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Applejack sat up high in the oldest apple tree, her back pressed against the trunk as the afternoon sun filtered through the leaves above her. From where she was sitting, the orchard seemed endless.
Branches stretched around her in every direction, heavy with apples and familiar enough that she could have named each tree without looking.
Applejack wasn’t sure that there were exactly one million branches. She once tried to count, but gave up at twenty-three. It didn’t really seem to matter how many branches there were, she loved every one.
She loved how sturdy they were, especially beneath the weight of the apples that grew from them. They bent under the burden but never seemed to break, holding steady season after season.
She had spent half her life climbing these branches. Maybe more.
Sometimes she wondered if her parents had ever come looking for her when she disappeared into the orchard as a little girl. She couldn’t remember. Maybe that was the problem. There were some memories she could hold onto perfectly, and others that seemed to disappear the harder she reached for them.
Down below, the farmhouse was quiet. The October sun beat relentlessly against the back of her neck. Her red flannel stuck to her sweaty and damp arms. Applejack groaned in disgust and she peeled the fabric off her skin.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out there for, or how long she’d been up in the tree, but she knew she was going crazy.
Crazy from the heat, crazy from her racing thoughts of a particular rainbow box-dyed haired girl that haunted her every waking moment, crazy from the loud thumping of her heart.
Applejack let out a sigh and slouched against the tree. She pulled her hat down to shield her eyes from the blazing sunlight.
“Hey Aj!” A familiar, squeaky raspy voice cut into applejack’s thoughts and snapped her back to reality. She jolted upright, almost losing her balance and hitting her head on a tree branch in the process.
“Ow—fuck.” the swear slipped from applejack’s lips as she rubbed her head. Her gaze dropped towards the ground and landed on a familiar rainbow wolf cut. “Dash? What’re you doin’ here?”
Dash smiled up at Applejack. “I’m in town this week. Thought I’d come say hi.”
Applejack climbed down from the tree she was sitting in. Boots crunching on fallen leaves. Her eyes lingered on Rainbow Dash, scrutinizing her appearance.
Her hair was a bit longer than the last time she saw her, her roots grown out with just the smallest amount of dark brown peaking through. She had a few new shiny piercings that definitely weren’t there before.
Applejack’s eyes caught on the tattoo peeking from beneath Rainbow’s sleeve—a little white cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt cutting through it.
“In town for what?” Her throat felt dry, her vocal cords rubbing together like sandpaper just to produce the horrible sound that was her voice.
“The Rainbooms are doing a show here. Hey, do you think it’s alright if I stay with you? I don’t really have anywhere else to—“
Applejack stepped forward and threw her arms around dash. She squeezed her tight as she inhaled the scent of her. A scent she hadn’t smelled in months. A hint of vanilla, some sort of musk perfume mixed with something uniquely Rainbow Dash and nostalgia.
“woah, ok someone missed me.” Dash laughed, wrapping her own arms around Applejack.
“Of course I missed you, asshole. Haven’t seen you in months.” Applejack pulled back to study Rainbow’s face. “You’ve got new jewelry.” She said, referencing the new eyebrow piercing, septum, and snake bites.
“You like them? I think they make me look twenty-percent cooler.” Dash grinned, showcasing her smiley piercing.
“Err— sure, Dash.” Applejack smiled. “Just make sure you stay away from magnets.”
A fist connected with her shoulder, and a laugh escaped Applejack’s lips.
“Dickhead,” Dash muttered under her breath.
“I’m sorry, sugarcube.” Applejack snorted, rubbing her shoulder.
“So about me staying with you.. is that alright?” Dash asked.
“Now don't be crazy, yes, now of course you can stay here” her lips curved into a smile.
“Thanks, AJ.” A smile crossed over dash’s face.
“Anytime.” Applejack turned toward the house, but Dash caught her by the wrist. Instantly, Applejack felt all the breath she had escape her lungs, her heart hammered and left her mind clouded.
Dash’s hand was warm, oh so warm, and it was affecting Applejack’s ability to think straight.
“Wait.” Dash said.
“What?” She turned to face Dash, only to find the biggest smile on her face.
“Look.” Dash pointed toward the sky.
