Archive of Our Own ^beta

1. First Argument

"My god, man, you could at least act like it was a hard decision," McCoy says. Acting captain or not, just who does this Vulcan think he is?

2. First Touch

McCoy storms onto the bridge, heading straight for the captain's chair.

“Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!”

Spock merely turns his head toward McCoy and raises an eyebrow at the outburst. “Is there something wrong, Doctor?”

“You let Jim beam down, let him accept the barbaric ritual. Damn it, man, you know what the ritual entails. He’ll get himself killed!” The people of Rho III didn’t welcome outsiders easily. If you wanted into their city then you had to fight, show your worth. The Ritual of Warriors, they called it.

Spock stands up and calmly says, “I did not let him, the captain chose to go. What would you have had me do?”

“Go yourself!" he yells, his anger building by the second. “’Bout time you used that Vulcan strength for something besides almost killing the captain.”

“The captain ordered that no one but him go. He –“

“Goddammit, it’s been over six hours since he's transported down, the ritual is only supposed to take three. Why haven’t you sent a rescue team?” He grinds his teeth; his worry for Jim intensifying as more time passes by.

Spock steps closer to McCoy, face as expressiveless as ever and McCoy’s rage goes up another notch. “I cannot send a rescue team, or any other team, down to the planet. They would most likely be killed on sight. The captain’s orders were explicit, Doctor.”

“I’ll go myself then. You may not care that Jim could be down there bleeding to death, but I do.” He turns to go but Spock grabs his arm.

“I will not let you go,” Spock says, tightening his grip as McCoy tries to yank his arm loose.

“For God’s sake, he could be injured, needing medical attention.”

“I am aware of that possibility, Doctor. Now, please return to sickbay.” Spock appears passive but McCoy knows better, he can feel the anger coming off of Spock, can see the fire blazing in his eyes.

Spock is pissed at him. Good. He is damn well furious at the commander.

He gets right into Spock’s face and says with a quiet-calm that he doesn’t feel, “If he doesn’t return, I’m blaming you. His death will be on your head. Or does that even matter to you, you unfeeling-”

“I suggest you return to sickbay right now, Doctor,” Spock interrupts, just a hint of warning in his voice and that’s it, McCoy snaps, punching the green-blooded bastard right in the face.

3. First Overnight

McCoy yawns loudly when he enters the medical bay after a quick meal in the mess. He hasn't slept in over thirty-two hours but can't return to his quarters quite yet, not until he checks on Lieutenant Uhura. He's spent fourteen hours in surgery trying to piece her back together. He can sleep after he knows she's out of the woods.

He ambles to her recovery room, pausing when he sees Spock by her biobed. McCoy's a bit surprised at seeing him here, the commander and lieutenant broke up months ago. He opens his mouth, about to tell Spock to get the hell out when he spots Spock's hand moving, pausing just shy of Uhura's. His palm hovers for a few seconds before pulling back. He places his hands behind his back, making no move to leave Uhura's side.

McCoy turns around, telling Nurse Chapel to get the idiot man a chair.

When he next returns to Uhura's room, he finds Spock asleep in a chair, his head resting on the biobed, his hand gentle covering the lieutenant's.

Well, what do you know, the pointy-eared hobgoblin has feelings after all.

4. First Kiss

McCoy's lost track of how many arguments he's had with Spock. It seems to have become a thing with them. They disagree on almost everything - strategy, politics, philosophy, religion, Jim. He's noticed an increase in the amount of 'debates' (as Spock likes to call them) in the last few months. They can hardly be in the same room together without riling each other.

Spock gets under his skin, provokes him, constantly. Sometimes McCoy thinks Spock does it on purpose.

There are times, like now for instance, when he has no idea what they are fighting about. He just knows that somewhere along the way, he has started to look forward to this. The minor increase in his heart rate, the small sparks that tingle along his skin, the way Spock's eyes slightly flash as they focus completely on him.

"Your argument is illogical, Doctor."

They're standing close together, not even a foot apart. When had that happened?

McCoy is about to tell Spock where he can shove his damn logic, when, "Enough damn it, would you just kiss me already," comes out.

For once, Spock doesn't argue with him.

Instead, he grasps McCoy's face with both hands and presses their lips together hard.

McCoy doesn't really register it at first, his mind still wondering what the hell had possessed him to say such a thing, but then it got harder to think because for a stoic Vulcan, Spock's kisses are electrifying. Every cell in McCoy's body is buzzing, like some switch has been turned on inside of him.

Spock's tendency to shy away from touch seems to vanish, his hands everywhere, traveling from McCoy's shoulders to back to waist, his body pressing against McCoy's. His knee making a home between McCoy's leg and with a growl McCoy remembers that he has hands too, can kiss back.

He has no idea how long it goes on, one kiss bleeding into another before Spock pulls away as abruptly as he'd leaned in.

McCoy breathes in deeply, trying to return oxygen to his lungs, his eyes riveted by the light green flush on Spock's face, his swollen lips.

"Wow," is about the only thing he can manage to say, tentatively sliding his palms down Spock's back.

"Affirmative," Spock says, giving a tiny shudder as McCoy ventures his hand lower.

It may very will be McCoy who kisses Spock again.

5. First Pon Farr

It's been four days since Spock has locked himself in his quarters, meditating. Four days since McCoy has last seen or heard anything from him. Four days since his Pon Farr has began.

Two more days until they reach New Vulcan. Not that that would do any good, Spock has made it perfectly clear he wants to bond only with McCoy. That's the problem.

He doesn't want to 'bond'. He's gone down that road before, Jocelyn had once been his whole world and he had to watch as that world crumbled to ash. He can't go through that again.

Yet, he doesn't want his Vulcan to die, and isn't that something? When has he started to think of Spock as his?

McCoy berates himself, calling himself a coward and a fool and dozens of other names before grabbing his medkit. Above all, Spock is his patient, a patient that may need medical attention.

He very nearly turns around when he's at Spock's door, but forces himself to key in the medical override code on the panel.

The door opens with a soft hiss, McCoy enters hesitantly.

Spock is sitting motionless on the floor, the room filled with candles, the sweltering hot air hits McCoy as soon as he enters.

The door closes behind him and Spock turns his head toward the noise. His face is lined with strain, his body tense, and his eyes. Dear lord, his eyes are scorching.

"Leonard," he chokes out, one shaking hand reaching out before he pulls it back and turns away. "You need to leave, I do not know how much longer I can control myself."

"Not leaving," he says, moving towards Spock. He can't leave Spock like this, looking as if he will collapse any second.

McCoy notices the pale green flush inching up Spock's skin. He kneels to check Spock's pulse, his eyes widening in alarm when he touches Spock's too hot skin.

"Please, Leonard, I burn," Spock begs, curling his hands into fists. McCoy has no idea if Spock is pleading for him to leave or stay until Spock yells in desperation, "Go!"

He shakes his head, cupping Spock's damp with sweat head and forcing Spock to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You must...you do not wish to-"

"Can't a man change his mind?" he interrupts, all his fears from earlier vanishing as he realizes the truth. "Now listen here, you green-blooded bastard, I love you. I'm not leaving you."