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Ramona wakes up in Annie’s bedroom in New York once again just as she’s been doing for the last 8 months. At first she felt weird, she felt she was invading her safe place, just turning upside down everything Annie had built for 18 years straight. Also, the farewell at the end of the summer was bittersweet: Ramona just couldn't guess if in the end, Annie was happy or not about the fact of both of them being siblings. She felt like an impostor.
Last Christmas she got to reunite again with her sister and friends at Sterling Point and she could have a proper conversation with Annie: she was feeling the same, that's why she was sleeping in Gordon’s bedroom and not the one that she used to share with Ramona, the one who belonged once to their mother Goldie. They both agreed to keep their room with their identity, but also have the freedom to add and decorate it with new things that were personal to the new hosts, and they also agreed to not sending any pictures to the other and wait for a visit to react. Both of them had things that they wanted to hold on their walls to make the rooms comfiest.
Now is time for Ramona to leave New York again for spring holidays and see how her room has changed. She used to have this conversation with Annie:
“It’s not fair, you are having more time than me to re-decorate everything, and things made up with hurry are never well done.” Annie said.
“It’s not that important, we are not interior designers. Also, I don’t know what you expect for your New York City’s bedroom but it’s still like… Really yours… I have barely touched it because I didn’t have much in here”. Ramona answered.
This time, she’s travelling alone. Steven and Connor decided to stay in the city for these days but Ramona really needs to take some time away from her new life. “Back to origins” She thinks. Her flight is at 9:30 a.m and it's 7 a.m.
***
Just a few minutes later after landing, Ramona can see her best friend so she runs towards him. Ellis is waving at her smiling and they both hug for the first time in months.
“Welcome home Ramona.”Ellis says. “Although, I’m not sure if it’s correct what I have just told you because you really look like a New York City girl now”He clocks on her new clothes
“Don’t be a fool, you know you’ll always be home. You are just not used to see me dressed in a not-summer-outfit.”Ramona replies “In fact, I think I have just been here in Spring for like 3 or 4 times in my life”
“Ok, could be. Uh… Lets move, you have people waiting for you in the island”
They both get in the plane and fly to Sterling point. Ramona knows she has been missing that feeling a lot but now she’s living it she thinks she could cry. A little tear runs down to her cheek but Ellis doesn’t see it because he’s the pilot.
In the cottage, Annie is walking from one side to another waiting for her sister and boyfriend to arrive. She’s the only one at home because Sully and Oona are both at work but they are all meeting by the evening. She is also really worried about what Ramona is going to think about the invasion she has made into her room. It’s not like she has changed everything: the main colors of the room remain the same as always and she still sleeps in her bed most of the time… Except for the nights when Oona wants to see a horror movie, that nights she sleeps in Ellis’ or in Ramona’s bed to feel closer to her.
Ellis and Ramona arrive at the cottage, carrying just one suitcase and a little backpack. The moment Annie sees them, goes to open all the doors and then comes out and runs to hug them.
“Hi guys!”Annie says.
“Hello”Ellis says.
“Ok, I want to go to our room like, right now”Ramona says.
“But please, cut me some slack Ramona”Annie replies.
“You’re being an idiot.”Her sister says.
“So, I’m helping you with the suitcases and then I have to leave. I have more flights today but I’ll see you this evening”Ellis says.
Once Ellis is gone and the luggage inside the house Ramona runs upstairs, followed by Annie.
“I can’t wait to see it”Ramona says.
“It hasn’t changed much, to be honest”Annie replies.
Ramona opens the door and sees her bedroom again. Many things have happened there and many conversations have taken place there. She goes directly to her bed and lays on it. Annie sits on the other one.
“Oh, I’ve missed this”Ramona says.
“Uh… I must confess I sometimes sleep in your bed… But just when I miss a sister’s conversation…”Annie says “So… What do you think?”
Lights are a little bit changed: there are now tiny little led lights all around the bedroom and the walls are also filled with photos of the last summer and winter. There wasn’t enough room for more furniture but there are two more shelves with Ramona and Annie’s books.
“I like it” Ramona says while turning on a cigarette. “I don’t know why you were nervous, I have probably made more changes in your room.”
Now, Ramona doesn’t know how to feel. It is true that she has made more changes to Annie’s NYC bedroom. She needed that. She felt the space too much ‘newyorkcityrized’ and she needed her safe space to not remind her of New York at all so, after Christmas, she brought things from the cottage and relocated them in the room. She also changed the color of the walls, less white and clean and fancy and she painted it with a light blue color. Now she doesn’t know if she has crossed the line.
***
“So… How was this second period of time in the big city?” Oona asks.
“It was great, yeah.”Ramona replies.
It’s 8:30 p.m. and Sully has closed the cafeteria a little bit earlier than usual to have dinner with all his friends and now they are all reunited, asking Ramona for her new life.
“Oh, I’ve seen these photos of Central Park you know, changing with the seasons… I love those photos. They are really aesthetic to me” Sully says. “Have you seen the changes?”
“Uh… Yeah. In winter the park was all covered in white and now is green again, I guess…”Ramona replies.
“And what about school?” Maple continues asking.
“Great. It’s a bit different from Canada but I’ve met people who have helped me with the changes and the language is still the same, lucky me.”Ramona says.
“And how is having Connor as a brother? I guess it’s the worst part”Annie jokes.
“Oh, it really is” Ramona replies “But I think he’s better to me than he is to you Annie. I’m sorry, I’m the new favorite.”
