares about all five hyungs in his own way.”
The members quieted, taking in the sentiment. Sion flashed a proud smile. Yushi gave an encouraging nod. Ryo leaned against Sakuya, their shoulders brushing together in a friendly gesture. Jaehee offered him a small, heartening smile. Even Riku’s expression softened, filled with warmth of understanding.
“So,” the host concluded, glancing around the group, “this is what love looks like from our maknae. He can’t even answer who he loves the most.”
Everyone laughed again, and Sakuya found himself lowering his head, smiling shyly as the praise washed over him. After some time, the recording finally came to an end.
“Thank you for joining us today!” the host announced, and the six members bowed toward the cameras and microphones, each offering playful waves as they exited the studio.
As they stepped into the night air, a cool breeze welcomed them. Their manager was already waiting by the van, ready to whisk them away. The members climbed in one by one, tired but filled with the infectious energy left over from their broadcast. Sion took the front seat with authority. Jaehee settled behind him, stretching his arms. Ryo and Yushi plopped down in the middle row, immediately diving into a quiet argument over who had made the funnier jokes during the recording. Sakuya took his usual spot near the back. Moments later, Riku followed, sliding next to him, the door shutting behind them as the van began to pull away from the station. For a while, Sakuya gazed out the window, watching the city lights blur into streaks of yellow and white. The conversations around him faded into a comforting background noise as his thoughts lingered on the question from earlier.
Who are you closest to?
He rested his cheek against the glass.
Who do I love the most?
That question felt infinitely more complicated. If he were to answer based solely on the company’s arrangements, he would have to say Ryo. Their pairing was frequent: dancing, scheduling, laughing together. Sakuya genuinely loved Ryo for the comfort he provided—the way their silences were never awkward, turning mundane moments into precious memories filled with teasing, shared food, and laughter. Ryo wasn’t just a hyung to him; he felt more like a friend, or sometimes, a younger brother. There were times when Ryo's enthusiasm was infectious, making Sakuya grin at his charming innocence. He was undeniably cute, in his own spirited way.
Ryo… I love Ryo. But that wasn’t the complete answer he was searching for. Not for this question.
His thoughts flowed to Jaehee. Their dynamic was lighthearted, filled with discussions and shared laughter, but there was always a sense of distance—a mature aura surrounding Jaehee that made Sakuya regard him with respect. I love Jaehee too. But that love felt different.
Then, his thoughts turned to Sion, the leader who perfectly balanced authority with humor. Sion had a knack for lifting everyone's spirits, reminding them they wouldn’t be lost as long as he was around. I love Sion for that. But it wasn’t the answer to the question.
Next was Yushi, another close bond that was likened to brotherly affection. They were often likened to twins by fans, their shared enthusiasm drawing them closer. I love Yushi… Yet still, that wasn't what the question sought.
His gaze shifted to Riku, who had settled beside him, absentmindedly gazing outside.
Riku…Sakuya paused, his heart fluttering slightly. Riku had entered the trainee system at the same time as Sakuya, journeying through trials together. Riku had supported Sakuya through every moment of uncertainty, offering guidance without hesitation. When choreography felt impossible, Riku’s presence became a beacon, illuminating the path forward.
Riku is like a compass in my life. But as the thought washed over him, another realization emerged.
Do I love Riku? What kind of love is that? His eyes settled on Riku, who had gracefully drifted into a light sleep, his head resting against the van’s window. Sakuya didn’t realize how long he had been watching until Riku shifted slightly, leaning against him.
“Sakuchann…” His voice was soft and filled with the remnants of sleep, sending a jolt through Sakuya’s chest.
“Let hyung rest a bit…”
Riku’s words were nearly a whisper, the invitation enough for Sakuya to freeze. He swallowed hard, heart racing.
“Okay,” he managed to say, his voice quieter than he'd intended.
He didn’t dare move, basking in the warmth radiating from Riku, their shoulders snugly touching. Sakuya found himself enamored with the moment, the soothing rhythm of Riku's gentle breathing calming his racing heart. Riku was naturally affectionate, spreading his warmth through gentle, playful touches. But with Sakuya, things were different.
Why does it feel different when Riku does it? The question echoed in his mind, sending a shiver of confusion through him. Perhaps he already knew the answer but was too afraid to confront it. Sakuya leaned his head against the seat, Riku blissfully sleeping beside him. The other members continued their conversations, the van gliding through the quiet streets of Seoul. His mind wandered again to the host's question: Who do I love the most?
Ultimately, he had five answers: Sion, Riku, Yushi, Jaehee, and Ryo. He adored each one differently. But only one of them had the power to make his heart flutter simply by resting their weight against him. Sakuya looked down one more time, watching Riku shift lightly in his dreams, a tranquil smile on his face.
“Sakuchann…” The soft mumble stoked a warmth in Sakuya, and he smiled wider, feeling a sense of belonging.
Maybe…
Maybe it's Riku.
But with that thought came a cloud of uncertainty. What kind of love is that?
Sakuya looked away, his cheeks warm, the realization wrapping around him like a comforting blanket. He didn’t have the answer just yet. But perhaps he was getting closer. 𐔌՞꜆. ̫.꜀՞𐦯