Applejack followed her gaze. The sun was starting to go down, leaving a mosaic of oranges and purples across the sky. “What?” She repeated, only for Dash to suddenly tug her backward.
“Rainbow!” They stumbled together, Applejack’s laugh mixing with Dash’s as they lost their balance and fell into the grass.
Applejack immediately rolled over, propping herself up on one elbow. “The fuck’d you do that for?” Her brows scrunched up.
Dash was already laughing, lying flat on her back beside her. “You should’ve seen your face.”
The low rumble of the train tracks nearby flooded the air. Applejack shook her head, fighting back a laugh. “You’re an idiot.”
“What?” Dash screamed over the sound. “Can’t hear ya!”
“I said you’re an idiot!”
“Oh, yeah?”
Dash rolled onto her side and reached for Applejack, grabbing her around the waist.
“What the— Rainbow!” Applejack’s elbow slipped out from underneath her as Dash pulled her closer, sending them both rolling through the grass. “Get off me!”
“Make me!” Dash retorted.
“Y’are such a pain in the ass!” Applejack managed to roll them over, pinning Dash beneath her for half a second. “Ha! Gotcha.”
“Oh, fuck you.” Dash twisted free, grabbing Applejack around the waist and dragging her back down with her.
“Dash!” They wrestled through the grass, both of them putting the other’s body to the test with their own. Neither of them really trying to win anymore.
It was just stupid, childish fun—the kind neither of them had had in far too long. The feeling when love feels like it’s out of control.
Eventually, Dash stopped. Applejack paused above her, breathing hard from laughing.
Three, two, one, where did it go? That feeling disappeared like smoke fading from an extinguished cigarette.
Dash stared up at her for a moment, her grin slowly fading. “I miss this.”
“Miss what?” Applejack replied, rolling off of rainbow. She laid down on her back beside dash, resting a hand on her stomach as she panted slightly.
“I miss this. I miss acting like an asshole and goofing around all the time. Been in a touring band for going on three years, and it’s like I have no time for myself, or the people I love anymore.” Dash’s tone was full of wistfulness.
Applejack tilted her head and looked at Dash. The glow of the sunset rained down on her, making her look ethereal. Her side profile was perfect, well, everything about her was perfect to Applejack.
The light caught and reflected off the metal on her face, her grown out rainbow hair was ruffled from the wrestling.
“Big deal.” She said. “I guess you’re official.”
Rainbow rolled over and placed an arm under her head. “I guess. But it’s like, is this really what I want to do?”
Applejack frowned. “Thought this was your dream.”
“It was.”
“Was?”
Rainbow stared up at the darkening sky, watching the last streaks of orange disappear behind the clouds.
“I don’t know anymore.” She paused. “Three years ago, I would’ve killed to be where I am now. Touring, playing shows, having people actually know who I am…” A quiet laugh escaped her. “Sounds pretty damn perfect, right?”
Applejack glanced at her. “Sounds like it.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow’s smile faded. “Except nobody tells you what happens after you get everything you wanted.”
Applejack stayed quiet.
“You start missing the stuff you thought you didn’t need anymore.” Applejack watched as Rainbow chewed on her lip, carefully considering what to say next.
“I don’t know, sometimes I wish I could just take a break from it all.” She said. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. Her fingers tangled in the grass.
“I know what it's like to feel burned out. It gets you down, we've all been there sometimes.” Applejack said, her gaze roaming over dash’s face.
“It’s not just that.” Rainbow sighed exasperatedly.
“People started telling me what I should look like. What would sell. What would photograph better. Eventually I got tired of looking in the mirror and wondering if I was seeing myself or whatever version of me they wanted.”
Rainbow picked at the grass between her fingers. “After a while, you start believing them. Every comment, every review, every person telling you what you should change.”
Applejack’s eyes drifted over her face—the metal catching the last traces of sunlight, the colorful strands of hair falling messily around her eyes.
“That’s why you got all this?” Applejack asked, gesturing toward her piercings and tattoo. She slowly sat up and turned her body to face dash.
Rainbow shrugged. “Partly. I wanted something that felt like mine.”
Applejack was quiet for a moment. Then she reached over, gently brushing a strand of hair away from Rainbow’s face.
