Archive of Our Own

The air in the park is crisp, smelling faintly of autumn leaves and the lingering scent of Soobin’s cologne—that familiar, grounding mix of sandalwood and clean musk. Choi Yeonjun has spent three weeks rehearsing this moment. He has every word memorized, the perfect lighting scouted under the autumn sun, and his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. 

"Soobin-ah," Yeonjun starts, his voice steadying despite the chaos in his chest. "There’s... something I need to tell you—"

Choi Soobin, who has been lazily kicking at a pile of orange leaves, looks up. His blond hair is ruffled by the autumn breeze, and his dimples—that handsome feature that always manages to light up Yeonjun’s world—are on full display. But his eyes are bright, lit with a sudden, frantic sort of excitement Yeonjun has never witnessed before. He practically bounces on the balls of his feet, cutting Yeonjun off before he can even get the word out. 

Yeonjun’s confession—the silly, hopeful love note he’s prepared for weeks—dies in his throat. 

He has been hopelessly devoted to Soobin since they were children. He is tired of orbiting a sun he can never touch, tired of the silence, and today was supposed to be the day he broke free of the gravity tethering him. But that dimpled smile interrupts his resolve before he can even begin. 

Soobin looks completely oblivious, while Yeonjun is so hopelessly whipped that he just can’t help himself anymore. He is exhausted by the ache of unreciprocated longing. 

He lets Soobin take control, pulling him back into his warmth like a sun around which Yeonjun’s moon-like existence revolves. 

"Oh, wait! Hyung, stop—me first!" Soobin grins, a wide, boyish expression that makes Yeonjun’s breath hitch. Whenever the blond is around, Yeonjun feels nothing but a lethal, addictive kind of joy. "I have news. Like, big news. You're allowed to guess!" 

Yeonjun feels the words he’s been holding onto shrivel up and turn to dust. He forces a stiff, encouraging smile, his hands curling into tight fists inside his jacket pockets. He is the professional support system, even when it is his own chest being hollowed out. 

"Oh? What is it, Binnie?"

"I think I’m in love," Soobin blurts out, his cheeks turning a rosy, endearing shade of pink.

And I’m in love with you, too, Soobin, Yeonjun thinks, his mind screaming the words while his eyes stare fondly at the man who is currently oblivious to everything. Don’t you know? Or are you really that unaware?

Yeonjun watches as Soobin looks down at his shoes, bashful and shy, wishing—praying—that his own name will be the next word to leave Soobin's lips. 

"With your sister.. Minji."

No, no way. It can’t be.

The world suddenly tilts on its axis. The wind dies down, leaving the park in an eerie, ringing silence. Yeonjun feels the confession he’s been nursing for years crumble into ash. He can see his own reflection in the hollow of Soobin’s excitement—a portrait of a boy who has just been erased. 

Yeonjun feels like he is falling, but not into Soobin’s arms—he is falling into pieces. The confession cuts deep, a familiar pain like wings shattering, leaving him grounded and unable to breathe. For a terrifying second, he wants to disappear entirely. 

"My... my sister?" Yeonjun repeats, his chest tightening. His voice sounds tinny, as if it is drifting in from a great distance.

"Yeah!" Soobin looks up, eyes sparkling with that devastating adoration. "I know it’s crazy, right? You’re my best friend, and she’s… well, she’s perfect. I’ve been thinking about it for months, and I finally realized it today. I really, really like her, hyung." 

A cold weight sinks into the pit of Yeonjun’s stomach, dragging the air right out of his lungs. He tries to swallow the sudden taste of ash, but his throat is entirely dry. Instead, he forces the familiar, practiced twitch of his cheek muscles into a smile—anything to keep his fingers from curling into fists, anything to keep the cracks in his voice from breaking the surface. After all, he has perfected this mask for years. 

"Wow," Yeonjun breathes, patting Soobin’s shoulder with a hand that refuses to stop shaking. "That’s… that’s great, Soobin. You’re a good guy… my best friend while she’s a great girl… literally my best sister, too. You both are gonna make a perfect couple." 

"You think so?" Soobin’s face lights up, his eyes crinkling in that way that always makes Yeonjun’s core ache. He doesn't notice the tremor in Yeonjun's hand or the way his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I was so worried you’d think it was weird, given... you know. She’s your sister." 

Yeonjun pulls his hand away, tucking it into his pocket to hide the shaking. He forces a laugh that sounds a little too bright, a little too loud. "Weird? Not at all, Bin. Honestly, if anyone is going to take care of her, I'm glad it’s you."

God, why am I doing this?

His internal monologue screams at him to stop, to just tell the truth. But Soobin is already vibrating with excitement, mapping out a future that doesn't include him in the way he craves. 

"Okay, then!" Soobin claps his hands together, effectively sealing the deal. "Starting tomorrow, I need your help. I need to know everything. Her favorite color, her coffee order, what she likes or hates—everything!"

Yeonjun nods, each movement feeling like he’s forcing his body through wet cement. "Right… The full breakdown. I’ve got you, Bin. I'll make sure you win her over."