The night passes in a series of questions and answers and suddenly it’s almost time to go to bed. Ramona and Oona are both outside of the cafeteria sharing a cigarette and a conversation while the rest are cleaning up to go home.
“So… You’ve met new people in school…”Oona says, bringing back the conversation again.
“Yeah, they are great people. Also rich people…” Ramona replies.
“Well, you are now rich too”.
“Ok, fair.”
“How are them? Are they good to you?”
“Uhm, yeah, I have a close group of friends and we use to help each other in class and then go out to dinner to some restaurant” Ramona says. “And sometimes we just meet up to lose time with each other in a house or a park. Sometimes we have movie nights… Oh, there was a time when this girl, Samantha… Sam… She told us to go to a nightclub. Obviously we weren’t allowed so we were kicked out the second we tried to enter. But we spent a lot of time trying to look older with the make up. We ended the night running and dancing and singing out loud in the street just in case a man wanted to approach us. You know, a big city can have many strange people so we need to look even more unhinged than them.”
“It seems you really like your new life”Oona says “I’m happy for you, you have found your place”.
“Yeah, I’m even thinking of going to uni also in New York”Ramona replies. “I’ll think about that next year, I have time”
A sad smile appears on Oona's face. The more time Ramona talks about New York, the more far she feels from her. She’s happy for her but she can’t help feeling sad also. Deep in her heart she hoped Ramona could come back after the school year for longer than a summer and just be like it had been before, but it looks that those times have gone far away, and she wants to say this to her but she doesn’t want her to change her whole life for an ex summer love, she needs to be free and it looks like she is just starting.
***
Annie is sitting on her bed while Ramona is lying on hers. They both have arrived home together and they are about to go to sleep. Just a few orange leds still on.
“Do you want to sleep with me?”Ramona asks
“Do you?”Annie replies.
“Just if you want?”Ramona ways.
“Ok, I’ll go but just if you tell me the truth”Annie says.
“The truth about what?” Ramona lets Annie lie down next to her and her sister puts an arm around her.
“You lied to all of us.” Annie says. “Especially to Oona. I’m sure you didn’t confess anything to her in private when you both were smoking outside”
“I didn’t lie”
“Come on, stop this bullshit, if you were that happy in New York you wouldn’t have run here as soon as you could. There is literally nothing here in Spring Holidays”
“You are here, and I missed you guys” Ramona says. Her sister raises an eyebrow. “Ok, I hate New York”
“Thanks for telling the truth” Annie says. She feels how Ramona starts sobbing “Do you want to talk about that?”
“But turn the lights off, please”. Annie takes control and turns the leds off.
“You know it’s not bad you don’t like the city” Annie tries to make Ramona feel better.
“Yeah… I know… But I was so excited to go see more than Sterling Point, and I wanted to sell the island and… I don’t know, I just think I had big expectations about my life but it still as fucked up as always… Even worse”
“What did you tell Oona? If I can ask” Annie says.
“More things about school and friends and parties and uni and… I don’t know. It’s not that I lied to her because all of those things did happen, it’s just that… I don’t enjoy them as much as I think I should” Ramona replies “I’m better here, right now with you talking about our lives…”
“So why didn’t you tell her this?” Annie keeps asking
“I don’t know, I guess I wanted to look cooler than I really am” Ramona says “I don’t want her to be worried about me. Not again. You know I feel guilty for disappearing over 1 year and not having any contact with anyone and now that I’m trying to keep it I don't want it to be all bad news”
“Ok, first of all, you are cool, ok? Like, you are cooler than anyone in New York, trust me” Annie starts “And second, I understand you but Oona knows you really well, do you really think she hasn’t clocked that you were lying to her? She worries about you because she loves you, and I know neither of you wanted to start again because it would be really difficult but you know, feelings don’t disappear in a week.” Annie can’t see her sister, but she knows she’s now crying.
“I feel that coming back here would be three steps back in my life.”Ramona says. “Why can't I find my place? Why is everything so difficult?”
Annie can’t help but hold her younger sister until she falls asleep.
***
Oona and Maple are in the boat house having breakfast. It’s the third time Oona burns the toast so Maple decides to go out of the house and just have an apple. She sees Ramona approaching the boat. It looks like she hasn’t spent the best night but Maple doesn’t want to ask. She just points at the opened door and says that Oona’s inside burning the last slice of bread they have. Ramona thanks her and gets into the boat house.
Just a few minutes earlier Annie has convinced Ramona to go talk to Oona and tell her the truth.
“Hi, can I get in?”Ramona asks. Oona looks to the door.
“Morning Ramona… Did you… Have… Nightmares or something?”Ramona forces a smile.
“Uh… Kinda… Probably jetlag…”Ramona jokes. Oona smiles.
“What happened?”
Ramona sits down on the sofa and tells the truth. Oona just listens to everything with patience and sits next to her and gives her the last toast. She knew something happened to Ramona but she seemed so convinced last night so Oona just thought her friend was changing and she just couldn't read her as well as she used to. Ramona finishes by asking, “Are you mad at me because I lied to you about my horrible life in NYC?”
“I couldn't be mad at those puppy eyes… I’m glad you told me how you felt” Oona replies. “But you should know I’ll never judge you, your acts or your feelings. It’s okay if you want to come back again in summer and stay for the whole year, we all do and it’s not as bad as it looks” Ramona smiles.
“I don't want to keep making bad decisions you know” Ramona confesses “I mean, What if I leave New York and I regret it?”
“You’ll not regret it, I’m convinced but you can always go back again” Oona says. “Just as you come back here every summer to be with us”
“To be with you, Oona.”