“Well,” she murmured, “you don’t have to worry about any of that.”
Rainbow looked at her. Applejack smiled softly. “Tonight, I’ll make you feel beautiful once again.”
“You with your poetic bullshit.” Dash grumbled, throwing the ripped up pieces of grass at Applejack. Then, she reached inside her pocket and pulled out a cigarette box.
She tapped the box against her palm before flipping it open and taking one between her fingers. “Want one?”
“I quit doin’ that shit years ago.” Applejack shook her head. Dash just shrugged and pulled a lighter out of her shoe.
“If I were you, I'd put that away.” She tsked. Rainbow rolled her eyes, ignoring her as she lit the cigarette. The tiny flame disappeared almost as quickly as it came, followed by a thin curl of smoke.
Her lips wrapped around the cigarette as she took a long drag. When she finally exhaled, she raised her hand and waved off Applejack’s previous words, along with the smoke now settling in the air. “Yeah, yeah.” She muttered.
They sat in silence for a minute. Applejack rested the side of her cheek on her knee, staring at Dash as the smoke slipped past her lips, like secrets disappearing in the wind the second they’re spoken aloud.
“Remember when we would sneak out here for a cigarette whenever things got too loud” Dash said, her gaze on the swirling smoke. “We did that a lot during senior year.”
“Mhm..” Applejack smiled faintly. “But I also remember how horrible that year was. And how eighteen-year-old me was addicted to cigarettes.”she chuckled. “Not really the best memory.”
“Wow, way to only focus on the bad parts.”
“You want another one?” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “How about that time when you were totally shit-faced and thought it was a good idea to jump off the barn roof?”
Dash grinned. “I got a sick ass scar from that. A win is a win.”
“Mm, and a broken leg.” Applejack shook her head.
Dash was silent for a second before speaking. “I miss that. Don’t you ever miss that? How we had no fucks to give and weren’t drowning in endless stress?”
“Dash, you gave me a fuckin’ heart attack when you jumped off the damn barn roof.” Applejack laughed bitterly. “I absolutely don’t miss you doin’ stupid shit like that.”
“Fuck, Jackie. Forget about the stupid roof for a second. Don’t you miss being free and happy?”
“I was high almost every day. I don’t even remember half of senior year. See, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again”
“Well maybe I wanna think about it.” Dash retorted. She shook her head and took another long drag.
“Was a shitty year, I don’t know why y’wanna reminisce about it.” Applejack tsked.
“I was happy.”
“Were you?” Dash paused mid-exhale and turned to look at applejack.
“Seriously? Why do you always gotta be an asshole?”
“I’m honest.”
“An honest asshole.” Dash grumbled. “You just don’t get it.”
“Then help me get it.” She took her stetson off and ran a hand through her sun-bleached blonde hair.
“I don’t miss senior year. It has nothing to do with that.” She sighed, exasperated. “I miss who I was.”
Applejack bit the inside of her lip, letting those words settle between them. “Oh, sugarcube.”
“I’m not even sure I want to be a part of The Rainbooms anymore. I’m fucking done, Apples.” Her hands tangled in her grown out wolf cut.
“Darlin’, you’ll be ok.” Applejack said, her hand finding rainbow’s shoulder.
"If you were me, you'd do the same.”
Dash’s voice cracked. “'Cause I can't take anymore.”
“Dash—“
“If I could, I’d draw the shades and close the door.” Her fingers pulled at her colourful hair. “Everything's not alright, and I would rather—"
Dash let out a shaky laugh and dragged her hands down her face.
“Rather what?” Applejack asked quietly.
“I don’t fucking know.” Dash whispered. “I just know I can’t do this anymore.”
Applejack moved closer to Dash and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against her chest.
“The last show of the tour is in May.” Dash swallowed. “Fuck, I don’t think I can last that long—”
“I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Applejack said softly. “Just… hold on till May, alright? And after that, fuck, you can come visit me whenever you want. I’ll make you feel beautiful once again. I’ll help you get through this.”
Rainbow was quiet for a moment. “Just hold on till May?”
“Till May.” Applejack repeated.
Rainbow nodded slowly. “Yeah. I think I can do that.”
“Atta girl.” Applejack pulled rainbow closer.