Soobin beams, pulling Yeonjun into a tight, crushing hug. "You’re the best, hyung. I don’t know what I’d do without you."

As Soobin holds him, Yeonjun stares past his shoulder at the autumn leaves drifting to the ground. The contrast is so sharp—the world keeps moving, the leaves keep falling, and he just keeps falling harder.

I wish I could hate you, Bin, he thinks, his heart heavy with a sorrow he can never voice. But I can't. I just hope you and my sister find happiness. I promise you that after this, I’ll find a way to move on. 

"Yeah," Yeonjun murmurs into Soobin’s shoulder, tears prickling the back of his eyes. "Best of luck… to you both."

🍂

The sun has dipped lower, turning the sky into a bruised mixture of purple and gold. The park, which felt so warm and inviting only ten minutes ago, now feels stark and cold. The wind picks up, rustling the same pile of orange leaves Soobin was kicking just moments ago—the ones that now look like a graveyard for his disastrously impulsive plan. 

He stays in the same spot, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. The silence here is different now. Before, it was filled with the anticipation of his "big news." Now, it is just hollow. The park feels too expansive, the benches too far apart, and the fading, familiar scent of smoky cedarwood Yeonjun leaves behind feels like a taunt. 

He watches the path where Yeonjun’s silhouette finally disappeared. 

Ah, I see now, he thinks, the realization settling in his stomach like lead. Yeonjun doesn’t love me.

He had really, truly hoped that if he told Yeonjun he liked his sister, he would see a flicker of something in those eyes. A flash of jealousy, a sharpness in his expression—a reason to stop him. He wanted him to be the one to say, “No, Soobin, not her. Please, love me instead.” He wanted an excuse to reach out and pull him closer into his own orbit.

Instead, Yeonjun hadn’t even blinked. He had just offered to be his cupid. 

I wish I could hate you, hyung, he thinks, staring at the empty path. I wish I could be your first love, or the one you hold close to your heart. But I can't. This love is too hopeless. Maybe moving on is the only option left.

He lets out a harsh, jagged breath, kicking at the pile of leaves again. They scatter uselessly, revealing the damp, dark earth beneath. He feels like a fool standing here in the cooling air, realizing that he has just played his absolute best card and gotten absolutely nothing in return. 

"Stupid," He mutters to the empty park, his voice sounding thin against the vastness of the trees. "You’re so fucking stupid, Soobin."

Soobin pulls his phone out, the screen lighting up his face in the growing twilight. A text from Yeonjun is already waiting for him:

‘Don’t worry, I’ll help you out with Minji tomorrow. We can go over what she likes.’

He stares at the screen until it dims, then locks it. He is looking at his ticket to being near Yeonjun, but it feels like a prison sentence. If Yeonjun really doesn't care, then fine. He will play the part. 

Soobin will go all the way with this until he’s forced to see if there is a single thing behind those kind, brotherly eyes that isn't just platonic duty. 

He turns away from the spot where Yeonjun stood. The park feels lonely now, just a backdrop for a game he is no longer sure he wants to win. 

🍂

“Minji, I like you..”

“Uh, what..”

"That’s it," Soobin says, dropping his gaze. "I don't think I need to repeat myself." 

Minji pauses, studying him before she chuckles, her expression soft and amused. "Oppa, I’m sorry, but I don't see you that way. And if I’m being honest… your eyes are full of lies when you say that. Care to explain why?"

Soobin lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. "Fine. It’s Yeonjun. I’m in love with your brother, but he doesn’t seem to love me as anything more than his best friend."

The afternoon light is golden, filtering through the trees of the park—the same spot where this all began. Minji brushes a stray leaf from Soobin’s jacket, her smile sympathetic. "So, you like my brother, and your grand plan was to use me to make him jealous?" 

Soobin winces, rubbing the back of his neck. "When you put it like that, it sounds insane. I’m sorry, Minji. I just didn't know how to reach him. I was so scared that if I just said it out loud, I’d lose him forever." 

Minji laughs, a light, understanding sound. “You’re an idiot. I mean, look at your face—you're gorgeous. There’s absolutely no way my brother wouldn't fall for you—”

“But you didn’t fall for me, though, sis? With this face?” Soobin gestures to himself with a look of genuine, boyish confusion.

Minji facepalms, letting out an exasperated groan. "You are honestly infuriating, Oppa. Just... stop." She takes a breath, choosing to ignore his total lack of self-awareness. "Whatever. Look, I’ll help you. I’m only doing this so you two idiots stop dancing around each other. One staged moment. Make it count—consider this a lifetime offer."

The plan is set. Soobin and Minji stand close, just as the sound of footsteps crunches on the path nearby. Yeonjun is coming, returning from the local shop with a pair of chocolate-dipped strawberries with fall crumbles—a treat he bought to play his part as their supportive cupid.

Soobin takes a sharp breath, leaning in. Minji presses a deliberate, playful kiss to his cheek. From a distance, they look like a textbook couple: intimate, settled, and perfect.

Then, the footsteps stop abruptly.

The air leaves the park. Yeonjun stands frozen, the world narrowing down to the exact point where his sister's lips meet his best friend's cheek. The sound of the park—the rustling leaves, the distant chatter—vanishes into a sudden, roaring hum in his ears. He doesn't say a word. His fingers simply go slack, and the bittersweet snack hits the dirt with a dull, muffled thud. 

For one agonizing second, nothing moves. The betrayal doesn't even feel sharp yet; it just feels like the air has been completely sucked out of his chest, leaving him hollow.

By the time the shock finally shatters into a blinding, suffocating panic, Soobin is already turning around.

Soobin’s heart leaps into his throat, though the sight that meets him isn’t a jealous lover—it is a completely broken one. Yeonjun’s face is paper-white, his eyes wide and glassy with a pain so sharp it looks like a physical blow. Before Soobin can even call out, Yeonjun spins on his heel and runs, his sneakers pounding desperately against the path as he tries to outrun the wreckage of his own heart. 

"Yeonjun!" Soobin shouts, abandoning Minji without a second thought. "Hyung, wait!"

He sprints, his lungs burning, his feet pounding against the earth. He finally catches up to him near the edge of the clearing, grabbing his arm just in time to stop him from fleeing further. Yeonjun is trembling violently, like a leaf caught in a gale. 

"Let go," Yeonjun gasps, desperately trying to yank his arm away. "Just… let me go, Soobin. You have her. You don't need me anymore."

"I never had her!" Soobin shouts, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. He grips Yeonjun’s shoulders, forcing him to stand still, forcing him to look at him. "Everything—the news, the dates, asking for your help—it was all a lie! It was a stupid, desperate game because I was terrified that if I told you the truth, I’d lose you forever!" 

Yeonjun freezes. He looks up, his eyes frantically searching Soobin’s face for any sign of a cruel joke. "What?" 

"I don't love her, Yeonjun," Soobin cries, the tears finally spilling over his cheeks. “Look me in the eyes. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I thought if I made you jealous, you’d finally see me. I was so stupid, so scared… I’m so sorry.”

The silence that follows is heavy, but it isn't the cold, ringing void of before; it is thick with realization. Yeonjun stares at Soobin, seeing the undeniable truth deep inside his gaze—his eyes don’t lie. The mask Yeonjun has worn for weeks finally shatters completely. The agonizing heartbreak in his expression shifts into something else—a desperate, starving kind of hope. 

"You… you really don't love her?" Yeonjun whispers, his voice barely audible.

"I’ve only ever loved you," Soobin confesses, his hands sliding up to cup Yeonjun’s face, his thumbs gently brushing away the elder's tears. "I’m done with the games.. done with the lies. I only want you, Yeonjun."

Yeonjun doesn't answer with words. Instead, he reaches up, his fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of Soobin’s neck, and pulls him down.

When their lips finally meet, it isn't like the games they’ve been playing. It is soft, desperate, and tastes like pure relief—the sun and the moon finally colliding in perfect alignment. Yeonjun kisses him with everything he’s been holding back: the years of pining, the sleepless nights, and the crushing weight of his hidden love.

Soobin gasps into the kiss, his arms wrapping tightly around Yeonjun’s waist, pulling him so close there’s no space left between them. They stand there in the cooling autumn air, enveloped in the familiar blend of Soobin's comforting sandalwood and the smoky warmth of Yeonjun's cedarwood. Two people who have almost lost everything to a misunderstanding, finally finding each other in the wreckage. 

When they pull apart, foreheads resting together, Yeonjun lets out a shaky, watery laugh.

"You really are an idiot," Yeonjun murmurs, his face beautifully flushed.

"I am," Soobin agrees, a dimpled smile finally breaking through his tears. "But at least I’m your idiot now." 

"I guess so am I," Yeonjun chuckles, pressing another soft kiss to Soobin’s lips. "We’re definitely going to make the perfect idiots in love couple." 

“As we should,” Soobin says, his voice steadying. “Let’s make it official, hyung. And… be my last first kiss.”

Soobin remembers how Yeonjun once told him casually that he had never experienced a real kiss in all his twenty years. He feels a sudden, intense wave of gratitude to be the one who gets to make his first kiss last forever. 

“I love you, Soobin,” Yeonjun whispers, burying his face in the crook of Soobin's neck. “I belong to you now. I promise to stay—no more running away.”

“I love you more, Yeonjun,” Soobin replies, tightening his embrace. “I’ll make it last forever. No more hesitation.”

From a distance, Minji watches them, a bright, satisfied smile on her face. “So glad I did my part. Best of luck to both of you.”

She turns and leaves them alone in the quiet peace of the park. The falling leaves continue to drift down, but for the first time in years, Yeonjun isn't the one falling alone. He’s finally home. And for Soobin, the ache in his heart is finally healed by the warmth of Yeonjun’s embrace. 

THE END